MAY 1999 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 1999


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Dangerous Narcotic =
Snort a drug - Cocaine.

2nd - Larry Brash with:
National Masturbation Day =
A damnation? It's natural, boy.

eq.3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Late night Chinese food party =
Heating the crispy noodle fat.

eq.3rd - Tom Myers with:
Places of worship =
Pews, foolish crap.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Eating disorders =
In gross diet, dear.

Kevin Hale with:
Ad infinitum =
I find I'm a nut.

Meyran Kraus with:
I Now Pronounce You Man And Wife =
Now wind up a ceremony of a union.

ID Letterman with:
I second the nomination =
The amen condition is on.

ID Letterman with:
Five star general =
Is fatal revenger.

ID Letterman with:
Admire the Milky Way's pretty fantasy show! =
Dreamy walk in the mystery of its pathways.

Marc Macauley with:
No Trespassing =
Stop near signs.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Forgive and forget =
Forgave, got friend.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Computerless for days =
My processor's default.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Chinese dinner party =
Ninny searched tripe.

Tom Myers with:
Graduation ceremony =
O my god! Uncertain era.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - ID Letterman with:
The impossible dream =
His idea met problems.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Brian De Palma's Bonfire Of The Vanities =
Ban this barren movie as a definite flop.

eq.3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
"The Grapes of Wrath" by John Steinbeck =
"These Taste of Hen-crap" by H. Bowking Jr.

eq.3rd - Mike Keith with:
The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection =
Imbecile Creationists say: "Non-proof! Hateful genes!"

Richard Brodie with:
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno =
Now wish it to John: Get healthy!

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
The "Carry-On" Movie series =
Even more racy histories.

ID Letterman with:
James Hilton's "Lost Horizon" =
This zone hosts no major ill.

Meyran Kraus with:
Edgar Degas' "L'absinthe" =
Heed "Gal In Bar Gets Sad".

Meyran Kraus with:
The Dead Parrot =
A rather odd pet...

Meyran Kraus with:
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno =
That howling white host? Enjoy!

Meyran Kraus with:
"The Italian Stallion" =
'Nail it, Stallone' - A hit!

Marc Macauley with:
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace =
Sweetheart predominates as champion.

Tom Myers with:
Upcoming new theater releases =
One element: huge star wars epic.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Janet Muggeridge with:
'The Sun' apologises to Sophie Rhys-Jones =
I so enjoy a topless photo ruse, Highness!

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Shel Silverstein Dies of Heart Attack =
Hear the fantastic 'kids-level' stories.

3rd - Tom Myers with:
Tone down the violence! =
We do love the innocent!

Dan Fortier with:
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Birthday =
Brainy, hardy sleuth trains O.R. doc.

Alec Gallagher with:
Lawrence Dallaglio =
We deal on a call-girl.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Air raids blew Chinese Embassy =
Hi! Serbian war is messy debacle.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Victorious Barak promises healing =
Labour maverick rising apotheosis.

ID Letterman with:
POWs to be released =
We see BS troop deal?

ID Letterman with:
POWs to be released =
Debate loses power.

Marc Macauley with:
Grand Canyon is relocated on new postage stamp =
Newsman: "Agency dopes stagnate; print 'Colorado'."

Janet Muggeridge with:
Party political broadcast =
Dictatorial yobs' claptrap.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Mike Hatton, congratulations! =
The anagram instinct: look out!

Janet Muggeridge with:
ID Letterman, congratulations! =
Told: "Trust in anagram election."

Tom Myers with:
Vitamin prices =
Reap in victims.

Tom Myers with:
Cinco de Mayo =
I may con coed!

Tom Myers with:
Pilot Richard Ashby =
Hid aircrash by plot.

Graham Perkins with:
Subs score Manchester United goals =
So it's true, bench caused German loss.

Mick Tully with:
Barak defeats Netanyahu =
Beaten, used Arafat hanky.

Mick Tully with:
Palace fury at Sophie picture =
ER pout: I accuse a filthy paper.


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Janet Muggeridge with:
Satin negligees =
Seeing genitals.

eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
I love licking cunts =
Sucking on clit? Vile!

eq.2nd - Ralph Lenton with:
Fellatio sucks =
I fuck a lot less.

Kevin Hale with:
In flagrante delicto =
End tragic fellation.

Earle Jones with:
Paulo Santos =
Tool up an ass.

Tom Myers with:
Sergei Stepashin =
Grease this penis!

Tom Myers with:
Accident's prevention =
Send in contraceptive.

Mick Tully with:
National Masturbation Day =
Satan: "Load in it? Rub anatomy!"


THE SPAM CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
This "Hot", new, technology will also allow you to (realistically) make $2-5,000 in less than 30 days part-time! =
Hey, 'Netwit'! This totally cool anagram shall only cost you 500 dollars. Please mail it within 20-30 weeks.

2nd - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
"Hi lover, I am lonely waiting for you to call me. Let me be your "Dark Secret" for life!" =
Are you crying to offer unholy "vertical-smile" item - or fellatio work, belle dame?

3rd - Larry Brash with:
Home schooling (guitar, computer music) over the Internet =
I contrive to circle more spamming throughout Usenet, eh?


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Richard Brodie with:
"All truth passes through three stages:
first, it is ridiculed;
next it is violently attacked;
finally, it is held to be self-evident."
- Schopenhauer
=
Experts' initial thrust? Voices taunt:
"Stupid! Silly! Childish! Flakey!";
then state: "Forget it! Dangerous! Evil!";
then: "Deft thesis! Clear as hell!"
- Brodie

 

2nd - Mike Keith with:
The wren that rages when I sit
Too close to this mulberry tree
Cannot be told, for all her wit
I hung the gourd she guards from me.
=
The egret fussing in the gloom
Sneers curtly - heh! - to torture me;
That horrid budgie in the room
Now raw, castrated fowl shall be.

 

3rd - Larry Brash with:
"Ya know, I wouldn't mind having an insect flying into my ear. Its tortured screeches and last-minutes-of-its-life buzzing might - for a while - drown out these goddamned voices in my head..."
=
This is a clever new way to get rid of auditory hallucinations. A fizzing bug, in its death throes, stuck down in my own lug hole mends; achieves its aim of ending my torment. Dr. F. N. Eden M.D.

 

Larry Brash with:
The wren that rages when I sit
Too close to this mulberry tree
Cannot be told, for all her wit
I hung the gourd she guards from me.
=
This bird's a bloody mongrel twit,
For me, she'll ne'er care a shit.
The aggressor, the ungrateful cur,
Motto: we then hit to wound her.

 

Richard Brodie with:
The wren that rages when I sit
Too close to this mulberry tree
Cannot be told, for all her wit
I hung the gourd she guards from me.
=
Fowl frees herb? Sh! Ere I wait.
Thy song I'll not accommodate!
Throttle gruesome warbling sound,
There! I thrust her at the ground!

 

Richard Brodie with:
I've enjoyed just about as much of this as I can stand. =
Ha! Subject sad inhumane fun's sadistic joy to a veto!

 

Janet Muggeridge with:
The Winter Olympic Games' Sex, Anagrams and Skiing Triathlon Event =
Ms having sexy shack. Intimate letter-arranging on piste won medal.

 


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
Florence Nightingale =
Angel of the reclining.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Madame Curie =
Me, Radium ace.

3rd - ID Letterman with:
David and Goliath =
And God hit via lad.

Art Day with:
Ollie North =
O, rot in hell.

Alec Gallagher with:
Sophie Rhys-Jones =
Spies enjoy HRH so!

Alec Gallagher with:
Sachin Tendulkar =
And I lack the runs.

Tom Myers with:
Sergei Stepashin =
See ape shit grins.

Graham Perkins with:
Teddy Sherringham =
Ed rams high dry net.

Graham Perkins with:
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer =
Ran... Junkers lose goal.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Palestine Liberation Organization =
Arabs' petition? Legalize their nation? No.

2nd - Tom Myers with:
South Lebanon =
Oh no! Unstable.

3rd - Mike Goldfischer with:
World Wrestling Federation =
"Frown, it is not well-regarded."

Larry Brash with:
Buckingham Palace =
A much capable king.

Larry Brash with:
Windsor Castle =
Wild ancestors.

Marc Macauley with:
Seattle, Washington =
Gates: tons in wealth.

Marc Macauley with:
Boeing =
Big one.


THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY

1st - Marc Macauley with:
No Trespassing =
It nags persons.
Sign not sparse.
Stop near signs.

eq.2nd - Martin Burley with:
Fortean Times: The Journal of Strange Phenomena =
"Jets hunt green man" - some proof of an alien threat?
"Team from Jupiter ran Stonehenge." Not false? No? Ha!
Ghost in photo? No, unreal. Jest earnt man free fame.

eq.2nd - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
The "Carry-On" Movie series =
Even more racy histories.
Horny team is ever cosier.
Hey men: corrosive satire.
Historic! Smear everyone.
Hi! Reverence? My ass! O riot!
Censor vetoes hairy emir.
Aye! Is irreverent smooch.
My satire receives honor.

Larry Brash with:
Florence Nightingale =
Fetching in angel role.
Angel of the reclining.
The groin cleaning elf.

Larry Brash with:
National Masturbation Day =
Onan mania? Total absurdity!
Diary: blatant auto-onanism.
A damnation? It's natural, boy.

Larry Brash with:
Eating disorders =
Sis on a diet, Dr Erg.
I... I'd groan: "Dessert!"
Dessert or I'd gain.
Tired? Dr. agonises.
Dr. rediagnoses it.
Steroid readings.
I disregard notes.
Rest? Go and die, sir!
Grandiose stride.
Diets - dire organs.
Diseased ring rot.
Dieter's gonad, sir.
Gonads is retired.
Tiredness. O, I drag.
Re origin: saddest.
Sad? Digestion err.
It regression, Dad.
Sinister ogre dad.
Go dress daintier.
Restoring? Sad, die.
I ingest. Dr. adores.
Desiring roasted.
Steroid is danger.
Dose is retarding.
Disorder? Git sane!
Go insides, retard.

Richard Brodie with:
World Intellectual Property Organization =
Wrongly uproot Internet, capitalize dollar.
Raze intact property, until no real goodwill.
Politicize e-land? Narrow, rotten, ugly patrol!
Arrogant, ill, power-crazed pollution entity.
Anti-little-guy e-rape; pro-Nazi world control.
Pro-corporation Net-zeal? Well, darn it, guilty!
Ill net word got our planet into a crazy peril.

Art Day with:
Ollie North =
O, rot in hell.
Hitler loon?

Daniel F. Etter with:
Apache helicopters =
Help to crash a piece.
Hi, escalate chopper.
I cease, halt chopper.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Conspiracy theories =
I spot sore chicanery.
Ho! Sinister, coy caper!
Has it in poor secrecy.
Ran psychotic soiree.
Cocaine story perish.
Secret Hanoi copy, sir.
Hey sir? Is Opec Contra?
Hey Castro, I conspire!
I spy on Castro. I cheer.
Yes, pin heroic Castro.
Hi, noisy Castro creep!
Hoy! Secret CIA prison!
CIA hypocrite sensor.
I spy Hearst coercion.
O, try prosaic Chinese.
Pare concise history.
Coerce historian spy.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Misanthropy =
Harmony? Spit!
I, smart phony.
My short pain.
My rash point.
Sap yon mirth.
Hit my parson.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Public relations =
Social blueprint.
I cite urban polls.
Nebular politics.
All but precision.
Prosaic bulletin.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Eating disorders =
In gross diet, dear.
A rigid, "No dessert!"
Dear sinister god...

Dan Fortier with:
Cinco de Mayo Celebration =
Cool can - inebriate comedy.
O, maybe dance in circle too.
I made beer concoction lay.
I reamed bony cocoa client.
I dream yet in cable cocoon.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Victorious Barak promises healing =
Israel pragmatic hero's obvious kin.
Labour maverick rising apotheosis.
Rabin's activism: hero glorious peak.

Kevin Hale with:
In flagrante delicto =
Radical, if not gentle!
Fondling tactile ear.
End tragic fellation.
Ending clitoral fate.
Tragic fellation den.
Rectal if not aligned.

ID Letterman with:
POWs to be released =
We see BS troop deal?
Debate loses power.
See dear? Slobo wept!

Tom Myers with:
Sergei Stepashin =
Grease this penis!
See ape shit grins.

Mick Tully with:
National Masturbation Day =
Banana duty. It is not amoral?
Stint around labia anatomy.
Satan: "Load in it? Rub anatomy!"


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Mike Keith with:
hydrogen + zirconium + tin + oxygen + rhenium + platinum +
tellurium + terbium + nobelium + chromium + iron + cobalt +
carbon + aluminum + ruthenium + silicon + ytterbium + hafnium +
sodium + selenium + cerium + manganese + osmium + uranium +
nickel + praseodymium + erbium + vanadium + thallium + plutonium
=
nitrogen + zinc + rhodium + helium + argon + neptunium +
beryllium + bromine + lutetium + boron + calcium + thorium +
niobium + lanthanum + mercury + fluorine + bismuth + actinium +
silver + cesium + neodymium + magnesium + xenon + samarium +
scandium + europium + berkelium + palladium + antimony + thulium

[This is a "doubly-true anagram" - if you replace each element with its atomic number (= position in the periodic table), there is still equality:]

1 + 40 + 50 + 8 + 75 + 78 +
52 + 65 + 102 + 24 + 26 + 27 +
6 + 13 + 44 + 14 + 70 + 72 +
11 + 34 + 58 + 25 + 76 + 92 +
28 + 59 + 68 + 23 + 81 + 94
=
7 + 30 + 45 + 2 + 18 + 93 +
4 + 35 + 71 + 5 + 20 + 90 +
41 + 57 + 80 + 9 + 83 + 89 +
47 + 55 + 60 + 12 + 54 + 62 +
21 + 63 + 97 + 46 + 51 + 69
[= 1416]

 

2nd - Richard Brodie with:
[Jiddu Krishnamurti, the Indian mystic, was a gentle soul about whom I know next to nothing. He did, however, write some books, and anagrams of the titles seem to reveal something about his philosophical belief system:]

Krishnamurti's Philosophical Belief System
=
He thinks of all my super charm possibilities.
I bless monk's life, charisma, spirit, youth, help.
Crisis? Hint: if humble, seek to apply his morals.
So mark thou, his principle aims bless thy life.

The Awakening of Intelligence
=
Feeling like neat teaching now?
Let one face new agile thinking.
A fine, ethical, genteel knowing.
O! we can take enlightening life.

"Freedom From The Known" alongside "The First and Last Freedom"
=
Think of new gems for the enlisted fold from an adored master.
Seek it fresh now from fond and soft-hearted immortal legend.
Manifold defiant words of strength from meek honest leader.
Lessons taken from the man of merited wonder afford delight.

This Light in Oneself: True Meditation
=
I, enlightenment's author? I oft sit idle.
The sitter finds the ego illumination.
Oh, this ultimate golden infinite rest.
I tune in to mind, fella. Shit is together!

 

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Palestine Liberation Organization =

Arabs' petition? Legalize their nation? No.
Arabs' petition - Legalization?! Not in here!
[Israeli government POV]

The elite: Arab got nation? Zion's in a peril!
"An Arab ghetto in Israel", point Zion elite.
[Israeli right-wing POV]

Arabs' petition - Legalization? Oh, enter in!
[Israeli left-wing POV]

To elite: "No nation? Ha! I rebel in Gaza Strip!"
[Palestinian POV]

Lebanon: "I hate Israeli pig at rotten Zion!"
[Lebanon feeling left out]

 

Mike Keith with:
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.
=
Time flies as an Arrow through miry day new
Not Watch, Sloth, nor Twirling can anything do;
Roll a Verse or Couplet - lo, luv'r, view:
Fruit flies like a Banana, too.

 

Mike Keith with:
rhodium + cesium + holmium + boron + calcium + terbium + aluminum +
potassium + germanium + ruthenium + tin + americium + gallium + iodine +
radon + iridium + francium + nobelium + lanthanum + lutetium + platinum
=
helium + sodium + chromium + cobalt + bromine + curium + magnesium +
samarium + plutonium + titanium + cerium + rhenium + iron + gadolinium +
lead + indium + erbium + californium + tantalum + thallium + neptunium

[This is a "doubly-true anagram" - if you replace each element with its atomic number (= position in the periodic table), there is still equality:]

45 + 55 + 67 + 5 + 20 + 65 + 13 +
19 + 32 + 44 + 50 + 95 + 31 + 53 +
86 + 77 + 87 + 102 + 57 + 71 + 78
=
2 + 11 + 24 + 27 + 35 + 96 + 12 +
62 + 94 + 22 + 58 + 75 + 26 + 64 +
82 + 49 + 68 + 98 + 73 + 81 + 93
[= 1152]

 

Mike Keith with: [Two palindromes which are also anagrams of each other]
A man, a Patel, a vat, a cab.
A LAN, ad, ax, a sad'r, a ban.
A Fay, a la...?
Tell Eta, "Lay a fan".
A bard, a sax, a Dan, a lab,
A cat, a valet - a Panama!

=

A Dan, a Caleb, a lap, a man.
A VAX, a tad, a fall, a bast.
A ray?
A Nate et a "nay".
A rat's a ball, a fad, a tax,
A van, a map, a label - a Canada!

 

Marc Macauley with:
Little gamboling lamb

 


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