Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2002
1st - Joe Fathallah with:
The Rat Race =
That career.
2nd - Allan Morley with:
Conspiracy theorist =
Psychotic, or nastier...
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Mean doings ~
in God's name.
Richard Brodie with:
Far ahead of his time =
Ah, I'm father of ideas.
Joe Fathallah with:
The Headmaster =
He made threats.
Joe Fathallah with:
Evilness ~
in selves.
Richard Grantham with:
Easier said than done =
One's neat idea is hard.
Richard Grantham with:
A good man is hard to find =
Dashing? No, I am fat or odd!
Adrian Hickford with:
Voting is open =
Give points, no?
Jaybur with:
Falling house prices =
Purchase is lifelong.
Jaybur with:
The orthodontic surgeon =
Teeth doctoring honours.
Jaybur with:
Fierce riots spread =
Recipe for disaster.
Jaybur with:
The letters editor =
Delete this retort!
Jaybur with:
Enough strife =
Rue one's fight.
Jaybur with:
The military funeral =
Army life: then ritual.
Meyran Kraus with:
Under a magic spell =
Calm during a sleep.
Meyran Kraus with:
The road to hell is paved with good intentions =
No, then - light, positive ideas do *not* hold water.
Allan Morley with:
Shampoo and conditioner =
Tonic on one's damp hairdo.
Santi Spadaro with:
Evil side ~
is veiled.
eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Actress Pamela Anderson =
Neat rear, and chest's so ample!
eq.1st - Allan Morley with:
The Death Star =
See that, Darth?
3rd - Jaybur with:
Alfred Lord Tennyson's 'The Lady of Shalott' =
Float then, for noted story shall end sadly.
Larry Brash with:
A funny thing happened on the way to the Forum =
When you find the top anagram then type, "Oh, fun!"
Joe Fathallah with:
The film "Batman and Robin" =
I'm the Flatman and Ribbon.
Richard Grantham with:
Siegfried and Tristan Farnon =
For attending darn Friesians.
Adrian Hickford with:
The Rock, posing in ~
"The Scorpion King".
Adrian Hickford with:
Actor Christopher Timothy =
Shit-hot Mr Herriot copycat.
Jaybur with:
The entertainer M'sieu Marcel Marceau =
Clue: man mimes in a true theatre career.
Meyran Kraus with:
Watty Piper's 'The Little Engine That Could' =
Will & gritty attitude can help on the steep!
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Rail safety =
Fairy tales.
2nd - Allan Morley with:
Presidential election =
I declare it is not Le Pen.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The US Avoided Strong 'September Eleven' Clues =
So it seems slaughter could've been prevented.
Larry Brash with:
Pakistani President General Pervez Musharraf =
Events planned: Kashmir is far up a greater prize.
Jaybur with:
The Melissa Computer Virus =
US prosecute a vile Mr Smith.
1st - Jaybur with:
'Nevermore' painted by Paul Gauguin =
Giving one nude beauty a plump rear!
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Simultaneous =
Mutual noises.
eq.3rd - Richard Grantham with:
The Bush administration =
Shit brain - mouth instead.
eq.3rd - Matjaz Pihler with:
Aphrodisiac... ~
or 'I paid cash'.
Joe Fathallah with:
Impoliteness =
I molest penis.
Meyran Kraus with:
She's a sight for sore eyes =
Yes, her ass soothes grief!
Santi Spadaro with:
Beauty contest =
A coy teen's butt.
1st - Allan Morley with:
Are YOU PREPARED for a TERRORIST ATTACK?
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Who can you turn to?
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If you do not know, you are not alone!
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The Survival Manual contains information taken directly from the Military's Nuclear Biological Chemical Training Manual, THE Manual used to teach military personnel how to prepare, prevent, identify, protect against and survive an attack.
Developed by BioChem Survival Systems and containing information you can understand in non-military terminology.
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Call 113-6780
=
COULD YOU SURVIVE A SPAM ATTACK?
Unwanted and uninvited electronic circulars are not only very wearisome, monotonous, often hideous, inane and highly annoying, but commonly overload and ruin your computer. Thus, you need the SPAM SURVIVAL MANUAL!
1. Take a note of each annoying violation.
2. Attempt to ask each ISP to kindly inactivate each weak-minded,
unmannerly irritant's account.
3. Note the total futility of the above.
4. Phone your attorney.
5. Sulk.
6. Wildly throw random articles across the room.
7. Cut up your computer's modem or cable.
8. Wantonly shatter your monitor with a hatchet, or a small cannon
if available.
9. Last, annihilate your hard drive by playing frisbee with it.
10. You are now totally SPAM FREE, guaranteed!
2nd - Meyran Kraus with: [A troll post]
Shit i'm getting way to old and fat and slow in my older years
i tried to sneak a quickie in before my old man came home and
the friend i was with gave up and left because it takes me so
long to get undressed and to get into a position that he can get
his dink into me. Ya know having ah gut makes it hard to get laid
cause you have to lay on your side with ah leg up over your head
or bend your fat guy over a chair and have the guy use both hands
to lift your ass up so he can find ah wet hole to stick it in
I've been ass fucked more times then pussy fucked because it was
the first hole they could find thanks to not being able to wipe
my ass clean after taking a shit helps.
=
As a way to demystify the above, view this guide of Freud to
the Anal Stage:
"So, as the kids get acquainted with the sphincter, they
stop sucking thumbs and move on to fumbling poo. The kids begin
to notice the innate fun and agony associated with a bowel movement.
They will then run amok and poo around the house day after day
like dogs, unless taught differently.
However, if the parents are too easy and fail to teach society's
rules about poo control, the kid, I assume, will derive a naughty
delight from any ass-drainage in the future, which may induce
a sick, sadistic behavior and a hideous geekiness, that can someday
generate a kinky, bum-poking troll."
3rd - Joe Fathallah with:
You are no doubt asking "What is this inquiry doing on this
news group, which has nothing to do with sex?"
But this is precisely why this type of news group was chosen for this scientific investigation. We want to gather information from ordinary males who are not overly preoccupied with sex, be it heterosexual, homosexual, or pedosexual. We want to get, as much as is possible, a world wide, longitudinal, and to some degree cross cultural set of data. So we ask your open minded consideration of our request, and we ask the indulgence of your webmaster in facilitating this research project by allowing this post to remain.
If you are male, and would like to contribute to this research please go to:
http://shfri.addr.com/w2/wae.html
Thank you for contributing to the advancement of scientific knowledge about the sexuality of boys.
=
So, nitwit maniac fool, do I understand now or do I not? You are looking for "ordinary males who are not overly preoccupied with sex", but you post this message on *this* newsgroup?! You are a fat anal shithead if you think that we, who insist on using such sexual words in our work, are not a totally sex obsessed lot! Words like fuck, shit, cunt, bitch, anal - sex, tosser, laid, screw, threesome, panties, poof and blowjob! If I can recommend reading the rude section of the archives at www.anagrammy.com, which until quite recently were fed by this group (not now though). For example, here are 2 masterpieces of wit to show. One by Lardy....
Clit - piercing = Clip it, cringe!
Another quite sexual one by the great Mey K....
Tight blouse = Oh, tits bulge!
Wow, cool!
Get the picture, sad naive idiot? Afraid now, sod? I insist doing this stuff is not, as often thought, a sad pastime!
Adrian Hickford with:
Build your dream home or business on these beautiful Islands far
from the noise, crowds and terror of the big city BUT enjoy the
conveniences of a city. Beautiful beaches, beautiful people and
much more
Contact: kitten54@sympatico.ca
=
Utopia is wicked! But... come to Bombay, India!
I'm famously full of casteless, unhappy but amicable red-faced
ghetto inhabitants, forced to house under just one very nice roof:
brother, sister, mother, father, nan, uncle, cousin, niece, etc.
Bye!
Pedt Scragg with:
Tired of painful cramps?
Tired of constant abdominal pain from digestion?
Tired of losing focus, or of oversleeping?
You can wake up to the news of herbal supplements,
www.oldworldherbs.com
We have herbal supplements for aqll walks of life:
For Women, we have an ANTI-PMS tincture to help with those painful times of the month,
For Buisness-people, for studnets, for those (like me) that have to work late, we have a tincture to help you REMEBER what day of the week it is.
And lastly for Everybody in the united states, we have a capsuled formula to aid in elimination. 90% of ALL diseases start in the bowel this is a proven fact!
Your health is like your car, wait to long to get schedualed maintenance, and you are looking at a massive repair bill, so save your pocketbook from your doctor, and come and see us!
www.oldworldherbs.com
null
=
A whole new outlook on life - your welfare in your own hands!
Yes! Doctor Quack's Wonderful Side Cleansing Powder (90% decaffeinated) will appear to immediately cure diagnosed popular illness pathogens that somehow attempt to take people over.
No illness? No problem! We can find an illness for you first that it will cure - from weak halitosis to baby's flatulent bottom or a knee ganglion. We have an ample supply of even these handicaps.
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Subscribe to our list - have weekly updates.
Don't hesitate. Order this vital and profitable remedy now from this advertisement.
Pedt Scragg with:
If this message is off-topic for this group please stop reading
now.
I opologize for any miss-postings.
Hello everyone. I'd like to invite you to our brand new IRC server. The stats are as follows:
Birth Date: Fri May 10 2002 at 02:40:59 PDT, compile # 1 On-line since Fri May 24 15:14:41 2002 ReleaseID (unrealircd[draconic(961323751/000)])
It is equipped with all the standard IRC services such as ChanServ,
NickServ, Memoserv, etc.
The server is run by a friend of mine who set it up after several
server changes and misc crap with IRCops.
The website, www.darkfalls.net is being worked on right now and
should be up soon.
Everyone of every origin is welcome to join us on irc.darkfalls.net port 6667. But please, if you plan on flooding/complaining about spam/etc don't bother coming. You come of your own free will. No complaining please.
In mIRC type /server irc.DarkFalls.net 6667
Or type /server irc.DarkFalls.com 6667
If you don't have mIRC click here.
=
Wow! I'm a low-brain wretched pillock for prolifically and remorselessly spamming 249,522,312 people willy-nilly with a very rubbish request that I really don't want 249,522,311 clever people reading if rabidly dispossessed against either IRC:6667 or my ranting to promote services cynics do not like to have shoved in their faces as I spew over Usenet, voiding it out of the rear orifice, by not checking if my crap posting is really wanted in alt.anagrams or elsewhere.
If you wish to visit and moan about me before I lose the relevant account in 4,674 seconds from now, then be warned like the other 61,761,000 damn curt, vitriolic correspondents and cads, you can go take proverbial running jumps or multiple hikes off a few cliffs as I have interest approaching zero (0.0000001516) to see profuse, discommodious, concurrent crescendos of uncivil, miffed, oppressive remarks flooding IRC:6667 servers for wrecking purposes.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
(This e-mail was distributed on the internet after the September
Eleven events)
My family owns an ambulance service in Brooklyn NY. Midwood Ambulance if anyone knows it. Anyway, my uncles were at "Ground Zero" during the attack to help the victims. They donated their time to help with this crisis as many New Yorkers did. A great deal of people were in shock from the devastation. As many of you know, shock victims are supposed to drink a lot of water. My uncle went to the Starbucks down the street to get bottles of water for the victims he was treating. Can you believe they actually charged him for it!! He paid the $130 for 3 cases of bottled water out of his own pocket. Now, I would think that in a crisis such as this, vendors in the area would be more than happy to lend a little help by donating water. Well, not Starbucks! As if this country hasn't given them enough money! Anyway, the point of this story wasn't to glorify my uncle's actions but to suggest a boycott on Starbucks. Now, I love Frappaccinos as much as anyone, but any company that would try to make a profit off of a crisis like this doesn't deserve the American public's hard earned money. Please forward this e-mail to any one you know and encourage them to do the same.
Thank you!
=
(This signed letter was sent to 'The Papacy')
Kind and Loving Pope,
I'm a Roman Catholic Altar Boy from a Southern Catholic town.
Well, for starters, I'm a great fan, and you have my everlasting
love, but love doesn't cut it for me ever since last April. No
offence, but the new priest you sent here is total crap.
My friend Wayne got two bucks from him. I saw it! He put Wayne's
hands in his own front pockets and trembled or whatever...
*Two bucks*! I never got so much as a *cent*!
Two days later Wayne told me the priest bought him a toy Action
Truck for another little round. God Almighty, I want nice toys
too! I saw a kickass bunny yesterday but mom says it costs a lot
so we can't buy it.
Then I asked the priest if I can get a new toy too, and he said
my hands were unclean! Okay, so I'm often sick with the flu; My
nose's sort of runny and *once in a while* I wipe it with the
back of my hand. So what? Is sneezing a reason to blow me off?
That's plain cruel.
Now I know he likes touching my butt after hymns, and the other
day he offered me to 'kneel and devour his potency' (whatever
that meant), but I prefer the pocket-game and a toy. So could
you please teach our priest to behave? Thanks in advance.
Yours truly,
Tommy Mendes
P.S. Holy wine is cool, but 'Body of Christ' tastes like diarrhea.
2nd - Jaybur with:
I wandered lonely as a cloud
3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Le Pen's gracious concession speech:
"This election was a stinging defeat for hope in France. Chirac's win was an equivocal victory gained by the Soviet method, with the coordination of all the social, political, economic, media forces. I am patient, and will not have to wait long to see the allies in this morbid coalition tear themselves apart."
=
A typical American losing candidate's predictable and insincere load of poo:
"My opponent has won. He is the choice which we have to live with. I, a big loser, choose to smooth over artificial ideological differences, criticism, etc. that mean squat. We now move as total allies in a spirit of uniting the nation." (at least till the Congress convenes!)
Larry Brash with:
Macbeth, II,
ii, 36-41, anagrammed into a situation in which LB once used it.
Richard Grantham with: [A saying from the Indian mystic, Krishnamurti]
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly
sick society. =
So joy due to patient brotherhood ceases if my kin's all deceitful
outlaws.
Jaybur with:
A paragraph composed by
Samuel Foote to test the actor Charles Macklin's claim that he could memorize anything.
Meyran Kraus with:
"A word, phrase, or sentence formed from another by rearranging
its letters" =
Oh, anagram in order to demonstrate Webster's entry... Self-referring?
Oh, crap!
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Chairman Gates =
Mega-rich Satan.
2nd - Allan Morley with:
George Bush and Vladimir Putin =
Brave, triumphing duo sign deal.
3rd - Santi Spadaro with:
Duke Ellington ~
liked long tune.
Jaybur with:
Mister Andre Agassi =
I'm starring as a seed!
Jaybur with:
Mr Andrew Peter Motion =
Modern man: poet/writer.
Jaybur with:
The Renaissance artist Raphael =
He's a class painter in the art era.
Mara with: [A landscape artist]
P. Y. Skietams =
Misty peaks.
1st - Larry Brash with:
Detoxification and Rehabilitation Centre =
I coax another infantile beer addict into it.
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
The People's Republic of China =
Police happen to crush belief.
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Muscovites =
Soviet scum.
Joe Fathallah with:
The DSA = [Driving Standards Agency]
Deaths.
Jaybur with:
Trinity College of Music, London =
Tunes filling one cold city room.
Jaybur with:
The British Dental Association =
Oh, bad teeth: it's national crisis.
Allan Morley with:
The Microsoft Corporation =
Moron's choice, to profit rat.
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Shakespeare's 102nd
sonnet, anagrammed into a lipogrammatic (W-less) rebuttal decorated with its dedicatee's initials, WH.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Oscar Wilde's 'Madonna Mia', anagrammed into a paraphrase which is also
an acrostic on the author's name. Also, reading down the second-last words of each line reveals a fitting quote (also by Wilde).
3rd - Allan Morley with:
From the
Irish, by Ian Duhig
Joe Fathallah with:
I am a pretty little Dutch girl,
As pretty as I can be.
And all the boys in the neighbourhood
Are crazy over me!
=
One day an altar boy bravely
Pleaded to scratch my butt.
See razor hair, precollege git?!
I hit him in the nuts!
Joe Fathallah with:
International politics
=
Clinton in a patriot's lie.
Intern spoilt a lot in CIA.
Iran on topical lie stint.
Titanic plots on airline.
Israel in on titanic plot.
Intentional liars' topic.
Intolerant politicians.
Coalition: Instant peril.
Capitalist, or into Lenin?
Richard Grantham with:
The Seven Deadly Sins
=
Envy is endless death. [envy]
Vain (shyness deleted). [vanity]
Evenly hidden assets. [avarice]
Deny evils hate sends. [anger]
Even thy sad idleness. [sloth]
Veins held nasty seed. [lust]
Eleven dishes and sty. [gluttony]
Meyran Kraus with:
William Blake:
The Clod and the Pebble