Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives> 2005
1st - Larry Brash with:
Driving under the influence of alcohol =
On tour in a vehicle drenched full of gin.
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Ancient armour on ~
a Roman Centurion.
3rd - David Bourke with:
Colombian creep =
Cocaine problem.
aussie battler with:
A shot in the arm =
That's heroin, Ma.
aussie battler with:
Madhouses ~
do us shame.
aussie battler with:
Marooned =
Near doom.
aussie battler with:
Cessna pilot ~
lost in space.
Larry Brash with:
A portion of chips with salt and vinegar =
I want no part of this English crap. Avoid!
Tony Crafter with:
Men who dress as ladies =
Shameless and weirdos.
Tony Crafter with:
Being honest =
Benign ethos.
Tony Crafter with:
Tony Blair's image =
I'm a lying boaster.
Tony Crafter with:
Golden-brown? =
Wrong! Blonde!
Ellie Dent with:
Environmental disasters, ~
and mess is NOT irrelevant.
Meyran Kraus with:
ABM =
Bam!
Meyran Kraus with:
Tornado Shelter
Hotel and Resort.
Meyran Kraus with:
Rehab centers =
The beer narcs.
Scott Gardner with:
IED =
Die!
Toby Gottfried with:
Lack of originality =
Cry, "Look, I lift again!"
Dean Mayer with:
I'm as honest as the day is long =
Has to say he's not misleading.
Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Lotion =
Not oil.
Rick Rothstein with:
A licensed driver ~
can deliver rides.
Rick Rothstein with:
Environmental disaster =
Never mind as it's not real.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Adult Education Classes =
I see usual clots can't add.
View with:
Confessional =
On scale of sin.
James H. Young with:
USB =
Bus.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Mike Newell's 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' =
Enthralling film, yet we prefer to read the books!
2nd - Larry Brash with:
"Genius is born - not paid" (Oscar Wilde) =
A sociable wit drudges on in prison.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Madonna reverts to her raunchy image =
More men can adore this naughty raver.
David Bourke with:
Male touch attracts ~
the actor Matt Lucas.
Ellie Dent with:
Keats: 'Ode to a Nightingale' =
I take note: a song, a delight!
Scott Gardner with:
iTune player'll protect ~
intellectual property?
Toby Gottfried with:
Paul McCartney's 'Let It Be' =
Beatle lyric can tempt us.
David A. Green with:
'The Rise of the Indian Rope Trick' by Peter Lamont =
Fakir climbed an eternity into the troposphere.
Meyran Kraus with:
The rap artist 'Fifty Cent' =
A stiff price, that. Try ten.
Paul Pan with:
The Beatles' 'Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da' =
I hate bad, obsolete ballad!
Christopher Sturdy with:
Ten Green Bottles Standing on the Wall =
ban idle, gentle songs that won't relent.
View with:
Actress Maria Schneider =
Dame is a rich screen star.
1st - View with:
Riots in French capital =
Conflict in Paris heart.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Vatican: "No gay priests!" =
It gets a pansy vicar? No!
eq.3rd - Linda Garner with:
George Bush's bird flu pandemic plan=
Grip on a Bible, pledge funds, charm us.
eq.3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Macy's Parade Disaster: Balloon Falls, Hits Two =
"Well", passers-by admit, "the scandal's a lot of hot air".
David Bourke with:
Anthony Charles Lynton Blair's style of leadership =
Bossy, tyrannic plan. He's really Adolf Hitler, honest!
David Bourke with:
Tony Blair's days are numbered =
Labour reds bin "yesterday man".
Tony Crafter with:
Most Americans say Bush is not honest =
Many a home can't trust his obsessions.
Tony Crafter with:
Gary Glitter is arrested in Vietnam =
"I'm dirty star...alert teenage virgins!"
Toby Gottfried with:
The United States Marine Corps =
President can use them at riots ?
Rick Rothstein with:
The Seabourn Spirit =
Pirates botherin' us.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Pirates rob us in ~
Seabourn Spirit.
View with:
The French riots =
Torch, then fires.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The US comedian Seinfeld =
He's often induced a smile.
2nd - Linda Garner with:
Mark Twain, Samuel Langhorne Clemens =
All Americans knew gentleman's humor.
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
Eisenhower =
See hero win.
David Bourke with:
The actress Maria Schneider =
A dream star...her chest is nice!
Larry Brash with:
The late George Best =
Gee, got the last beer.
Tony Crafter with:
Iosif Vissarionovich Stalin =
Rash visions of civilisation.
Scott Gardner with:
Angela Dorothea Merkel =
Look -- a German, the leader!
Toby Gottfried with:
The composer Leonard Bernstein's ~
been so prominent, led orchestras.
Meyran Kraus with:
William Gates the Third =
I'm wealthiest lad, right?
View with:
French composer Claude Achille Debussy =
A bunch of classic cheery model preludes.
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
The National Geographic Society =
A great lion photo is eye-catching.
2nd - Dean Mayer with:
The Bangladeshi =
He bad at English.
3rd - Paul Pan with:
United States of America =
I, Tom Cruise, defeat Satan.
aussie battler with:
Cavalier =
A vile car?
David Bourke with:
Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation Company =
Dover to Calais: I'm an annoying, unpleasant trip. Amen.
Tony Crafter with:
The Star of Africa diamond =
Oh, it's a dream I can't afford!
Tony Crafter with:
Amstel lager =
A great smell!
Tony Crafter with:
The Voluntary Euthanasia Society =
A hasty route to Heaven? It is lunacy!
Scott Gardner with:
Concord, New Hampshire =
Damp here; chronic snow.
Toby Gottfried with:
Rhodesian Ridgeback =
I heard nice dog's bark.
David A. Green with:
The National Association of Paper Merchants =
Oh no! This meant an acacia rainforest topples!
Meyran Kraus with:
The Marcel Marceau Foundation =
Natural for each mute comedian.
Don Rogers with:
Colgate University =
Strict Ivy League ? No.
Christopher Sturdy with:
British Antarctic Survey =
vast terrain's icy but rich.
View with:
Yale University =
Entirely USA Ivy.
1st - Tony Crafter with:
New movie: 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe' =
Worthwhile to see it on a whim, for it can enchant bored children. Heaven!
2nd - David A. Green with:
'Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph' by Thomas Edward Lawrence =
Will whip my humped camels onwards over soft Arabian desert.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
"On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life" =
No race'll be superior if not strong, clever or even fast enough? He is lying! I offer the United States of America as proof.
David Bourke with:
"There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded." The late Diana, Princess of Wales. =
Her retribution's sweet indeed: Windsor parasite gets that horse-face whore Camilla as a wife.
David Bourke with:
The Manchester United and Northern Ireland footballer George Best =
Legend inert on deathbed. "Rather thin Belfast rogue!", coroner laments.
David Bourke with:
The late former Manchester United and Northern Ireland footballer George Best =
Errant Ulsterman, real romancer, or the "Fifth Beatle", died London. "Go get beers", then!
Larry Brash with:
Military Compensation and Rehabilitation Services =
So poor veteran cheats in an interim disability claim?
Tony Crafter with:
Is it only a matter of time before Mr Bush declares war on Iran? =
Nod: Yes, if war-bombs eliminate a threat of nuclear terrorism.
Ellie Dent with:
"There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded." The late Diana, Princess of Wales =
We sense defeat: see her in a trap, a trio, with ties to a Duchess of Cornwall admirer with big ears.
Toby Gottfried with:
Quagmire: a soft wet area of low-lying land that sinks underfoot. =
Iraqmire: Fool/flunky wages this fatal war, and, no, doesn't get out.
1st - Ellie Dent with:
Element: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: 210
Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature but easily gets bent out of shape. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Very difficult to find a pure sample, therefore proving it's really rare. Ageing ones are unable to conduct electricity as easily as the young and fresher.
Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo whenever it can. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive whenever mixed with K(i)d for any prolonged period of time
Usage: None really, except methane production. Good samples produce an amazingly large quantity.
Caution: Warning! In the absence of Wo, this element will decompose rapidly and begin to smell.
=
Element: WOMAN
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: 120
Physical Properties: Rounded in form. Quite compact. Boils at nothing. May freeze anytime. Melts whenever treated properly. Markedly bitter if not used well.
Chemical Properties: Very active. Appears to possess strong affinity to metals such as gold, and precious stones. Violent if left alone. Seems able to absorb a huge amount of exotic food. Specimen may turn a little green when placed beside a finer one. Ages rapidly.
Usage: Highly ornamental. Extremely good catalyst for rapid disintegration of wealth. Indeed, probably the world's most powerful income reducing agent yet known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. Trust me.
2nd - Larry Brash with:
John is getting married to the girl of his dreams, Wendy. He decides to surprise her with a very special wedding present. His gift is to have a tattoo... her name on his penis.
John goes off to a tattooist, who explains that this might be a bit painful and that he can only undertake this if John has an erection. He nervously agrees to go ahead, as he is so much in love with Wendy. He takes the pain and soon it is done, with "WENDY" on the shaft of his male member.
After his penis is flaccid, John notices that he can see just the first letter of her name, a "W", and last letter, a "Y", as the middle letters are in the folds of his skin.
=
John and his bride go on their honeymoon to the West Indies.
They get off the plane at Jamaica. John's in dire need of the toilet. When he's at the urinal to relieve himself, this fit, six-feet-three, West Indian fellow enters and starts to urinate.
John, having heard it said that black men are "large chaps", looks down and gasps as he sees that the other man has "W" and "Y" on his shaft.
He nervously addresses the chap,
"The tattoo...it's like mine! I'd guess...perhaps your girl's Wendy too, right?", stretching his penis to show him it.
"Ah no, mon! See - it's different. If it's stiff, it's:
WELCOME TO THE REPUBLIC OF JAMAICA AND HAVE A NICE DAY!"
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
FAMOUS DIAMONDS
The Centenary Diamond
The Star of Africa Diamond
The Idol's Eye Diamond
The Sansy Diamond
The Hortensia Diamond
The Cullinan Diamond
The Excelsior Diamond
The Koh-I-Noor Diamond
The Victoria Diamond
The Paragon Diamond
The Blue Magic Diamond=
My dream,
A dream
I couldn't afford,
Hid a deadly ambition ...
Diamonds
So sad, this modest man.
I had innocence, hope ...
No money.
No
Diamonds
Utter intoxication!
Oh, I cherished them!
Utter addiction!
Oh, I ... killed for them!
Diamonds.
Love and Hate
Go hand-in-hand.
A gem
A tear
A diamond.
Meyran Kraus with:
November Anagrammy Awards
These will be run on another host server to avoid the last two months' problems.
Except for the different URL, you will not notice any difference.
The Leaders Board will also be on that server.
=
BTW, note the reply of that server host to my letters:
"Hello, Lenny Brots! We value this information! However, we'd first recommend an upgrade, available here for an extra sum of one newborn child.
Toodles,
Real Bastards Inc."
1st - James H. Young with:
Comparisions
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
JERUSALEM
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
An Austrian Army
Meyran Kraus with:
The Aristocrats
View with:
Ringed with the azure world, he stands.
1st - Paul Pan with:
A fag + a fairy =
A gay affair.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
She's a great lay =
Easy shag alert.
3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
The United States Marine Corps =
A prostitute's dream? Ten inches!
aussie battler with:
It's pure heck ~
up shit creek.
David Bourke with:
The book "I'm With The Band" by Pamela Des Barres =
A mad, pretty bimbo airhead, the knobs she blew!
David Bourke with:
The adult movie fluffers =
Stiff mouthful revealed.
David Bourke with:
The David Beckham Academy =
Team made by chav dickhead
Tony Crafter with:
Large dicks ~
lack ridges!
Tony Crafter with:
Hugh Marston Hefner - founder of Playboy =
Ah! He made off to prong bunny's furry hole!
Adrian Hickford with:
He always comes first =
Screws mate oafishly.
Meyran Kraus with:
Sperm donations =
It's poor men's DNA.
Paul Pan with:
The adult movie fluffers ~
fellate or muff-dive thus...
Rick Rothstein with:
The National Geographic Society =
Yeah, ace tits on a photogenic girl.
View with:
Chemical toilets ~
melt coeliac shit.