Complete list of nominations for December, 2005

DECEMBER 2005 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards >Nomination Archives > 2005

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sir Elton's big day =
Not by a girl's side...

2nd - Don Rogers with:
Ariel Sharon hospitalized =
A leadership is horizontal.

3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
Times Square, New York City =
It quite rocks my New Year's.

David Bourke with:
Best final ~
in Belfast.

David Bourke with:
Hertfordshire Oil Storage Terminal =
All-night fire. Order arose: "Smother it!"

David Bourke with:
The death row prisoner Stanley 'Tookie' Williams =
We ask Arnie, the pitiless Hollywood "Terminator".

Larry Brash with:
The late US comedian Richard Pryor =
Mainly a report: his death occurred.

Tony Crafter with:
American Air Marshals kill passenger =
Hell-raiser slain. Rampager's a sick man.

Tony Crafter with:
American Air Marshals shoot passenger =
Maniac has terror rampages, so he's slain.

Tony Crafter with:
Sir Reginald Kenneth Dwight and David Furnish =
The wrinkled-diva hand had finger in stud's ring.

Linda Garner with:
Cost of living increase =
Losers facing eviction.

Rick Rothstein with:
The late US comedian Richard Pryor =
Oh dear, typical trend is race humor.

View with:
Scores of whales beached in New Zealand =
Woe when obese crazed 'sea - fish' clan land.

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
"I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." Mark Twain =
"Whereas the others were all, thankfully, the imprudence of my phobic, misbehaving imagination."

2nd - Larry Brash with:
It provokes the desire but it takes away the performance =
Risk's fair that we've had too many beers to keep it up erect.

3rd - David Bourke with:
The new leader of the Conservative Party, David William Donald Cameron =
Onward, after Michael Howard's malevolence, deviation, and petty drivel!

David Bourke with:
The funeral service of George Best, at Stormont Castle on Saturday =
So, Belfast's to grieve as one for late Manchester Utd. / country great.

David Bourke with:
The twenty-fifth anniversary of the assassination of the singer John Lennon by Mark Chapman =
This shifty hanger-on "fan" shot Beatle in Manhattan, New York. Tiny Jap screams: "Oh no! Never!" {sniff}

Tony Crafter with:
The new Conservative Party Leader David William Donald Cameron =
Can raw lad mend vital Tory election hopes and revive a wild dream?

David A. Green with:
Joyce Lankester Brisley's "The Adventures of Milly-Molly-Mandy" =
Children value and flatly enjoy my book's timeless, merry style.

Meyran Kraus with:
"A little in one's own pocket is better than much in another man's purse." (Miguel de Cervantes) =
"The line is nice, but thanks to computer clients and personal revenue, I'm Other Man." (W. Gates)

Don Rogers with:
Alan Shepard, Scott Carpenter, John Glenn, Deke Slayton, Wally Schirra, Gordon Cooper, Gus Grissom =
Project Mercury was responding to national rocket challenge. Sons had danger... sharp loss... glory!

Chris Sturdy with:
According to astrology, what star sign is a person born on December the twenty fifth? =
Capricorn.
Now some fab, new Trinity's Father (God), Son (Christ) and... gets better... Holy Goat!

James H. Young with:
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger; comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks. =
While irony is done when a few unlikely parodying gems fed by some true comedian contrast.

THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Christmas movie 'It's A Wonderful Life' =
Festive old film hit is sure to charm anew.

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
"It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas." =
Tell Santa, "Come in! Bring those gifts I like!"

3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Twelve Days of Christmas ~
Left my saved cash with store.

David Bourke with:
Christmas over-eating =
Heart-scares, vomiting.

Larry Brash with:
After the twelfth day of Christmas, I am going to send my true love: =
Feast day gift voucher for memory testing that'll show dementia.

Tony Crafter with:
A Dickensian Christmas =

Ellie Dent with:
The Three Kings, aka Magi, Wise Men =
A sign: we make a night trek... see HIM.

Joe Fathallah with:
Christmas food =
Has discomfort.

Scott Gardner with:
Merry Saint Nicholas =
In early on Christmas.

Linda Garner with:
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire=
an' hints upon since forgotten eras.

Meyran Kraus with:
Christmas sales =
Rats! I'm cashless!
A charismatic kindness.

Meyran Kraus with:
"Away in a manger, no crib for His bed" =
I cheer on a baby drowsing in a farm.

Meyran Kraus with:
Bethlehem Palestinians on Christmas Eve =
A solemn event in the Messiah's birthplace.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Twelve Days of Christmas =
Has feast, vomits wretchedly.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Twelve Days of Christmas =
They mass feed TV with carols.

Don Rogers with:
The Wise Men: Melchior, Gaspar, and Balthazar =
What able, learned stargazers champion Him!

Don Rogers with:
The gifts of the Wise men: Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh =
Asked them, "Sent thy offerings for new child in manger?"

Chris Sturdy with:
The Awardmaster's challenge is ~
a sweet Christmas Herald Angel!

View with:
The true meaning of Christmas =
Cherish a great moment, it's fun!

THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT
by
Dylan Marlais Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

=

'Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night' is a great lyric work by Dylan Thomas, dedicated to his dying father.

Writing in the 'villanelle' form, (nineteen lines/two end-rhymes)Thomas sees Night as a metaphor for Death; and with the cry, 'Do not go gentle into that good night', he's urging, 'Hang on to life, and when death's edging near, go to that edge fighting and raging.'

'Glum'Dylan should not be confused, though, with Bob Dylan. The latter is a Yankee singer who also gigged his way to fame writing stuff that nobody could understand. Yet God gave the enigmatic Yank a voice like a gorilla gagging on a goose-egg and, where it's a hot bet that Bob's thoughts are drug-enlightened, the Welsh hothead relied on the boozy alternative to heighten his mighty rhetoric - an 'alternative' that regrettably dragged him, raging and groggy, 'into that good night' long before he was ready to go.

He died, aged thirty-nine.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:

[Bush Teleconference With Soldiers Staged 10/13/05
WASHINGTON - It was billed as a conversation with U.S. troops, but the questions President Bush asked on a teleconference call Thursday were choreographed to match his goals for the war in Iraq and Saturday's vote on a new Iraqi constitution. "This is an important time," Allison Barber, deputy assistant defense secretary, said, coaching the soldiers before Bush arrived. "The president is looking forward to having just a conversation with you."]

Here's a small segment from the beginning of the program:

The President: Captain Kennedy?
Captain Kennedy: Yes, Mr. President.
The President: Well, it's good to see you. Thanks. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to allow me to visit with you a little bit. I've got some questions for you here in a minute, but I do want to share some thoughts with you. First, I want to thank the members of the 42nd Infantry Division and Task Force Liberty for serving our country with such distinction and honor. I want you to know that the mission you are on is vital to achieving peace and to protecting America. One of my most solemn duties, a duty that you have joined me on, is to protect the American people.

=

The rehearsal

Ms. Barber: Nice to see you, gentlemen. Prior to your discussion with the president, I want to instruct you succinctly
so the conversation won't flop; however, if anyone inquires in regard to the instructions, you'd have to pretend you've
never heard any of them.
G.W.: (chuckles) Funny color, that khaki. It sounds like a dirty joke.
Ms. Barber (sighs): And that, too. Do you have any questions so far?
G.W.: Would we also be airing the rehearsal, auntie?
Ms. Barber: Actually, I meant the troops, Mr. President.
Captain Smith: I've got one. Is it alright to mention last night's mission?
Ms. Barber: Not if it's too gory. Unless it's positive gore. I understand that one of you shined yesterday.
Captain Kennedy: That was me. I had to shoot a few Iraqis that came to the camp with a couple of odd-looking fruits.
And I'd do it again, too. I'd stop at nothing for the just cause of the US of A, ma'am.
Ms. Barber: Wonderful conviction. If it's alright with everyone, I'd like Captain Kennedy to be the spokesman. Now,
let's have a little test. Sir?
G.W.: (squints) Damn these tiny cue-cards. Where's that prompter?
Ms. Barber: I need an hour to set it up-
G.W.: Neato. Off you go, soldierinos. (switches the channel on the video screen) It's Nintendo time.

3rd - David Bourke with:
(after Larry Brash)
John is getting married to the girl of his dreams, Wendy. He decides to
surprise her with a very special wedding present. His gift is to have a
tattoo... her name on his penis.

John goes off to a tattooist, who explains that this might be a bit painful
and that he can only undertake this if John has an erection. He nervously
agrees to go ahead, as he is so much in love with Wendy. He takes the
pain and soon it is done, with "WENDY" on the shaft of his male member.

After his penis is flaccid, John notices that he can see just the first letter
of her name, a "W", and last letter, a "Y", as the middle letters are in the
folds of his skin.

=

John and his bride go on their honeymoon to the West Indies.
They get off the plane at Jamaica. John's in dire need of the
toilet. When he's at the urinal to relieve himself, this fit,
six-feet-three, West Indian fellow enters and starts to urinate.

John, having heard it said that black men are "large chaps",
looks down and gasps as he sees that the other man has "W"
and "Y" on his shaft.

He nervously addresses the chap,

"The tattoo...it's like mine! I'd guess...perhaps your girl's
Wendy too, right?", stretching his penis to show him it.

"Ah no, mon! See - it's different. If it's stiff, it's:
WELCOME TO THE REPUBLIC OF JAMAICA AND HAVE A NICE DAY!"

=

"Ha ha ha! Thanks indeed! Pleased to meet you, sir!" said John.

"Ah fine...yo's welcome!" replied the rastaman. "I and I is
Everton...Everton Green. Hey, yo name is?"

"Oh, it's John...John Williams", he replied, doing-up his flies.

Then after (the first evening), John and his sexy, sophisticated
trouble-and-strife went off to shag, to consummate their marriage.

Unknown to him, Wendy had had her initials discreetly tattooed
onto her oh-so-perfect arse...the left and the right buttocks.
Oh, imagine it! What a fantastic sight is this!

John, stiffening fast, he was fascinated, speechless, to realise
that as she bent over, that this spelled "WOW"!

David Bourke with:
Jack
Joshua
Thomas
James
Oliver
Daniel
Samuel
William
Harry
Joseph

Jessica
Emily
Sophie
Olivia
Chloe
Ellie Dent
Grace
Lucy
Charlotte
Katie

=

Osama / Usama
Ayatollah Khomeini
Hitler
Pol-Pot
Jesus
Elvis
O.J.
Machiavelli
Two Jags

Reese
J-Lo
Cher
Cherie
Erica
Judi
Kylie
Chemical Sally

Mehal Shah with:
The Fellowship of the Ring: Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Gandalf the White, Aragon, son of Arathorn, Legolas Greenleaf, Gimli, son of Gloin, Boromir, son of Denethor, Meriadoc Brandybuck, Perigrin Took.

=

I saw an long, epic book from ergo, know of the tale of ages in Middle Earth. Hoh! The heroes go on, defeat orcs, goblins, a Balrog, Ringwraiths, bringing flame-eyed Sauron's ring to Mordor, fling in gap of flame

Chris Sturdy with:
Kew, Chiswick, Barnes, Hammersmith, Putney, Wandsworth, Battersea, Albert, Chelsea, Vauxhall, Lambeth, Westminster, Hungerford (foot), Waterloo, Blackfriars, Millennium, Southwark, London, Tower, Rotherhithe Tunnel, Greenwich Foot Tunnel, Blackwall Tunnel =
The Central London Thames crossings in order from west to east.
All are excellent, beautiful, or unusual.
Through history, few men who walk stroll or drive black cabs thank them, but what'll we think if we can't?
When the IRA blow them up, we're blank in manner, Mr!

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

=

It might be gibberish to most
Yet brave, they all tend to agree:
How mad and droll a verse engrossed
With lingual whims may be!

More details and an image of the ambigram

2nd - James H. Young with:
Google

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love -
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me -
Yes! - that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we -
Of many far wiser than we -
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling - my darling - my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

=

It wasn't that many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a lady there lived with a viperish smile,
And her name was Blair, Cherie.
And this lady she lived with no other thought
Than to love and make much mon-ey.

He was named Tony and she was his wife,
In a kingdom by the sea;
And Tone devoted a love and a life
To the one they named Blair, Cherie.
But there were two men that he loved even more -
Himself and Bush (Bomber G.)

Glib Anthony Blair, he learnt how to lie,
In that kingdom by the sea,
And began to bomb Afghans with weenie Bush.
Leaving wife to make the mon-ey.
With the aid of her guru, Caplin, C,
And Aussie man, Foster, P,
Some bargain flats she planned to buy,
In this kingdom by the sea.

The Media, unveiled the unusual deal,
And lambasted selfish Cherie;
'Foster? the fellow's a nob!' they guffawed,
(In this kingdom by the sea);
'And why is a man that's been in a gaol,
Mutually matey with Blair, Cherie?'

Well the gullible lady, they tell, listened not
To anyone older than she,
To anyone better than she;
And not even a God, or heaven above,
Or any man wiser than she,
Could sever the bond that bound Cherie
To that wallaby, Foster, P.

When the law of the land took the villain in hand,
Cherie mumbled so penitently ;
'I'm naive, I was wrong, he's gone where he belongs,
Now I need to make much more mon-ey!'
And Cherie now gleefully feathers her nest,
Babbling unfunny rubbish for very large fees,
Huffing 'n' hamming on many TVs,
In various lands over the sea.

Richard Brodie with:
Abundance (Kausar) Surah
Lo! We have given thee Abundance.
So pray unto thy Lord, and sacrifice.
Surely your enemy is the one who shall be without posterity.

=

In truth, much has upon you been bestowed.
To Allah yield, in virtue, what He's owed.
Cry: "Butcher any Aryan!" knaves to us;
Your pagan foes' increase shall I erode.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
As you probably know, anagramming is not a very common art in German. The language is a bit clumsy and therefore more difficult to handle. Anyway, with Mike Keith's new Anagram Artist and my own German dictionary 'gramming is much easier now, especially if the subject text has the length of a Bible verse :-)

So here is my present to all who are interested: "Die Anagrammierte Bibel", "The Anagrammed Bible" in a verse-by-verse style. Work continues on it, I post here the first 60 verses of the first two chapters, which are already done.

Excuses go out to all who can't do anything with this post. Please bear with me and my proudness to publish this effort. (It is the first ever in German, to my knowledge and I was eager to publish it first here on the Anagrammy forum)

Anagrammed Bible

Chris Sturdy with:
The Leader by Anonymous

Patient and steady with all he must bear,
Ready to accept every challenge with care,
Easy in manner, yet solid as steel,
Strong in his faith, refreshingly real.
Isn't afraid to propose what is bold,
Doesn't conform to the usual mold,
Eyes that have foresight, for hindsight wont do,
Never back down when he sees what is true,
Tells it all straight, and means it all too.
Going forward and knowing he's right,
Even when doubted for why he would fight,
Over and over he makes his case clear
Reaching to touch the ones who won't hear.
Growing in strength, he won't be unnerved
Ever assuring he'll stand by his word.
Wanting the world to join his firm stand,
Bracing for war, but praying for peace,
Using his power so evil will cease,
So much a leader and worthy of trust,
Here stands a man who will do what he must.

=

Govern and Flop by GWB

Teaching this way to America's friend,
Has shown the deceit on which they depend.
It's both a con and a mind-trick. Arrogant fools
Subliminally message Pakistan's schools.
But now it's over - we see through the scam,
Unforeseen woes could befall Uncle Sam;
General Musharraf will have to admit
George's no leader, he's just an old git.
Even the author wanted no credit
Remaining anonymous despite having said it.
Not that we want the two to fall out
Earth's very health is already in doubt.
Eager to further the myth he is right,
Denying hard fact his English is shite,
Shallow war words and foolish hard-sell
Praying won't help, when off to hell.
Oh, when enforcing the War Against Terror
We're serving Dubya; wow, what an error!
Everybody, it's down in this verse
Rednecks and poets turn the world worse!

View with:
The rich man has his motor car,
His country and his town estate.
He smokes a fifty-cent cigar
And jeers at Fate.

=

Indigent one hasn't any auto,
Hasn't home or asset.
He chews crack-toffy.
If character's timid - Stars jeer at him.

The Anagrammy Awards

DECEMBER 2005 NOMINATIONS

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY