FEBRUARY, 2007 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2007

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Three Pyramids of the Giza Necropolis =
Head for Egypt's prime historical zone.

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Home brewery =
Why? More beer!

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The defibrillator =
For ill heart, I'd bet!

Sir T. Aucscua with:
A mobile telephone =
(beep tone) "Hello, I am..."

David Bourke with:
Space diapers ~
aid pees/craps.

David Bourke with:
Lousy father =
Feral youths.

David Bourke with:
Left shower =
Fresh towel.

Andrew Brehaut with:
To plant evidence =
Cop invented tale.

Andrew Brehaut with:
A toilet bowl =
Bowel at toil!

Andrew Brehaut with:
We are gathered here today... =
He agreed to wed a teary her.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Drug rehabilitation clinic =
No illicit habit during care.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Diamonds are a girl's best friend =
Emerald band or rings satisfied.

Andrew Brehaut with:
An Aboriginal weapon of mass destruction =
Australian owned boomerang's no pacifist.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Gladiator tournaments =
Latin gods torture a man.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Restrict nomadic nation =
a contradiction in terms.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Carbohydrates =
Starch, dear boy!

Andrew Brehaut with:
The cardiologists ~
do heart logistics.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Carcinogenic materials ~
originate cancer claims.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Computer malfunctions ‡
Punctual Microsoft men!

Andrew Brehaut with:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury =
They often all rise and judge men.

Andrew Brehaut with:
The raving lunatic =
Ruling the Vatican.

Andrew Brehaut with:
A wolf in sheeps clothing ~
has plot on filching ewes.

Andrew Brehaut with:
A hip replacement surgery =
Entire upper leg may crash.

Andrew Brehaut with:
The ironing lady =
Tidily on hanger.

Tony Crafter with:
A London commuter ~
couldn't moan more!

Tony Crafter with:
No morals =
So normal.

Tony Crafter with:
The favorite echo =
Voice of the heart.

Tony Crafter with:
The inner-self ~
feels thinner!

Ellie Dent with:
Fast food outlet =
Ate old stuff, too.

Ellie Dent with:
Our Lord giveth ~
drought, or evil?

Dan Fortier with:
Some regular letters are sorted, and ~
so rearranged to let me read results.

Dan Fortier with:
Karate tricks ~
are kick-start.

Meyran Kraus with:
A prisoner on death row =
When pardon is too rare.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride =
Remind a wed lady as babies arrive!

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Coward =
A C-word.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Whole wheat bread =
The bowel had wear.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
As pure as the driven snow =
How an ass is unperverted

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
A winter storm =
Ear mitts worn.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Self-incriminations ~
confess in trial I'm in.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Biology is destiny =
So I lose it by dying?

Paul Pan with:
Pasta al pesto ~
tops as a plate.

Adie Pena with:
Glitterati =
Gilt attire.

Adie Pena with:
Chelsea flat =
Flea's chalet.

Adie Pena with:
Carbon Neutral ‡
Let a car burn on.

Adie Pena with:
Media censorship =
O, I'm press ... chained!

Adie Pena with:
"The Forum is temporarily closed to new posts." =
Oh, my woes! Competitors spelled F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-I-O-N.

Adie Pena with:
I let anagramming fervor settle ~
as I'm managing leftover letter R.

Adie Pena with:
Rubbing that ~
bathtub ring.

Adie Pena with:
Lysergic Acid Diethylamide =
Elicited child imagery days.

Adie Pena with:
Muse's fat body ~
busted my sofa!

Adie Pena with:
Spare tire =
Repair set.

Adie Pena with:
Sin erupts after ~
a serpent's fruit.

Adie Pena with:
February's weather =
Beware earth's fury.

Rosie Perera with:
The love triangles ~
tangle other lives.

Rosie Perera with:
Doing the paternity test =
Get tiny tot's parent ID, eh?

Rosie Perera with:
The complications from surgery=
Chaos! Mirror & scope left in my gut.

Neil Ramsay with:
Security guards =
Rude, racist guys?

Neil Ramsay with:
Anti-Virus ‡
ruin Vista.

Neil Ramsay with:
a shark on ~
Noah's ark ?

Neil Ramsay with:
Real ale pubs =
pleasurable.

Neil Ramsay with:
A closed mouth gathers no foot =
A held tongue has comforts too!

Neil Ramsay with:
A bar's stale urine =
Australian beers.

Neil Ramsay with:
Blair's manifesto ‡
abstain from lies.

Neil Ramsay with:
The American President =
Here's a mad, inept cretin.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
A retirement plan =
Enter Parliament.

Rick Rothstein with:
Shoulder pads ~
hold up a dress.

Rick Rothstein with:
Whiter, wetter and icier... ~
I credit winter weather.

Mike Torr with:
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer =
Helped steer herd on round ride.

Mike Torr with:
Pregnancy and childbirth =
Children and crap by night.

Mike Torr with:
Extra virgin olive oil =
origin over villa exit.

Mike Torr with:
Omnipotent creator ‡
Incompetent orator.

Mike Torr with:
Suburban commuters' ~
bums outnumber cars.

Mike Torr with:
Who wants to live for ever? ~
Lovers who often view art.

View with:
Suicides =
Cuss, I die!

View with:
Addition =
AND, idiot!

View with:
Members of Parliament =
Amoral men, fibs, temper.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" documentary =
Oscar-nominated tale unnerving the country.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Oscar Wilde's novel 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' =
He conceals a now overly disfigured portrait.

3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Academy Award for Best Motion Picture =
"My Oscar win, it came about for 'The Departed'."

Sir T. Aucscua with:
A Nightmare On Elm Street =
men seeing mortal threat.

Sir T. Aucscua with:
Frodo Baggins of the Shire =
Oh shit, foe forges bad Ring!

David Bourke with:
The singer Britney Spears' latest hairdo =
She's near-bald as Rothstein, I regret. Pity!

Andrew Brehaut with:
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers =
They present hot trademark beat.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Retro dance "Nutbush City Limits" =
Disco's cult hit by me - Tina Turner.

Andrew Brehaut with:
"The Producers" =
He's corrupted!

Tony Crafter with:
'Britain's Top Model' =
Blonde patriotism.

Tony Crafter with:
'America's Top Model' =
Melodramatic pose.

Tony Crafter with:
Boston Gay Men's Chorus =
'YMCA' s our best song, hon!

Scott Gardner with:
Best motion picture of the year ~
is the top tribute of a ceremony

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Daniel Deronda by George Eliot =
"A bleeding good literary one!" (Ed.)

Rosie Perera with:
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows =
That hero's end tale worthy? Hardly, pal.

Adie Pena with:
Mad's National Gorilla Suit Day =
O, I say it's a dull Don Martin gala.

Adie Pena with:
John Pizzarelli Trio =
I hire top rollin' jazz.

Adie Pena with:
'Marat/Sade' =
Set a drama.

Adie Pena with:
Best Director Martin Scorsese =
Dirtiest screen mobster + Oscar.

Neil Ramsay with:
The Waltons $Dagger;
Talent Show

Rick Rothstein with:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer =
Pithy female braves fury

Rick Rothstein with:
The director Martin Scorsese =
Torrid scenes merit the Oscar.

Mike Torr with:
Bride of Frankenstein =
One bra, different skin

Mike Torr with:
The Woodstock Festival =
Tickets to "love fad" show

View with:
Sinbad the Sailor =
This old sea-brain.

View with:
Madonna Louise Ciccone =
Nice music and a cool one!


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - View with:
Bush still ~
bullshits!

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, to have a hysterectomy =
Charles? He formally cancels vasectomy without ado!

3rd - David Bourke with:
Tony Blair: "A new stadium? ~
Rome wasn't built in a day!"

David Bourke with:
The television historian Professor Simon Schama =
So, hasn't he a firm aversion to helicopter missions?

David Bourke with:
The Australian flight attendent Lisa Robertson =
Truth be told, Fiennes, tart shags in a latrine a lot!

David Bourke with:
Labour Prime Minister, Tony Blair =
Liberty, imprisonment, or a burial?

Andrew Brehaut with:
The Asian Bird Flu epidemic =
If I die, "mad hens" be a culprit.

Andrew Brehaut with:
The Asian Bird Flu epidemic ~
fueled British media panic.

Andrew Brehaut with:
The Kuwait Emir begs Iran to 'come to its senses'.=
Take caution! This Western regime booms sites.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Chinese New Year celebrations =
Yes, we Orientals can be in cheer!

Andrew Brehaut with:
Anna Nicole Smith dies =
She is cold 'n' inanimate!

Andrew Brehaut with:
Playboy Centrefold Anna Nicole Smith is dead. =
I can stop by Daniel, one of my sad late children.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Playboy centrefold Anna Nicole Smith is dead =
Mother decays and infant is labeled on policy.

Andrew Brehaut with:
The United States of America Senator Barack Obama =
I'm anti attack on Arabs because of more death rates.

Tony Crafter with:
The weather conditions are ringing alarm bells =
I learn the dirt global warming's on the increase.

Tony Crafter with:
Britney Spears goes baldheaded =
Sad has-been. Desperate glory bid?

Tony Crafter with:
Troops to quit Basra =
Abort Iraq outposts!

Dan Fortier with:
Mardi Gras in Louisiana =
I am sad: original's a ruin.

Meyran Kraus with:
A bald Britney Spears =
A barber's sadly inept!

Adie Pena with:
Al Gore was nominated for a Nobel for his campaign ~
on global warming as nationhoods reaffirm peace.

Adie Pena with:
SARS tide ~
disaster.

Adie Pena with:
Astronauts in diapers =
Proudest sanitarians.

Adie Pena with:
James Cameron's 'The Lost Tomb of Christ' =
Short film commentates, has objectors

Rosie Perera with:
Ted Haggard "completely heterosexual" =
He's gay, dude! Get the local moral expert.

Rosie Perera with:
Tattooed fish =
It's too daft, eh?

Rosie Perera with:
Bush forgets Valentine's Day =
Laura's envy: "Send the gift, SOB!"

Rosie Perera with:
Prince Harry -- the "bullet magnet" -- goes to Iraq =
Royal Briton gets there, can't help quagmire.

Neil Ramsay with:
Tony Blair's planning to pull the British troops out =
Right...it's only to spin Labour support in ballot, then?

Neil Ramsay with:
Cabinet ministers =
Crisis in bent team.

Neil Ramsay with:
Bush's oil war =
Labour's wish

Rick Rothstein with:
The former Playboy centrefold Anna Nicole Smith =
A normally hefty (once hot, firm) blond... Rest In Peace.

Mike Torr with:
Harvard chooses first woman president =
Dressier option - how fresh! Damn cravats...

View with:
Colts tame Bears for Super Bowl victory =
Our very best, crisp football team crows!


THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
William Henry Gates and Melinda French =
Really damn rich gentleman and his wife.

2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
The Maiden of Orleans =
Honored female saint.

3rd - Mike Torr with:
Doctor Sigmund Freud =
Our minds got fed crud.

David Bourke with:
Kate Moss and Pete Doherty =
Empty-headed rotten soaks.

Andrew Brehaut with:
NASA Navy Commander William Oefelein =
Lisa, a lone rival, menaced my fine woman.

Tony Crafter with:
The dictator Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini =
Best orator. Italians' reaction? Named him 'Il Duce'.

Tony Crafter with:
The monarch Eleanor of Aquitaine =
A French queen: I too am a lionheart!

Ellie Dent with:
Blair, the Prime Minister =
British Premier...I lament.

Dan Fortier with:
Scooter Libby =
I cobble story.

Meyran Kraus with:
Germany's National Socialist Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler =
I really do rot in hellfire for acts against humans.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Senator Joseph Biden ‡
Has one President job.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Sisyphus =
Pussyish.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Lisa Nowak and Colleen Shipman =
A woman in space handles no kill.

Paul Pan with:
Dr Strangelove ‡
grandest lover.

Paul Pan with:
Astronaut Lisa Nowak ‡
NASA work salutation.

Adie Pena with:
Imelda M. =
Dilemma.

Adie Pena with:
Who's Elie? ~
Oh, Wiesel.

Adie Pena with:
Thomas R. Frieden ‡
Need him for rats.

Rosie Perera with:
Drew Gilpin Faust =
We find us apt girl.

Rosie Perera with:
Tomi Rae Hynie =
Honey, I'm irate!

Rosie Perera with:
William Wilberforce and the Clapham Sect =
Cleric camp: what if we'll abolish men trade?

Neil Ramsay with:
Nancy Pelosi =
in 'cosy' plane.

View with:
Mary Wollstonecraft =
Normally, wrote facts.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Plains of the Serengeti =
Spot giant felines here.

eq2nd - Neil Ramsay with:
Nessie ~
is seen?

eq2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
The British Parliament: ~
"That Mr. Blair, he is inept!"

Sir T. Aucscua with:
a Barbie doll =
I'll be a broad.

David Bourke with:
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals =
No appetite for no-tact female Heather Mills

David Bourke with:
The Blues and Royals regiment =
Obtuse, idle gentleman's Harry.

Larry Brash with:
Royal Australian College of General Practitioners =
It's not a really great place for one in a surgical role.

Andrew Brehaut with:
The American Antiques Roadshow =
One has arcane items worth a quid.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Tehran: in ~
Iran then.

Tony Crafter with:
The Neapolitan Riviera =
"Italian heaven!" I report.

Dan Fortier with:
Continental Airlines =
Insane little iron can.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Indianapolis Colts =
Athletic idols on a spin.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Paul Taylor Dance Company ~
try a hop, leap, cycle and a mount.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Blues and Royals regiment =
Men in Harry's battle-ego duels.

Paul Pan with:
Hague, Netherlands =
Huge neanderthals

Adie Pena with:
"Light and Luscious" Camel No. 9 =
Asi-9 ladies' clot much on lung.

Adie Pena with:
A gay sheep won't ~
shag any top ewe.

Adie Pena with:
'Second Life' =
Self in code.

Adie Pena with:
PricewaterhouseCoopers =
Whoopee! Oscar trip secure.

Rosie Perera with:
The Curves fitness franchise =
Cures -- er, shifts -- fat (even chins).

Rosie Perera with:
Poitevin-Saintongeais =
Give in to insane patois.

Rosie Perera with:
National Weather Service =
Rain, snow, ice threat. Leave!

Mike Torr with:
Campaign For Real Ale =
Alliance For Rampage

View with:
Rome was not built in a day =
Town made by our Italians!

View with:
Kabbalistic =
Is 'black'* a bit.

View with:
The Asian =
Ah, in East.

View with:
Human genetic code =
Get choice, menu - DNA.


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
There is no great genius without some touch of madness =
In neurosis, admit we see much greatness of thought too

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Stanley Kubrick's film "Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb"=
Bloody funny romp, involving a stark cold-war-gone-berserk theme, obliterates this world.

3rd - David Bourke with:
The former Baywatch actress Pamela Denise Anderson-Lee =
Oh, we men admire her ace breasts (and a perfect ass!) on telly.

David Bourke with:
What does an Essex Girl use as protection? A bus shelter =
Wet? Sensible place, as it assures her next outdoor shag!

David Bourke with:
Transformulas International 'Transdox' Colonic Purifying Capsules =
I order pills. Sat. Soon...a clinical fart. Next...crap's running out of my anus!

David Bourke with:
The Labour Prime Minister Anthony Charles Lynton Blair =
An errant bully? Only a minor problem...he IS the Antichrist!

David Bourke with:
David Cameron, leader of the Conservative and Unionist Party of Great Britai =
Over-rated politician tried cannabis at fifteen: "Raver to O-D on drugs? Heavy, man!"

Andrew Brehaut with:
Here are some of those dumb shapes you'll find amid branded packets of playing cards =
Eye my hand of spades, clubs, diamonds and hearts. Keep a pair of eights or crumble & fold?

Andrew Brehaut with:
Dale Carnegie's book: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" =
We were to read bloke's helpful opinions and gain confidence.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is posing in the nude. =
Child petrified of a non-Slitheryn graduate's risen part.

Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you =
Inaugural lines of duty release by Kipling on how to be a man each day you honour it.

Adie Pena with:
Chile's senators adopted Easter Island as "Rapa Nui" but it's ~
translated better into our Spanish side as "Isla de Pascua."

Adie Pena with:
Senator 'Barack Osama' seems like a mean presidential candidate. =
Make Democrat aspirant sleek, needs a basic name edit or an alias.

Adie Pena with:
Sammy Taylor's "The Rime of the Ancient Millionaire" is ~
"I, Easy Anna Nicole Smith: Her Immortal Lifetime Story"

Adie Pena with:
Bravo! "My Fair Lady"'s gorgeously sung ... a new golden hit! What a smart phonic fable inspired by ~
playwright George Bernard Shaw's fabulous "Pygmalion" based on Ovid's fairly ancient myth.

Adie Pena with:
Sylvester 'Rocky Balboa' Stallone's scheduled trip is delayed; entire entourage is detained ~
in Sydney airport because telltale steroids, he's told, inside unlocked travel bags are eyed.

Rosie Perera with:
Prince Harry to deploy to Iraq with his regiment, the Blues and Royals. =
Charles' inheritor, that edgy brother, quipped, "no way I'll sit on my arse!"

Rosie Perera with:
The God Delusion, by the British author Richard Dawkins =
This rich atheist debunks religion. Buddha had to worry.

Rosie Perera with:
Prince Frederick von Anhalt might be baby's Dannielynn's father? =
Pervert: "Frankly, I grab Anna Nicole Smith's fancy behind, then...Bed!"

Neil Ramsay with:
Greenpeace sending a Valentines Day card to whales killers. =
Well, only a large kiss can avert death in endangered species!

Rosie Perera with:
Where are all the women strong, the men good looking, and the children above average? =
Oh, here, here: Lake Wobegon, Minn., that small, good, Norwegian enclave that revered God.

Mike Torr with:
I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky ~
The hesitant hags and sweaty men look good, to a sunlit eye.

Mike Torr with:
We're sorry to announce that the 0729 service to London Waterloo is being delayed by approximately 5 minutes =
Gloomy irony! "29-minute-late 0705 reversed into water" is explanation: nobody cares about the sleepy crowd, then.

View with:
The Hunchback Of Notre Dame', written by Victor Hugo =
Great French book. Vetoed mutant boy within church.


THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Passionate Shepherd to His Love
by
Christopher Marlowe

Come live with me and be my Love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That hills and valleys, dale and field,
And all the craggy mountains yield. =

Dear Miss Capulet

Brave damsel I shall leave thee ne'er,
And will speed to thy shy balcony tonight,
When my love I shall as new declare;
PS: It'll help if thou provideth a ladder and a light!

My Love,

Swain Romeo

2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Passionate Shepherd to His Love
by
Christopher Marlowe

Come live with me and be my Love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That hills and valleys, dale and field,
And all the craggy mountains yield. =

Let every dropped aitch or swallowed vowel be a Cupid's dart
That falls on and lashes Higgins's tame male heart
So happy he'll be, Miss Doolittle, real divine
When you'll have called him "Henry, my Valentine"!

3rd - Neil Ramsay with:
The Passionate Shepherd to His Love
by
Christopher Marlowe

Come live with me and be my Love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That hills and valleys, dale and field,
And all the craggy mountains yield. =

Love's Simple Deed

Rivals plans seem to end it all,
A gun, a pop, a deadly call.

With Chino's bullet in thy chest,
I hold thee to my loving breast.

Love, we never shall despair,
Hold my hand, we're halfway there.

Maria

David Bourke with:
George W, my dirty Valentine,
Let's have alcohol, I've an old red wine.
'W', do pass the Vaseline,
Slam your hard, hard shaft deep between.
Hell, this love shall last politically,
Be my top man, and I shall dump Cherie!

David Bourke with:
Who wants to be a divorcee?
Complete hell, lust moving me.
I have wept, shall all the day,
Hell, that's deserved, I played away.
Blameless Ingrid, shall on you I depend?
Shall, my love, I phone a friend?

- Chris Tarrant

Larry Brash with:
I loved the new sonnet.

Your daddy's a vulgar bastard;
He called me a "somdomite" poser.
The halfwit can't even spell it right!
Then... he shall pay heavily in Hell!

Man's love will help

Oscar Wilde

Andrew Brehaut with:
Dear cuddly Bill,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

One: I herald savvy Hamlet's plan
Two: I love ill Lear's part's depth
Three: I hail fallen Caesar's lavishly planned death

My deep homage,
Miss Browning.

Andrew Brehaut with:
My Playgirl hell,Pamela,

I love thy tits and ass.
Hell! How I love tits and ass.

I pet cleavage and a cherry.
Hell! How I love to feel breast and ass.

Her new melons and rump; they did thrill me!

Whoopee!

Uncle David B

Andrew Brehaut with:
The Passionate Shepherd to His Love

Ewe are my dumb lass in the void lilly.
Ewe are more charming than a filly
Ewe chanced my van's path. A bleat song so shrill
Ewe plotted a novel thrill.

Dull Evil Lad,
Paddy

Tony Crafter with:
Hallo Piglet!

This card, addressed with Royal seal,
I send to tell thee how I feel,
Camilla, I love you, old bean,
(Well ... whatever 'love' ... um, means)

Happy Valentines Day!

Signed................. (Manservant)
pp HRH Charles (Told by him)

Tony Crafter with:
Hello Pal!

I appreciated the charming letters and I have considered the bullish plea to live with seven smelly, unsavory, baldheaded old men.

Alas my reply is: "No."

Ha! Ha! Get lost, dwarf !

All my love,

Snow White

Dan Fortier with:
To my Beloved Anagrammy Awards:

This heavenly Challenge I've spilled wide out-
my love child lass. Ah, I've left no doubt:
all who'll lie prone and play with their arse
shall spend time *her* chaste end to parse.

Adrian Hickford with:
All Powerful God

I love and live in Thy love,
Helplessly, wholeheartedly.
Hosanna!

My dream was bliss.
Happiness, beatitude, delight,
All enthral, enchant, overwhelm me.
It's Paradise!

Devoted Catholic
Mary

Meyran Kraus with:
The Valentine by England's Prince Edward
to the divorcee Wallis Simpson

How lame, all dull, the Royals seem,
As I have won Love's perfect gleam...
All that I have I'll push aside
To hold thy pearly hand, my bride.

Paul Pan with:
Oh, my darling Empress,
Hell, how I, a pallid war-torn leader,
Covet thy lightheaded smellable essence
Ah, a vivid willful velvet scent bathed me!
Palatially yours,
Napoleon I
PS. Home in three days. Don't wash!

Adie Pena with:
Carnal dreams do happen.

Two hidden hearts withhold aplenty,
calmly tempt a dawn,
enthral the light.

I see a smile,
a haloed gem,
revived on your velvet face.

Who says love is helplessly blind?

- Louis Braille

Adie Pena with:
We love a RAINBOW.

Splash a sea nymph BLUE.
Hush! A spell!
Add vivid dahlia RED.
Leaves GREEN fell.

Peach ORANGE midst
Idyll YEL-
LOW, mist VIOLET.
Myth? Please tell.

- The Scarecrow, the Tin Man, the Lion and Dorothy

Rosie Perera with:
Dearest creature in creation,
I love verbal pronunciation.
Lovely English ells and vowels,
Phyllopod, shellfish, hydatid, owls.
Empty, bad, lewd anagram? Ah, hell!
I may have attempted them as well. ;-)
(She hides.)

Rosie Perera with:
Darling Halfwit, I love you so.
The lethal war is so manly!!
Phallic bombs give me thrills.
The splendid malaprops send me down. Hee, hee!
And the death penalty...handle it well!
Ever lovey-dovey & sarcastic,
Laura

Neil Ramsay with:
A megalomaniac psychopath parent to his puny lad...

My Love, sad gimp, small witless clone,
With you, I'll never be dethroned.

If the lair's all done, & the heads are shaved,
The lowly earth will be enslaved.

Dr Evil.

Christopher Sturdy with:
A great ham plan

Eyes met across a crowded hall
And smartly, Cupid's missile flew.
Lad planned to have her in his bed,
He bravely went to her and pled:
"Hello, I've got to have it all;
I'm helplessly in love with you"

Mike Torr with:
Enhance A Map!
(From Beeching, to the Railways)

Lord! I love thy little-travelled ways:
So much, I'd snap them all, apparently;
Leasehold values this goodwill displays:
Meanwhile, the end had love - never debris.

Mike Torr with:
Halfway In Heaven's Hall

Amen, my childhood world, brave satellites
One planet less will overlay ye nights
As to my placid vector I adhere
A humble and deserving little sphere

Pluto (the pale, dim shadow)

View with:
Hail to splendid, clever, thrilling, seraphic, wild,
high - sensual, nimble , 'love- whore' sweetheart,
my admirable madam...

Hello and well, happy St. Valentine's Day' !
Hopelessly devoted to you,
Heartfelt
Casanova



THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:

An elderly Welshman is lying on his deathbed. Eyes closed, he can feel the end is not very far away, when he notices the most wonderful aroma.

He realises that his loving wife of nearly sixty years is baking his favourite Welsh cakes.

He manages to muster up enough energy to drag himself out of bed and crawl very weakly to the kitchen.

As his frail, withered hand reaches up to the cake-table, he suddenly feels the whack of a wooden spoon, as his wife barks, "Fuck off, they're for the funeral!"

=

Following fertility treatment, an eighty-odd-year old woman has a baby daughter.

When she comes home, six of her wrinkled pals suddenly turn up drooling, "Gosh! Can we have a look at the baby?"

"No - later!" she huffs. "Have some coffees first."

Coffees finished, they ask, "Can we see her?"

"Later, have some cakes."

After cakes the friends all ask, "Can we see her?"

"Later."

"Why do you keep saying 'later'?" they ask, offended by her unwillingness.

"I have to wait until she cries?"

"Huh? Why?"

"So I can find out where I left her!"

2nd - Rosie Perera with:

Bushido, meaning "Way of the warrior", is a Japanese code of conduct and a way of life, loosely analogous to the European concept of chivalry. Bushido developed between the 11th to 14th centuries as set forth by numerous translated documents dating from the 12th to 16th centuries. According to the Japanese dictionary Shogakukan Kokugo Daijiten, "Bushido is defined as a unique philosophy (ronri) that spread through the warrior class from the Muromachi (chusei) period."

The core tenets of Bushido date from as early as the 12th century as demonstrated by the earliest translations of Japanese literature and warrior house codes.

Under the Tokugawa Shogunate, Bushido became formalized into Japanese Feudal Law.

Inazo Nitobe, in his book Bushido: The Soul of Japan, described Bushido in this way. "...Bushido, then, is the code of moral principles which the samurai were required or instructed to observe... More frequently it is a code unuttered and unwritten... It was an organic growth of decades and centuries of military career."

=

Bush-ego, meaning "Way of the War President," is an American code of conduct, a swashbuckling way of life, loosely analogous to the Wild West cowboy ethic. Bush-ego developed in the run-up to the 2000 elections and became utterly intolerable in 2004. The turn of events in 2001 was quite instrumental in its ascension.

The core tenets of Bush-ego are:
- be audacious, a pious jackass, a hothead, a jerk, a fraud
- stay the course (Ha! Ha!)
- stand firm on Iraq (Ha! Ha!)
- stop a few terrorists from any attempts at jihad afoot on our territory (Ha! Ha! Ha!)
- read "Pet Goat" stories in your country's hour of terror (Duh!)
- be misunderestimated (Duh!)
- pose for photo ops (Duh!)
- decide, decide, decide! (Duh!)
- outdo Dad at war (Hee, hee!)

Under the Department of Homeland Security, Bush-ego became formalized into a distrust for the rule of law.

Karl Rove, in his book, Bush-ego II: Adieu: The Squashing of Iran, described it in this way: "Bush-ego, then, is a code of immoral principles which allows a brazen perjurer to hijack another country and inject discord and torture on its innocent residents."

3rd - David Bourke with:
Heather Mills-McCartney has been dropped by the animal rights charity group PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)

=

The mega-filthy-rich former Beatle Paul happy to hear his once bedtime partner, the "asymmetrical cripple" hasn't a leg to stand on!

Tony Crafter with:
"I never asked my boys to work on holidays, except maybe
once. On St Valentine's Day." (Edward G. Robinson as Big Jim in Robin and the Seven Hoods)

=

"Oh boy, one thing I never mentioned; their job wasn't exactly
spreading cosy love and kisses. More ... brains and bad news,
I'd say. OK, nobody move!"

Andrew Brehaut with:
Listed below are the movies related to those moody men waiting for a winning gong at the Oscars for the best male actor:

Blood Diamond
Half Nelson
Venus
The Pursuit of Happyness
The Last King of Scotland

=

The notable, on set legends that, for months, canvassed undated Film Academy women staff hoping to establish enough bonus votes:

Leonardo DiCaprio
Ryan Gosling
Peter O'Toole
Will Smith
Forest Whitaker

Neil Ramsay with:
"Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so"
Gore Vidal

=

A good, safe paradigm vividly outlined by 'oily' Bush and his nefarious, imperialist Iraq offence or incompetent, deluded war on terror.

Mike Torr with:
Anti-whaling group Sea Shepherd may shortly discontinue its Southern Ocean protest against the Japanese for lack of fuel. Greenpeace's Esperanza is poised to resume duty instead.

=
Capsize the hateful, odious Japs? That presupposes a corny, stereotyped aggression, and is not pleasing. Rather, resurface elsewhere in disguise, to outflank and annoy them. Nice, mate!



THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING

2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
'My Country' by Dorothea Mackellar

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
MULL OF KINTYRE

David Bourke with:
Eagles 'used to beat hunting ban'

Neil Ramsay with:
Rentons Soliloquy

Neil Ramsay with:
The Ballad of John and Yoko

Mike Torr with:
Lullaby (The Cure)

View with:
A

ABSURDE = BAD,SURE
ACCALMIE = A)ICE-CALM
ACCOMPAGNANT [accompanied]= GROUP CAME; A CANT
ACCOMPLIR [finish]= CLAIM CROP
ACCORDe'ON = ONE ACCORD?
ACCOUCHER [to give birth] = COUCH&CARE
ACCOUPLEMENT [matching]= MALE COPE C**T
ACCOMLER [to match]=CAR, COUPLE
ACCROISSEMENT [increasing]= ACCENTS:'IS MORE'
ACHETER [to buy]= CHEATER
ACHETEUR [client] = TRUE ACHE = U CHEATER!
ACROBATE = O, CABARET!
ACTIF = IF ACT
ACTIONNAIRE [stockdealer] = RETAIN A COIN
ADJOINDRE [to combine] = er...JOIN, ADD
ADMINISTRATEUR [boss] = MAN IS A TRUE DIRT = A MINISTER, A TURD
ADOPTe' [adopted child] = DO A PET
ADDUCIR [to sweeten] OUR ACID
ADOUCISSEMENT [softening] = SAME SEDUCTION
ADULTERE = RUDE TALE
AFFAIBLIR [to weaken] = A FIB? FRAIL!
AFFAIBLISSEMENT [weakening] = IF ASSEMBLE FAINT
AFFAILLISSANT [makes weak] = FILLS AS A FAINT
AFFECTIONNER [to like] = FRANCE FIT.ONE...
AFFERMIR [to make strong] = REAFFIRM
AFFOLEMENT [panic] = MENTAL 'OFF',e
AFFRANCHISSEMENT [release] = FRENCHMAN'S FIESTA = MAN'S FREE, CAN SHIFT
AFFRONTER [to tackle] = FRONT FEAR
AFRICAIN = IN AFRICA = I AFRICAN
AGACANT [annoying] = A NAG-ACT
AGISSANT [active] = GIANT ASS (those French!)
AGITATEUR [agitator]= I ARGUE; TAT
AGONISANT [dying] = SATAN GOIN'
AGRANDISSEMENT [magnification] = IN MAD GREATNESS = TEENS GRAND AIMS = MENDER, GIANT ASS
AGRe'ABLE [pleasant] = GRAB A LEE = A GAL, BEER
AGRe'GATION [annexation] = O, GREAT GAIN!
AGRESSEUR [aggressor] = RAGES USER
AGRESSIF [aggressive] = FIRES GAS
AGRESSION [attack] = GAS, SENIOR
AGRESIVITE [agression] = I GET RAVE, SIS
AGRICOLE [farmer] = LEA, CORGI
AGRICULTEUR = AGRICULTURE
AIGUILLAGE [routing] = I ALL GAUGE, I
AILLEURS [another place] = IS ALLURE
AIMABLE = AMIABLE
AJOURNEMENT [refusal] = MANURE ON JET
ALBUMINE - I ALBUMEN
ALCOOL [alcohol] = ALL COO
ALCOOLIQUE = QUI...COOL ALE!
ALENTOURS [all around] = TOUR LANES
ALIGNEMENT [straight line] = GET LINE, MAN = I 'GENTLEMAN'
ALIGNER = REALIGN
ALLAITEMENT [ brest feeding] = LEAN TIT - MEAL
ALLe'GORIE = O REGALE, LIE!
ALLEMAND [German]= LAND - MALE
ALLONGER [to extend] = REAL LONG
ALPES = LEAPS
AMABILITE = IT AMIABLE
AMAIGRISSEMENT [slimimg] = ARE MISSING MEAT? = MISS AT A REGIMENT = REGIME, STAMINAS = ANTI-MASS REGIME
AMENDE [fine] = DEMEAN
AMEUBLEMENT [furniture] = A 'BUM' ELEMENT
AMI [friend] = I AM
AMITIE [frienship] = I TEAM, I
AMNISTIE = EMIT A SIN
AMMORTISSEMENT [amortization] = TIME AS MONSTER
AMORTISSEUR [brake] = OUR AIM'S REST
AMPLIFICATEUR [booster] = I AM UPLIFT CARE
ANALYSER [to analyze]= SAY 'LEARN'
ANCIENNMENT [ex-]= EN ANCIENT MEN
ANESSE [female ass] = NEE-ASS
ANGLAIS [Englishman] = AS LINGA (joke)
ANGOISSE [distress, anxiety] = GAS, NOISE = I ON GASES
ANIMAL FAMILIER [pet] = FAMILIAR MARE IN
ANIMER [to revive] = REMAIN
ANNIVERSAIRE [birthday] = A nine ARRIVES...
ANNONCEUR = ANNOUNCER
ANNULER [to cancel] = UNLEARN
ANORMAL [unususl] = 'n AMORAL = ON ALARM
ANTENNE D'INSECTE [feeler] = NICE ANT NEEDS TEN
ANTIPATHIE [revulsion] = INEPT, I HATE
ANTIPATHIQUE = PIQUANT HATE, I
ANTIQVAIRE = ANTIQUE AIR
ANTIQUITe' = IT ANTIQUE
ANTISe'MITISME = IMAMS ENTITIES
APAISEMENT [calming] = 'TAME' PAINS
APIROYER [mercy] = O EAR, PITY!
APLANIR [ to align]= ar..PLAIN
APLANISSEMENT [alignment] = MEAN: SET PLAIN
APPARa'TE [to appear] = ART, I APPEAR
APPARITION [show] = APPOINT AIR
APPENDICITE = DEEP PAIN, TIC
APPENTISSANT [appetizer] = ANTEPAST, SIP = A PINT, PASTE
APPRe'CIER [to estimate] = REAP-PRICE
APPRENTISSAGE [cadetship] = REPEATING PASS = PASS AT PEERING
APPRIVOISEMENT [taming] = TIME PROVES PAIN = SAPIENT IMPROVE
APPROCHE [advance] = POP&REACH
APPROCHER [to bring near] = REACH PROP
APPROUVER [to confirm] = A PROVER UP
APRES [later] = SPARE
ARBITRE = ARBITER
ARITHMe'TIQUE = QUEER, IT MATH, I
ARMER = REARM
ASPIRATEUR [vacuum cleaner] = SET PURE AIR = 'PURIST' AREA
ASPIRATION = TO PARISIAN = INTO A PARIS
ASPIRINE = IRE, PAINS
ASSAISONNEMENT [spicing] = MAN SET SEASONIN' = SEASON INNS MEAT = MEANS, SENSATION
ASSe'CHEMENT [settlement] = A NEST SCHEME
ASSERMENTe' [compotent] = MASTER SEEN
ASSERVISSEMENT [subjugation] = SERVE, ASSIST MEN
ASSIDU [diligent] = AIDS US
ASSIDUTE [persistence] = A) STUDIES = AS IT USED
ASSIETTE [dish, plate] = IS EAT-SET = EATS SITE
ASSITER [to help] = AS SISTER
ASSOIFFe' [thirsty] = SEA IS OFF?
ASSORTIMENT = I ASSORTMENT
ASSURe'MENT [certainly] = SURE, MAN SET
ASTRE = STAR,e
ASTROLOGUE = Oo,STAR GLUE!
ASTRONAUTE = O, TUNE A STAR!
ASTRONOME = O,ME ON STAR! = O,STAR-OMEN!
ATMOSPHe'RIQUE = EQUIPS 'A MOTHER'
ATOMISEUR [spayer] = A MOISTURE = MOIST, UREA
ATTABLER [sit at the table]= TABLE ART
ATTENDRE [to get] = EARN IT, TED
ATTERISSAGE [landing] = IS GREAT SEAT = GET A SEAT, SIR
ATTRANCE [attraction] = A) INTERACT = REACHIN' AT...
ATTRAPER [to catch] = TRAP&TEAR
ATTROUPEMENT [gathering] = ROTTEN TEAM UP
AUBE [dawn] BEAU (yes, those French!)
AUBERGISTE [innkeeper] = I BEAR GUEST = BIG SURE EAT
AUDIOVISUEL = USUAL VIDEO
AUGMENTER [to increase] = MENU: GREAT
AUTHENTIQUE = TAT? HE UNIQUE!
AUTOBIOGRAPHIE = A 'BIG HERO' UTOPIA = ABOUT A PIG? I HERO! = TO A BIG EUPHORIA
AUTOBUS = BUS, AUTO
AUTOGRAPHE = PAGE + AUTHOR
AUTORISER [to allow] = SURE TO AIR
AVANT [front] = AT VAN
AVANTAGE = A VANTAGE
AVENTURE = A VENTURE
AVENTURIER = I A VENTURER
AVERTISSEMENT [alarm, warning] = NEVER MISSTASTE!
AYANT DROIT [innocent] = A - NOT A DURTY!



THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Rick Rothstein with:
Incest is wrong, ~
screwing is not!

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Has homosexual tendencies =
He does men's anal exits? Ouch!

3rd - Adie Pena with:
Boys + Girls =
Orgy + Bliss.

Sir T. Aucscua with:
Old-age pensioner =
Penis-loader gone!

David Bourke with:
Right up the backside =
Ah, I'd grip butt-cheeks!

David Bourke with:
Pictures of naked women =
Desperation...fuck me now!

David Bourke with:
The actor Ralph Fiennes and Lisa Robertson =
Star roots her blonde snatch in plane, I fear!

Andrew Brehaut with:
The raving homosexual =
I love sex through a man.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Insertion Fantasy =
Infant's toy in arse?

Andrew Brehaut with:
Platonic relationships =
It has no clit or penis, pal!

Andrew Brehaut with:
Some cum stains on the sheets ~
match semen on those tissues.

Tony Crafter with:
Hip-thrusting ~
up nightshirt!

Meyran Kraus with:
A 'happy ending' masseuse =
"Pay me and a penis gushes!"

Meyran Kraus with:
'Viagra' medication =
I'm Active Organ-Aid.

Paul Pan with:
Use the prick ~
up shit creek.

Paul Pan with:
Sweetheart =
Eat her stew.

Adie Pena with:
"Dame de voyage" =
Evade gay mode.

Adie Pena with:
Sweetheart =
See her twat!

Adie Pena with:
Sex in tiny bedrooms =
Do somber sixty-nine.

Neil Ramsay with:
She goes all the way =
He always gets hole.

Neil Ramsay with:
A USB webcam ~
saw babe cum.

Neil Ramsay with:
it's often hardest ~
on the first dates.
Neil Ramsay with:
These dumb wars =
Bush's wet dream.

Rick Rothstein with:
A love-making session =
Kiss some lone vagina.

Rick Rothstein with:
Diamonds are a girl's best friend ~
as are giant benders, firm dildos.

Rick Rothstein with:
Friend with benefits =
I went stiff in her bed.

Rick Rothstein with:
Raving lunatic =
A virginal cunt.

Mike Torr with:
Troops To Leave Basra =
Arab Arse-Love To Stop.

View with:
The Asian pussy-eater =
See his 'sea-tuna party'.

View with:
"Love and Eroticism" =
No more civil dates.


The Anagrammy Awards