JULY 2014 NOMINATIONS

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Armed bully =
Really dumb.

2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Airline disasters =
In aerial distress.

3rd - nedesto with:
Those who deny climate change =
How they had to mangle science!

Rosie Perera with:
Tranquility in the eye of a storm =
Anomaly: soft quiet in here; try it!

View with:
Notwithstanding =
Twist and thing? No!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Felon is ~
on files.

Tyler Severance with:
The radical note ‡
It had tolerance.

Rosie Perera with:
Chronic traumatic encephalopathy =
Coach: punch can impair tyro athlete.

Tyler Severance with:
White Glare =
We are light!

Tony Crafter with:
Standing in your shadow =
And diagnosis? Unworthy.

Tyler Severance with:
Eleven going on thirty ‡
Noting longevity here.

Rosie Perera with:
A subduction zone earthquake =
A dozen rocks beat a unique hut.

Tyler Severance with:
The marijuana bong =
A joint hub manager.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Get near Rubicon, thinks ~
"there is no turning back."

Rosie Perera with:
Baby shower gift =
Why, big soft bear!

Ed Pegg Jr with:
Piece by Acclaimed Artist =
Academic respectability.

Rosie Perera with:
The defense rests =
He sensed fetters.

Rosie Perera with:
Dine out at the local vegetarian restaurants =
I eat radishes, lettuce, tarragon; not veal, tuna..

Tyler Severance with:
Runs time =
Terminus.

View with:
Fine bet =
Benefit.

Scott Gardner with:
Neutrogena sunblock =
Gel on neck, a burn's out.

Scott Gardner with:
Bathroom tissue =
I rub smooth seat.

Rosie Perera with:
The benefits of engaging in psychological warfare =
It can slowly frighten off a neighbor. Gee, gain space!

Christopher Sturdy with:
The benefit of psychological warfare is... ~
peace if I slowly scare off that neighbor.

Christopher Sturdy with:
The Octopus' wandering hands =
No, she didn't want such a grope!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Silver-tongued =
True devil-song.

Larry Brash with:
Cascading style sheets =
Designates classy tech.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Undergo a strip search =
Reach and got surprise

Tyler Severance with:
Private lavatory =
Oval trap variety.

Ed Pegg Jr with:
The Oxford comma =
Cad, fox, moth, or me.

Tyler Severance with:
Undergo a stop-and-frisk =
Go spread for unkind TSA.

Adrian Hickford with:
Anti-smokers ‡
Men so at risk.

Dharam Khalsa with:
What exactly is in McDonald’s french fries? =
Chefs claim: "We drench toxins in lardy fats!"

Andrew Brehaut with:
Cardigans ~
and cigars

Christopher Sturdy with:
Went on =
not new.

David Bourke with:
Mis-sold payment protection insurance =
Certainly merits pounds compensation.

Ed Pegg Jr with:
Best place for "thank you" =
Pat yourself on the back.

Jason Lofts with:
Death Row houses prisoners awaiting execution =
Ensures are wiped out with noose/chair/gas/toxin.

Rosie Perera with:
United States border security =
Be stricter. Undesired, stay out!

Andrew Brehaut with:
Media advisor =
"Video is drama."

Dharam Khalsa with:
Idiom: "Too many cooks spoil the broth" =
So, my poor old kitchen is taboo to him!

Rosie Perera with:
The Maasai warrior =
He aims arrow at air.

Julian Lofts with:
The seven-year itch =
I envy the cheaters

Rosie Perera with:
The military de-escalation =
Elite army action is halted.

Adie Pena with:
The conspiracy theorist =
I chart phony stories, etc.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Murderous intent =
Must die, no return.

Rosie Perera with:
Murderous intent =
Demon nurtures it.

Adie Pena with:
Confidential =
Tenfold in CIA!

Ellie with:
A universal shame =
As humans are evil.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
'Always Look On the Bright Side of Life' =
For we like a song by that foolish Idle!

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
The World Cup Final: Argentina vs. Germany =
Many find pleasure watching on larger TV.

eq3rd - nedesto with:
And Moses went up the sacred mountain to meet the Lord =
Path used to reach one renowned Old Testament summit.

eq3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Argentinian football team =
A German lot beat it on the Final.
Rosie Perera with:
The rhinoceros beetles =
Insects bore hole there.

Rosie Perera with:
CGI: Computer Generated Imagery =
E.g., more cinema picture gadgetry.

Tyler Severance with:
Shields up =
Ships duel.

Ellie Dent with:
Portrait of Mona Lisa in the Louvre Museum =
I have unusual smile to promote in art form.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Follow the Yellow Brick Road in the Land of Oz =
Child went to look for a noble wizard. Folly, eh?

Jason Lofts with:
Argentina's captain Lionel Messi =
A lone magician's talent inspires.

Adie Pena with:
Germany dominates Brazil =
As men do terribly. Amazing!

Rosie Perera with:
"Naked Dating" reality television show =
A lady wooer's genitals evident, I think.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Reality television show "Naked and Afraid" =
Defy a starvation risk while on a deadline.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Reality television show "Naked and Afraid" =
Indeed, a real work to stay alive and finish!

View with:
'Dawn of the Planet of the Apes' =
Fans want the death of people.

Ed Pegg Jr with:
Word Crimes ~
is M-W record.

Scott Gardner with:
Bedrich Smetana, The Moldau =
A boldhearted music anthem.

Christopher Sturdy with:
The Monty Python Live (Mostly): One Down, Five To Go =
Potty men show devotion to novelty, flying home.

Tony Crafter with:
'Market Scene', the famous painting by Laurence S. Lowry =
Mutely enacts Manchester folk buying open-air wares.

Scott Gardner with:
Starry Night masterpiece =
A grim cypress tree in that.

Ellie Dent with:
'Sunflower' series by Vincent Van Gogh =
I favor bright sunny scene... even glows!

Adie Pena with:
The Austrian composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart =
Great music, a loud organ from the past, amazes now.

David Bourke with:
The pianist Liberace =
He's a pitiable cretin.

Meyran Kraus with:
New Star Wars feature in production =
A super-nerd sure can't wait for it now!


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Ellie Dent with:
The unrest in Gaza =
Then gaze at ruins.

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
The Israel-Gaza conflict =
Crazies fight all at once.

3rd - David Bourke with:
The ongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict =
Rising toll, politicians on the fence again.

Rosie Perera with:
Religious Freedom Restoration Act =
A court glorified it; arrest someone!

David Bourke with:
The ISIS militants declare a caliphate =
The plan elicited Islamic sharia state.

Rosie Perera with:
The new Canadian Anti-Spam Law goes into effect July 1 =
A nation ends awful emails that few enjoy accepting.

Christopher Sturdy with:
New homes? =
Somewhen!

Christopher Sturdy with:
'Rolf Harris: A Life of Inexcusable Deeds' =
Foil a serial sex offender / child abuser

View with:
Brazil's humiliating defeat to Germany =
Mighty bitter failure... amazing end also!

Ivan Andonov with:
Estadio Mineirao, Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerais =
I see a German in here, too, so it is Brazilian doom.

Julian Lofts with:
Former New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin =
A new synonym for managerial error?

Tyler Severance with:
The summer time in the southeast =
I met the ere hot sun's heat summit.

David Bourke with:
Germany play Argentina in the World Cup Final =
Applying racial fury, England mention the war!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Germany teaches Brazil a lesson of a lifetime =
Team reaches final in a blaze of glory, it seems!

David Bourke with:
The Argentinian footballer Lionel Andrés Messi =
"Listen, I'll beat those inferior Germans...and alone!"

View with:
Smelling farts is good for your health =
Slightly inhale odor of guts (from arse).

Julian Lofts with:
Israel continues another offensive in Gaza =
A huge inferno, no? Severe fanatical Zionists!

David Bourke with:
The ruination of a child's formative years =
To name you a chief deviant, it's Rolf Harris.

View with:
Israel's Iron Dome Is Amazing, and That's a Problem* =
Zion-method armored against Arab missiles plan

Dharam Khalsa with:
"Barack Hussein Obama is the worst President" =
Power to habits and mistakes in Bush's career.

Adie Pena with:
Germany dominates Brazil ~
Amazing 'names' do terribly.

Rosie Perera with:
The Disney World monorail =
Some wildly honored train.

Tyler Severance with:
The Dow and S & P reaching all time highs =
It had ample holdings with green cash!

Rosie Perera with:
Mortars fired from Gaza to Israel =
A flare from air grazed motorists.

Rosie Perera with:
Malaysian airline shot down by ‘Buk’ missile =
Russians banally deny it: Who me? Alibis! I'm OK.

nedesto with:
Recent Malaysian flight disaster =
Sent fatal missile carrying death.

Julian Lofts with:
Flight MH seventeen from Antwerp was doomed =
Few defend the most evil phantom warmongers.

Tony Crafter with:
The Malaysia Airlines jet downed in eastern Ukraine =
Many die in the area; a lot were kids, I learn. Just insane.

Tyler Severance with:
> The news about the Malaysian airline disasters =
> Israel and Hamas in its whole entirety abates us.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Dual international pressure =
Turn around Israel/Palestine.

Adie Pena with:
The Gaza Crisis =
A craziest sigh.

Christopher Sturdy with:
One Hundred and Fifty Thousand Posts =
Did spend day on net - that's hours of fun!

Rosie Perera with:
Biologist Richard Dawkins defends "mild pedophilia" =
I'd warn kids of a paid pig's libido; he'd molest children.

Ellie Dent with:
The current Middle East conflict =
Children must not die: Reflect. Act.

Meyran Kraus with:
Hamas ire truly ~
may hurt Israel.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Bogus fundraiser, Christopher Copeland =
Concur bastard is duping Help For Heroes!

Rosie Perera with:
The Palestinian Islamic Resistance Movement =
Hamas men in epic action vs. Israeli settlement.
Crazies fight all at once.


THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - nedesto with:
Priam's son Hector =
Heroic sportsman!

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
William Shakespeare's wife Anne Hathaway =
Aha, I knew it! She was a female shrew in a play!

3rd - Jason Lofts with:
Argentina captain Lionel Messi =
Place is in international games.

View with:
Benaglio =
Be in goal.

David Bourke with:
Edward Samuel Miliband =
A dull man, sir...a dim dweeb!

Ellie Dent with:
William Shakespeare, the Bard =
His drama, Lear, is bleak ... he wept.

Rosie Perera with:
Justin Ross Harris ~
strains his jurors.

Ellie Dent with:
Ladies Singles Winner Petra Kvitova =
Viewed a sparkling star: I love tennis!

Scott Gardner with:
The English poet William Shakespeare =
He writes Hamlet. He's, like, so appealing!

Scott Gardner with:
English author Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley =
Oh, she will tell scary tale of a hungry monster!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Rumeysa Gelgi =
I sure am leggy.

David Bourke with:
Alfredo Stèfano di Stèfano Laulhè =
A thousand Real footie fans felled.

David Bourke with:
The mayor of New Orleans, Clarence Ray Nagin =
Oh, we're angry! Ten years in a cell for a conman!

Tony Crafter with:
Escort Alix Tichelman =
Narcotic sex? I'm lethal!

Jason Lofts with:
Argentina's star Lionel Messi =
Man's real interest is in goals.

Julian Lofts with:
Mrs Eileen Ford =
Models' refiner.

Tyler Severance with:
Andrew Tahmooressi =
Homeward assertion.

Adie Pena with:
Felipe, Prince of Asturias =
Ruler of Spain? Epic fiesta!

David Bourke with:
Smaller, reduced scars, with ~
Sir Marcus Edward Setchell

Rosie Perera with:
Maria Putin =
I am a turnip.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont =
End insane errors - vote for best man!

David Bourke with:
Christopher Copeland =
Prisoner-clothed chap!

Meyran Kraus with:
The action star Chris Hemsworth =
He's cast in Thor (with chest armor).

Meyran Kraus with:
The US pianist Liberace =
A hairpiece isn't subtle!

db with:
The Australian model Robyn Lawley =
I see her tall, natural, womanly body.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Non-filter Camel cigarettes =
I'll get cancer faster into me!

2nd - Jason Lofts with:
Hamas (the Palestinian terrorist organisation) ~
is a threat - it's prone to harming Israel as nation.

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Generalised Anxiety Disorder =
Edgy inside, so retire and relax!

Christopher Sturdy with:
The World Cup in Rio =
Wild corruption, eh?!

Tyler Severance with:
Who settled ~
the Old West?

David Bourke with:
The International Association for the Study of Pain =
If it hurts a tad, only one option is for an anaesthetic!

Rosie Perera with:
Traveling the Camino de Santiago (de Compostela) =
Devotees (most Catholic) on a pilgrimage. Andante!

Rosie Perera with:
Breatharians ~
are rash; ban it!

View with:
The Metropolitan Museum of Art =
Some fit temple to our human art!

Scott Gardner with:
The Sexaholics Anonymous program =
Short course's goal? Ex-nymphomania!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Zion National Park, Springdale, Utah =
An unspoilt path, grand like Arizona

Dharam Khalsa with:
The US desert enthusiast went to ~
the Southwestern United States.

Rosie Perera with:
The Washington Rhubarb Growers =
How's that big narrow green shrub?

Scott Gardner with:
The Kia Motors Corporation =
I shoot to import Korean car.

Larry Brash with:
Social Anxiety Disorder =
I say directions: "Do relax!"

Rosie Perera with:
The Social Anxiety Disorder =
I don't coexist easily. Harder.

Tyler Severance with:
The offshore Cayman accounts =
Fact: My ocean-front cash house!

Jason Lofts with:
Die deutsche Fussballnationalmannschaft
Lead in the final match but lose and fans cuss.

Tony Crafter with:
The Australian World Heritage Site, Fraser Island =
Sands, water, a lush rain forest, are all there. I dig it!

David Bourke with:
The Rothschild family =
Loads, them. Filthy rich!

Scott Gardner with:
A Rothschild =
Rich; had lots.

nedesto with:
Creationists' Theory of Intelligent Design =
"I try ignoring these little facts on one side."

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Yamal Peninsula in Siberia =
Is any methane plausible in air?

Rosie Perera with:
Israel's Ben Gurion International Airport (Tel Aviv) =
US to repeal ban on airlines arriving to it in travel.

Ellie Dent with:
The American Crocodile: Crocodylus acutus =
Oh, caution! Crude, scarcely Democratic soul!

Rosie Perera with:
The atomic U.S. B-29 Superfortress (the "Enola Gay") in WWII =
Swiftest airplane crew gets Hiroshima...on YouTube!

Adie Pena with:
Parlophone Records, Ltd. ‡
Order cheap old torn LPs.


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - nedesto with:
Twelve months within one year:
1. January
2. February
3. March
4. April
5. May
6. June
7. July
8. August
9. September
10. October
11. November
12. December
=
1. New Year
2. Carnival
3. Rejuvenate
4. Beauty
5. Buttercup
6. Enjoy Summer!
7. Blueberry Bloom
8. Meander'n
9. Warm
10. Majestic
11. Frosty
12. High Hope

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Seven New World Wonders:

1. Great Wall of China
2. Christ the Redeemer
3. Petra
4. Chichen Itza
5. Colosseum
6. Taj Mahal
7. Machu Picchu
=
How a child reacts in them:

1. Mud fence.
2. Ethnic Jesus.
3. Grim cave.
4. Where's the churro?
5. Open mall.
6. Wizard place.
7. What, no escalator?

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Five of the best exercises women can do:
1. Swimming
2. Tai Chi
3. Strength training
4. Kegel exercises
5. Walking
=
1. Kicks in fresh water
2. Movements with grace
3. Bear weight
4. Incontinence, sad sex life
5. Six miles - get going!

Julian Lofts with:
Netanyahu warns Hamas will pay for the deaths of three Israeli teenagers†=
†An eye for an eye saga - herewith Israel's harsh painful Old Testament wrath

David Bourke with:
Painter Rolf Harris' famous catchphrase "Can you tell what it is yet?" =
Yes...that picture shows one plain-filthy character from Australia.

Rosie Perera with:
The Encyclopedia of Hurricanes, Typhoons and Cyclones =
Cynic eyes copy on shelf: "Ah, includes no tornado chapter?"

David Bourke with:
The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists =
Agency are chosen to gain access inside girls' front-bottoms.

David Bourke with:
The National Association of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors =
Can inter a stiff in dirt in a hole, or indeed one can also end up all toasted!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Antibiotic resistance: Cameron warns of medical 'dark ages' =
A crisis. Be alarmed, we risk infections a doctor can't manage.

Julian Lofts with:
Australiaís last indigenous police tracker, Barry Port, has been described as a living legend†=
†Cape York Aboriginal sleuth: "I began trailing rustlers, card bandits, escapees and evildoers"

Dharam Khalsa with:
Pakistani newlyweds decapitated by bride's family in honor killing =
Nowadays, get blessed initially, or kidnapped by criminal with knife.

David Bourke with:
Rolf Harris gets a sentence of five years nine months in custody =
For many infants feel a stretch inside so serves you right, nonce.

Ellie Dent with:
START your 'puter as usual. Seem OK? OPEN a new file.

A name? Well, let's see: Housework.

But you SEND to RECYCLE.

EMPTY that sorry BIN.
=
Your PC will ask, 'Are you sure you want to DELETE
Housework permanently?'

Ans. is a calm 'Yes'.

PRESS the mouse button....

Feel better?

Julian Lofts with:
A high end escort, Alix Tichelman, left a Google executive to die on his yacht =
Sex, vice, tattoos, cocaine, get high, heroin, a hit, minx fled, death, eulogy, a cell....

Tony Crafter with:
'Rolling Stone's Top Three Most Annoying Songs.

3. Baha Men, "Who Let The Dogs Out"
2. Los Del Rio, "Macarena"
1. Black Eyed Peas, "My Humps"
=
3. Got a 'Best Dance Record' Grammy? Hell, no!
2. Nymphets shake arse at two old men in suits
1. No-bones hip-hop eulogy to a gal's melons

Tyler Severance with:
News of today
US/Mexico border
Israel in Gaza again
President Obama impeachment proceedings?
=
Immigrant exodus by stagecoach
Zion's ace iron dome defense on war
Imperial debating appears.

Julian Lofts with:
McDonalds is the official restaurant of the FIFA World Cup =
Harsh critics: "It is damned awful food! A lot of crap! Effluent!"

David Bourke with:
The Prime Minister David Cameron's "Night of the Long Knives" Conservative Party cabinet reshuffle
=
Vile toff's vote-nab feminism venture proved he's simply rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic!

Rosie Perera with:
Man sets house afire trying to kill spider with lighter, spray paint =
Got insight? Uh...there are smarter ways to kill an itsy flippin' spider.

Julian Lofts with:
Massive crater appears at the 'end of the world' on Yamal Peninsula =
Neat assumptive theory: aliens from space or a landward elephant?

Julian Lofts with:
Isn't the crash of Malaysia Airlines aeroplane near Grabovo in the Donetsk region, in the Ukraine ~
a horror? O, insane renegades point a cannon, fire a Buk missile in anger. Their hit takes a heavy toll.

David Bourke with:
The Malaysia Airlines slogan "Journeys Are Made by the People You Travel With" =
The new saying: "Do have a really enjoyable trip. Alas, your time here is almost up!"

Jason Lofts with:
Former Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi dodges seven years in jail over "Ruby" case =
Perverse voyeur Il Cavaliere's jubilant. Analysis: some sin, no crime, God forbid!

Tyler Severance with:
Stanley Kubrick directed the fake apollo mission moon landing=
One small dupe for man, one giant credibility looked sick. Thanks!

Jason Lofts with:
Asymmetric man-thongs are the most insane thing a man can wear this summer =
Mamma mia! Men's teensy swim or suntanning garments (crotch sheath?) are a hit!

Dharam Khalsa with:
Five of the best places in the world to retire:
1. Panama
2. Ecuador
3. Malaysia
4. Costa Rica
5. Spain
=
1. Topmost
2. Very cheap costs
3. Tap nature (Airline? No! Hawaii!!)
4. Affordable medical care
5. Siesta

Adie Pena with:
Top Five Alcohol-Consuming Countries
1 Luxembourg
2 France
3 Austria
4 Estonia
5 Germany
=
1 Connecting to your mixologist
2 Champagne in use
3/4/5 Manufacture various beers for all.


THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
=
Theme of '71 to '76

Fashion:
Tie-dyed tee
Bell bottoms
Huge heels

Tunes:
The Jackson Five
Pink Floyd
"Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog"

For News:
"Money"
"Glamour"

On TV:
"Hee Haw"
"The Smothers Brothers"

The Deep Stuff:
Nixon decline
Honed technology

2nd - David Bourke with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
=
A schoolboy of 16, I thought I knew everything. Now, just some befuddled old man of 77, father, grandfather too...seems I know almost completely nothing. The journey, nevertheless, has left me blessed. Oh, the benefit of experience, huh?

3rd - Adie Pena with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
=
The Recipe for Death

One Heavy-Handed Dictator's Ego
671 Youthful Jungle Fighters
Helpless Women Bought With Money
A Few Resentful Men
7 Defense Lobbyists
One Book of Jihad

Mix all the elements. Cook for months. Then serve hot.

Christopher Sturdy with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
=
These men who justify jihad, then beseech meek 16-year-olds to kill themselves in the name of Holy War, deserve nothing.
But the hate the US foster through foreign policy allows no end of unexploded bombs.
An effect got from one...? 7/7

nedesto with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
=
Too much despotism spread, to consume the work of Thomas Jefferson and all of them who kindled the globe on the Fourth of July, 1776. They will be over by the contrary engines; on these feeble engines have the flames extinguished!

Dharam Khalsa with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
=
Gentlemen,

Was Flight 17, not one of the other jumbo jets from Holland which arrived safely (see flight 67), shot down, or faked by explosive they used to enmesh the US in a foe battle?

Key men on the scene should be forthcoming!

Europe

Dharam Khalsa with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
=
Just shy of 17, I feel enjoyment from "The Music Man" on TV, whereby "76 trombones led the big parade, with one hundred and ten cornets close at hand". The bookish gal exposes the foul money thief, though evokes the fellow's glee for life.

Christopher Sturdy with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
=
Basketball team needed: 6'7" - 7'1"

Well-heeled bouncy men, who think highly of themselves on their feet
Tax offsets offered on large feet or shoes.
See the catch... No Travel!
Job's yours, if you don't mind jumping through hoops.

No white men!

Rosie Perera with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
=
How do we expect to bring 1776-style democracy to the rest of the world if it's so broken at home? Behold, gentlemen, our freedom's fallen, maybe's even half gone. The enemy, those unjust jihad knaves, hope to finish off the US in hell. Ugh!


Julian Lofts with:
> "The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
> =
> "The last voyage of English explorer James Cook began 1776 whenst he set off from Plymouth, UK, on the boat Resolution. The men fed on bully beef and limes. None got scurvy. See when he died, whether or not the chiefs did eat him" - J. Lofts

Ellie Dent with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe
to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume
these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
=
"The weak have one weapon; the errors of those who think they're strong" -
Georges Bidault. He might just believe that men at 17 enjoy fun, childhood stuff.
By 67, men held experience of life. Shouldn't common sense blossom, defeat folly?

Tony Crafter with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
=
In 1677, John and Nicolaas van der Heyden patented the fire extinguisher.

The H-bomb; home computers; TVs; GM foods; Elton John; the useless GW Bush, fellow-fake Tony Blair, were yet to come.

Oh, for the gleeful times of those Heyden folk!

Larry Brash with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson.
=
From the high jungles of Vietnam to the deserts of Iran, one asks oneself why freedom, which seemed to be highly honourable, yet the US has invented 1677 toxic pollutants, jet fuel, and new bomb technology to seek help for freedom.
r>
Maurice Goddard with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson
=
Ho ho ho! Come see the dirty tricks' fool!
Hellhound moved feebly. Scheme's folly befell President Nixon.
He stood for the high jump after the Watergate break-in on June 17, nineteen-seventy-two.
Goof smelt of humbug! He was at 6's and 7's!

Meyran Kraus with:
"The flames kindled on the Fourth of July, 1776, have spread over too much of the globe to be extinguished by the feeble engines of despotism; on the contrary, they will consume these engines and all who work them." - Thomas Jefferson

=

"Newsflash, y'all! The smog level reached a new low of eighty seven percent this month! Just open the bunker door, grab some of those lead uniforms, then head off to the old McOxygen! YOLO, homies!" (Duke Justin Bieber the Fifteenth, 6717)


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - nedesto with:
Signs You have Grown Up:

- Your house plants are all alive... only you are not smoking any of them

- Having sex in a twin bed is really out of the question

- You keep more food than beer in the fridge

- Seven AM is the time that you are getting up, instead of going to bed

- You really watch the Weather Channel

- Your friends marry and divorce instead of hooking up and breaking up

- You are the one calling the police station because, "Those no-good kids next door just would not turn down their effing stereo!"

- Older relatives now feel comfortable telling dirty jokes around you

- You do not know what time Taco Bell closes anymore

- Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up

- All that you feed your dogs is Science Diet instead of random McDonalds leftovers

- Eating breakfast foods at breakfast time

- You go in to a drug store for ibuprofen, not for pregnancy tests ~

- You suddenly hear your favorite song everywhere... in elevators

- To sleep on the couch hurts your back nowadays

- Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "pretty dressed up"

- You no longer sleep from noon to six

- Dinner and a movie is a whole date instead of the beginning of one

- Eating a basket of chicken wings at three AM would decidedly upset, rather than settle, your stomach

- You grudgingly go from one hundred twenty days vacation to fourteen

- A four dollar bottle of bubbly is no longer "the real good stuff"

- The famous excuse of "I just can't drink like I used to," replaces, "I'm absolutely never going to drink wine again."

- Most of the time and energy you spend in front of a computer is for actual academic work

- You no longer drink at home to save money before going out to a bar

- You read this list with desperation, looking for one sign that it doesn't apply to you!

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Five Unusual Facts About Films

- Darth Vader only appears for 12-odd minutes in the first Star Wars film.

- The mask Michael Myers had is a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

- OJ Simpson was considered for the role of The Terminator but director James Cameron thought he didn't quite fit in his role because he was "too nice".

- Amazingly, Sean Connery wore a wig in all of his performances as Bond - every single one.

- A Wizard of Oz screenplay was written by Ogden Nash but never used.

=

Seven (plus) Fascinating Music Facts

- The only ZZ Top member without a giant beard is drummer Frank Beard.

- No one knows just where Mozart is buried.

- None of the Beatles could read or write notes very well.

- Elvis and Sinatra did not write any of their songs.

- Eminem is afraid of giraffes.

- Queen's Brian May now has a PhD in Astrophysics.

- Michael Jackson's autopsy now proves that: 1. He wore a piece; 2. He actually suffered from a rare medical condition that made his skin lighter.

3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Top Ten Interesting Facts About Thomas Jefferson
10. Thomas Jefferson has a unique tombstone for a president.
9. Thomas Jefferson was the only two-term president who never vetoed a bill.
8. Thomas Jefferson was a terrible public speaker.
7. Jefferson was subjected to one of the worst smear campaigns in presidential history when he first ran for office.
6. Thomas Jefferson was very religious.
5. Thomas Jefferson was a very casual person.
4. Thomas Jefferson loved wine.
3. Thomas Jefferson was a talented musician.
2. While Thomas Jefferson was a staunch supporter of the freedom of religion, he advocated the separation of church and state.
1. Thomas Jefferson was publicly opposed to slavery.
=
10. Jefferson’s tombstone has no hint of any former presidency.
9. George Washington used the power of veto twice; James Madison used it a total of seven times.
8. Thomas Jefferson frequently faltered or spoke in a soft voice, though the speeches were effective.
7. Blabbermouths started rumors that Jefferson was an apostate.
6. Thomas Jefferson paraphrased some of Jesus' moral truths.
5. Jefferson wore a comfortable brown coat, corduroy breeches, wool hose, or pajamas with slippers.
4. Jefferson was a connoisseur of wine.
3. Thomas Jefferson played the violin.
2. He justly maintained distinct laws.
1. Jefferson's personal affair with a farm slave resulted in five infants. That's what can happen!


Tony Crafter with:
THE TOP TEN SEXIEST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD ACCORDING TO MEN (As listed by Miss Travel.com)
1. Brazil
2. Russia
3. Colombia
4. Great Britain
5. Philippines
6. Spain
7. Australia
8. Bulgaria
9. South Africa
10. Canada

THE TOP TEN SEXIEST COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD ACCORDING TO WOMEN
1. Australia
2. Italy
3. England
4. Scotland
5. Spain
6. America
7. Ireland
8. Brazil
9. Canada
10. Netherlands

=

1. Samba beauties
2. A riddle, a paradox
3. Hot Latinas!
4. Charming hellcats
5. Filipina pinups!
6. Castanet cuties
7. Bonzer Sheilas!
8. Erotic and exotic
9. Classic Cape Town ladies
10. Our girls beat USA!

1. Bronzed Bondis
2. Roman Romeos
3. Whining wimps
4. Tartan terrors
5. Typical toreadors
6. Lady-lovers
7. Ain't intellectual!
8. Ain't Argentinian
9. Ain't American!
10. Dutch delight

Jason Lofts with:
"The prospect for the human race is sombre beyond all precedent. Mankind are faced with a clear-cut alternative: either we shall all perish, or we shall have to acquire some slight degree of common sense. A great deal of new political thinking will be necessary if utter disaster is to be averted."
=
The pacifist Bertrand Russell appealed: "We deem it elementary that evil megalomaniac men's rash use of deadliest nuclear weapons to resolve their quarrels is both grave and not ecological. Therefore we beseech the world politicians to reflect and backtrack ere we finish nightmarishly."

Ellie Dent with:
SLOGANS FOR WOMEN

I am busy. You are ugly. Have a nice day.

Do not start with me, boyfriend. You really won't win.

You have the right to remain silent, OK? So SHUT UP.

Do not p**s me off! I'm short of places to hide the bodies.

OK, guys have their feelings. But, like, who cares?

=

They're NOT hot flashes! No, rubbish. They're huge power surges.

I do not believe in lots of miracles. I rely on them.

Do watch the bad stuff. Always. Don't make me have to go kill you.

And the point you're sort of making is . . . ?

How can I miss you, stupid, if you never go away?

Christopher Sturdy with:
Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.
=
Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone; children's story by JK Rowling (even if every mum everywhere read the set!)
Unusual wee boy many in Hogwarts trust. By the final adventure he'd accepted duty to find enemy Voldemort's empty soul cut up into horcruxes.

David Bourke with:

The Right Honourable Esther Louise McVey, the Minister of State for
Employment and the Conservative MP for the Wirral West constituency

=

She's most fit! A northern temptress!
One cute Scouse butterfly, if I may!
I'm one Tory convert ever in love with her
..."Alright, ta pet. Calm down, eh eh!"

Julian Lofts with:
An Updated List of The Top Ten of The World's Most Dangerous and Troublesome Holiday Destinations
1. Afghanistan
2. Mount Everest
3. Honduras
4. Iraq
5. Egypt
6. India
7. Mali
8. Detroit
9. Somalia
10. North Korea

=

1. Nation of the evil antiquated Taliban (Satan)
2. Deaths at high altitude
3. Murders
4. IEDs
5. Unrest, poisonous food
6. Women get raped
7. Army horrors
8. Thefts, looting
9. Mad pirates, neonatal odds
10. Loony Kim





THE SPECIAL CATEGORY


1st - Meyran Kraus with:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

=

Stages In A Week-Long Romance

Such bosom-aches I felt the day I met her,
But then, I could not gather how I feel;
My daydreams in the second one fared better:
More passionate and rather more surreal;
The third came with the notion that no guy
Must ever have revered a mistress more,
While I soared to some monumental highs
Beneath her flaring goodness on day four;
Then, on day five, some things did not age well:
Those small compulsions or those loathsome tics...
From harmless bliss, it turned to stressful hell
Around the final hours of day six.
So, as it has to happen to all men,
Day seven comes, and I'm alone again.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
OH, WHAT A CIRCUS
From 'Evita'

[Che:]
Oh what a circus, oh what a show
Argentina has gone to town
Over the death of an actress called Eva Peron
We've all gone crazy
Mourning all day and mourning all night
Falling over ourselves to get all of the misery right

Oh what an exit, that's how to go
When they're ringing your curtain down
Demand to be buried like Eva Peron
It's quite a sunset
And good for the country in a roundabout way
We've made the front pages of all the world's papers today

But who is this Santa Evita?
Why all this howling, hysterical sorrow?
What kind of goddess has lived among us?
How will we ever get by without her?

She had her moments, she had some style
The best show in town was the crowd
Outside the Casa Rosada crying, "Eva Peron"
But that's all gone now
As soon as the smoke from the funeral clears
We're all gonna see and how, she did nothing for years

[Crowd:]

Salve regina mater misericordiae
Vita dulcedo et spes nostra
Salve salve regina
Ad te clamamus exules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus gementes et flentes
O clemens o pia

[Che:]
You let down your people Evita
You were supposed to have been immortal
That's all they wanted, not much to ask for
But in the end you could not deliver

Sing you fools, but you got it wrong
Enjoy your prayers because you haven't got long
Your queen is dead, your king is through
And she's not coming back to you

Show business kept us all alive
Since seventeen October 1945
But the star has gone, the glamour's worn thin
That's a pretty bad state for a state to be in

Instead of government we had a stage
Instead of ideas, a prima donna's rage
Instead of help we were given a crowd
She didn't say much, but she said it loud

Sing you fools, but you got it wrong
Enjoy your prayers because you haven't got long
Your queen is dead, your king is through
She's not coming back to you

[Crowd:]
Salve regina mater misericordiae
Vita dulcedo et spes nostra
Salve salve regina Peron
Ad te clamamus exules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus gementes et flentes
O clemens o pia

[Eva:]
Don't cry for me Argentina
For I am ordinary, unimportant
And undeserving of such attention
Unless we all are, I think we all are
So share my glory, so share my coffin
So share my glory, so share my coffin

[Che:]
It's our funeral too

=

DON'T CRY FOR TEAM ARGENTINA
Aria (by various desolate Argentines)

[Narrator:]
Oh, what a circus, oh what a show,
Argentina has come to town,
But in the Grand Football Final they've let themselves down,
The fans are mourning,
Mourning their dreams and counting the cost,
Mourning as hard as can be, a trophy their heroes have lost

Oh, what an exit, it's not the way
The script was supposed to have gone,
Now they're dead and buried like Eva Peron,
It's quite a blunder
And sad for the country in so many ways,
For in the newspapers today, the Germans
get all of the praise!

So, who are these German supremos?
Why all the syrupy adulation?
They are not gods, they are not immortal,
But, gee, that goal was something quite special...

They had sleek Messi, he had some style,
And many folk voyaged for miles
To the Estadio Maracana to cheer for their side,
But they've gone home now,
Off to their shanties, to their hidey-holes,
Reflecting how it would've been, if Messi had just scored that goal...

[Crowd:]

Viva our squad; viva our coach, Sabella!
Viva Presidente Cristina!
Viva our proud Argentina!
This was but a hiccup, we are not beaten yet,
We'll rise like a phoenix, from the ashes
And we'll soon have the World Cup again!

[Narrator:]
You blew your chance team Argentina
You missed two easy goals Higuain and Messi,
One goal would do it, not much to ask for,
But sad to say you could not deliver.

[Female Presidente Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner:]
Come sing our usual victory songs,
So much was good, gee it wasn't all wrong,
We've lost a fight but not the war
And we'll be bigger than we were before!

Those Germans do not always thrive
They proved it May 1945
They gave up then, they could again,
Some day we'll cause them football pain!

Come sing our usual victory songs
Unlike Brasil we've got a gong
A silver's good, we're runners-up,
True gold awaits us at the next World Cup!

Sing of success, sing of love
A song of glory to God above,
I'll lead us to such greatness soon,
To find success we must seek the moon...

So, don't cry for team Argentina,
Judge it an upset, not a disaster,
And undeserving of your deep sorrow,
Some day you'll witness our full emergence,
For soon you'll see us, win The Malvinas
Yes, soon you'll see us, in The Malvinas.

[Voices of UK]
Yeah, ok. In your dreams lady!

3rd - David Bourke with:
Rolling Stone magazine's list of the one-hundred greatest guitarists of all time:

1. Jimi Hendrix
2. Duane Allman
3. B.B. King
4. Eric Clapton
5. Robert Johnson
6. Chuck Berry
7. Stevie Ray Vaughan
8. Ry Cooder
9. Jimmy Page
10 Keith Richards
11. Kirk Hammett
12. Kurt Cobain
13. Jerry Garcia
14. Jeff Beck
15. Carlos Santana
16. Johnny Ramone
17. Jack White
18. John Frusciante
19. Richard Thompson
20. James Burton
21. George Harrison
22. Mike Bloomfield
23. Warren Haynes
24. David Evans (The Edge)
25. Freddy King
26. Tom Morello
27. Mark Knopfler
28. Stephen Stills
29. Ron Asheton
30. Buddy Guy
31. Dick Dale
32. John Cipollina
33/34. Lee Ranaldo/Thurston Moore
35. John Fahey
36. Steve Cropper
37. Bo Diddley
38. Peter Green
39. Brian May
40. John Fogerty
41. Clarence White
42. Robert Fripp
43. Eddie Hazel
44. Scotty Moore
45. Frank Zappa
46. Les Paul
47. T-Bone Walker
48. Joe Perry
49. John McLaughlin
50. Pete Townshend
51. Paul Kossoff
52. Lou Reed
53. Mickey Baker
54. Jorma Kaukonen
55. Ritchie Blackmore
56. Tom Verlaine
57. Roy Buchanan
58. Dickey Betts
59 & 60. Jonny Greenwood, Ed O'Brien
61. Ike Turner
62. Zoot Horn Rollo
63. Danny Gatton
64. Mick Ronson
65. Hubert Sumlin
66. Vernon Reid
67. Link Wray
68. Jerry Miller
69. Steve Howe
70. Eddie Van Halen
71. Lightnin' Hopkins
72. Joni Mitchell.
73. Trey Anastasio
74. Johnny Winter
75. Adam Jones
76. Ali Farka Toure
77. Henry Vestine
78. Robbie Robertson
79. Cliff Gallup
80. Robert Quine
81. Derek Trucks
82. David Gilmour
83. Neil Young
84. Eddie Cochran
85. Randy Rhoads
86. Tony Iommi
87. Joan Jett
88. Dave Davies
89. Dennes Dale Boon
90. Glen Buxton
91. Robby Krieger
92/93. Fred "Sonic" Smith/Wayne Kramer
94. Bert Jansch
95. Kevin Shields
96. Angus Young
97. Robert Randolph
98. Leigh Stephens
99. Greg Ginn
100. Kim Thayil

=

1. Justly No. One.
2. King on slide
3. Major blues legend
4. Nickname: God!
5. Soul sold to the Devil
6. Johnny B. Goode
7. Hendrix proxy
8. Very versatile
9. Zeppelin
10. Jagger's junkie
11. Enter Metallica thrash
12. Nirvana
13. Skunk-joint-jammer
14. Yardbird
15. Jingo!
16. Ersatz punk rocker
17. White Stripe jerk
18. Red Hot Chili Pepper
19. Beardy folky
20. Fender Tele man
21. Hare Krishna junior Beatle
22. Kosher twelve-bar jew
23. Allman
24. Trademark? Only effects pedals.
25. Going down!
26. Rage Against The Machine
27. Dire droning Northerner
28. CSN
29. Stooge jerk
30. Home: Chicago
31. Surfer
32. Quicksilver Messenger
33/34. Sonic Youth
35. Folk hero
36. Mr Green Onions
37. *That* beat!
38. Early Mac
39. Majesty, royalty! Sorry? Ranking just THIRTY-NINE???!!! You're joking!
40. C.C.R.
41. Byrd
42. Crimson king
43. He oozed funk
44. Elvis sidekick
45. Mother of Invention
46. Gibson guitar named after him.
47. Steaked his claim.
48. Aerosmith
49. Very fast
50. Who?
51. Free
52. Enjoy an NY Wild Side walk
53. Jobbing hired hand
54. Hot Tuna jams
55. Purple
56. Harsh, tinny (Television)
57. Country
58. Allman
59/60. Jarring in Radiohead
61. Mr Tina
62. Beefheart hobo
63. Terminal angst...RIP.
64. Under-rated Jean Genie
65. Blues
66. Living Colour
67. Rumble
68. Moby Grape
69. Londoner joins Yes
70. Two-hand tap
71. Blues
72. Thorny canuck
73. Phish
74. Rank No. Two, I reckon.
75. Tool
76. African
77. Canned Heat
78. The Band
79. Blue Cap
80. Not heard of him
81. Boring blues
82. Joined Pink Floyd
83. Hippy
84. C'mon Everybody!
85. Fret-shredder
86. Sabbath metal
87. Runaway
88. Kink brother
89. Minuteman
90. Alice Cooper novelty horror
91. Door
92/93. Detroit rock
94. Folk
95. My Bloody Valentine
96. Horizontal AC/DC joker
97. On pedal steel
98. Remember Blue Cheer? No, nor me.
99. Black Flag
100. Soundgarden
Julian Lofts with:
DON'T CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA

As sung by Ms Sarah Brightman and Elaine Page in the musical based on Evita Peron's life
Lyrics: Sir Tim Miles Rice
Music: Baron Andrew Lloyd Webber

It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your love after all that I've done

You won't believe me
All you will see is a girl you once knew
Although she's dressed up to the nines
At sixes and sevens with you

I had to let it happen, I had to change
Couldn't stay all my life down at heel
Looking out of the window, staying out of the sun

So I chose freedom
Running around, trying everything new
But nothing impressed me at all
I never expected it too

Don't cry for me Argentina
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don't keep your distance

And as for fortune, and as for fame
I never invited them in
Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired

They are illusions
They are not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time
I love you and hope you love me

Don't cry for me Argentina
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don't keep your distance

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at me to know
That every word is true =
DON'T SCORE MESSI FOR ARGENTINA

It won't be Diego, or the "Hand of God"
Who wins the World Cup title tomorrow
Die deutsche Mannschaft will annihilate you

No one believed you're the Messi-ah
You mustn't destroy the team you loved
We were alive, dominant victors
Merely winning the semi seven to one (OTT!)

I had to let Khedira play, I extolled my team
Hummels, Thom Muller, Mesut the little Turk. I love
Lurking on the bench, avoiding the tacky telly

I chose Lahm as captain
Short like you, trying everything overt and new
Lithe Neuer too impressed in goal, but
Truth is we never expected you to run

Don't score Messi for Argentina
Truth is you've hated me, despite
My fashionably long hair and
The sexy dark shirts
I promise you a lovely win
Please keep your distance (I bite!)

And as for football and as for infamy
I never teetered
I thought when we won the test to the death

Poxy Herr Klinsmann
Could only manage third in South Africa
The secret deed was getting Klose in again
I love to win and hope you love us

Don't score Messi for Argentina
Truth is you've hated me, despite
My fashionably long hair
The sexy blue shirts
I promised our fans
Please keep your distance

Yet is that torment really fair?
You would always be my special friend
If you failed to net the winning goal
Why I'd truly adore you my bonny little man!

Meyran Kraus with:

DEEP PURPLE - JACK RUBY

Ah, there's no method in my madness, no craft, no guile
No expertise, no self assuring smile
No wizardry or witchcraft, no crass deceit
No dark conspiracies, I stand on my own two feet...
I'm coming through just like Jack Ruby, hey, yeah

And I'm ragged around the edges but I got control
There's no way around it and I got control
I reach out for my program, still got control
Straight down to business, who needs control...
I've got panache just like Jack Ruby

I don't beg forgiveness, I don't beg at all
And I beg to differ 'cos I got the ball
There was no invitation, you're not my type
And what's gone, it ain't worth having, kiss it all goodbye...
Right on the money just like Jack Ruby, yeah, yeah

=

G.W. JR.

Late into the nineties, came one tricky man
To con society with one deftly cunning plan:
George used his name that did mean something many years ago
To get right to the very top and make a bit of dough...
No, I'll never get G.W. Jr.

George tried his best to spark the public's curiosity
But only dealt in idiotic simplicity
Such crappy jokes turned out to be hard to ignore -
But like victims of abuse, they asked for an encore...
So I can't understand G.W. Jr.

But as that annoying bozo rose and took the floor
As a proxy of one strong boss who only wanted war,
This second film had gone beyond only 'harrowing'.
Why make Jar Jar deliver such a crucial thing?
Your horrid films stink, George Walton Lucas Jr.!


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - nedesto with:
Shit myself =
Filthy mess!

2nd - Tyler Severance with:
Stick it in there =
I think it's erect.

Eq3rd - David Bourke with:
Fisting an arsehole =
Shite on finger, alas!

Eq3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Farting in elevators =
It's one fragrant evil!

Tony Crafter with:
Personal anal bleaching =
'Blanch an arse pale' lingo

David Bourke with:
Martina Subertova =
Naive masturbator

Christopher Sturdy with:
Why do prisoners wear their uniform as they do? =
"My arse for hire". Trade yours in the 'shop window'!

Tyler Severance with:
Priest - "Father" =
The first rape.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Strip searching a drug mule 'cos ~
smuggler hid narcotics up arse.

Andrew Brehaut with:
Semi hard-on =
Rod in shame.

Tony Crafter with:
Having insertion =
She ain't no virgin!

View with:
The liars =
Real shit!

Christopher Sturdy with:
This 'fundraiser', Christopher Copeland ~
is horrid cheat and proper selfish cunt.

Larry Brash with:
Vaginal discharge =
Evil cad: "Hag in rags!"

Adie Pena with:
Anodyspareunia =
Arse pain and you.

HSP with:
Arsehole fisting =
Feel a ring is shot


The Anagrammy Awards