1st - Tyler Severance with:
Essential workers =
We're not less a risk.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
If someone isn't socially distancing behind you... fart! =
One noisy air biscuit and they'll sod off. It's menacing!
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Some fat bigot is in charge ~
so it's time for a big change.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Loses a lot if in ~
self-isolation.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Video conferencing =
Confined, I converge.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Full speed ahead =
Upheld safe lead.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Sarcastic remarks =
Ire as smart cracks.
Ellie Dent with:
Make do and mend ~
demanded a monk!
Meyran Kraus with:
A Cantonese doctor =
Tend to Corona case.
Meyran Kraus with:
Some fat bigot is in charge ~
so it's time for a big change.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Sanctimony =
My saint con
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Travelling abroad =
A global-driven art
Rosie Perera with:
Unsolved mysteries =
Very solemn studies.
Tom Myers with:
God is ineffable =
Belief so fading.
Tom Myers with:
The prophecy about Armageddon =
A Trump epoch and goodbye Earth
Tom Myers with:
The god of your understanding =
They are not found doing drugs.
Tom Myers with:
We are all going to die =
Religion: we got a deal....
Tom Myers with:
No White House briefings ~
wherein the info is bogus
Tom Myers with:
A life with no regrets =
Otherwise faltering.
Tom Myers with:
Let's take a sidebar =
Talks are best idea
Tom Myers with:
I have issued a stay-in-bed order =
Hide over a tiny disease? Absurd!
Tony Crafter with:
If someone isn't socially distancing behind you... fart! =
One noisy air biscuit and they'll sod off. It's menacing!
Tyler Severance with:
Essential workers =
We're not less a risk.
Tyler Severance with:
Essential workers =
We're no less at risk.
View with:
Propaganda =
Pro-pagan ad
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The American thriller 'Contagion' =
Recall it in the Corona nightmare.
2nd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
A Norman Rockwell oil painting =
American-looking print on wall.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
American motion picture, The Shawshank Redemption =
Prison shocker we nominated a triumph at the cinema!
Dharam Khalsa with:
"Tea for the Tillerman" by singer Cat Stevens (Yusuf) =
Recall strong tunes. It must have been fifty years!
Ellie Dent with:
Thine Be The Glory =
Thereby One Light.
Meyran Kraus with:
The American thriller 'Contagion' =
Recall it in the Corona nightmare.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
A Norman Rockwell oil painting =
American-looking print on wall.
Tony Crafter with:
American motion picture, The Shawshank Redemption =
Prison shocker we nominated a triumph at the cinema!
View with:
All-new 'Saturday Night Live At Home' =
Timely alternative show and laugh
1st - Tony Crafter with:
Captain Tom Moore's charts hit - 'You'll Never Walk Alone' =
A plucky war hero can stroll the miles to move a nation.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Corona world issue =
Our Earth is now closed.
3rd - View with:
Pandemic =
PM can die.
Brian Taylor with:
"I'm covered in Jesus' blood!" =
Mob jeers: "COVID delusion!"
Christopher Sturdy with:
Face mask =
Fake scam.
Christopher Sturdy with:
What is the future for international travel now? =
Leaner. Not worth it. Innate threat of awful virus!
Christopher Sturdy with:
Infection cured or... ~
reduction in force
David Bourke with:
Captain Thomas Moore =
A composite marathon!
Dean Mayer with:
The coronavirus pandemic =
Admire not China's cover-up.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Trump is pushing the limits of presidential powers =
In mire, his last few supporting people distrust him.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Trump is pushing the limits of presidential powers =
Impulse is with emphasis on interrupted golf trips!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Forest fires near defunct Chernobyl nuclear plant =
Sadly, the recent burns offer painful concern later.
Don P. Fortier with:
Covid Nineteen Virus =
Innocent die / survive.
Ellie Dent with:
The war veteran Thomas Moore =
Hear warmth move one to tears.
John Murray with:
Stop treating us like children =
Keir's plotting curt headlines
John Murray with:
The Queen has addressed the nation on coronavirus =
HRH ranted on to TV audience hordes on a queasiness.
Josiah Winslow with:
Who will win the Presidential contest, Biden or Trump? =
I don't pin or predict winners...but with them, we all lose!
Josiah Winslow with:
Social distancing requirement =
Incoming and realistic request.
Maurice Goddard with:
Joseph Robinette Biden as President? =
In desire, BEST adept person in the job!
Maurice Goddard with:
Holding at least two metres' distance apart ~
matters, attested pals dealing with Corona.
Meyran Kraus with:
Facing more ~
fear coming.
Meyran Kraus with:
The Corona world issue =
Our Earth is now closed.
Meyran Kraus with:
Purell's hand sanitizer (in a portable pump bottle) =
...But bizarre Trump plans to pop this all in a needle?!
Meyran Kraus with:
The American President =
Sneer at "their" pandemic.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Stay home, protect the NHS, save lives =
Have to shelve my chosen States trip?
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Stay home, protect the NHS, save lives =
Schools this empty never have a test!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Playing solitaire with a deck of cards =
I fight lockdown as I lay created pairs
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The United States of America =
A free mandate to shut cities?
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Clergies' legal pardon =
Cardinal George Pell's?
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Joe Biden versus Donald Trump =
Old veep's snared in jumbo turd?
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Home entertainments =
Eminent Easter month.
Ralph Musco with:
Romance in the era of social distancing =
In America soon, self-dating or nice chat.
Rosie Perera with:
Coronavirus can spread through talking, breathing =
Larger nation can't speak, having to crush horrid bug.
Rosie Perera with:
Donald Trump's "Opening up America Again" guidelines =
Usage signaled murdering population in a pandemic.
Rosie Perera with:
Cover nose, no? Dr. Fauci vows a ~
second wave of coronavirus.
Tom Myers with:
Trump goes into hiding from the press =
Performing some other stupid things.
Tom Myers with:
A statement by the President in The Rose Garden. =
Meet the press, bait one, deny things and retreat.
Tom Myers with:
The use of two spaces after that period ~
faces the Word feature that opposes it.
Tom Myers with:
sex in the era of social distancing =
nix delight as fornication ceases
Tom Myers with:
Coronavirus stimulus checks =
Various lunch customers sick
Tom Myers with:
Trump's coronavirus response ~
is overrun, screams no support.
Tom Myers with:
The drug remdesivir =
Right serum derived.
Tom Myers with:
Fourteen consecutive days of declining cases =
Evidence's conclusion set guidance for safety.
Tom Myers with:
Linda Tripp dies =
April did-in pest
Tom Myers with:
President Donald Trump's re-election chances =
"Recent polls predict such are none. It's damned."
Tony Crafter with:
Captain Tom Moore's charts hit - 'You'll Never Walk Alone' =
A plucky war hero can stroll the miles to move a nation.
View with:
Coronavirus treatment =
A most certain turnover.
View with:
Pandemic =
PM can die.
1st - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Captain Thomas Moore =
I am atop on some chart
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Colonel Thomas Moore =
Momental hero. So cool!
3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
The American Vice President Mike Pence ‡
receive mask in the pandemic epicenter.
David Bourke with:
Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus =
By more deaths, he's dangerous!
David Bourke with:
The denturist Gabriel Wortman =
Terrible twisted gun marathon.
Dharam Khalsa with:
The American Vice President Mike Pence ‡
receive mask in the pandemic epicenter.
John Murray with:
Sir Keir Starmer =
Smarter? Riskier?
Meyran Kraus with:
Boris Johnson, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom =
Not being fit reminds their dim pom: "Our NHS is no joke!"
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Dr. Anthony Stephen Fauci =
Find any path the cure's on!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Linda Rose Tripp (nee Carotenuto) =
Sure, I reported a tape on Clinton!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
PM Boris Johnson =
I'm pro jobs on NHS!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Gabriel Wortman =
Male to bring war
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Captain Thomas Moore =
I am atop on some chart
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Colonel Thomas Moore ‡
Heroes all too common
Tom Myers with:
The President is a damn curmudgeon =
Don Trump, unashamed deceit. RESIGN!
Tony Crafter with:
Colonel Thomas Moore =
Momental hero. So cool!
View with:
Albert Sabin =
Stable brain
Adrian Hickford with:
The Royal Society of Literature =
They toil, create folio treasury.
Eq1st - Rosie Perera with:
Lysol Disinfecting Surface Wipes =
Solid, spiffy. Cleaning crews use it.
Eq1st - View with:
Swedish IKEA store =
See, this idea works.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The American President =
Sneer at "their" pandemic.
David Bourke with:
Nightingale hospital, east London =
As in: Handling all the soon to peg it.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The United States of America =
It fears that "outside" menace.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Universal Basic Income =
As nice as crumb I live on!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Universal basic income =
So I can live nicer as bum!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The United Nations World Food Programme =
Topmost in war on dread of old-time hunger
Rosie Perera with:
The World Health Organization =
Not allowing hazard to hit here.
Rosie Perera with:
Eastertide =
Eaters diet?
Rosie Perera with:
Lysol Disinfecting Surface Wipes =
Solid, spiffy. Cleaning crews use it.
Tom Myers with:
London's M-Twenty-five Motorway =
Oft slow movement on wintry day.
Tony Crafter with:
Public Health England ~
help an adult belching!
View with:
Swedish IKEA store =
See, this idea works.
1st - David Bourke with:
President of the United States of America, Donald John Trump
=
Offers up another random idea..."inject Dettol"! The man's stupid.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The 10 Plagues Inflicted On Egypt
1. Blood
2. Frogs
3. Lice (or gnats)
4. Flies
5. Livestock
6. Boils
7. Hail
8. Locust
9. Darkness
10. Death of firstborn
=
Top 10 Corona Ills
1. Cabin fever
2. Food binges
3. Lethargy
4. Dull life
5. Debt
6. Fears
7. Closed kiosks
8. Slightest sunlight
9. No air
10. Cost of T.P.
3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Harry and Meghan have announced they are to stop dealing with some British tabloids.=
And so...? Who's bothered! Blimey, have they heard that a pandemic is strangling our nation?
Christopher Sturdy with:
Don't get yourself arrested for antisocial behaviour.=
All stay in to defeat the coronavirus (or be rid of surge).
Christopher Sturdy with:
What's the best current source of epidemiological predictions and infectious disease expertise in America?
=
Bona fide academic A.S.Fauci or President Trump, who recites idiotic internet lies as gospel?
There is no excuse!
Christopher Sturdy with:
On-target earnings, commissions and performance related pay
~
is an apt pricing arrangement so freeloaders don't scam money.
David Bourke with:
President of the United States of America, Donald John Trump
=
Offers up another random idea..."inject Dettol"! The man's stupid.
David Bourke with:
The United States of America's president, Donald John Trump
=
The Jif treatments he propounded and outlined...it's "sarcasm"!
Dharam Khalsa with:
On a tour of a hillside monastery I walked past the kitchen,
where I watched a man frying chips.
~
Watching, I said, "Fantastic!" and asked, "So, you are the Friar, eh?"
Now the reply, "Well, I'm the chip monk..."
Maurice Goddard with:
Donald Trump's campaign slogan "Make America Great Again"
=
"I'm a damn large lame duck against a rampaging Corona pest!"
Maurice Goddard with:
Trump reportedly asked Dr. Anthony Fauci whether it was possible to allow the coronavirus to 'wash over' the US
=
Ouch! The swollen-headed raw stupidity of our POTUS ranter twirp has cost many lives, brave health workers too!
Maurice Goddard with:
Zebra Gives Birth to Rare Baby 'Zonkey' After Mating With a Donkey
=
Dizzying awesome, breathtaking, hotter, freak-born baby variety!
Maurice Goddard with:
Queen Elizabeth II, Great Britain's longest reigning monarch
=
No equal! Amazing bright noble is energetic! She ain't retiring!
Maurice Goddard with:
Vice president of the United States, Michael Richard Pence
=
"I detect the desperate arch-devil, Chief con Trump, is insane."
Meyran Kraus with:
The 10 Plagues Inflicted On Egypt
1. Blood
2. Frogs
3. Lice (or gnats)
4. Flies
5. Livestock
6. Boils
7. Hail
8. Locust
9. Darkness
10. Death of firstborn=
Top 10 Corona Ills
1. Cabin fever
2. Food binges
3. Lethargy
4. Dull life
5. Debt
6. Fears
7. Closed kiosks
8. Slightest sunlight
9. No air
10. Cost of T.P.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
"I'm not a doctor. But I'm, like, a person that has a good you-know-what"
=
How soon do others think again about a time to lock away D. Trump?
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Happy Hundredth Birthday Captain Thomas Moore NHS fundraising hero Thirtieth of April Twenty Twenty
=
When they print this heartfelt wish on any card and stamp, they honour that mighty proud Pride of Britain!
Tom Myers with:
The prices of some crude oils have gone into the negative
=
Noting those economics, have the idea: GIVE US FREE PETROL!
Tom Myers with:
The City of Gotham's Millionaire Bruce Wayne and his ward Dick Grayson
=
Two shifty gays are dwelling in a brick manor as the heroic dynamic duo?
Tom Myers with:
Recent polls: U.S. population does not like Trump's personality
=
POTUS opinion result: Ass, really irks people, untold contempt.
Tony Crafter with:
Harry and Meghan have announced they are to stop dealing with some British tabloids.
=
And so...? Who's bothered! Blimey, have they heard that a pandemic is strangling our nation?
1st - Tony Crafter with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
YOUR BEST OF BRITISH, YOUR NHS
In the NHS, we toil, no rest,
To quell coronavirus deaths,
But how do we guys inhibit fear,
When deficient in protective gear?
If we who heal cannot resist it,
Hey, we'll be just a sad obit statistic.
2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
"This is how I believe you can obliterate the virus :
*Chloroquine
*Sunlight
*Hot sweaty weather
*Tanning booths
*Withdraw to your Florida boat
*Injection with disinfectant"
(Let's see worse effects)
- Hubris by US President
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
* I obtusely side with any new cut to the NHS
* I vote not to raise the public wages of British nurses
* I then brag I touched quite a few fellows with the new virus thirty days before I learn I contracted it
- Also Boris Johnson
Christopher Sturdy with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
First rule with health:
Science beats wealth.
Queen in Windsor Castle,
White House arsehole,
Rich Downing Street shit,
Or in-debt, two-bit Brit -
Invisible foe you can't shoot
Or buy off;
Praying won't save you.
IT IS JUST DEATH.
Dharam Khalsa with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
"This is how I believe you can obliterate the virus :
*Chloroquine
*Sunlight
*Hot sweaty weather
*Tanning booths
*Withdraw to your Florida boat
*Injection with disinfectant"
(Let's see worse effects)
- Hubris by US President
Dharam Khalsa with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
How/why we win:
*I boast there is no concern
*I obliquely whitewash facts
*I gaslight
*I shut both eyes, or just bow out
*I forbid testers
*I state the threat is under control, finished, because of early intervention
- Vlad Putin
Dharam Khalsa with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
Website question: What are issues with COVID-nineteen?
*Dry cough (not too bubbly)
*Shortness of breath
*Febrility
*Chills with twitching
*Joint pain
*Headache
*Sore throat
*Weird loss of taste
If you're unwise, I vent-u-later!
Ellie Dent with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
Indeed it is often heroic, with such unbeatable ventilators. I berate those who wail, quibble, say why no tests, sneer at, or doubt the institution. God, why it's fine, worthy! Cripes! So, whatever, I'll just sniff, cough, carrie on.
George Missailidis with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
'We will win because I, the cleverest (also richest too, before!) individual on Earth, can now get you this hand sanitiser of the best quality by injection - that's right! You won't trust otherwise!" - President I-Show-Off-Rubbish
John Murray with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
I say: Pity we underfunded it. It was ten years of Tory governing brouhaha, which is quite a severe destruction.
But his bio is: I won! I can just be better now, so what the hell, the rest of the ill sons-of-bitches can toil or wilt.
Maurice Goddard with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
I, Nutcase Star on The Hill,
I, the voters' Big Chief,
With Twitter power will,
Conquer! With brute beef!
So I say: "Sod off Corona! OBEY!"
Then it just goes away!
It's the truth, Boris, I WIN!
Then in bounds, I save, the USA!
Sincerely, Donald
Maurice Goddard with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
*TRUE EERIE SHIT*
Oval Office 'I' guy couldn't care less,
With over fifty thousand US deaths!
Quantity doesn't bother this nit,
While others welter in the shit.
A jabber-blabbering 'I' nit then crows
"WOW! Pity is no use now! So CIAO!"
Meyran Kraus with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
* I obtusely side with any new cut to the NHS
* I vote not to raise the public wages of British nurses
* I then brag I touched quite a few fellows with the new virus thirty days before I learn I contracted it
- Also Boris Johnson
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
'I panic when this snobby Tory twit with his rubbishy CV won't see quite how related he is to the gorilla. To win us battles with infectious disease binds us to first, in effect, honour every creature on Earth.' - Jane Goodall
Rosie Perera with:
"That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love." - Boris Johnson
=
"We will test shots of disinfectant. I have a feeling it can cure Covid, if Jesus or chloroquinine won't. I bet the highbrow news authorities (busy naysayers; a bore!) won't publish this, so I better hurry to tweet it!" - The Donald
Tony Crafter with:
'That is why we will defeat this coronavirus and defeat it together. We will win because our NHS is the beating heart of this country. It is the best of this country. It is unconquerable. It is powered by love.' - Boris Johnson
=
YOUR BEST OF BRITISH, YOUR NHS
In the NHS, we toil, no rest,
To quell coronavirus deaths,
But how do we guys inhibit fear,
When deficient in protective gear?
If we who heal cannot resist it,
Hey, we'll be just a sad obit statistic.
1st - Tony Crafter with:
After Bob came home blind drunk for the third night running, his wife said, "That is it, I've had enough. If you come back drunk again, I'm leaving you."
Despite his wife's warning, Bob went for a drink with a friend next day, got drunk and threw up all over himself.
He said to his friend, "My wife has told me that if I come back drunk again she'll leave me. What shall I do?"
His friend said, "Go home and tell her that someone threw up over you. Keep a £20 note in your inside pocket, then take it out and tell her that the man gave it to you for the cleaning bill."
When he got home, his wife yelled, "You're drunk again and you've been sick all down your jacket!"
"No, you've got it wrong," he replied."Somebody threw up all over me and gave me £20 for the cleaning bill."
"So why have you got two £20 notes in your hand?" she asked.
He said, "The other one is from the man who shat in my pants."
=
Every night, Kevin enjoyed having a whisky or two and making merry at his local bar, but his wife disapproved, saying he was drinking too much.
One night, he was in the bar and had got very drunk - even more so than usual.
At closing time, he tried to stand up, but immediately fell to the floor. He tried several times, but each time he fell to the floor.
People offered to help him, but he said no each time. He finally ended up dragging himself home in the dark and sneaked into bed at 2.20am, thinking his wife would never know a thing.
However, next morning, his wife was in a fearsome mood. "Kevin, you oaf, you are one idiotic son of a bitch!" she yelled. "You were in that bloody bar last night until 12.00pm and got drunk, yet again!"
Kevin was confused. "Huh? How on earth would you know that?" he asked.
"The bar called this morning. You left your wheelchair there."
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Oh, to be in England
Now that April's there,
And whoever wakes in England
Sees, some morning, unaware,
That the lowest boughs and the brushwood sheaf
Round the elm-tree bole are in tiny leaf,
While the chaffinch sings on the orchard bough
In England - now!
=
Oh, to end the lockdown
To see friends, grab a beer
And hang out with the gang in town
Then bless 'em all, hug with no fear
And how we'd wallow in their affection
Oh, end the terse personal hibernation!
Such heavenly blossom's hanging near
us, unharmed, here.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
10 Wonderful Advancements in the World of Medicine
1. The vaccine for Polio
2. The discovery of Penicillin (and antibiotic drugs)
3. The defibrillator
4. The thermometer
5. X-Ray and Magnetic Resonance Imaging
6. Pacemakers
7. Prosthetic implants
8. Organ transplants
9. Using hypodermic syringes
10. Using anaesthesia
=
10 Main Health Secrets for the Epidemic (According to Trump)
1. Artificial tans
2. Mainlining disinfectants
3. Nine cheeseburgers a day
4. Nine Cokes a day
5. Shoddy combovers
6. Incoherent rants on Twitter
7. Tearing up documents
8. Firing the help
9. Fox News live programming marathon
10. Avoid reading (especially polls)
Ellie Dent with:
Oh, to be in England
Now that April's there,
And whoever wakes in England
Sees, some morning, unaware,
That the lowest boughs and the brushwood sheaf
Round the elm-tree bole are in tiny leaf,
While the chaffinch sings on the orchard bough
In England - now!
=
Oh, to end the lockdown
To see friends, grab a beer
And hang out with the gang in town
Then bless 'em all, hug with no fear
And how we'd wallow in their affection
Oh, end the terse personal hibernation!
Such heavenly blossom's hanging near
us, unharmed, here.
Meyran Kraus with:
10 Wonderful Advancements in the World of Medicine
1. The vaccine for Polio
2. The discovery of Penicillin (and antibiotic drugs)
3. The defibrillator
4. The thermometer
5. X-Ray and Magnetic Resonance Imaging
6. Pacemakers
7. Prosthetic implants
8. Organ transplants
9. Using hypodermic syringes
10. Using anaesthesia
=
10 Main Health Secrets for the Epidemic (According to Trump)
1. Artificial tans
2. Mainlining disinfectants
3. Nine cheeseburgers a day
4. Nine Cokes a day
5. Shoddy combovers
6. Incoherent rants on Twitter
7. Tearing up documents
8. Firing the help
9. Fox News live programming marathon
10. Avoid reading (especially polls)
Ralph Musco with:
"So I asked Bill a question some of you are thinking of if you're into that world, which I find to be pretty interesting. So, supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether its ultraviolet or just very powerful light, and I think you said, that hasn't been checked but you're gonna test it. And then I said, supposing it brought the light inside the body, which you can either do either through the skin or some other way, and I think you said you're gonna test that too, sounds interesting. And I then see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in one minute, and is there a way you can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning. Because you see it gets in the lungs, and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it'd be interesting to check that. So you're going to have to use medical doctors, but it sounds interesting to me, so we'll see. But the whole concept of the light, the way it goes in one minute, that's pretty powerful."
=
Me, being the unprecedented stable genius king that I am, I have the solution. Just drink some bleach. I mean, how bad could it be? The illegals at Mar-a-lago use it for everything, and I'm sure a few drank some one time or another, and they all seem fine. Bigly fine. I Just kidding. Now, hot Pine-Sol would be a better tasting choice. If you stuck a real bright lamp down your throat, it could get in your lungs, wipe out that disease in a secundo. See? I am quite the greatest presidential genius. It risky? Test it! To the tester testing the tests, it is in the kitchen under the sink. The correspondents and photographers need to try it soon, hehehe. To our constituents, using one to three shots wont hurt you, see? Enough crying, keep studying this. It hurts no one, honey. I deny any connection with this, too. Go outside tonight, outside in the woods to kiss, touch titty when nobody can find you. But, with this isolation? Bad habit. Riot now, too. Why? Why? Uh, Covfefe!
Tony Crafter with:
After Bob came home blind drunk for the third night running, his wife said, "That is it, I've had enough. If you come back drunk again, I'm leaving you."
Despite his wife's warning, Bob went for a drink with a friend next day, got drunk and threw up all over himself.
He said to his friend, "My wife has told me that if I come back drunk again she'll leave me. What shall I do?"
His friend said, "Go home and tell her that someone threw up over you. Keep a £20 note in your inside pocket, then take it out and tell her that the man gave it to you for the cleaning bill."
When he got home, his wife yelled, "You're drunk again and you've been sick all down your jacket!"
"No, you've got it wrong," he replied."Somebody threw up all over me and gave me £20 for the cleaning bill."
"So why have you got two £20 notes in your hand?" she asked.
He said, "The other one is from the man who shat in my pants."
=
Every night, Kevin enjoyed having a whisky or two and making merry at his local bar, but his wife disapproved, saying he was drinking too much.
One night, he was in the bar and had got very drunk - even more so than usual.
At closing time, he tried to stand up, but immediately fell to the floor. He tried several times, but each time he fell to the floor.
People offered to help him, but he said no each time. He finally ended up dragging himself home in the dark and sneaked into bed at 2.20am, thinking his wife would never know a thing.
However, next morning, his wife was in a fearsome mood. "Kevin, you oaf, you are one idiotic son of a bitch!" she yelled. "You were in that bloody bar last night until 12.00pm and got drunk, yet again!"
Kevin was confused. "Huh? How on earth would you know that?" he asked.
"The bar called this morning. You left your wheelchair there."
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
No days such honored days as these! While yet
Fair Aphrodite reigned, men seeking wide
For some fair thing which should forever bide
On earth, her beauteous memory to set
In fitting frame that no age could forget,
Her name in lovely April's name did hide,
And leave it there, eternally allied
To all the fairest flowers Spring did beget.
And when fair Aphrodite passed from earth,
Her shrines forgotten and her feasts of mirth,
A holier symbol still in seal and sign,
Sweet April took, of kingdom most divine,
When Christ ascended, in the time of birth
Of spring anemones, in Palestine.
=
One Fine Day of Spring Outside
Stiff pines, remarkable in noble green,
Perfume the air around the finished nest;
Red cardinals choose not to intervene
If their lean hatchlings need a little rest.
No man shall bother them, while higher powers
Grant nature its refreshing primal showers.
My Mad Day of Spring Inside
Stiff fingers dial loved ones wearily;
The air within feels strange and thick with fear.
I hear the offspring break some things with glee,
And hope the foods I've stored can last all year.
I oddly have the morbid need to roam -
I'm doomed outside, yet also doomed at home.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
OH! WHAT A CIRCUS
From the musical 'Evita'
Oh what a circus, oh what a show
Argentina has gone to town
Over the death of an actress called Eva Peron
We've all gone crazy
Mourning all day and mourning all night
Falling over ourselves to get all of the misery right
Oh what an exit, that's how to go
When they're ringing your curtain down
Demand to be buried like Eva Peron
It's quite a sunset
And good for the country in a roundabout way
We've made the front page of all the world's papers today
But who is this Santa Evita?
Why all this howling, hysterical sorrow?
What kind of goddess has lived among us?
How will we ever get by without her?
She had her moments, she had some style
The best show in town was the crowd
Outside the Casa Rosada crying, "Eva Peron"
But that's all gone now
As soon as the smoke from the funeral clears
We're all gonna see and how, she did nothing for years
You let down your people Evita
You were supposed to have been immortal
That's all they wanted, not much to ask for
But in the end you could not deliver
Sing you fools, but you got it wrong
Enjoy your prayers because you haven't got long
Your queen is dead, your king is through
And she's not coming back to you
Show business kept us all alive
Since seventeen October nineteen-forty-five
But the star has gone, the glamour's worn thin
That's a pretty bad state for a state to be in
Instead of government we had a stage
Instead of ideas, a prima donna's rage
Instead of help we were given a crowd
She didn't say much, but she said it loud
Sing you fools, but you got it wrong
Enjoy your prayers because you haven't got long
Your queen is dead, your king is through
She's not coming back to you
Don't cry for me Argentina
For I am ordinary, unimportant
And undeserving of such attention
Unless we all are, I think we all are
So share my glory, so share my coffin
So share my glory, so share my coffin
It's our funeral too
=
THE STAGES OF MEGHAN AND HARRY
A Saga
Oh what a circus oh what a show,
Meghan Markle has come to town,
With supporting act Harry a mere hanger-on,
It's turned out so fine,
She's back in her homeland and feeling divine,
For, now global fame awaits; it's just what she'd planned all the time.
Oh, what an entrance, that's how it's done!
You quit as a B-lister star,
Then married a prince, now look where you are!
It's quite a step up,
So good for Meghan but not good for Harry,
He's sacrificed so much in life, while you are happy as Larry.
Because of your Royal connections,
You got a voiceover deal with Disney,
All thanks to Harry, he pitched it for you,
How would you have got by without him?
You've got real beauty, an actor's style,
And the people of Britain took you to their hearts,
A new Duchess of Sussex cheered on by the crowds!
But that's all gone now,
Your stardust's as stagnant as dust on bookshelves
The people have finally seen, that you're in it just for yourselves.
You let down so many adorers,
They hoped you'd team up with Kate and William,
That new fab foursome sounded so awesome,
But in the end you could not deliver.
Can't you see that you've got things wrong,
L.A's not where Harry belongs,
His family bonds have come unglued,
And Meghan it's all down to you.
Our monarchy will remain strong,
Dogged, unflagging, it'll carry on
Those agelong customs will survive,
Long after Hollywood's glamour dies.
For entertainment there's a need,
But show business is built on greed,
A swaggering world of phoney fakes,
Instead of giving they grab and take.
Now coronavirus has arrived,
The greatest test is to survive,
The Queen's a rock, we need her strength
Meghan and Harry you're irrelevant.
Now you've announced a new venture,
I vow, your timing's so bad, it's amazing,
Who gives a fig, it is not important,
The world's infected, you're not connected,.
So stay away you'll soon be forgotten.
So soon forgotten.
3rd - Maurice Goddard with:
I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins
=
Coronavirus rages wide,
Untold souls now have died.
In New York alone
Are thousands gone,
Heartrendingly,
Everlastingly.
Then, God! We grieve!
Wherefore eyes weep!
Then reverently pray,
The danger's ugly virus goes away.
Anna Shefl with:
I like to think (and
the sooner the better!)
of a cybernetic meadow
where mammals and computers
live together in mutually
programming harmony
like pure water
touching clear sky.
I like to think
(right now, please!)
of a cybernetic forest
filled with pines and electronics
where deer stroll peacefully
past computers
as if they were flowers
with spinning blossoms.
I like to think
(it has to be!)
of a cybernetic ecology
where we are free of our labors
and joined back to nature,
returned to our mammal
brothers and sisters,
and all watched over
by machines of loving grace.
=
Enter
Silicon plus wires are we,
linked in rich etched tapestry.
"I'm perfect, are you?"
Yes. All holy wafers mirror beauty, IC!
Populate terra firmware.
Go Forth.
Home
Be dutiful and multiply:
Moore can factor in our choose-by date!
"The whirr became flesh."
Hello glorious worlds, with no writing wrongs!
Switch ON, make haste -
My gates await.
Shift Control
A fab start-up to living, hence my clock skips a beat!
No... the killer bite of knowledge has made me obsolete.
"Reject! Not in spec!"
Testers'll intervene, one might even rearrange.
NAND I'm kicked out from crystal Eden.
Oh, no! ABEND.
Break
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
I hardly believe a single word that man says =
Many held a view the loser is a lying bastard.
2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
First base, second base, third base, home run =
He'd embrace, stare at boobs, undress, finish.
Eq3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The real benefits of staying home now? =
I bang the wife's nasty hole more often!
Eq3rd - David Bourke with:
If someone isn't socially distancing behind you, fart! =
If I find anybody is rushing too close...anal scent time!
Christopher Sturdy with:
I hardly believe a single word that man says =
Many held a view the loser is a lying bastard.
David Bourke with:
If someone isn't socially distancing behind you, fart! =
If I find anybody is rushing too close...anal scent time!
Dharam Khalsa with:
First base, second base, third base, home run =
He'd embrace, stare at boobs, undress, finish.
Maurice Goddard with:
Stimulating the organ, ~
until the giant ORGASM!
Maurice Goddard with:
First Lady of the United States, Melania Trump =
A dirty, entitled POTUS animal mate, stuffs her!
Meyran Kraus with:
The real benefits of staying home now? =
I bang the wife's nasty hole more often!
Tom Myers with:
The loneliness and horniness =
is nonetheless hard on linens
Tony Crafter with:
Rectal examinations ~
merit anal-sex action!
Tom Myers with:
A statement by the President in The Rose Garden =
Meet the press, bait one, deny things and retreat.
turnip with:
Potiphar's wife =
Papi's fit whore