1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Tightrope artist =
Straight tiptoer.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
They're 'people who menstruate' =
Truth? The people are, yes... women!
3rd - Tom Myers with:
I never saw it coming =
Althea Rahman with:
Marmots spread bubonic plague =
Discourage abnormal pet bumps!
Screaming into view.
Christopher Sturdy with:
To make, swap and wear no other friendship bracelets =
We knew from the start a pair shared one special bond.
Christopher Sturdy with:
When substantial risk paid off =
I bluff at poker, as it wins hands.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Ill-gotten gains =
Elgin's giant lot.
David Bourke with:
One forecasts ~
scones for tea!
David Bourke with:
The virgin "No!" ‡
In overnight.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Seeing the handwriting on the wall =
Allowing insight when threatened.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Living by the Golden Rule ‡
I'll bludgeon everything!
George Missailidis with:
A dishonest politician ‡
An ethical disposition.
George Missailidis with:
A generic rotund bear =
One darn big creature!
John Murray with:
An illegal rave =
All revel again.
Maurice Goddard with:
I was born with green fingers ~
growing finer herbs as I went!
Meyran Kraus with:
Tightrope artist =
Straight tiptoer.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The smallest room in the house =
This result means the home loo
Murray Cameron with:
Party animal =
A prat, mainly.
Phil Carmody with:
Don't immanentize the Eschaton =
Damn, he atomizes the continent!
Phil Carmody with:
A simpleton loved ~
top level domains.
Rick Rothstein with:
Clean events (no riots) in ~
non-violent resistance.
Rosie Perera with:
Wear your seatbelt ~
taut, or else be wary.
Rosie Perera with:
"Heads I win, tails you lose" =
How easily it's a delusion!
Rosie Perera with:
Non-violent resistance =
A consistent inner love.
Tom Myers with:
Restoring equanimity =
So try remaining quiet.
Tom Myers with:
Gasp! Hell, I have ~
a high PSA level!
Tom Myers with:
Advice for avoiding the coronavirus =
A survivor: "Idiot had no face covering!"
Tom Myers with:
Team building exercise ‡
Brexit guidelines came.
Tom Myers with:
Safety last =
Salty feast.
Tom Myers with:
The woodwind section =
it went disco hoedown
Tom Myers with:
Non-college-educated white voters =
No degree, down south, elect evil cat.
Tom Myers with:
A day well spent. =
Pleasantly wed.
Tom Myers with:
I never saw it coming =
Screaming into view.
Tom Myers with:
Midwest tornadoes =
Disaster down to me.
Tom Myers with:
The virgin "yes" ~
is everything!
Tom Myers with:
People are depraved =
Developer appeared.
Tony Crafter with:
They're 'people who menstruate' =
Truth? The people are, yes... women!
View with:
Beaten after work =
Want to break free.
1st - George Missailidis with:
The English actress, Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson =
Smart teen called Hermione that rescues Hogwarts.
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
'Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Donald Trump' =
Real mean manchild with God Complex. Non-stop fraud.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Motion picture 'The Shawshank Redemption' =
So what mattered in the muck in prison? Hope.
Christopher Sturdy with:
'Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Donald Trump' =
Real mean manchild with God Complex. Non-stop fraud.
David Bourke with:
The singer Dua Lipa =
Pristina huge deal.
David Bourke with:
The singer Lily Rose Beatrice Allen =
Belligerent arsehole? Certainly is!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events =
Often sense continuum of entirely averse tasks.
George Missailidis with:
The English actress, Emma Charlotte Duerre Watson =
Smart teen called Hermione that rescues Hogwarts.
Maurice Goddard with:
Tributes are paid to football great Jack Charlton =
The boot scorer led jubilant attack at far goal! R.I.P.
Maurice Goddard with:
O! Volume of Wonder! It's 'Treasure Island' by the ~
widely famed author, Robert Louis Stevenson!
Meyran Kraus with:
'Too Much and Never Enough' written by Mary L. Trump =
How the Dummy can turn into a very urgent problem.
Meyran Kraus with:
Motion picture 'The Shawshank Redemption' =
So what mattered in the muck in prison? Hope.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Ludwig van Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony =
Germans' bows play euphony that's involved.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Finding Freedom by Carolyn Durand and Omid Scobie =
On icy and unfriendly mood of bride and Cambridges.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Ekphrastic poets ~
praise top sketch.
Rick Rothstein with:
Motion picture 'The Shawshank Redemption =
Two hip kind humane prisoners meet to chat.
Tony Crafter with:
The feisty American actress/model Amber Laura Heard =
"Oh, that 'faeces in a marital bed' slur smeared my career!"
View with:
"The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel"=
TV series: sell humor, ma'am!
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
The top infectious disease doctor in America =
Dr Fauci: "I see science as too important to hide."
2nd - Tyler Severance with:
Disaster waiting to happen =
President with a post again.
Eq3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Princess Beatrice has wed the Italian Edoardo Mozzi =
Althea Rahman with:
Trump pushes to reopen schools =
Preposterous plot. Hm, he cons us.
While, in remorse, bride's dad ate pizza at the occasion!
Eq3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Washington, District of Columbia =
Dimwits can't foil this Corona bug.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Them and us =
The damn US!
Christopher Sturdy with:
Stonehenge stone source located near to site =
i.e. note sarsens close enough to tote and erect.
David Bourke with:
Crawley is a Coronavirus infection hotspot =
Scientific location a worry to a nervous HSP!
David Bourke with:
Kanye Omari West's midlife meltdown =
Madman went to diss wife Kim [eyeroll!]
David Bourke with:
The second coronavirus wave is inevitable =
Obvious Covid Nineteen research was vital!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Education Secretary Betsy DeVos =
Teener COVID cases started by you.
Dharam Khalsa with:
The top infectious disease doctor in America =
Is Fauci too discreet to a pandemic on the rise?
Dharam Khalsa with:
Performative authoritarianism =
Heavier arms for a Putin imitator.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Muscle behind sad result in Portland ~
describes Donald Trump in a nutshell.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Dull, unpredictable; in short, madness ~
describes Donald Trump in a nutshell.
Dharam Khalsa with:
This unbalanced slumlord president ~
describes Donald Trump in a nutshell.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Ruthless dolt in republican demands ~
describes Donald Trump in a nutshell.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Hurricane Isaias heads toward Florida ~
and, alas, US radio said horrific weather.
George Missailidis with:
The second wave of coronavirus =
Ferocious event draws on havoc.
John Murray with:
Advance in woes ~
in a second wave.
Maurice Goddard with:
Four years with Donald Trump as America's president. =
History's maddest and most weariful era in pure crap!
Meyran Kraus with:
Jeffrey Epstein's old friend Ghislaine Maxwell =
Sex offender's pig may well end it in jail herself.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The USS Bonhomme Richard ~
combusts hard in her home.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Boris Johnson and Michael Gove =
In major hole on COVID as NHS beg
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Face coverings and one metre plus ~
get me coronavirus defence plans
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The official photos of Princess Beatrice's wedding =
Face of spited father is eclipsed in big Crown shoot
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Performative Authoritarianism =
I stir up a riot, for I have armament
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
A human Covid swing helps ~
compulsive hand washing
Murray Cameron with:
"Very stable genius" =
Enervates US, bigly.
Phil Carmody with:
Ghislaine Maxwell arrested =
Area: Need sex with small girl?
Rick Rothstein with:
The top infectious disease doctor in America =
Dr Fauci: "I see science as too important to hide."
Rosie Perera with:
The free and elite: ~
"I feel threatened."
Rosie Perera with:
Redneck has weak habitual comeback to "BLM" =
He asked me: "What about black-on-black crime?"
Rosie Perera with:
Edmonton Eskimos to change name =
So team condemn skin-tone homage?
Rosie Perera with:
Federal Elections Commissioner Ellen Weintraub =
Americans will elect Biden, else our innermost foe.
Tom Myers with:
End qualified immunity ~
if inequality undimmed.
Tom Myers with:
Representative John Lewis dies =
At rest, joins where divine sleep.
Tony Crafter with:
Princess Beatrice has wed the Italian Edoardo Mozzi =
While, in remorse, bride's dad ate pizza at the occasion!
Tyler Severance with:
Disaster waiting to happen =
President with a post again.
Tyler Severance with:
Hurricanes and a pandemic =
A hundred Americans panic!
View with:
Covid catastrophe =
Havoc raced! Stop it!
View with:
The coronavirus updates =
Count deaths over USA (RIP)
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Jeffrey Epstein's old friend Ghislaine Maxwell =
Sex offender's pig may well end it in jail herself.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The attention-seeker Meghan Markle
=
Non-regal? Me?
I'm the star.
Take the knee!
3rd - Tom Myers with:
Olivia de Havilland =
I had loved a villain
Christopher Sturdy with:
David George Hamilton Frost =
HMG gifted role to an advisor.
David Bourke with:
Patrice Latyr Evra's ~
a prat, it's very clear!
Dharam Khalsa with:
British socialite Ghislaine Maxwell =
Will highest alibis come in a sex trial?
Dharam Khalsa with:
White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany =
Where sharp lying teeth can issue easy mockery.
John Murray with:
Rapper Kanye West =
A wanker-type Pres.
Meyran Kraus with:
Donald Trump's niece Mary =
My uncle's mad and I report.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
British socialite Ghislaine Maxwell =
Ethical bias is illegal sex with minor
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Chancellor Rishi Sunak =
He'll incur a risk: no cash!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Charles Brett Anthony Elphicke =
At present he'll bother any chick
Murray Cameron with:
David Seymour ~
drives you mad.
Tom Myers with:
Daniel Lewis Lee =
Well, I see denial.
Tom Myers with:
Olivia de Havilland, =
I had loved a villain
Tony Crafter with:
The attention-seeker Meghan Markle
=
Non-regal? Me?
I'm the star.
Take the knee!
View with:
Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador =
Around a dozen real problems.
Eq1st - Rick Rothstein with:
Washington, District of Columbia =
Comical bags of wind run it to shit!
Eq1st - David Bourke with:
The Department of Homeland Security =
These, the Portland community feared.
Eq3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Comet NEOWISE =
Come see it now.
Eq3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
White House Coronavirus Task Force =
Hero Fauci: Whoa, it's not over, suckers!
Christopher Sturdy with:
The Premier League =
Puerile game there.
David Bourke with:
The Washington Redskins American football team =
More "woke" "BAN THIS!" calls...forget that 'Indians' name.
David Bourke with:
The Department of Homeland Security =
These, the Portland community feared.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Insiders often refer to head Putin as ~
President of the Russian Federation.
Dharam Khalsa with:
White House Coronavirus Task Force =
Hero Fauci: Whoa, it's not over, suckers!
Dharam Khalsa with:
The Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest =
Team contestant noshing that sea of dough!
John Fidler with:
I abhor ~
Haribo
Maurice Goddard with:
Black Lives Matter =
A blast: cite Rev. MLK.
Maurice Goddard with:
The Royal Botanic Gardens of Kew ~
do breath-taking flowery oceans!
Meyran Kraus with:
Comet NEOWISE =
Come see it now.
Meyran Kraus with:
Washington, District of Columbia =
Dimwits can't foil this Corona bug.
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Oxford's Bullingdon Club =
Crux of dull snob in old GB?
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Baroness Cavendish of Little Venice =
Set social care benefit (NHS involved).
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
The Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest =
A ton of the stodge, an instant huge stomach!
Rick Rothstein with:
Washington, District of Columbia =
Comical bags of wind run it to shit!
Tom Myers with:
Newly formed auto group Stellantis =
A lot stronger, woefully stupid name.
Tony Crafter with:
California's Beverly Ridge Estates gated community =
Overtly famous celebrities grace it (and sad, tiny Meg.)
View with:
Hyundai Accent SE Sedan ~
has uneasy end: accident.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Trump Family
1. Donald
2. Melania
3. Ivanka
4. Don Junior
5. Eric
6. Barron
7. Tiffany
=
1. A real nutjob
2. Fair trophy
3. Fancy
4. Amoral
5. Frail mind
6. Vain kid
7. Unmentioned
2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Ten Weirdest Materials Used By "Artists":
10. Blood
9. Toast
8. Fruit
7. Cheese
6. Ants
5. Fish heads
4. Pencils
3. Pennies
2. Copper sulfate
1. Poop
=
10. It dries brown
9. Burn and scrape soot
8. It's supple
7. Melted
6. I hate those!
5. Posed as people
4. Tiniest stuff
3. A shine
2. Crystal
1. Faeces
3rd - Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Donald Trump's children:
1. Donald Junior
2. Ivanka
3. Eric Frederick
4. Tiffany Ariana
5. Barron William
=
Rundown:
1. An imbecilic jerk
2. A diva, or a pain
3. Duffer
4. Ninny child for Marla
5. Tall kid in a sad terror
Christopher Sturdy with:
Horrified sunbathing family find human skull and bones buried on beach
=
I'm not bluffing! Kid, he found man's head in El Hierro, Canary Islands.
Hubbub!!!
Christopher Sturdy with:
The 'Good Morning, Wake Up To Success' mantra:
"Today shall be exciting;
I will achieve top stuff.
I am purposeful and brave!"
=
Glass half full.
Standing up overcame anxiety.
Have no self doubt.
Be optimistic.
Act proud.
Speak with courage.
Win more.
David Bourke with:
Tyler Perry's mansion, Hastain Fire Road, Beverly Hills, Los Angeles, California, USA
=
Royal sponger Harry, his Mrs, son, also butler can live in it free...all said, an easy life!
David Bourke with:
Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson's eldest daughter Princess Beatrice
=
Success for dense dad's spawn...bagged rather rich Italian entrepreneur!
David Bourke with:
The late Fleetwood Mac guitarist Peter Allen Greenbaum
=
Great tone made me figure, "A Les Paul? Can't better it! Oh well."
Dharam Khalsa with:
Ten Weirdest Materials Used By "Artists":
10. Blood
9. Toast
8. Fruit
7. Cheese
6. Ants
5. Fish heads
4. Pencils
3. Pennies
2. Copper sulfate
1. Poop
=
10. It dries brown
9. Burn and scrape soot
8. It's supple
7. Melted
6. I hate those!
5. Posed as people
4. Tiniest stuff
3. A shine
2. Crystal
1. Faeces
Maurice Goddard with:
Coronavirus: Donald Trump wears face mask for the first time
=
Covered up from now, that dismal face sure mirrors a fat stink!
Maurice Goddard with:
German Nazi, Adolf Hitler, at Berlin's Brandenburg Gate
=
Darn arrogant leading ranting rat, Beelzebub himself!
Maurice Goddard with:
Underaged couple ran away to Gretna Green (the English-Scottish border)
~
and here the young darlings got wed! Cheers! Rapture! Tangos! Celebration!
Maurice Goddard with:
You won't have to worry about my tweets when I'm president - Joe Biden
=
Wow! Everyone hoots now! Beauty is, Joe hereby didn't name twit Trump!
Meyran Kraus with:
The Trump Family
1. Donald
2. Melania
3. Ivanka
4. Don Junior
5. Eric
6. Barron
7. Tiffany
=
1. A real nutjob
2. Fair trophy
3. Fancy
4. Amoral
5. Frail mind
6. Vain kid
7. Unmentioned
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Donald Trump's children:
1. Donald Junior
2. Ivanka
3. Eric Frederick
4. Tiffany Ariana
5. Barron William
=
Rundown:
1. An imbecilic jerk
2. A diva, or a pain
3. Duffer
4. Ninny child for Marla
5. Tall kid in a sad terror
Rosie Perera with:
Ivanka Trump tells jobless Americans to: "Find Something New"
=
Farm help knows: Just become a dentist, earning vast millions.
Tony Crafter with:
"When I was young I felt like a man trapped inside a woman's body. Then I was born." - (The stand-up comedian).
=
"Pass the word: We hate mean-minded witticisms, and I ban you!" - (An unhappy gender-abolition snowflake).
1st - Maurice Goddard with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Rotten Yank
In Watergate.
Clean Air Act VIP
High-handed pig.
Anti-communist
Resigned.
Dark felon hid.
No good Dick crept
In self-deceit.
Xenophobe left.
Obsessed Chief,
Not wholly honest.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Look at the glowing review I got from a child!
"The President is:
Affable
Decent
Innocent
Cool
Kind
Signed: Catheryn, aged six"
...And the boneheaded cynics of the Press think I'm not popular?!
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Except Christ was perfect in every way. He didn't sin. Infallible God, condemned to the cross, he died for all people. King of Kings, coming again. Thanks and honour be to the One that I cited.
Althea Rahman with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict."
- Lemony Snicket
=
With breathtaking coordination, the bookist peep Daniel Handler pluckily enhanced the performance of The Magnetic Fields' "Sixty Nine Love Songs" with dogged accordion deftness.
Christopher Sturdy with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Boffins imply the odd bit of Shakespeare made a cracking read.
I cope too (or nod), now and then, while accepting even intelligent schoolkids find sixteenth century English hard to get.
David Bourke with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
I'd condemn racists of all faiths, strengthen a hodgepodge black/white, dark/light kaleidoscope of coexistence, uphold within the poignant sentiment referenced in 'Ebony And Ivory'!
Dharam Khalsa with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
To kick this off with a political presence: Donald Trump, being an egotist, foggy bonehead, willing crook.
Can the man's children defend their dad? Response: "Hey, he's not even intoxicated!"
Dharam Khalsa with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Psychos in fiction pages, like:
Darth Vader
Dr. Doom
Magneto
Hannibal Lecter
Lex Luthor
Green Goblin
Pennywise
Two-Face
Ghost
Then, I can't think of decent deeds in aid of those I picked!
Dharam Khalsa with:
People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict. - Lemony Snicket
=
Thanks to childish Donald and the Mitch brigade, we feel choked, angry, or beyond help. Once we confirm opposing thinking candidates, I'll expect to ignite "A Series of Fortunate Events".
Dharam Khalsa with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Condescending deli owner, pointing: "Hello...there's no exception for picky vegans on the menu! Order a Chef's Salad with diced ham and egg on it, and I'll pick off the bits, okay? Is that better??"
George Missailidis with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Talking of chefs, don't I find Gordon Ramsay one of the people who'd seem like a wicked cretin given the chap's high-protest yelling and exorbitant declarations? But I'd contend he's nice. :)
Maurice Goddard with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Rotten Yank
In Watergate.
Clean Air Act VIP
High-handed pig.
Anti-communist
Resigned.
Dark felon hid.
No good Dick crept
In self-deceit.
Xenophobe left.
Obsessed Chief,
Not wholly honest.
Maurice Goddard with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Anti-Semitic,
Dark, conceited,
Odious, sick,
Low, conning,
Foxy, psycho-affected,
Hell-bent, deranged,
Infernal, so hot-headed,
Threatening,
Loathsome,
Evil, whopping big
Rat. The Serpent kind.
Maurice Goddard with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
The lead King of Kings,
He, the Son of God.
Entirely good,
Son knew no sin.
A perfect child.
Valiant pity. The Light.
Impeccable. Crowned.
O! Beaten! Fixed
Upon the Cross,
Radiant, Christ died. Amen.
Meyran Kraus with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
A few Trump cons and pros
CONS:
- Bigot
- Egomaniac
- Dang idiot
- Childish
- Greedy
- Pathetic
- Senile
- Feeble
- Entitled
- He'd hate science
- Whiny on TV
- Good friend of the KKK
PROS:
- ...Taller than Nixon? :/
Meyran Kraus with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Look at the glowing review I got from a child!
"The President is:
Affable
Decent
Innocent
Cool
Kind
Signed: Catheryn, aged six"
...And the boneheaded cynics of the Press think I'm not popular?!
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Noting Richard Nixon had been a wicked old crook, although he possessed decent foreign policy and he did make the people significantly better off with environmental testing acts.
Rosie Perera with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
In basic hagiographic penning, Lincoln was the greatest President of our nation. He freed slaves. Yet a cold kink: he did want them to be deported. The sick demon/fool fed toxic lynching.
Rosie Perera with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Except Christ was perfect in every way. He didn't sin. Infallible God, condemned to the cross, he died for all people. King of Kings, coming again. Thanks and honour be to the One that I cited.
Rosie Perera with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Onyx dude (POC) with a camera, shooting pics of birds.
"Karen" (nice lady), offended, not thinking, calls the police, weeping, in one hot fit.
He gets arrested. He'd done nothing!
#BlackLivesMatter
Rosie Perera with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Think one'd find the recipe in yonder kitchen context: we all consist of lettuce, tomato, ham, cheese, an egg (hard-boiled), bit of pepper (as flavoring), and a wickedly good thinnish dressing.
Tony Crafter with:
"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." - Lemony Snicket
=
Cancel 'Woke' People
Think, Covidiots - Get a Mask
High-handed Henrys - Get A Life
Free Speech Matters
I Dig Brexit!
England Isn't Ethnocentric
All Opinions Count
Who'd I Offend? Nobody? Drat!
Eq1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Here are some of the basic tasks used in the cognitive test (MOCA) that Donald Trump had to complete:
1. Following a simple trail from A to One to B to Two etc.;
2. Copying a transparent cube (which a five-year-old boy could easily do);
3. Naming the animals in three highly obvious drawings (Like: Lion, Rhino and Camel);
4. Repeating a list of five plain words (Like: Face, Velvet, Church, Daisy, Red);
5. Repeating a list of digits and then repeating them backwards;
6. Subtracting seven from a hundred, then keep subtracting seven from whatever you answered;
7. Repeating the five words that were previously mentioned.
=
And here are Trump's answers:
1. "I lead, I don't follow."
2. "Crappy design. I can set you up with people that make great cubes. The best cubes."
3. "No problem: Retriever in a wig, fat unicorn, hunchbacked giraffe. My sons have their heads on their walls."
4. "Facebook. Er... Valet. I met a valet once. Loved leaving fingerprints all over my Rolls. Hispanic teen. Had him deported."
5. "I won't do math stuff. Give it to that Asian boy that did my SATs. Nice kid. Had him deported."
6. "So rude... My numbers are totally rising. The rotten polls are rigged!"
7. "Melania, Winning, Covfefe, Fake, News. Can I go now? I got to tweet that anchovies cure COVID."
Eq1st - Tony Crafter with:
Two Irishmen were working for the city's public works department.
Seamus would dig a hole and Paddy would come behind him and fill it in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other side, then moved on to the next street, working laboriously all day without a rest, Seamus digging a hole, then Paddy filling it back in again.
One particular onlooker was very impressed at how hard they were working, but he couldn't understand just what they were doing.
So he said to hole-digger Seamus, "I am very impressed at the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it - why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow along behind you and fill it in again?"
Seamus wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose the reason it looks a bit odd is because we're normally a three-person team. But today Billy O'Mara the lad who plants the trees, called in sick!"
=
Rooney walked into a pub and saw his usually jolly friend Dermot slumped miserably over the bar.
He went up to him and said: "Hello Dermot, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong? I'll tell ya," replied his pal sorrowfully. "You know dat beautiful girl at work who I liked, but I got an erection every time I was near her?"
"That I do!" laughed Rooney.
"Well," said Dermot, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she said yes."
"But that's good!" said Rooney, "When are you goin'?"
"I went to meet her this evening," said Dermot, "but I was worried I would get an erection. So I bought some fancy duct tape and taped my willy to my leg, then if I did, it wouldn't show."
"Good thinking," said Rooney.
"So I got to her door and rang the bell," his pal went on. "She answered it in the briefest, most sexy dress you ever saw."
"So, what happened then?"
Dermot slumped back onto the bar-top.
"I kicked her in the face."
3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Some of the World's Weirdest Geological Formations:
1. Cave of the Crystals, Mexico
2. Eye of the Sahara, Mauritania
3. Giant's Causeway, Northern Ireland
4. Sailing Stones of the Racetrack Playa in Death Valley, Calif.
5. Ice Towers of Mount Erebus, Antarctica
6. Remnants of the Oklo natural nuclear reactor, Gabon
7. Eisriesenwelt ice cave, Austria
8. Tessellated Pavement of Eaglehawk Neck, Tasmania
9. Pamukkale, Turkey
10. Fingal's Cave, Scotland
=
1. Luminescent gypsum formations
2. Concentric rings of erosion a team of NASA astronauts can see, a.k.a. "Richat Structure"
3. A natural hive of lava pillars
4. Stones that maneuver freely on a clay area
5. Freak hollow icy shafts
6. Heat-aged yellow uranium oxide
7. Large limestone cavern
8. A field of tile-like blocks of wet stone
9. Wide terraces at the hot springs, a.k.a. "Cotton Castle"
Christopher Sturdy with:
'I help stuck, frustrated professional women achieve their career dreams through "warm and wise" coaching and accountability.'
=
An 'incurable' at the start, her approach was effective right away!
Our hour and I'm a chilled success :-)
I recommend Kirsten Goodwin
10. A cathedral-like sea cavern; it became a magic weekend getaway
Dharam Khalsa with:
Some of the World's Weirdest Geological Formations:
1. Cave of the Crystals, Mexico
2. Eye of the Sahara, Mauritania
3. Giant's Causeway, Northern Ireland
4. Sailing Stones of the Racetrack Playa in Death Valley, Calif.
5. Ice Towers of Mount Erebus, Antarctica
6. Remnants of the Oklo natural nuclear reactor, Gabon
7. Eisriesenwelt ice cave, Austria
8. Tessellated Pavement of Eaglehawk Neck, Tasmania
9. Pamukkale, Turkey
10. Fingal's Cave, Scotland
=
1. Luminescent gypsum formations
2. Concentric rings of erosion a team of NASA astronauts can see, a.k.a. "Richat Structure"
3. A natural hive of lava pillars
4. Stones that maneuver freely on a clay area
5. Freak hollow icy shafts
6. Heat-aged yellow uranium oxide
7. Large limestone cavern
8. A field of tile-like blocks of wet stone
9. Wide terraces at the hot springs, a.k.a. "Cotton Castle"
10. A cathedral-like sea cavern; it became a magic weekend getaway
Dharam Khalsa with:
Donald is walking down a city street one midsummer day after work, when he happens to see his old childhood friend, Joe, a little ways up ahead. He yells, "Joe!" After getting his attention, he greets his old friend. "How have you been?"
Joe says, "Not too good."
"Why, what happened to you?" Donald queries.
"My life is a disaster! In summary, I've gone bankrupt," Joe admits. "I'm a victim, with this recession, and I've still got to feed my family. Mum is on dialysis. I don't know what I'm going to do."
"A pity. Could have been worse," Don states with a calm smile, "Could have been worse."
A month or so later, Don sees Joe again getting a coffee order in the downtown mall. "Hey, how are things going?" he asks.
"I'm utterly miserable!" relates Joe emotionally. "In a nightmarish twist, our house burned down. Now we're homeless."
"Could have been worse," says Donald easily, "Could have been worse." He flashes him that slight vacant smile, then suddenly trots out to go about his business.
~
A week or two later, Donald runs into his old friend Joe a third time. "Well, how goes it now?" he inquires.
"Oh my God!" says Joe. "Things just keep getting worse and worse. It's one damn tragedy after another! I lost my job this morning, and now my wife is going to leave me!"
Donald nods his head yes, and gives his usual optimistic-seeming little smile, accompanied by his usual phrase: "Could have been worse."
This time, Joe is really angry. He whirls around and grabs Donald by both shoulders. "Wow, wait a second!" he says. "I am not going to let you off so easy this time. Several times in the past few months we've run into one another, and each time I've told you about the latest tragedy in my life. And, each time you say the same thing: "Could have been worse." This time, for God's sake, Donald, I want you to answer this: How in the Hell could I be any worse off?"
Donald looks at Joe with the same little smile. "Could have been worse," he smirks. "Could have happened to me."
Meyran Kraus with:
Here are some of the basic tasks used in the cognitive test (MOCA) that Donald Trump had to complete:
1. Following a simple trail from A to One to B to Two etc.;
2. Copying a transparent cube (which a five-year-old boy could easily do);
3. Naming the animals in three highly obvious drawings (Like: Lion, Rhino and Camel);
4. Repeating a list of five plain words (Like: Face, Velvet, Church, Daisy, Red);
5. Repeating a list of digits and then repeating them backwards;
6. Subtracting seven from a hundred, then keep subtracting seven from whatever you answered;
7. Repeating the five words that were previously mentioned.
=
And here are Trump's answers:
1. "I lead, I don't follow."
2. "Crappy design. I can set you up with people that make great cubes. The best cubes."
3. "No problem: Retriever in a wig, fat unicorn, hunchbacked giraffe. My sons have their heads on their walls."
4. "Facebook. Er... Valet. I met a valet once. Loved leaving fingerprints all over my Rolls. Hispanic teen. Had him deported."
5. "I won't do math stuff. Give it to that Asian boy that did my SATs. Nice kid. Had him deported."
6. "So rude... My numbers are totally rising. The rotten polls are rigged!"
7. "Melania, Winning, Covfefe, Fake, News. Can I go now? I got to tweet that anchovies cure COVID."
Tony Crafter with:
Two Irishmen were working for the city's public works department.
Seamus would dig a hole and Paddy would come behind him and fill it in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other side, then moved on to the next street, working laboriously all day without a rest, Seamus digging a hole, then Paddy filling it back in again.
One particular onlooker was very impressed at how hard they were working, but he couldn't understand just what they were doing.
So he said to hole-digger Seamus, "I am very impressed at the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it - why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow along behind you and fill it in again?"
Seamus wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose the reason it looks a bit odd is because we're normally a three-person team. But today Billy O'Mara the lad who plants the trees, called in sick!"
=
Rooney walked into a pub and saw his usually jolly friend Dermot slumped miserably over the bar.
He went up to him and said: "Hello Dermot, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong? I'll tell ya," replied his pal sorrowfully. "You know dat beautiful girl at work who I liked, but I got an erection every time I was near her?"
"That I do!" laughed Rooney.
"Well," said Dermot, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she said yes."
"But that's good!" said Rooney, "When are you goin'?"
"I went to meet her this evening," said Dermot, "but I was worried I would get an erection. So I bought some fancy duct tape and taped my willy to my leg, then if I did, it wouldn't show."
"Good thinking," said Rooney.
"So I got to her door and rang the bell," his pal went on. "She answered it in the briefest, most sexy dress you ever saw."
"So, what happened then?"
Dermot slumped back onto the bar-top.
"I kicked her in the face."
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
On the Anniversary of the Independence of the United States
[The Short Version]
Let the poets of Europe write odes on their king
Or their musical notes raise so high,
The birth-day of freedom we ever will sing
And rejoice on the Fourth of July.
No proud, haughty monarch can here bear the sway
Since tyranny now we defy;
Fair liberty ushers this joyful glad day,
And proclaims 'tis the Fourth of July.=
My Fourth of July
Rewatching 'Jaws', I feel I do
Enjoy the old fish-horror, yet
Disasters - even if not true -
Would heighten fears of present threats.
How innocent (if highly dire)
It was for us to think it's done!
The year just forced, with mighty fire,
Eternal burns on everyone.
Before rushed choices end my breath,
Let's nourish heads, not only Hope -
Until plagues, anarchy or death
Evaporate, and I may cope.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
DONALD WHERE'S YOUR TROOSERS?
By
Andy Stewart
I've just come down
From the Isle of Skye
I'm no very big and I'm awful shy
And the lassies shout when I go by
Donald, where's your troosers?
Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Through the streets
In my kilt, I'll go
All the lassies say hello
Donald, where's your troosers?
A lassie took me to a ball
And it was slippery in the hall
And I was feared that I would fall
For I had nae on my troosers?
Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Through the streets
In my kilt, I'll go
All the lassies say hello
Donald, where's your troosers?
Now I went down to London Town
And I had some fun in the underground
The ladies turned their heads around
Saying, Donald, where are your trousers?
Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Through the streets
In my kilt, I'll go
All the lassies say hello
Donald, where's your troosers?
To wear the kilt is my delight
It is not wrong I know it's right
The Highlanders would get a fright
If they saw me in the trousers?
Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Through the streets
In my kilt, I'll go
All the lassies say hello
Donald, where's your troosers?
The lassies want me every one
Well, let them catch me if they can
You canna take the breaks
Of a Highland man
And I don't wear the troosers
Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Through the streets
In my kilt, I'll go
All the lassies say hello
Donald, where's your troosers?
=
WHEN DONALD LOST HIS TROOSERS
(Trump the World Traveller hits the Highlands!)
Well I'd flown in
From Washington,
To Balmedie in old Scotland,
To see a golf course that I own,
Try a whisky or two!
I told the hotel's stylist lass,
"I want a full spray tan that lasts,
She said: "Aye sir, but might I ask
Ye to take doon your troosers?"
Well I had on no underwear,
(I like to be well-aired 'down there')
So underneath I was full-on bare,
Still I agreed, "Let's do it!"
But, shortly, someone yelled: "Oh, my!
Get out! the hotel is on fire!"
What made the whole thing truly dire?
Hell, I was still butt naked!
Well, I blindly ran
Through here, through there,
Through noisy streets,
I knew not where,
With nary a virus mask to wear,
Hell, I'd kill for some trousers!
I only had a small hand-towel,
"Hurry, get me some clothes!" I howled,
The Scottish lasses rudely yelled: "Wow!
Donald's, lost his troosers!"
Then the wind blew high
Then the wind blew low,
Through my yellow hair,
(Goin' bald below),
Those gigglin' lasses yelled: "Hello!
"Donald's got nae troosers!"
Then the wind blew higher
Then my hair blew freer,
The whole town howled,
"Hey, Donald's here!"
Their wanton lasses yelled: "Oh dear,
Don's still got nae troosers!"
I was not shy that I was bare,
Just angry with my ornery hair,
Coils of it snaked everywhere,
Like Medusa the Gorgon's!
Still the wind went high,
Still the wind went low,
And me with all
My goods on show,
If you read about it though,
It's all fake news, you losers!
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
MACARENA
Performed By Los Del Rios
When I dance, they call me Macarena
And the boys, they say "que estoy buena"
They all want me
They can't have me
So they all come and dance beside me
Move with me
Chant with me
And if you're good, I'll take you home with me
[CHORUS]
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Hey Macarena!
No, don't you worry about my boyfriend
The boy whose name is Vitorino
I don't want him
Couldn't stand him
He was no good so I- [lighthearted laughter]
Now come on, what was I supposed to do?
He was out of town and his two friends were so fine...
[CHORUS]
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Hey Macarena!
Come and find me, my name is Macarena
Always at the party con las chicas que son buena
Come join me
Dance with me
And all you fellows chant along with me
[CHORUS]
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Hey Macarena!
=
DAMN CORONA
By Bruce, A Madman
I am quite a clammy mess, Corona
All the pundits claimed you'd be a goner
You're chaotic
I'm psychotic
Eating all the antibiotics
We're sardines
All crammed in
Unhappy in a year-long quarantine
[CHORUS]
Please go away and decay, you damn Corona
We all waited you'll cease, yet we see that you ain't gonna
Please go ahead and decelerate, Corona
Cure the Corona!
I have a question, awesome Shaman
That local guru, Mr. Fauci
I am grateful
We are grateful
But can we come out, please? [weepy]
Because, come on, what else can I do here?
My children are bored and we saw 'Wall-E' eight times...
[CHORUS]
Please go ahead and be history, Corona
We are home in July where it's humid as a sauna
Please hurry up and evacuate, Corona
Cure the Corona!
I am quite afraid of you, Corona
I wear safety gear more than a man who dates Madonna
Come wash me
Purell me
And maybe have a heart attack with me
[CHORUS]
Please hurry up and de-escalate, Corona
We all had quite enough, from LA to Barcelona
But if you must menace people, damn Corona
Damage the Donald!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Poem by author Laura Kelly Fanucci
"When this is over, may we never again take for granted
A handshake with a stranger
Full shelves at the store
Conversations with neighbors
A crowded theater
Friday night out
The taste of communion
A routine checkup
The school rush each morning
Coffee with a friend
The stadium roaring
Each deep breath
A boring Tuesday
Life itself.
When this ends
may we find
that we have become
more like the people
we wanted to be
we were called to be
we hoped to be
and may we stay
that way — better
for each other
because of the worst."
=
When the disease has faded away,
or we have received effective new vaccines,
I hope we remember to
Whistle, laugh, unleash a guffaw
Celebrate with a Hoorah!
Breathe freely
Rise and shine brightly
Speak with forethought
Be kindhearted
Broadcast beauty
Treat the bruised humanly
Communicate with neighbors
Offer compliments to frowners
Congratulate profusely
Donate to a charity
Meditate wholeheartedly
Stay awake and aware
Be focused at work
Speak truth, not hogwash
Confront the hothead
Petition congressmen/women
Vote in the election!
Maurice Goddard with:
O say can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight
O'er the ramparts we watch'd were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bomb bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there,
O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
=
The Corona pandemic's a real rampant global pest,
The awful pest that has hit today with further unrest.
There's ghastly grim woe fraught with great distress,
In all States from north to south and east to west.
Oh! Eye grieving agony! Woe by the harsh blind fright,
Oh, the groggy hell, as a heartbreaking farewell plight.
The goodbye blow! Untold depart and we could not save,
Where there are herds laid to rest in a shabby mass grave.
1st - Rick Rothstein with:
The moist vagina=
Give this to a man.
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Malignantly dysfunctional =
DT family - all annoying cunts.
3rd - Murray Cameron with:
Penis won't rest =
Persistent now.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Malignantly dysfunctional =
DT family - all annoying cunts.
Jesse Frankovich with:
Tool had ~
hot load.
Meyran Kraus with:
Her: "The date is surprisingly romantic!" =
Him: "Super-nice real tits, so trying hard!"
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Unable to stop myself farting =
Potty's full from eating beans
Murray Cameron with:
Pissed as a newt =
Wasted sapiens
Murray Cameron with:
Penis won't rest =
Persistent now.
Rick Rothstein with:
My wife's see-through panties =
Her fine, tight, awesome pussy.
Rick Rothstein with:
My wife's see-through panties =
Image of her thin, sweet pussy.
Rick Rothstein with:
The moist vagina=
Give this to a man.
Tom Myers with:
One false move =
A love of semen.
Tom Myers with:
Face the truth =
He cut the fart
Tom Myers with:
My mind is pure ‡
I drum my penis.
Tony Crafter with:
Shamima Begum =
Me? I'm a bum-shag!
View with:
The small-chested girl =
Her legs still matched.