1st - Meyran Kraus with:
When I am in the throes of my despair, ~
a tiny shred of hope remains with me.
2nd - Tom Myers with:
Only a matter of time. =
I note my mortal fate.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
Loved on earth, foliage ended up as ~
a pile of dead leaves on the ground.
Adie Pena with:
Loved on earth, foliage ended up as ~
a pile of dead leaves on the ground.
Dharam Khalsa with:
"More fun than a barrel of monkeys" =
Obsolete remark for funny man. Ha!
Dharam Khalsa with:
The Lord works in mysterious ways =
Seems risky. Should I want to worry?
Dharam Khalsa with:
Election prognosticator =
To get a corner on politics.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Sweet potatoes =
To ease stewpot.
Dharam Khalsa with:
"...and I approve this message" =
Ad gives me partisan hopes.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Law enforcement =
Men of new cartel.
Meyran Kraus with:
When I am in the throes of my despair, ~
a tiny shred of hope remains with me.
Murray Cameron with:
Do not try this at home =
Shitty death to moron
Nonce Equitaur with:
Deterministic Chaos =
Heroic Mad Scientist
Phil Carmody with:
Government officials =
Criminal events go off.
Phil Carmody with:
The 'merican dream =
married men cheat ;-)
Phil Carmody with:
Right wing nutjobs =
Big hint: just wrong
Rosie Perera with:
Early-onset Alzheimer's Disease =
Seems a senility zeroed her, alas.
Rosie Perera with:
I'm "asking for a friend" =
Is me, kind of afar. (Grin.)
Rosie Perera with:
Air hugs =
"Hi, sugar!"
Rosie Perera with:
A census enumerator ~
sure counts area men.
Rosie Perera with:
Taxpayer-funded healthcare =
Expect death, a hardy funeral.
Tom Myers with:
Diamonds are a girl's best friend =
Ring lands mister a sofa-bed ride.
Tom Myers with:
My comfort zone. =
For cozy moment.
Tom Myers with:
Lair of the devil =
The evil Florida.
Tom Myers with:
There is a storm coming =
Something more racist.
Tom Myers with:
A call girl notices ~
illegal narcotics
Tom Myers with:
Only a matter of time. =
I note my mortal fate.
Tony Crafter with:
To walk a mile in another man's shoes =
Ah... so we take on his normal ailments?
View with:
The catastrophic failure =
Pathetic fiasco, real hurt.
View with:
Sexualisation of women =
Ow, females ain't noxious!
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
After the Beatles songs, I'll heartily admit: ~
This really is the greatest band of all time.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
"Go ahead punk, make my day." - Dirty Harry (Clint Eastwood) =
"Hi, rat. Okay, is my gun loaded? Empty? Whaddya reckon, rat?"
3rd - Murray Cameron with:
The Pussycat Dolls =
Hotly sculpted ass!
Adie Pena with:
"(I Love You) for Sentimental Reasons" =
Someone very fluent is so rational.
Brian Taylor with:
A reunion of the old 'West Wing' cast =
We sold a counterfeit Washington.
David Bourke with:
The late guitarist Edward Van Halen =
He had unrivaled talent...it was great.
Dharam Khalsa with:
The Banksy remix "Show me the Monet" sells in auction =
Theme boasts a cone, sunken trollies. Why mix them in?
Dharam Khalsa with:
The Ingraham Angle =
Angel? Ha, nightmare!
Meyran Kraus with:
After the Beatles songs, I'll heartily admit: ~
This really is the greatest band of all time.
Murray Cameron with:
The Pussycat Dolls =
Hotly sculpted ass!
Paul Lusch with:
Lindsey Buckingham =
Nicks in my bed. (Laugh.)
Phil Carmody with:
Elliot Rodger's "War on Women" =
Morose loner won't wed a girl
Rosie Perera with:
What's the fuss over Monty Python's "Life of Brian"? =
"Oh," we history buffs vent, "the film annoys pastor."
Tony Crafter with:
"Go ahead punk, make my day." - Dirty Harry (Clint Eastwood) =
"Hi, rat. Okay, is my gun loaded? Empty? Whaddya reckon, rat?"
View with:
"Judas Priest" =
Just despair
Eq1st - David Bourke with:
A further four years of President Donald Trump =
Dystopian future from rather dreadful person.
Eq1st - Adie Pena with:
A "No Mask, No Entry" sign =
Annoying most Karens.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Reasons to re-elect the insane Donald Trump:
1. .................Beats me. :/
=
Reasons to elect Biden as leader:
1. The name's not Trump.
Adie Pena with:
A "No Mask, No Entry" sign =
Annoying most Karens.
Brian Taylor with:
Retail future =
utter failure.
David Bourke with:
The USA President Donald Trump has been hit by Covid =
The matter's sad. I propound bleach in the veins, buddy!
David Bourke with:
Pity...short splash corrupted ~
Christopher Sturdy's laptop.
David Bourke with:
Orange ~
a goner!
David Bourke with:
Hunter Biden's laptop computer =
In a respect, bound to help Trump.
David Bourke with:
The singer Sir Cliff Richard is eighty years old =
Shiny fresh-faced geriatric shortly lies rigid.
David Bourke with:
A further four years of President Donald Trump =
Dystopian future from rather dreadful person.
Dharam Khalsa with:
First US presidential debate =
Pest's rule-defiant diatribes.
Dharam Khalsa with:
The Trump aide Hope Hicks tests positive for COVID =
Oh, sad if victim hoped to keep this virus top secret!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Hurricane Delta =
A certain hurdle.
Dharam Khalsa with:
What's the worst that could happen if Trump is elected? =
At the triumph, the people would watch fascist trends.
John Murray with:
Divorce =
Re: Covid.
John Murray with:
No free school meals during the half term holidays =
Children hunger. I'm ashamed of all these Tory fools
Maurice Goddard with:
The US Presidential Election on November third =
Cheer! Vote Biden *IN*! - *NOT* hostile dense liar Trump!
Meyran Kraus with:
Reasons to re-elect the insane Donald Trump:
1. .................Beats me. :/
=
Reasons to elect Biden as leader:
1. The name's not Trump.
Murray Cameron with:
The US Presidential Elections =
True political seediness then?
Murray Cameron with:
The US Presidential Election =
See epic denial, lies (not truth)
Paul Lusch with:
Republican hypocrisy =
"Principles?" you cry. "Bah!"
Rick Rothstein with:
Second Trump-Biden debate cancelled =
BBC poll: Censure demented candidate.
Rosie Perera with:
What if candidates arise, risk rudeness on prime time? =
"A hot mess, inside a dumpster fire, inside a train wreck."
Rosie Perera with:
"Donald Trump is the worst president we've ever had" =
The named pervert dawdled with response to virus.
Rosie Perera with:
Trump and Melania test positive for Covid =
Impotent; can't avoid imported "false" virus.
Rosie Perera with:
Trump's Covid superspreader event =
Red caps presumed to prevent virus?
Rosie Perera with:
And this year's winning Halloween costume is... =
Witness anew: insane, ugly, homicidal hornets!!
Rosie Perera with:
"I'm predicting an October Surprise" =
Trump describing career position.
Rosie Perera with:
Voter intimidation ~
via idiot in torment.
Rosie Perera with:
Trump is given Regeneron, an antibody cocktail =
"No mask; got brutal Covid-nineteen. I cringe, pray."
Rosie Perera with:
Trump thinks it was "blessing from God" he caught Covid =
The big rotting chump avoids masks, infects world. Ugh!
Rosie Perera with:
Wives of the Deplorables =
Oh, wept over lads' beliefs.
Rosie Perera with:
True hope for a "blue wave" on November Third =
Ah, we vote for hero Biden over unable Trump!
Tom Myers with:
Does a exam, then ~
dexamethasone.
Tom Myers with:
President muting =
Trump's needing it!
Tom Myers with:
Fall surge ~
rages full.
Tom Myers with:
Trump's final debate =
Flatus in bad temper
View with:
We're not going to control the pandemic =
Hard new logic: Men to get no protection.
1st - David Bourke with:
The late guitarist Edward Van Halen =
He had unrivaled talent...it was great.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Late Thespian Sir Thomas Sean Connery =
One manly action star 'reshts in peashe'. :(
3rd - View with:
An English actor Sir Patrick Stewart =
Also captain in Star Trek's crew, right?
David Bourke with:
Hope Charlotte Hicks =
Hospital to check her.
David Bourke with:
The late Sir Peregrine Gerard Worsthorne =
The Telegraph readers in regret, in sorrow.
Dharam Khalsa with:
The United States President Donald Trump =
Dense man that interrupted, disputed, lost.
Maurice Goddard with:
Republican senator, Lindsey Graham =
An uglier mean bad hypocrite snarls!
Meyran Kraus with:
Melania, the wife of President Donald Trump =
"Don't trap me in with deaf old man! I feel super!!"
Meyran Kraus with:
US Circuit Judge Amy Coney Barrett =
Erudite accuracy, yet I'm just no RBG.
Meyran Kraus with:
Late Thespian Sir Thomas Sean Connery =
One manly action star 'reshts in peashe'. :(
Michele Pretolani with:
Eddie Van Halen =
Heaven, I landed
Mike Mesterton-Gibbons with:
Sir David Courtney Suchet =
His ID cues very rotund act.
Murray Cameron with:
Donald Trump =
Odd Tan Lump R
Paul Pan with:
President Donald Trump =
Spent-up old retard mind.
Phil Carmody with:
Trofim Denisovich Lysenko =
No food / victims link? Heresy!
Phil Carmody with:
Scottish Justice Secretary Humza Yousaf =
You must reject his "hate" focus, as it's crazy
Rick Rothstein with:
Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden ~
'dated' n' feared God in Heaven. Amen.
Rosie Perera with:
German Lutheran pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer =
Became irritant; he's hanged for plot on Führer.
Rosie Perera with:
SCOTUS appointee Amy Coney Barrett =
Pretty case; I can be too easy on Trump.
Rosie Perera with:
David Mikkelson, creator of Snopes.com =
Domain proved fact or knocks some lies.
Tony Crafter with:
Jailed socialite Ghislaine Noelle Marion Maxwell =
I joined low, millionaire lech as an illegal-sex mate.
View with:
An English actor Sir Patrick Stewart =
Also captain in Star Trek's crew, right?
1st - Paul Lusch with:
National Forest Foundation =
No end to flora infatuations.
2nd - Murray Cameron with:
Starship Enterprise =
i.e. Shatner's trippers
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Sixteen Hundred Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC =
Now ten have exchanged unplanned nasty virus inside.
David Bourke with:
The Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies =
Rectifying egress of the Coronavirus epidemic.
Dharam Khalsa with:
International Civil Rights Center and Museum of NC =
Find material covering men's sit-in at lunch counter.
Meyran Kraus with:
American Institute of Health Care Professionals =
No free cure for the pain, as that entails 'socialism'.
Murray Cameron with:
Starship Enterprise =
i.e. Shatner's trippers
Paul Lusch with:
National Forest Foundation =
No end to flora infatuations.
Phil Carmody with:
Manet's Olympia =
Simple anatomy
Phil Carmody with:
White Supremacist =
See, Trump is a witch.
Rick Rothstein with:
The Starship Enterprise =
Spies threaten her trips.
Rosie Perera with:
Sixteen Hundred Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC =
Now ten have exchanged unplanned nasty virus inside.
Rosie Perera with:
Operation Warp Speed =
Appropriate new dose?
Rosie Perera with:
Prime Day Deals =
Merely paid ads.
View with:
The metropolitan city of Milan =
Memo to fit: place in North Italy.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Worst Treats For Halloween
1. Toothbrush\Dental floss
2. Apples\Veggies
3. Candy Corn\Raisins
4. Homemade fruitcake
5. Pennies
=
Rudest Tricks This Halloween Season
1. Flaming poo bags
2. T.P. on trees
3. Dead fish on lawn
4. Cheese in car
5. Early votes for Trump
2nd - David Bourke with:
Manchester United and England football player Marcus Rashford
=
Battled for funds so hard-up children can rely on meals. A great man!
3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
We rehash the treats of last season:
* Bit-o-Honey
* M&Ms
* Rolo
* Skittles
* Dots
* Plastic Pez
* Fireballs
(No aspartame, ugh! Ha-ha-ha-ha)
=
Healthiest treats for this year's Halloween bag:
* Small soaps
* Hand sanitizer
* Face mask
* Toothbrush & paste
* Hotel shampoo
David Bourke with:
'Battle Of Brothers: William, Harry And The Inside Story Of A Family In Tumult' by Robert Lacey
=
Diana's dim boy, a rebel, retires with baby from totally, utterly full-of-shit thorny American.
David Bourke with:
The Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, Bethesda, Maryland
=
Recently treated an elderly male retard...is it with ammonia and bleach?
David Bourke with:
Manchester United and England football player Marcus Rashford
=
Battled for funds so hard-up children can rely on meals. A great man!
Dharam Khalsa with:
If Joe Biden wins, he would protect:
* Healthcare
* Immigrants
* Public lands
* Women's rights
* College students
* LGBTQ rights
=
A Donald Trump win will let him bring :
* Hate
* Struggles with cops
* Big fat entitlements
* Squelched jobs
* Scorched regions
Dharam Khalsa with:
We rehash the treats of last season:
* Bit-o-Honey
* M&Ms
* Rolo
* Skittles
* Dots
* Plastic Pez
* Fireballs
(No aspartame, ugh! Ha-ha-ha-ha)
=
Healthiest treats for this year's Halloween bag:
* Small soaps
* Hand sanitizer
* Face mask
* Toothbrush & paste
* Hotel shampoo
George Missailidis with:
Former US police officer Derek Chauvin charged in George Floyd's death then released today on bail (one-million dollars)
=
Can a foolish crook held in gaol for second-degree murder display a deserving of freedom? In hell, I tell you!
"I can't breathe"
George Missailidis with:
The UK Government loses critical data because of a mistake on Excel
=
A geek's execrable take of action came on ultimate NHS Covid results.
Maurice Goddard with:
Biden says he won't return Trump's attacks on his children
because 'it's crass' to target a political opponent's family.
=
Alas, no secret. Trump's Trump! A fat, despicable, loony beast.
The worst, shocking, satanic, lunatic president in history.
Maurice Goddard with:
A fly landed on Mike Pence's head during the debate and rested there for nearly two minutes
=
Eerie dark omen ends there!! Blowflies feed on unhealthy decaying matter, and turd, and pest!
Maurice Goddard with:
Trump: "I feel so powerful. I'll walk into that audience. I'll walk in there, I'll kiss everyone in that audience."
=
To hell with the awful ill twerp! Eerie, no?! Kick puerile evil OUT! Inane infantile dull toad can kiss my arse!
Maurice Goddard with:
Don Jr. dismisses coronavirus deaths: 'The number is almost nothing'
=
Vilest born sorts! Minor's unhinged just the same as his moronic dad!
Meyran Kraus with:
Worst Treats For Halloween
1. Toothbrush\Dental floss
2. Apples\Veggies
3. Candy Corn\Raisins
4. Homemade fruitcake
5. Pennies
=
Rudest Tricks This Halloween Season
1. Flaming poo bags
2. T.P. on trees
3. Dead fish on lawn
4. Cheese in car
5. Early votes for Trump
Rosie Perera with:
"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them." - Galileo
=
Trump and his interlocutor on the heated stage: a steely, testy liar vs. a civil dodderer. Choose one!
Rosie Perera with:
Chris Christie checks into hospital as a "precautionary measure"
=
Crisis seen? Oh, like paranoiac Trump, he's a stout rich charity case.
Tony Crafter with:
The young Princes Edward and Richard, The 'Princes in the Tower' =
Deputy regent Richard Third incarcerated his own nephews? No!
1st - Maurice Goddard with:
"Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us.
To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness."
=
Life's just the fine luck of the draw!
Some are posh, most others poor.
Some win the Lotto. But I won love!
Rosanna! Rosanna! My turtle dove!
Happy! We laugh together as mates,
Then grinning, sing up to the Fates!
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness.=
But the most gloomy misfortune of all was seeing the unleashing of the monstrous Covid-nineteen horror-show upon the planet. At just a stroke, that grim event swept the real happiness away - for good.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
"Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness."
=
That's me -- a poor, shapeless, three-foot-short nothing -- just one unfortunate, often so miserable dwarf. Until I met that kind person, Snow White, taught me everything so gorgeous as love. Call me 'Happy' now.
Adie Pena with:
"Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness."
=
That's me -- a poor, shapeless, three-foot-short nothing -- just one unfortunate, often so miserable dwarf. Until I met that kind person, Snow White, taught me everything so gorgeous as love. Call me 'Happy' now.
Dharam Khalsa with:
"Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness."
=
Trump seen falling in a stream would be tweeted as misfortune (to the Right), or a joke (to the Left). As 'humans', we honor the non-conservative happy soul running past who stops to go get him safely to shore.
Dharam Khalsa with:
"Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness."
=
Resentful, fearing loss of power, Trump mentions to supporters, "Maybe I'll have to leave the country." Though, if it was a harsh attempt at humor, it was an odd, nonetheless honest, joke. When? Get going soon!
Dharam Khalsa with:
"Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness."
=
"Oh, this represents an outspoken lament,
A harsh message to show strong intent:
Though many votes are opportune
To unseat this political buffoon,
We do offer to serve him with legal judgment!"
(lawyer)
Dharam Khalsa with:
"Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness."
=
Weak thoughts: "I'm just a victim, not responsible for any personal loss. The whole world mistreats me."
Strong thoughts: "I am fortunate to have a few fine people to trust, enough energy, and an honest hope."
Maurice Goddard with:
"Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us.
To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness."
=
Life's just the fine luck of the draw!
Some are posh, most others poor.
Some win the Lotto. But I won love!
Rosanna! Rosanna! My turtle dove!
Happy! We laugh together as mates,
Then grinning, sing up to the Fates!
Meyran Kraus with:
"Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness."
=
Sure, most of the tough problems people face here on the planet stem from that... Not violent tornadoes, though. Or intense heat. Or, say, a plague... Know what? Nevermind. This saying is awful. It's just so wrong!
Rosie Perera with:
"Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness."
=
Stendhal implies it would be most salutary for voters if that one jerk Trump weren't to win the Nov. election. He engages in not-too-humane hogwash, gets support from the profane, hates gays, has no soul.
Tony Crafter with:
Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness.
=
But the most gloomy misfortune of all was seeing the unleashing of the monstrous Covid-nineteen horror-show upon the planet. At just a stroke, that grim event swept the real happiness away - for good.
View with:
"Almost all our misfortunes in life come from the wrong notions we have about the things that happen to us. To know men thoroughly, to judge events sanely is, therefore, a great step towards happiness."
=
Coronavirus is one of those things that we just don't apprehend. Men, this ruthless virus makes people shallow 'n' profane. Now we battle to get tatty life, not money. Our enormous ego fight at harsh game!
1st - Tony Crafter with:
The Effects of Coronavirus on Britain's Businesses.
A manufacturer of food blenders has today gone into liquidation.
An origami book company has folded.
A company of aerial installers has called in the receivers.
Key companies have gone into lockdown.
A parachute-making company has been granted a Government bailout package.
The Financial Regulator has ordered British Airways to ex-plane themselves.
A watchsmith has wound down his business and called time.
Novelists in isolation have lost the plot.
The Heinz factory has been canned as they could not ketchup with their orders.
A dog kennels has had to call in the retrievers.
Many dominatrixes have lost business because their male clients are strapped for cash.
~
An Iceland store has had its assets frozen forthwith.
A shoe factory has been soled and all employees given the boot.
The local bra shops have gone bust.
A tarmac company has reached the end of the road.
Water companies are illiquid.
Libraries can't balance their books.
Clinics have lost patience.
A nudist camp has had its assets stripped.
Virgin has lost its Maidenhead office.
Bakers have run out of dough.
Laundrettes have been taken to the cleaners.
Oxo has run out of stock.
Waxing is on the wane.
The RAC Recovery Service is en route to a breakdown.
More annihilation - Anglo Pacific Mining Company has collapsed and gone under.
Our no-heart system is unlawfully milking dairies dry.
And finally: the BLM movement is on its knees.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The 10 Things You Simply Won't Hear Anymore
10. "Turn MTV on, there's a cool new video out!"
9. "Turn the radio on, there's a cool new song out!"
8. "Could you please get off the damn line already? I want to surf the web!"
7. "I did try calling you, but I guess you weren't home."
6. "Bummer, I think we drove the wrong way - let's pull over and get a map out."
5. "I'm in the mood for a proper drama, so let's stop at Blockbuster."
4. "Can't wait to see Harvey Weinstein's next project - I bet it'll be amazing!"
3. "There's such a lovely breeze outside - the weather seems to be nicer and nicer every year!"
2. "Big deal - so it's a new kind of flu, so what? It's the 21st century!"
=
1. "I'm sorry. I regret the things that I've done to you and to our wonderful country. I see now that I've gone wrong, that I became some irredeemable tyrant through threats and extortion, using my power and people's deep trust (for 4 messy years) strictly to benefit me and those around me.
I will of course resign at the end of the speech, would welcome any punitive action against me, and vow to pay back the $68B I embezzled.
I know that you won't buy a word I say now, but here's the actual truth: you should never be narcissistic like me, it'll be useless... Just love one another - after all, we're all we've got." (11.3.2020, 9:57 PM)
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Favorite Halloween yard decorations/costumes last year:
* Ghost
* Black cat
* Witch
* Goblin
* Skeleton/skull
* Gravestone
* Ugly spider web
* Carved pumpkin
=
Halloween decor/disguise for twenty-twenty:
* Coronavirus
* Bats
* Pill
* Candy chute
* Plastic bags/gloves
* KKK cape/mask
* Murder hornets
* A volatile globe
Dharam Khalsa with:
"Don't be afraid of Covid. Don't let it dominate your life. We have developed, under the Trump Administration, some really great drugs and knowledge. I feel better than I did twenty years ago!"
=
I'm utterly infuriated! It was definitely the steroids talking and magnifying an already overdeveloped ego, and the most abominable tweet the foul, now doped, turd ever dared to record!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Several of our favourite compositions by singer-songwriter Steve Winwood:
1. "Gimme Some Lovin'"
2. "Higher Love"
3. "Roll With It"
4. "Valerie"
5. "Back In The High Life Again"
6. "Can't Find My Way Home"
7. "Dear Mr Fantasy"
8. "While You See A Chance"
9. "I'm A Man"
10. "The Low Spark Of High-Heeled Boys"
=
Here we have a groovy hymn's highlight (never macabre, subversive or highly negative):
1. "So glad we made it"
2. "I will wait for it"
3. "When life is too much"
4. "So cool"
5. "I'll be a sight to see"
6. "Come down off your throne"
7. "Make it snappy"
8. "Find romance"
9. "Yes I am"
10. "One final wish"
("Rainmaker"?)
George Missailidis with:
Trump and his wife Melania deemed in hospital condition out from their usual lifestyles after Covid yields and hits them both
=
If that relatively dumb and unrefined president dies? Well, I hope it ain't so foolish of me to say that I couldn't dare miss him much!
Maurice Goddard with:
***** Politics in the Time of Dubya *****
All wish the Senate would see more clearly
Their stupidity increases just about yearly;
Perhaps if the president was not so dumb,
The government would not be such scum.
=
******* The Trumpian Era *******
O! After years with bully Trump's foul imbecility,
Crass cons, and heinous bullshit endlessly,
We now reject this petty huge beast seen so dim,
And educated voters hope to wipe out him!
Meyran Kraus with:
The 10 Things You Simply Won't Hear Anymore
10. "Turn MTV on, there's a cool new video out!"
9. "Turn the radio on, there's a cool new song out!"
8. "Could you please get off the damn line already? I want to surf the web!"
7. "I did try calling you, but I guess you weren't home."
6. "Bummer, I think we drove the wrong way - let's pull over and get a map out."
5. "I'm in the mood for a proper drama, so let's stop at Blockbuster."
4. "Can't wait to see Harvey Weinstein's next project - I bet it'll be amazing!"
3. "There's such a lovely breeze outside - the weather seems to be nicer and nicer every year!"
2. "Big deal - so it's a new kind of flu, so what? It's the 21st century!"
=
1. "I'm sorry. I regret the things that I've done to you and to our wonderful country. I see now that I've gone wrong, that I became some irredeemable tyrant through threats and extortion, using my power and people's deep trust (for 4 messy years) strictly to benefit me and those around me.
I will of course resign at the end of the speech, would welcome any punitive action against me, and vow to pay back the $68B I embezzled.
I know that you won't buy a word I say now, but here's the actual truth: you should never be narcissistic like me, it'll be useless... Just love one another - after all, we're all we've got." (11.3.2020, 9:57 PM)
Paul Pan with:
Borat! Gift of Pornographic Monkey to Vice Premiere Mikhael Pence to Make Benefit Recently Diminished Nation of Kazakhstan
=
The definitive Sacha Baron Cohen film, portraying token Kazakh reporter. Its motif: epic comedian befooling kempt yankee men.
Rosie Perera with:
You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law.
=
The Miranda Warning says: Shut your mouth if you get arrested, even anyone who is not quite a fabulous saint. Stay cagey; no lie.
Rosie Perera with:
Favorite Halloween yard decorations/costumes last year:
* Ghost
* Black cat
* Witch
* Goblin
* Skeleton/skull
* Gravestone
* Ugly spider web
* Carved pumpkin
=
Halloween decor/disguise for twenty-twenty:
* Coronavirus
* Bats
* Pill
* Candy chute
* Plastic bags/gloves
* KKK cape/mask
* Murder hornets
* A volatile globe
Tony Crafter with:
The Effects of Coronavirus on Britain's Businesses.
A manufacturer of food blenders has today gone into liquidation.
An origami book company has folded.
A company of aerial installers has called in the receivers.
Key companies have gone into lockdown.
A parachute-making company has been granted a Government bailout package.
The Financial Regulator has ordered British Airways to ex-plane themselves.
A watchsmith has wound down his business and called time.
Novelists in isolation have lost the plot.
The Heinz factory has been canned as they could not ketchup with their orders.
A dog kennels has had to call in the retrievers.
Many dominatrixes have lost business because their male clients are strapped for cash.
~
An Iceland store has had its assets frozen forthwith.
A shoe factory has been soled and all employees given the boot.
The local bra shops have gone bust.
A tarmac company has reached the end of the road.
Water companies are illiquid.
Libraries can't balance their books.
Clinics have lost patience.
A nudist camp has had its assets stripped.
Virgin has lost its Maidenhead office.
Bakers have run out of dough.
Laundrettes have been taken to the cleaners.
Oxo has run out of stock.
Waxing is on the wane.
The RAC Recovery Service is en route to a breakdown.
More annihilation - Anglo Pacific Mining Company has collapsed and gone under.
Our no-heart system is unlawfully milking dairies dry.
And finally: the BLM movement is on its knees.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
October by H.H. Jackson
The month of carnival of all the year,
When Nature lets the wild earth go its way,
And spend whole seasons on a single day.
The spring-time holds her white and purple dear;
October, lavish, flaunts them far and near;
The summer charily her reds doth lay
Like jewels on her costliest array;
October, scornful, burns them on a bier.
The winter hoards his pearls of frost in sign
Of kingdom: whiter pearls than winter knew,
Oar empress wore, in Egypt's ancient line,
October, feasting 'neath her dome of blue,
Drinks at a single draught, slow filtered through
Sunshiny air, as in a tingling wine!
=
Feelings in general and (frankly long) guarantees of Joseph R. Biden's opponent:
"
I shall make sure our honored laws are dust -
Though to be frank, they're nearly now a bust;
My brain's bent when I listen to a peer,
Then pan the proof and helpful words I hear;
In my eyes, losing is the worst thing ever,
While dealing fresher damage - my endeavor;
I shan't eject harsh statues of sheer racists;
I'll gladly go to war with tanks (let's face it);
I charred (and rather well) renowned commissions;
With staffs, I only relish their audition.
He trims each horrid trick to snatch the crown -
But no abhorrent cop shall bring me down!"
[This particular acrostic was picked because, if the two opponents are switched in the anagram, the 2nd candidate's new and more positive platform emerges...]
Feelings in general and (frankly long) guarantees of Donald J. Trump's opponent:
"
I shall make sure our honored laws are just -
Though to be frank, they're nearly now a bust;
My brain's best when I listen to a peer,
Then pen the proof and helpful words I hear;
In my eyes, posing is the worst thing ever,
While healing fresher damage - my endeavor;
I shan't erect harsh statues of sheer racists;
I'll gladly go to war with banks (let's face it);
I chaired (and rather well) renowned commissions;
With staffs, I only relish their addition.
He tries each horrid trick to snatch the crown -
But no abhorrent con shall bring me down!"
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
MAMMA MIA
The hit single by Abba
I've been cheated by you since I don't know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, w-o-o-o-oh
Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I could never let you go
I've been angry and sad about things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam that door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, w-o-o-o-oh
Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, even if I say
Bye bye, leave me now or never
Mamma mia, it's a game we play
Bye bye doesn't mean forever
Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I could never let you go
=
I LOVE WWW.ANAGRAMMY.COM
(My Union With A Joyous Domain)
I've been doin' this 'gram since I don't know when,
Now it seems to me it's doomed never to end,
Too many vowels, too few consonants,
I don't know how, but the balance is way too wrong
Why'd I choose this unruly song?
It goes on, through all eternity,
On and on (sod it, now I need a wee),
Wee-wee-wee.
Anagrammy, hey you, I'm back again,
I've been wide awake since daybreak,
Doin' the bloody 'gram again,
My my, I have got a headache,
I'd like to kick the habit,
But, like a horny rabbit,
I'm just at it all the time,
Mamma mia, you've got a hold on me,
My my, I would never let you go.
Today the blonde from upstairs rang on my doorbell,
She smiled, "Beneath my robe I am naked as hell,
"Some yummy wine, I have here with me,
"May I come in? You can pop my cork with me!"
I said, "Uh? Don't you be silly!"
"Just one 'U'!" I stamped my feet and I cursed,
"One dumb 'U' and I'd have done the whole verse - just go-o-o!"
Anagrammy, it's my only love,
Yum, yum, I just can't ignore it,
Mamma mia, we go hand in glove,
Yum yum, how much I adore it,
My, it's a fickle lover,
Teases me like no other,
Why why, can't I ever let it go?
I am sleepy, I'm very nearly through,
One verse, then to bed I must go,
Anagrammy, bye bye I'm leavin' you,
But I will be back tomorrow...
Anagrammy, hey it's me again,
My my, oh how much I've missed you,
Anagrammy, bed got in the way,
If you were a dame I'd kiss you!
Ooh, you are where my heart is,
Ooh, you are where my art is,
Mamma mia, you have really lent me a hand,
Wowee! Now I've done my anagram!
3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
Autumn
by Joan Mitchell (age ten)
The rusty leaves crunch and crackle,
Blue haze hangs from the dimmed sky,
The fields are matted with sun-tanned stalks—
Wind rushes by.
The last red berries hang from the thorn-tree,
The last red leaves fall to the ground.
Bleakness, through the trees and bushes,
Comes without sound.
=
Southwestern Autumn
High hills and valleys are ablaze,
Stenchy black smoke clogs the night air;
The underbrush just seems too dry,
Left untended there.
Harsh August sun was hardly tolerable;
Thermometers check on the desert heat.
Hundreds of men with buckets in hand battle strong flames,
Never admit defeat.
1st - Murray Cameron with:
Some nasty dog shite ~
got my shoes stained.
2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
She has ample breasts =
A bra helps the masses.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
This old farmer's penis ~
slid far into Mrs. Sheep.
David Bourke with:
The dating site Dinky One =
I yanked the tiniest dong!
Meyran Kraus with:
This old farmer's penis ~
slid far into Mrs. Sheep.
Murray Cameron with:
Some nasty dog shite ~
got my shoes stained.
Rick Rothstein with:
She has ample breasts =
A bra helps the masses.