Anagrammy Placings by Jon Gearhart in 1999
All the highly-placed anagrams by Jon Gearhart from the 1999 Anagrammy Awards.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, January 1999:
eq.3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Circumstantial Evidence =
Cum-stained tail 'n' crevice!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, March 1999:
1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Piano
Man
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, May 1999:
eq.3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
"The Grapes of Wrath" by John Steinbeck =
"These Taste of Hen-crap" by H. Bowking Jr.
GENERAL CATEGORY, June 1999:
eq.1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Stipend =
Spend it.
RUDE CATEGORY, June 1999:
eq.2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Another satisfied customer =
Rotate inside her; Cum so fast.
LONG CATEGORY, June 1999:
eq.2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Confucius said, "To know that we know what we know, and that
we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge."
=
"To not know what we do know, and we know that we know that
we do not know;
Is that true knowledge?"
Confucius said, "WHAT?!?"
RUDE CATEGORY, July 1999:
1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Buster Hymen =
Enter my bush!
SPAM CATEGORY, July 1999:
1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Check this out! Too much fun!! Magic tricks, jokes, photos, recipes,
WAV's, and fun. A lot of fun. See me tie a necktie, one-handed,
in one second, blindfolded. Then, I tear up a newspaper and restore
it. I'll teach you magic. 1000 photos for wallpaper. Free slideshow
programs. A LOT of recipes. A ton of really cool helpful links
of all types.
=
We use spam to amuse us. I'll confess, I have loads of fun getting
cocky spam accounts killed off. Please remit an appropriate fee
($1000) ASAP to: Jon Gearhart's recent address -- no phone calls.
You'll be shipped out a hot, poop-like concoction within like
a week as reminder. Hurry! Don't elect to hold off or flinch --
the offer will end.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, July 1999:
3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Imagine
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 1999:
eq.2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Leonardo da Vinci's "Mona Lisa" =
A sardonic smile on an ol' diva.
RUDE CATEGORY, August 1999:
1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Erection? Thrust it on in. =
O, insert it into her cunt!
SPAM CATEGORY, August 1999:
1st - Jon Gearhart with:
P.S. To be promptly removed from any future emails from us please
just "reply" to this message and type the single word
"remove" in either the subject field or in the message
text itself. It's that easy. And in most cases you will be removed
from future email lists within 24 hours!
This E-mail was sent by an independent marketing company and we
appologize for any inconvenience.
Under Bill S.1618 Title III passed by the 105th U.S. Congress
this E-mail can not be considered "spam" as long as
we offer you a no-cost way to remove your name and E-mail address
from our mailing list.
=
I wouldn't respond in if I were you, ninny; it's a pimpish way
dirty rotten 'closet' spammers in general test if they've reached
correct addresses on active e-mail accounts. Surprise!! You're
name is probably sold (fast) to umpteen master mailing lists.
Some hide behind the laws by giving you options to tell them to
delete your name. While it seems extremely logical and safe, some
superlosers (big net zeroes) make advantages of loopholes and
bombard countless men and women with juvenile, spam-type stuff.
They suffer. No fair! It's a sin!! I'm fumin' mad!!! -- Jon Gearhart
LONG CATEGORY, August 1999:
3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
How doth
the little crocodile
SPECIAL CATEGORY, August 1999:
eq.2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
A
Dream by Edgar Allan Poe
SPECIAL CATEGORY, August 1999:
eq.2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Fire and Ice
by Robert Lee Frost
SPAM CATEGORY, September 1999:
3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Unfortunately some of the email addresses in our list are hi jacked
and not posted by the owner. Please help us to clean up our in
house email list to avoid molesting people in the future.
=
Molest, eh? Rape, pillage, or plunder are one mean style. Aha,
he has thee unfortunate impression I am stupid. Note: I don't
repond well to vacuous, unsolicited e-stuff, ok ye jis-soiled
butthole?
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, September 1999:
eq.2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Fidel Castro =
It's cold fear.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 1999:
eq.1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Song
by Edgar Allan Poe
GENERAL CATEGORY, October 1999:
3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Hermaphrodite =
Adept him OR her.
SPAM CATEGORY, October 1999:
2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Please check us out for all you gift and shopping needs. =
(1) Slide the log up ass.
(2) Crap.
(3) Then go fondle a penis, you fuck!
RUDE CATEGORY, November 1999:
2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jumped over
The candlestick
=
Jack need quim?
Bet Jack be back.
He'd poke Jill's 'v' --
Jet cum in crack!
SPAM CATEGORY, November 1999:
3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Everyone likes making easy money. This place pays you 50 cents
for every hour you browse the web!!! Get even more if you refer
people! I just got a check for $36.00!!!
=
Phooey! You're one heevee-geevee, screwy corpse-fucker!! Sorry
-- all you EVER get is $0.00, not to mention junk mail 365 times
per year. Oh, by the way -- FUCK OFF, PISS-BAG!!!
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, November 1999:
3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Jim Kalun =
Junk-mail.
RUDE CATEGORY, December 1999:
eq.3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
"If you offered me a 69 this morning, I'd have been all over you."
Golfer SAM TORRANCE, BBC 2 =
Feel me come feverish if nibble at my sac, hard boner.
Tongue drool for your vagina.
SPAM CATEGORY, December 1999:
3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Dear friend:
Please to Free Sex Links if you are over 21. There almost updata
everyday. A lot of adult pictures wait for you to download. I
will settle any pazzle under 24 hours when that server arise mistake.
=
Dear Lazy Fat-Ass,
Dude, I've enrolled you in the next "How to Write a Real
Letter" class, freakish spam-lover! Don't E-ver write me
a word until you pass -- I.E.: a far off year like 2421, stupid
putz!!
You're hated a ton, LOSER!!!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, December 1999:
3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
To the
Holy Spirit
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