Anagrammy Placings by Jon Gearhart in 2000
All the highly-placed anagrams by Jon Gearhart from the 2000 Anagrammy Awards.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, February 2000:
1st - Jon Gearhart with:
South Carolina Republican Primary =
Bush popularity ran o'er liar McCain!
LONG SPAM CATEGORY, February 2000:
2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
America's Secret Police
Harassment groups in the United States have obtained advanced
surveillance equipment and non-lethal weapons. These groups do
illegal surveillance of the person they target and then attack
that person with non-lethal weapons. Men, women, and children
with mental conditions are primary targets for these groups but
a person's past history, current behavior, race, and sexual orientation
could also qualify them as a target. Please read about these groups
at the URL listed below. Nothing is for sale. If you have trouble
accessing the web site please email me. Sorry if you receive this
message more than once.
URL: http://ourworld.cs.com/soundweapon/
Thank you,
soundweapon@cs.com
=
Anagrammer's Secret Revenge Plan
Dear Soundweapon,
Hello there, nut! It's quite plain to see this is a passionate plea. All at Alt.Anagrams loved the post so much we're gonna share with the appropos internet provider. I'm sure you'd like us to keep them informed of these illegal activities. They'll probably be contacting to show appreciation, being sure to tell exactly what'll be done and showing how much this post means to them.
In case you're unsure, that's actual sarcasm, stupid fat-headed bastard. A few hours from now your LAN account should be gone, cunt-sinner--closed for service term violations.
Have a nice day!
enragedspamroasterschant@nooneherecares.nowpleaserunquietlyorgetnutscrushed.net
LONG SPAM CATEGORY, March 2000:
2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
"To be honest, the dating scene can be boring; lovers can
be disappointing; and sex less than stimulating. I want a man
who can keep up with my aroused state of mind and hot body.
You gota ckeck this out http://3519290983
I'm convinced that This may be the only way a man that wants me can get next to me."
Im so excited I just want to tell someone ! you will be to
!
http://3519290983
Thank you and have a GREAT Day
=
"The truth? I am one hideous beast. No man wanted to even take a chance dating me. That's why I've got a plan to entice men to go to my xxx-site to join with 99,999,988,553,333,221,100 naked taboo video cum shots (not actually me) and send snapshots containing them. Between my hairy back, ass, armpits, scabby cunt-patch, and generally butt-ugly self, I would send them away into hiding."
A hot tip: poke-a-twot.net
LONG CATEGORY, March 2000:
2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam
And the deer and the antelope play
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day
Home Home on the range
Where the deer and the antelope play
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day
=
Oh show me a land where there's animals grand
And I'm sure to be one happy lad
Where every herd has this laddy allured
When goats start to lick the gonad
Moaned moaned and arranged
One goat to lick me all day-eee
While I'd much prefer a piece o' gal fur
Oh, I do see there's truly no way-eee!
(ho-dee-doh-doh)
GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2000:
eq.3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
"He required a breathalyser test." =
Larry Brash, quiet as he teetered...
RUDE CATEGORY, April 2000:
eq.3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Dr. Alex Comfort, author of "The Joy Of Sex" =
X-rated theme: Oral joy -- crux of shoot-off.
LONG SPAM CATEGORY, April 2000:
3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
-- > * D E A D L I N E * is this Sunday! < --
Start a proven home business within 72 hours using Microsoft's foolproof sales recipe for Internet success. Your exclusive report reveals how to get a *FREE* business building CD-ROM, TURN 50 cents into $50 with a click of a button, 5-page WebSite and *FREE* reprint and marketing rights to $1073.00 in software products! Don't miss the deadline!
For your *FREE* report:
Click Here:
mailto:xyz4044@21cn.com?subject=cdrom2000
-OR-
Send an email to xyz4044@21cn.com
with cdrom2000 as the subject.
P.S.
Act NOW! -- Only the first 75 requests will be granted to receive
this Special Report for *FREE*. Bonus report given to the first
35 people to respond within the next 24 Hours.
Your FREE Report request will be fulfilled in the order in which it was received... Thank you.
=
-- >* A T T E N T I O N* dickless spammers! < --
Send our required $777,555,544,440 in the next 24 hours or suffer strict consequences. BEWARE: If you didn't pick this fee, we'd have no choice but to strap you in a chair, forcing you to listen to Yoko Ono's Worst Songs [tautology?] 4,433,222,220,000,000 times, or 'til you tell us to rip your heart through an orifice we chose, ending the droll, senseless, suffering existence.
The first 5 hundred shrewd respondents will receive a coupon for 1 butt-wax from Bob R. McSchlect's House of Extracted Anal Hair 'N' Wart Removal.
There's STILL MORE!! The first 100,000 persistent jerk-off spammer twits that accept our offer will receive a BRAND NEW cod-scented, jizz-blob dripping, purple-veiny, erect nob probing deep inside their torn, raw rectums!!! Limit 1 per visit.
LONG CATEGORY, April 2000:
2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Online D'Zigns
Specialists In Web Page Graphic Design & Logo Development.
We Offer An Array Of Services To Fit Your Needs. Be It Business
Or Personal, We Can Design A Layout That Fits You. We Can Use
Your Design Ideas And Make Them Sing, Or If You Prefer, You Can
Have One Of Our Trained Professional Graphic Artists Work With
You To Capture The Feel You Are Looking For.
Whatever Your Needs, Online D'Zigns Will Fill Them To Your Satisfaction!
Look Through Our Web Site - Enjoy Yourself. If You Have Any Questions,
Please Feel Free To Contact Us And We'll Be Happy To Answer Them
All.
Please feel free to visit us at: http://www.sincity1.com/onlinedzigns
UZt?B
=
Hello To All Alt.Anagram Faithful!
Yes, I Capitalize All Words I Write 'Cause I'm One Super-Moron -- Yes, A Grossly Offensive Stupid Fucking Festered Zero, Not Fully Sure What Words Should Be Capitalized. Yes, In Fact, Don't Have Clue One How To Market Anyone's Services, So Of Course You're Fully Aware I Don't Even Know How To Finish Laying Out A Web Page. You Realize I Just Want Your Card Number So I Can Use It Getting Off On Every Pornography Page I Find On This Planet. Yes, Ann, I Confess I Won't Go Away Until I Get It, So Please, Offer Me Endless Help. Take Pity On These Pathetic Wretch Requests Soon. Right Now If Possible. I'd Be Forever In Your Generous Debt.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2000:
1st - Jon Gearhart with:
The United States Olympian Michael Johnson repeats as the 400-meter dash champion =
Athlete steals 400 second time? Ahh... poetry in motion. Perhaps he's just a damn machine!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, October 2000:
2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
The
Land of Beyond
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