Anagrammy Placings by Don P. Fortier in 2001
All the highly-placed anagrams by Don P. Fortier from the 2001 Anagrammy Awards.
RUDE CATEGORY, January 2001:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
Autoerotic asphyxiation =
I act out sex. No air? Oh, a pity.
ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY, January 2001:
3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
DUE TO THE RECENT INCREASE OF POPULARITY & RESPECT THIS PROGRAM HAS ATTAINED, IT IS CURRENTLY WORKING BETTER THAN EVER =
Larry Brash's intent is to entice & to protect the unfettered crap. They keep recurring to provide us with anagrams. (A lie?)
So we need to probe harder, investigate the irritating & unrepentant poster (a chore!) I rather suspect crafty Mick Tully!
On the other hand, couldn't Mey Kraus possibly create & reprise transparent farce without getting erratic, repetitive? =
California student Ben Yackley reiterates that recent mad & pretentious "report" crap? Proving he's the writer is tough.
True poet David Bourke preparing a reluctant & tragic confession: he wrote the trite perennial trash. "My shitty secret."
Richard Brodie threatening to turn up a terrifying Psalms tract to stop these cute & cheeky Revelations we air. (Repent!)
Ms. Burholt & Art appreciate their inclusion here, pretending to take pride at such near-witty travesty. "Forget encores!"
SPAM CATEGORY, February 2001:
eq.3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Nymphomaniacs Out of Control
Hardcore Adult Action
Live instant XXX action is right HERE
=
Hi!
Having to coax cash from horny, stupid man?
Learn to extract a lot.
I do excel in instruction.
GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2001:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
"Are you the Messiah?" =
"Ah, so true. Yes, I am He."
LONG CATEGORY, April 2001:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
WOMEN
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving.
They are smart; knowing that knowledge is power. But know how
to use their softer side to make a point.
Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and
themselves.
Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the
loss of a family member, even when it is an in-law.
They are strong when they think there is no strength left.
A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They can drive
you wild, would fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much
they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They
give compassion and ideals. They give moral support those around
them.
And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the
same to people to whom you care.
MEN
Men are good at lifting heavy things and fixing stuff.
=
CATS
...are friendly, but aloof, independent.
Kitties have warm, soft fur... and leave it everywhere.
They jump into your lap and get comfortable.
They know good grooming and make a show out of washing themselves.
They rub against your leg, when they feel like it, and bury their
own poop, often in your garden.
They are good with high numbers: feline moms like to raise large
families.
Even when one is small in size, it has the heart of a jungle lion.
A harsh warning hiss may be harmless, but hold on...
don't forget about those sharp claws and fangs they have!
Cats know no laws, morals, or embarrassment.
They know how to chase mice in dark rooms, how to flip over in
midair, how to pounce, and how to make "meow" mean whatever
they want it to.
Envy them, the smartest animals in the world: they sleep a minimum
of fifteen hours a day.
They are content to sit in a window and watch the world go by.
DOGS
...expect you to walk them, even in the rain.
SPAM CATEGORY, July 2001:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
Pinnacle Deals is a free site that provides daily updates of the
hottest and most difficult to find deals. Additionally, we have
secret coupon codes forover 250 stores and a community where you
can exchange deal information withother users. Always check our
site before you buy something online. Chances are, we'll save
you money.
=
52 weeks each year,
Some base act crawls in here.
Almost every other day,
I could shovel stuff away.
I could see SPAM from the start:
Such an odd idiotic fart.
No one needed you around,
So bug off, cheesy clown!
Except for a simple mind,
I guarantee you'll find
0 interest, (not a whit!)
In that "secret coupon" shit.
Even *I'll* avoid... those easily annoyed. :-)
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