Anagrammy Placings by Meyran Kraus in 2001
All the highly-placed anagrams by Meyran Kraus from the 2001 Anagrammy Awards.
GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Antidemocratic =
Dictator came in.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, January 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Metallica's Albums =
Musical meatballs!
SPAM CATEGORY, January 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
So my friend, I have given you the ideas, information, materials
and opportunity to become financially independent.
=
A Nice Ode
Shit-I'm-Creepy Vermin-Food,
Please pal, I ain't in the mood.
Ads again?! Leave or find, nut,
My foot in yer ninny butt!
LONG SPAM CATEGORY, January 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The site will answer these questions:
What if my broker does not understand this?
How is this different from any other trading system?
How successful is this program?
What does it cost to subscribe?
What do I get for my money?
What if my broker does not want to learn this method?
Can you explain how you calculate these numbers?
=
Six best queries this odd, shitty site of moronic mom-suckers
ignored:
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why are gas-station bathrooms bolted? Do they fear someone'll
clean them?
Why don't cows shrink when it rains?
Can't 'phonetic' be spelled that way?
Why term it *life* insurance?
Why do you goat-butts-stuffers nitwits fume me so?!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, January 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The National Gallery =
Hail only elegant art.
ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY, January 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Let's look at some of the top-grossing cinematic features in the USA: =
'Titanic': The film gets cute as Rose lets go of one Romeo at a sunk ship...
'Forrest Gump': So, a nice stooge, a *fool*, is the luckiest man in the state?!
'Home Alone': Nice tot gets (then uses) gifts - mutilates a pair of crooks!
'The Lion King': Animators use computer tool-sets; see 'Cat Fights a Foe'.
'E.T.': Focus on a cute alien's task to go "Phone Home". I stress it - great film!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, January 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Several treatments of a pair of acrostic poems,
one by Carroll to a friend and one by Poe's ill wife to her husband.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, February 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Charles Dickens's 'Oliver Twist' =
The classic writer's kids' novel!
RUDE CATEGORY, February 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
'Snow White's Nasty Adventures', The X-Rated Video =
Sexy tart does in-and-out with the seven dwarves!
SPAM CATEGORY, February 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
vibrators,
stimulators,
bondage fantasy,
lotions & oils,
videos & dvds,
erotic clothing,
pleasure kits,
toys for men & women.
=
bits of dirt,
filthy cat,
naked-moron pics,
stale mayo,
'Survivor' videos,
grannie's undies,
Worst Motto balloons,
Lego sets.
LONG SPAM CATEGORY, February 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
T E S T I M O N I A L S *******
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, February 2001:
eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with: [An 18th century composer]
Giovanni Pergolesi =
I love opera singing!
ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY, February 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Did you know only these three motion pictures won the five most valuable and prestigious Academy Awards? =
'It Happened One Night': Mousy runaway heiress (diva Claudette Colbert) soaks a wonderful movie's witty mood.
'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest': Wild guy tries to start a mutiny in a madhouse. Movie is hard and bawdy, people!
'The Silence of the Lambs': A murderous, devouring Lecter (Hopkins) dupes a woody SWAT team on a way to divinity.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, February 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
George
Meredith: Love in the Valley
GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
A polygraph test =
Goal: Trap the spy.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, March 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Pirated Songs? =
Napster is God.
RUDE CATEGORY, March 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A Ten-Inch Dick =
Nice and thick!
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, March 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Michelangelo Merisi Caravaggio =
Sheer magical image via coloring.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, March 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Space Station Mir =
Estimate crash point.
ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY, March 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Displaying all of the five nominees for Best Director: =
Ang Lee: Inspired story (of Chinese form) of livid battle.
Stephen Daldry: Terrific movie of goofiness in ballet.
Ridley Scott: Offensive prime in Flesh & Bone "Gladiator".
Steven Soderbergh: Film lady "Erin" - life to soap-fiction.
Steven Soderbergh: Position one film ideally - "Traffic".
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, March 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The US president so likely yelps:
"O Mother! I'm in need!
Give only twenty dollars - 'kay, just one -
I really must have weed!"
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, April 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Vincent Van Gogh's Self Portrait With Severed Ear =
Provocative strength, as ever, in the self-drawing.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, April 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic =
Envious cops storm fiend's roomy Belgrade villa.
SPAM CATEGORY, April 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Work at Home Network with our company was reviewed and published
- Wall Street Journal Business Week, Home PC, Forbes
=
Web-horror Norenwood Jake
Sent himself spam by mistake;
Server blew up-
Uh-oh, screwed up!
One client was what it would take!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, April 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Spamagram: The Raven
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, May 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Late Author Douglas Adams =
Made us laugh too hard at tales!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, May 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The British author Douglas Adams died suddenly of a heart attack =
A sad, absurd end of a truly mad lad. A toast to "The Hitch Hiker's Guide"!
SPAM CATEGORY, May 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A PERSONAL NOTE FROM THE ORIGINATOR OF THIS PROGRAM:
By the time you have read the enclosed program, you may have concluded that an amateur could not have created such a legal program that works.
Let me tell you a little about myself. I had a profitable business for 10 years. Then in 1979 my business began falling off. I was doing the same things that were previously successful for me, but it wasn't working. Finally, I figured it out. It wasn't me, it was the economy. Inflation and recession had replaced the stable economy that had been with us since 1945.
I don't have to tell you what happened to the unemployment rates...because many of you know from first hand experience. There were more failures and bankruptcies than ever before.
The middle class was vanishing. Those who knew what they were doing invested wisely and moved up. Those who did not, including those who never had anything to save or invest, were moving down into the ranks of the poor. As the saying goes, "THE RICH GET RICHER AND THE POOR GET POORER." The traditional methods of making money will never allow you to "move up" or "get rich", inflation will see to that.
=
AN ENRAGED RESPONSE TO THIS UNFORGIVABLE WEB OFFER:
Hi, unworthy beggar. By the time you read this my cugine may already be on his way to your apartment to gut you and then dance on the mutilated corpse.
Let me mention my name, fucker. I'm Don Tito "The Gravedigger" Vampari. I'm Italian and have a very loving, real *devoted* family. We settled here in the United States to sell, uh, wool-clips and nose-powder.
Now, only 'cause Tito takes care of business every day doesn't mean Tito can't surf the net a little bit at night, right? Wrong. See, some fucking idiot gets in Tito's way when he surfs with his goomah and makes him unhappy - and datsa you.
Well, I'll be honest- we're no strangers to spam. Our dear friend and peer, Ton "The Velvet Glove" Reelilocco, the lord have mercy on his soul, explored the web-shakedowns occupation for a while. He forgot, however, that Vin "The Milkman" Eatcheerios had his hands on the whole web shit for ages. Now Ton has a pair of cement shoes and greets the fish from the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.
Wanna be a wise guy? Fuck off or I'll turn your pisello into my Rottweiler's lunch. COPPISH?!
Wrathful,
Don Vampari
LONG CATEGORY, May 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
THE APRIL ANAGRAMMY WINNERS
GENERAL
Richard Grantham:
Bottles of hydrogen peroxide
Good tip there for sexy blonde.
ENTERTAINMENT
Richard Grantham:
Oscar Wilde's "De Profundis" =
Prison life cued sad words.
TOPICAL
David Bourke:
The American spyplane =
Chinese play mean trap.
RUDE
Adrian Hickford:
Empty penis?
Yep, I'm spent.
SPAM
Richard Grantham:
!!!!!!P O R N O M A N I A!!!!!!
Fifty Naked Beauties!
LONG SPAM
Richard Grantham:
Hi! My name is Betty Wilson.
LONG
Larry Brash:
Two households, both alike in dignity
PEOPLE'S NAME
Jaybur:
M. Etienne de Silhouette =
The esteemed in outline.
OTHER NAME
Jaybur:
The Israeli Airline =
El Al: I rise in the air!
SET
Adrian Hickford:
Five classic authors of the horror genre whose take on life is
downright macabre and slightly loopy:
SPECIAL
James H. Young:
WHAT ARE THE HALLMARKS OF A GOOD ANAGRAM?
David Bourke:
Mambo No 5 - Lou Bega
Meyran Kraus:
We want to spend less time on the busy freeways
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE
Mike Keith:
He, Lewis, grabbed the vibrant role,
Assembled dreams and rhymes with glee,
But vowed that one most mighty goal:
Originality.
AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE AWARD FOR THE BEST NON-WINNING ANAGRAM
Don P. Fortier:
"Are you the Messiah?" =
"Ah, so true. Yes, I am He."
=
HOW TO WIN AN ANAGRAMMY
By Meyran K.
As I read the April results, I learned some handy hints:
GENERAL
Earthy humor is not necessarily Rude.
ENTERTAINMENT
Perfect grammar makes one's anagram rather memorable, as exhibited
here.
TOPICAL
The more relevant it is, the better; preferably about an item
inside a month.
RUDE
If it's not about a hard-on, try and force in 'Dildo' somehow.
SPAM
Angry and homicidal = Hilarious.
LONG SPAM
Segmentations are highly useful here.
LONG
Comment on a text thoroughly... Right, I'll do my best.
PEOPLE'S NAME and OTHER NAME
Three words: Keep it simple.
SET
Dead... Heck, just when I got the hang of it.
SPECIAL
James Y's 'gram: Self-reference, irony and group-insight are indeed
in fashion.
David B's 'gram: More group-insight here! This is definitely needed.
Mey K's 'gram: IMHO, I don't know why we let that childish prick show his heaps of crap in our group. And, like, get a *real* name, won't you?!
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE
Just a wee poem, don't be afraid!
AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE
Picked by Larry Brash, so brown-nosing that formidably kind-hearted
Dr. will probably help, along with a bribe of, uh, Israeli baklavas?...
In short, to achieve an award your 'gram has to be apt, plain, relevant, sectioned and self-aware.
So...?
SPECIAL CATEGORY, May 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Dora
Sigerson: Ireland
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, June 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Royal Shakespeare Company =
One may appear there as Shylock.
SPAM CATEGORY, June 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
SWEET VJESTIKA APHRODISIA DROPS (tm) TANTRA PLEASURE SACRAMENT
Indeed; a HeavenSent Treasure of Pleasure!!
To entice your Passion,
To intrigue your Desire,
Enchantment's Rapture;
Sweet Vjestika Fire....
SWEET VJESTIKA APHRODISIA DROPS EXTRAVAGANTLY INSPIRES AND ENHANCES:
*Penile & clitoral sensitivity
*Sensitivity to touch
*Desire to touch
*Desire to be touched
*Fantasy
*Lust
*Rapture
*Erogenous sensitivity
*Uninhibitedness
*Sexual courageousness
*Sexual gentleness and ferocity
SWEET VJESTIKA APHRODISIA DROPS(tm)
*Prolongs and intensifies foreplay;
*Prolongs and intensifies orgasm / climax;
*Inspires body, mind, spirit orgasm / climax;
*Inspires and enhances body, mind, spirit communion betwixt lovers;
*Inspires and enhances the enchantment / glamourie of Love....
Sweet Vjestika is a Chimera Tantric proprietary glamourie / enchantment Fantasia Amalgamation for men and women, comprised of high ratio extracts derived from the following Herbs of Power which are master blended to emphasis extravaganza body, mind, spirit erogenous sensory awareness and gourmet carnal delight.
=
SPAMMERS' PISS-IN-A-CAN (RIP): NOW WITH EXTRA FELINE EXCREMENT!
Oh, man! Just sip it for some superior DeathBed Orgasm-Spasms!!
Sir, drop your Finesse!
Miss, don't be so Prissy!
For a real gross Surprise
Just drink Something Pissy!
SPAMMERS' PISS-IN-A-CAN INSPIRES:
*Toe deformity
*Red urine
*Heavy wheezing
*Foot-ache
*Regurgitation
*Testicle swelling
*The bent feeling of outrageous love towards Chevy Chase
*The rotten taste of death
*Excruciating pain
*Your expiring and our rejoicing
*Net-serenity regeneration
PISS-IN-A-CAN IS ALSO:
*Vitamin-free
*Unsweetened
*Vital for a hit-job or a personal vendetta
*Environmentally friendly
*Available in pink!
Piss-in-a-can is the latest from Kraus Spam Termination Co., the same that introduced the Web Wanker's Spider Egg and the E-mail Cretin's Deadly Donut. It contains eighteen rare germs, dangerous sedatives AND awesome laxatives, natural murderers as viper venom, strychnine and poison-oak sap and chemical toxins as arsenic trioxide! Don't be tentative! Just push the cap and have a blast, and recommend it to your friends so you low spam-idiots will cease to exist.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, June 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Diet Pepsi Cola =
It's acid, people!
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, July 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Victor Hugo's 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' =
Savour the unmatched gothic French book.
SPAM CATEGORY, July 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Take a minute to fill out the simple form below and receive a
quote comparing the best values from among hundreds of the nation's
top insurance companies!
First Name:
Last Name:
Address:
City:
State:
Zip:
Phone:
Best Time To Call:
Email:
Gender:
-Male
-Female
Date of Birth:
Type of Insurance:
Insurance Amount:
Do You Currently Own An Annuity?
-Yes
-No
Would You Be Interested in Annuity Information?
-Yes
-No
Height:
Weight:
Tobacco Use:
-Never smoked or used nicotine
-Quit less than 1 yr ago
-Quit 1-3 yrs ago
-Quit 3-5 yrs ago
-Quit over 5 yrs ago
-Currently smoke cigarettes
-Other nicotine use-cigars/pipe/chew/patch
Health Status:
-Excellent: trim and athletic, no medications
-Good: no infirmities and no medications
-Fair: slightly overweight or taking medication
-Poor: have/had a serious health condition
Health conditions?
-Yes
-No
Prescription medications?
-Yes
-No
Do you engage in any hazardous activities? (i.e.scuba, skydiving,
private pilot, etc.)
-Yes
-No
Did your parents or siblings have heart disease or cancer prior
to age 60?
-Yes
-No
=
Quoted from the NRA Application Questionnaire:
Name:
Tattoos:
Farm/Oilfield:
Age:
-Under 15
-Over 63
Education:
-High School
-Other?!?!
Monthly Gun-Budget:
-Over a hundred G's
-Over nine hundred G's
-Unlimited
Are You a Man?
-Yes
-Shit, yes
-No, but I'm becomin' one next week
Are You a Republican?
-Yes
-Sure
-Obviously
Complete this sentence: "Immigrants are..."
-Quite sweet
-A menace to our country
-Target practice
Complete this sentence: "A paranoid is..."
-Insane
-An imaginative man
-Always prepared
Most Prized Possession:
-A boycotted dynamite load
-10 D.U.I. reports
-A dagger collection
-A '53 Dodge
A Movie/TV Icon:
-Rocky I
-Rocky II
-Rocky IV
-The Three Stooges
Which of these phrases is 'Politically Incorrect'?
-Nosy Chinks
-Spotty Niggers
-Pansy-Ass Faggots
-Voodoo Indians
-Lovely Nazis
-Gee, ain't nuttin' here politely incorrected
You can intermit a theft by...
-Alertin' a squad car
-Needlin' each of the bastard's eyes
-Forcin' the demon to eat his own gonads
It's wrong to hunt...
-If the animal is unique
-If I run out of ammunition
-This isn't a realistic situation.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, July 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Pietro Mascagni =
Isn't opera magic?
SPECIAL CATEGORY, July 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Peace
by Henry Vaughan, anagrammed into paraphrases of three existing poems also related to roses.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
William Butler Yeats =
Sit, write me a lullaby.
GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Nude Modelling =
Indulge old men.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The World Trade Center Towers in Manhattan, New York City =
Ah, went down in the worst terror attack recently; many die.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, September 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Renaissance Painter Michelangelo Buonarroti =
A genuine Roman creator - labor in the Sistine Chapel!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
[A selection of Caravaggio-related anagrams.]
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio =
I color image in grave, magical shade.
O, each allegoric image is raving mad.
Mad vision? Ah, image allegoric grace.
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio's 'Judith and Holofernes' =
Oh, a vein's ejaculating, flooding her, as her old maid grimaces.
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio's 'David and Goliath' =
'A Clad Child Removing a Giant Rival's Head' is a good image.
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio's 'The Entombment of Christ' =
Ah, face highest, tragic moment - 'Immortal Savior Being Enclosed'.
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio's 'The Conversion of Saint Paul' =
One eager horse clumps along at a magical vision of a divine Christ.
Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio's 'The Crucifixion of Saint Peter' =
Ah, massive piece of a grim execution. Again, terrific colors and light!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, October 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
US Strikes Taliban =
Is Kabul resistant?
SPAM CATEGORY, October 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Our program simply involves the folding and processing of pamphlets.
YOU WILL RECEIVE A FULL $1.00 FOR EACH AND EVERY PAMPHLET THAT
YOU PROCESS! What do we mean by process? It's simple...
FIRST: You will neatly fold the provided preprinted single-sided (8 1/2 by 11 inch) pamphlets into thirds [The pamphlet that you will be processing will be provided to you and will be printed on regular 20 lb. (8-1/2 by 11) inch paper.
SECOND: You will neatly insert the folded pamphlets into the pre-addressed, postage paid envelopes [These envelopes will be sent directly to your home, dorm or apartment with customers' names and addresses already printed on the envelopes along with postage already affixed to the envelopes].
THIRD: Lick and seal these envelopes and then send them out, directly to the customers.
=
Hello Mr. Services and may your cave collapse,
I'm self-employed, middle-old people. Though I despise your oppressive country deepfully, your spam letter positively caught my eyeballs. Since I, as well, prepare many envelopes presently, I appeal, Mr. Services, to swap some odd tips. Preferredly, I love to learn how to spot stupid spelling and how to powder the paper more splendidly.
Now this other thing to tell. Despite you're repelling fart, the love to terror is evident. I then hand in the capacity of butler down in my bunker. The services are to fold tights, test bombshells and pamper infants. The wages can be standard then degraded. Dental plan, sand beds, hot wind, fond sheep, smallpox for the children!
I should wait when you accept.
Death to most things,
'The Devil' Bin Laden
SPECIAL CATEGORY, October 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Virginia
Woolf's suicide note to her husband Leonard
TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Search for Osama Bin Laden Proves Difficult =
A darn problem - US forces fail to find his cave!
SPAM CATEGORY, November 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Question: Where do I get this New credit File from?
Answer: That's a secret and you will find out once you purchase
my kit. But what I can tell you is that my secret method is 100%
legal, 100% ethical, and best of all 100% GUARANTEED!
Question: How many people have have used your method and have
had success?
Answer: I have sent out over 3600 orders so far and have not had
anyone return this information because they were unable to open
a new credit file using my secret method.
Question: Are there any other fees involved after I purchase
your kit?
Answer: Your out of pocket expense will be around $20.00 more
to get your new credit file which is a processing charge and that
is it. And this is a one time fee.
Question: How long does it take for me to receive my information?
Answer: You will receive your information by U.S. Mail within
7 business days after you receive your order. We strive to mail
out all orders within 3 days, but sometimes, we get backlogged
with orders. We guarantee that you'll receive your order within
7 business days though!
=
Question: Why the fuck do these idiots try to convince me to
buy their turds when I obviously won't?
Answer: Curiously enough, they wouldn't care if you will never
send them money. They have enough resources to take care of their
future; Too bad - now they are purely concerned with the mutilation
of the web.
Question: Should I ignore them?
Answer: Why, you shouldn't! In fact, anagrams of these pathetic
letters are barrels of fun!
Question: Is it true the male spammers have microscopic genitals?
Answer: It is, my dear, you're very clever! Their sorry woodies
are of wee measurements - some are even without any signs of sexual
organs! To review a recent study, a web-idiot's dick length will
be roughly 0.0001207% of the average piece.
Question: I've decided to slay one. Could you guide me, please?
Answer: Sure! First, try and find their hideout, usually a basement
or a video arcade. Once captivated, behead them with a sword.
For anyone residing abroad I think a hitman is in order. I know
of at least two in Australia, so please ring me at 1-700-6003-0301.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, November 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Seven Eleven Incorporated =
Open it and never ever close!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Everlast:
What It's Like
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, December 2001:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Blue Period of Picasso =
Oh, pictures of pale bodies.
SPAM CATEGORY, December 2001:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Mother of a 15 year old boy was cleaning and putting laundry
away when she came across a large brown paper bag that was suspiciously
buried beneath some clothes and a skateboard in the back of her
15-year-old son's closet. Nothing could have prepared her for
the shock she got when she opened the bag and found it was full
of cash; five dollar bills, twenties, fifties and hundreds - all
neatly rubber-banded in labeled piles.
"My first thought was that he had robbed a bank," says the 41-year-old woman, "There was over $71,000 dollars in that bag\'85.. that's more than my husband earns in a year." The woman immediately called her husband at the car dealership where he worked to tell him what she'd discovered. He came home right away and they drove together to the boy's school and picked him up. Little did they suspect that where the money came from was more shocking than actually finding it in the closet.
As it turns out, the boy had been sending out via E-mail on the Internet a type of 'chain-letter' to E-mail addresses that he got off of the Internet. Everyday after school for the past 2 months, he had been doing this right on his computer in his bedroom.
=
Two days later the parents recovered another bag labelled "Hot Chicks Get Hosed By Old Guys", with cheap photos and bootleg tapes. "Ah, Bobby's an adult!" his mother grinned, while his father reacted, "That's true, he's mature now. We all have fantasies, like, oh, deep anal fun with Thatcher."
The caring parents still defended him when he hacked into the phone company's mainframe and then into four city banks. "Well, calling him 'charlatan' or 'corruptive' is a bit harsh," the boy's mother remarked, "Nobody's perfect. He's no Unabomber... yet." "Oh, he's obviously grown up," his dad deduced, "Learning a vocation is a significant thing. He promised us he'd get off his butt and 'make money' and he sure did, down in his basement. Those notes were perfect, utterly identical to five and twenty dollar bills! What a craftsman."
After the boy ran an illegal pyramid scheme, a sour mob stormed the house. "Oh, what a lovely boy!" the mother was heard yelling in the riot as the angry mob smashed the front door, "Hundreds of fans line up to see him! What a great lad!!!" "Hey, at least he has a good taste," added the boy's dad as they were about to be lynched, "After all, those chicks *were* hot!"
SPECIAL CATEGORY, December 2001:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
John
Keats: Ode on Melancholy
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