Anagrammy Placings by David Bourke in 2002
All the highly-placed anagrams by David Bourke from the 2002 Anagrammy Awards.
LONG CATEGORY, January 2002:
2nd - David Bourke with:
CLONING FEAR AS ARTHRITIS AFFECTS DOLLY
Dolly the cloned sheep has developed arthritis, amid fears that the cloning process is responsible for the early onset of the disease. Professor Ian Wilmut - who helped pioneer Dolly's birth - has said the process may have caused genetic defects. He has called for research to establish the impact of cloning on animal welfare. Cloning techniques may have to be refined to reduce the risk of genetic defects, he says.
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Famed big-chested Country 'n' Western singer Dolly Parton has developed arthritis. Professor Kenny Rogers - who is, I feel, chiefly to blame for her celebrated musical successes - has said he hopes, in effect, to scientifically create a clone of the artist. This may raise a sense of the quite alarming prospect of these two obese, old-as-the-hills, high-heeled, top-heavy, deaf old trollops, hand-in-hand, face-to-face, screeching "D.I.V.O.R.C.E" and "Islands In The Stream". Help!!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, February 2002:
eq.2nd - David Bourke with:
Princess Margaret is dead =
It's sad. (Grim reaper dances!)
LONG CATEGORY, February 2002:
3rd - David Bourke with:
In 1902 Frederick Opper created a comic about two Frenchmen who
couldn't get through a door without a frenzy of politeness:
'After you, my dear Alphonse.' 'No, after you, my dear Gaston.' They pretty much vanished after 1910 but the phrase 'Alphonse and Gaston' is still in the larger dictionaries as a term for two people showing extreme politeness to each other, like two baseball outfielders each deferring to the other and letting the ball fall between them.
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Check out this true-life story:
Seems in about 1901/1902 two wordy naff old twits, Zoran and David, couldn't agree about who exactly should get the 'Nom' for:
Napoleon Bonaparte = "No, not appear on Elba." / "To appear on Elba, non?"
The latter gem, it was agreed, represented a slight style-shift, yet it seems the Chief 'Nom' Referee, Doctor Laurence Brash, chose instead to killfile the friggin' pair of them, thus awarding the trophy free to Mr. Michael Tully. ("Er, who he, the creep?")
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, February 2002:
eq.3rd - David Bourke with:
Napoleon Bonaparte =
To appear on Elba, non?
LONG CATEGORY, April 2002:
1st - David Bourke with:
Microsoft ScanDisk
Because Windows was not properly shut down, one or more of your disk drives may have errors on it.
To avoid seeing this message again, always shut down your computer by selecting Shut Down from the Start menu.
ScanDisk is now checking drive C for errors:
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Dear Mr Gates,
Thanks for being such a patronising twat. Seems the overlooked true reason ScanDisk's always used is your firm's 'Microsoft Windows' crashing, not viruses or that I don't even know how to close down my PC, you very-rich, moronic four-eyed scum pissbag weirdo nerd!
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