Anagrammy Placings by Meyran Kraus in 2005
All the highly-placed anagrams by Meyran Kraus from the 2005 Anagrammy Awards.
GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2005:
eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Coins kept ~
in pockets.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, January 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
CEO William Henry Gates the Third =
He cried: "Wealth, that's my religion!"
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, January 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Leaning Tower of Pisa =
I spot one giant flaw here...
RUDE CATEGORY, January 2005:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Stained motel sheets =
See that it's old semen.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, February 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Charles to wed Camilla Parker Bowles on April Eighth =
Pale old Brit will plan marriage? So, who the heck CARES?!
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, February 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Hoffa, the Teamster Union leader =
I hear the man's a LOT of feet under.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, February 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Oscar nominees for Best Motion Picture: 'Sideways', 'Million Dollar Baby', 'Finding Neverland', 'The Aviator', 'Ray' =
Meet a sad vino-lover, an ambitious fighter, a children's writer, a simply intense flyboy - and a blind crooner, too!
LONG CATEGORY, February 2005:
eq.3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Do They Know It's Christmas Time 2004
RUDE CATEGORY, February 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The art of seduction =
Need that for coitus.
GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A trained sushi chef =
He's a tuna-fish dicer!
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, March 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
'Travel Guide To London' =
I'd love to tour England!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, March 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Chicago millionaire adventurer Steve Fossett =
See, this noted flier loves to circumnavigate Earth!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, March 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Eastern Africa =
A safari center.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, March 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Star Wars: Episodes I (The Phantom Menace), II (Attack of the Clones) and III (Revenge of the Sith) =
It irks me how these digital movie adaptations erase the past innocence of the franchise!
LONG CATEGORY, March 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
[A news story clip from the DeHavilland website]
The Queen will miss the civil wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles on April 8th, Buckingham Palace has confirmed.
As the prince and Mrs Parker Bowles wished to keep the occasion a "low-key" affair, the Queen would honour their plans and stay away, the palace said.
But the sovereign intends to join the congregation at a church blessing service led by the Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams in St George's Chapel at Windsor Castle, following the civil wedding, the spokesman added.
=
Top Ten Reasons The Queen Is Ditching Charles and Camilla's Wedding:
10. Her corgis will have to be spayed for it.
9. She doesn't want to be the Belle of the Ball.
8. She saw Camilla's frock.
7. She saw Charles' frock.
6. Gift-wrapping a bag of dry Kibble can be trickier than it appears.
5. She planned a craved tryst with a suicide machine.
4. She planned to drunkenly mount a sad old equine of her own.
3. Interviewing dirty hunchbacks to man Camilla's position in Notre Dame will have her occupied.
2. Swallowing the Crown Jewels will have her occupied.
1. She's opposed to gay marriage.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, March 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A sonnet by Keats, anagrammed into three poems
each in the style of different poet
RUDE CATEGORY, March 2005:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Have safe intercourse =
I cover these fun areas.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, April 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Star Clint Eastwood ~
also wants to direct.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, April 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Despite hope, ~
the Pope dies.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, April 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
London's Westminster Abbey =
One wanders by silent tombs.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, April 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The movie 'Raiders of the Lost Ark', directed by Steven Spielberg =
It's a biblical trove from God they seek, preserved in the desert.
LONG CATEGORY, April 2005:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Childhood by Michael Jackson
SPECIAL CATEGORY, April 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
An excerpt from The Parson's Tale
RUDE CATEGORY, April 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A pair of crotchless panties =
Has rip for potential access.
GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The legal profession =
One gets help of liars.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, May 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Beatles' Yellow Submarine =
Album's entirely below sea!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, May 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Saddam pictures in 'The Sun' =
Captured this man's undies.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, May 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The indicted singer Michael Jackson =
"Get in, scared child! Join me in the sack!"
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, May 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Parisian street =
A painter sits there.
LONG CATEGORY, May 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep
SPECIAL CATEGORY, May 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Christina Rossetti: A Birthday
RUDE CATEGORY, May 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The nude resorts =
There to undress!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, June 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes =
OK, is the romance simulated?
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, June 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The US astronaut Neil Alden Armstrong =
Let's send this great man on a lunar tour!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, June 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
In regard to his social security plan, Bush's stated that he 'remains undeterred'. =
He then burst into a manic laughter and told his press secretary: "See, I said TURD."
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, June 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Bonnie Parker & Clyde Barrow =
Known pair declare: "Robbery!"
LONG CATEGORY, June 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Top 20 picks of AFI's jury members for the most popular and lingering key quotes in motion picture history:
20. "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." (Casablanca)
19. "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" (Network)
18. "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!" (White Heat)
17. "Rosebud." (Citizen Kane)
16. "They call me Mister Tibbs!" (In the Heat of the Night)
15. "E.T. phone home." (E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial)
14. "The stuff that dreams are made of." (The Maltese Falcon)
13. "Love means never having to say you're sorry." (Love Story)
12. "I love the smell of napalm in the morning." (Apocalypse Now)
11. "What we've got here is failure to communicate." (Cool Hand Luke)
10. "You talking to me?" (Taxi Driver)
9. "Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night." (All About Eve)
8. "May the Force be with you." (Star Wars)
7. "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up." (Sunset Boulevard)
6. "Go ahead, make my day." (Sudden Impact)
5. "Here's looking at you, kid." (Casablanca)
4. "Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore." (The Wizard of Oz)
3. "You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am." (On the Waterfront)
2. "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." (The Godfather)
1. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." (Gone with the Wind)
=
Oh, a neat list of lines - but to even things out, I want to nominate 20 entries for the most *heinous* film extract ever:
20. "Did NASA find oil on Uranus, man?" (Armageddon)
19. "This is why Superman works alone." (Batman & Robin)
18. "The rat is the cleanest one." (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II)
17. "You ooze, you lose." (Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie)
16. "No one laughs at a master of Quack Fu!" (Howard The Duck)
15. "I came here to study the great American art of muff diving." (Van Wilder)
14. "Move the feet to the left, you're in my shot." (the Paris Hilton video)
13. "Die, stuffed ball of fluff!" (Death to Smoochy)
12. "I had no idea you could blow like that." (Glitter)
11. [Many men and women vomit at a funeral] (Mafia!)
10. "Grab my belly and make a wish." (Kazaam)
9. "Huh?" (Dude, Where's My Car?)
8. "I always wanted to cornhole me a blind chick." (The Toxic Avenger)
7. "Haven't you ever heard of the word "compromisation"?" (Spice World)
6. "They make my penis sneeze." (Gigli)
5. "It's turkey time! Gobble Gobble!" (Gigli)
4. "Technically, sir, tomatoes are fags." (The Attack of The Killer Tomatoes)
3. "I'm the king of the world!" (Titanic)
2. "I am going to make you as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of kerbango." (Battlefield Earth)
1. "One thing's sure - Inspector Clay is dead. Murdered. And somebody's responsible." (Plan Nine from Outer Space)
SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2005:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
John Keats: To My Brother George
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, July 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The private detective Sherlock Holmes =
I hope the clever dick solves the matter!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, July 2005:
eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
President's Bathrooms at the White House =
So Bush has the time to read his new Potter.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, July 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Three Stages of Truth:
First, it is ridiculed;
Next, it is violently attacked;
Finally, it is held to be self-evident.
=
Five Hints Devised by Liars:
1. Relax the odd tic;
2. Stifle latent titters;
3. Hone the lie;
4. Stick to it dutifully;
5. Feign tears.
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, July 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz =
My kind zap Fox TV, squelch GWB Jr.!
GENERAL CATEGORY, August 2005:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The medical profession =
Help to confirm disease.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, August 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world." =
And if a man tries to rationalize force to conduct wars, it shows us he is George Bush.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, August 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
On an Infant Dying as Soon as Born by Charles Lamb
GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2005:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Signboard =
Boring ads.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, September 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Mister Hyde =
Yes, I'm the Dr.!
LONG CATEGORY, September 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
House of the Rising Sun (traditional version)
SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Two anagrams of a sonnet by Wilde
RUDE CATEGORY, September 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The act of masturbation
Ain't that a burst of come?
TOPICAL CATEGORY, October 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The trial of president Saddam Hussein =
It sure is hard to defend this man's plea.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, October 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
G.W. Bush, the American president =
The man's screwing it up bad here!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, October 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
'Beyond Multiple Choice: Evaluating Alternatives to Traditional Testing for Selection' by Milton D. Hakel =
This guide is likely to be:
[ ] A little pedantic
[ ] Darn unconvincing
[ ] A totally tiresome torment
[*] All of the above.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, October 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The complete list of Shakespeare's plays anagrammed into a sonnet.
RUDE CATEGORY, October 2005:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
A lesbian relationship =
So, I hear it'll ban a penis!
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Mike Newell's 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' =
Enthralling film, yet we prefer to read the books!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2005:
eq.3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Macy's Parade Disaster: Balloon Falls, Hits Two =
"Well", passers-by admit, "the scandal's a lot of hot air".
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, November 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The US comedian Seinfeld =
He's often induced a smile.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, November 2005:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
"On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life" =
No race'll be superior if not strong, clever or even fast enough? He is lying! I offer the United States of America as proof.
GENERAL CATEGORY, December 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Abusive relationships =
Pain? Bruises? I have lots.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, December 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Mona Lisa drawing =
A damsel with a grin on.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, December 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sir Elton's big day =
Not by a girl's side...
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, December 2005:
eq.3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Blessed Virgin Mary =
Delivers by this manger.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, December 2005:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Hitler's dictatorship =
A Third Reich's its plot.
LONG CATEGORY, December 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
[Bush Teleconference With Soldiers Staged 10/13/05
WASHINGTON - It was billed as a conversation with U.S. troops, but the questions President Bush asked on a teleconference call Thursday were choreographed to match his goals for the war in Iraq and Saturday's vote on a new Iraqi constitution. "This is an important time," Allison Barber, deputy assistant defense secretary, said, coaching the soldiers before Bush arrived. "The president is looking forward to having just a conversation with you."]
Here's a small segment from the beginning of the program:
The President: Captain Kennedy?
Captain Kennedy: Yes, Mr. President.
The President: Well, it's good to see you. Thanks. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to allow me to visit with you a little bit. I've got some questions for you here in a minute, but I do want to share some thoughts with you. First, I want to thank the members of the 42nd Infantry Division and Task Force Liberty for serving our country with such distinction and honor. I want you to know that the mission you are on is vital to achieving peace and to protecting America. One of my most solemn duties, a duty that you have joined me on, is to protect the American people.
=
The rehearsal
Ms. Barber: Nice to see you, gentlemen. Prior to your discussion with the president, I want to instruct you succinctly
so the conversation won't flop; however, if anyone inquires in regard to the instructions, you'd have to pretend you've
never heard any of them.
G.W.: (chuckles) Funny color, that khaki. It sounds like a dirty joke.
Ms. Barber (sighs): And that, too. Do you have any questions so far?
G.W.: Would we also be airing the rehearsal, auntie?
Ms. Barber: Actually, I meant the troops, Mr. President.
Captain Smith: I've got one. Is it alright to mention last night's mission?
Ms. Barber: Not if it's too gory. Unless it's positive gore. I understand that one of you shined yesterday.
Captain Kennedy: That was me. I had to shoot a few Iraqis that came to the camp with a couple of odd-looking fruits.
And I'd do it again, too. I'd stop at nothing for the just cause of the US of A, ma'am.
Ms. Barber: Wonderful conviction. If it's alright with everyone, I'd like Captain Kennedy to be the spokesman. Now,
let's have a little test. Sir?
G.W.: (squints) Damn these tiny cue-cards. Where's that prompter?
Ms. Barber: I need an hour to set it up-
G.W.: Neato. Off you go, soldierinos. (switches the channel on the video screen) It's Nintendo time.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, December 2005:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The 1st verse of Jabberwocky
RUDE CATEGORY, December 2005:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The calendar model =
A doll had men erect.
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