Anagrammy Placings by Andrew Brehaut in 2006
All the highly-placed anagrams by Andrew Brehaut from the 2006 Anagrammy Awards.
GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
A watched pot never boils =
Observe the cold pan....wait!
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, June 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
The World Cup Finals in Germany=
Germans would play French in it.
GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Metamorphosis =
Promises a moth.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, July 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
The immortal shower scene in Psycho =
She's in the motel, chap comes in. Worry!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, July 2006:
eq3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
German Measles ‡
A nameless germ
RUDE CATEGORY, July 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
This penis enlarger ~
ripens her genitals.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, August 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Don Vito Corleone =
Donor to violence.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, August 2006:
Eq2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Undisputed Top Eleven Reasons Not to Fire Donald Rumsfeld.
11. The ongoing and eccentric fear of absolute retribution.
10. His epic written memoirs say he was the only collaborator of the captain's orders.
9. He knows where the all bodies are rumoured to have been buried and what specific parts have been removed to keep Dick Cheney alive.
8. That the administration's investigation of Abu Ghraib only justified fault with the "Office of The Secretary of Defense," so it's really got to be the damn building's fault.
7. Donald Rumsfeld is one of the few people with a portfolio in the entire administration with actual military service (albeit non-combat) and he is needed for credibility.
6. As George Dubya always says: You can't blame the good guy in the big leather seat for the bad behaviour of his bloody subordinates.
5. He's the best hitter on the George's Dubya's administrations' softball team.
4. He only approved the uses of erotic torture that he wants applied to his very own body and mind.
3. The staff need to keep Donald Rumsfeld around to take the hard rap for some really bad stuff that is to be revealed.
2. Hasn't he suffered enough already?
1. If anyone in the administration loses his job, those damn Jihadi Muslim terrorists would have won the war.
=
The Undisputed Top Eleven Other Pathetic Things Dubya Bush Did While Hosting a Special Screening of the Film "United Ninety-Three."
11. Tried hard to fully remember what he was doing when they heard the very abominable news of all the plane hijacks.
10. Telephoned everyone to foolproof the administration's fictitious and old official story.
9. Boosted up his deteriotarive poll numbers through promotional bribery.
8. Stayed out of the esteemed and old Mr Cheney's way.
7. Thought about if JuJu Fruits are essentially made by anti-semitic voodoo businesses.
6. Waited for the agreeable movie star Harrison Ford to save the day.
5. Persevered with trying out different moves onto an undefended and tense rookie, Condi Rice.
4. Intermittently blubbered a babyish and obsolete warning like "O! Look out!" at the screen.
3. Resolved irrefutably that his flight-suit is less pleasurable after a couple of hours in a theatre than it was after a few minutes flight across San Diego Harbor.
2. Wondered what the hell had happened to that damn ambassador Osama Bin Laden.
1. Edited storyboard in his notebook for a beaut movie idea called, "Stay Out of Harm's Way." that defended his specific Nine-Eleven flights from Sarasota to Offutt Air Force Base to Washington, D.C.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, September 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Tamil Tigers of Sri Lanka =
Killing for a state has merit?
LONG CATEGORY, September 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Hippocratic Oath
I swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panaceia and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfil according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant.
=
Anagrammic Oath
I swear by Brash, David and all sad enough to join this media page that I will comply to the canons of the digital site and I pledge that my sayings will typify shoddiness, contain chuckles, and cause panic and pain.
GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned =
Her hormones can kill any who default!
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, October 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Captain James T Kirk of the Starship Enterprise =
The finest skipper in Star Trek, a major space hit.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, October 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The President of the United States of America =
Incompetent, hated head of state terrifies us.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, October 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
A ham sandwich goes into a bar and the bartender declares "We don't serve any food here." =
A horse wandered into a bar. Soon the bartender came, served and said "Why the long face?"
SPECIAL CATEGORY, October 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Genesis
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Pirates of the Caribbean Two: Dead Man's Chest =
Sparrow's team does find cabinet at the beach.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2006:
2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
The US Congress now belongs to the Democrats =
So, Bush's wretched gang lost one more contest!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, November 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
One hundred icebergs are floating towards the mainland of New Zealand ~
and behold, we great Maoris found a new large frozen land in the distance.
LONG CATEGORY, November 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
His Holiness Pope John Paul died and, naturally, was delivered upstairs to heaven. He was greeted by Saint Peter and his reception committee and, after a whirlwind tour of the place, was told that he could enjoy any of the wealth of recreations available to him.
The Pope decided that he would like to examine all of the early versions of the Holy Scriptures. He spent the next thousand years focusing on learning each of the dead languages. After he had become a linguistics master, he sat down in the library and began to pore over every possible version of the Bible, working in reverse from the most recent "Dummies Guide" version to the original Jewish script.
All of a sudden, the Pope screamed out extremely loudly. The angels came running to him from throughout the area to discover the Pope huddled in the corner, crying and muttering to himself, "The letter 'R'! Those damn fools left out the 'R'”.
God took him aside and asked him what his problem was. After collecting his thoughts, the Pope sniffled again, "It's the letter 'R'... the damn word was supposed to be CELEBRATE."
=
The Pope had just commenced a tour of Washington and was taking a new limousine from the airport. As he'd never been allowed to drive an extravagant limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive. The chauffeur pulled over, climbed into the back seat, and the Pope grabbed the steering wheel. He started merging onto the state highway and accelerated to see just how fast the limo could go.
Suddenly, he noticed the flashing blue lights of a police car in his rear mirror and sullenly pulled over. The trooper strolled up to the limo, stared into the tinted window, then said, "Just a moment, sir, it is necessary to call you into my boss."
The trooper called in and stressed to the chief that he had a very important person pulled over for going way too fast.
"Is it a governor?" asked his boss.
"No! More important," he explained.
"George Bush?" prompted the stressed sheriff.
"No! Tons more important!" he answered eagerly.
"Well, who the hell is it exactly?" needled the angry chief.
"I have no idea who it is," he finally replied "but he must be important, he's got His Eminence, the Pope as a chauffeur."
SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
A Recipe for Eggs Benedict
INGREDIENTS
4 egg yolks
3.5 tablespoons lemon juice
A pinch ground white pepper
0.125 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon of water
1 cup butter, melted
1.25 teaspoon salt
8 white eggs
1 tspn distilled white vinegar
8 strips of Canadian-style bacon
4 English muffins, split
2 tablespoons of softened butter
METHOD
To Make Hollandaise Sauce:
1. Fill the bottom of a double boiler part-way with water. Make sure that the water does not touch the top pan.
2. Bring water to a gentle simmer.
3. In the top of a double boiler, whisk together all egg yolks, lemon juice, white pepper, Worcestershire sauce, and one tablespoon water.
4. Add in the melted butter to an egg yolk mixture 1 or 2 tablespoons at a time while whisking yolks constantly. If hollandaise begins to get too thick, then add on a teaspoon or two of hot water.
5. Continue whisking until all of the butter is incorporated in the mix.
6. Whisk in the salt, then remove from heat.
7. Place a lid on pan to keep sauce warm.
8. Preheat oven on broiler setting.
To Poach Eggs:
8. Fill a large saucepan with 3 inches of water.
9. Bring water to a gentle simmer, then add vinegar.
10. Carefully break eggs into simmering water, and allow to cook for 2 1/2 to 3 minutes. Yolks should still be soft in center.
11. Remove eggs from water with a slotted spoon and set on a warm plate .
12. While eggs are poaching, brown the bacon in a medium skillet over medium-high heat and toast the English muffins on a baking sheet under the broiler.
13. Spread toasted muffins with a line of softened melted butter, and top each one with a slice of bacon, followed by one poached egg.
14. Place 2 muffins on each plate and drizzle with hollandaise sauce.
15. Sprinkle with chopped chives and serve immediately.
=
Recipe for Disaster from Andrew Brehaut's Cookbook
INGREDIENTS
1 US President
1 Pathetic British Hobgoblin
1 Little Australian Whippet
1 Saudi Child
2 Towers
4 United Airlines Planes
1 Fundamental Political Group
1 War Torn Nation
1 Oil Rich Nation
123 458 US Personnel
60 111 580 Unsuspecting Civilians
METHOD
To make super power:
1. Make two towers promoting values of hedonism to the world.
2. Elect to the Whitehouse a hotheaded madman whose famed feeble cowboy dad was pathetic.
3. Make sure he has a southern drawl and intelligence way less than a sock.
4. Add huge shot of 'short man syndrome".
To make Islamic Fundamentalist:
5. Raise newborn Saudi child.
6. Reject from rich family.
7. Transfer child to war torn nation.
8. Teach radical ideologies of the Koran on the way.
9. Allow teenage fellow to grow into western hating Muslim.
Creating the Conflict:
10. Get grown fundamentalist to coach young pledgees to be extreme Anglophobes.
11. Emigrate these foreign pledgees to Boston.
12. Let excitable pledgees integrate into US society.
13. Get pledgees to flight lessons.
14. Somehow get on and hijack United Airline flights.
15. Blow up awesome landmarks with the planes.
Starting the apocalypse:
16. Write emotive keynote speech with thoughts of revenge for the president.
17. Piggyback bedfellows (hobgoblin and whippet) to battle.
18. Release 123 458 "peacekeeping" troops to seize outmatched nation that happens to have bankrupt Muslim government.
19. Bomb thousands of weak gentle people.
20. Engineer transfer of awful blooDavid Bourkeath to overpopulated oil rich country.
21. Repeat bombing of thousands of weak gentle people.
22. Keep fighting non-winnable battle.
It is foreseeable that this battle will break Vietnam's record as the craziest war of all time.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, December 2006:
eq2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Farts forced the American Airlines plane to land =
Match lit after inferno in arse scared planeload.
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, December 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!
=
Away in a manger,
Not a crib as a bed,
The very young lord Hesus
Truly turned his head.
The pets - they try moving,
The minor awakes.
Yet, delighted lord Hesus
No gurgling he makes.
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