Anagrammy Placings by Meyran Kraus in 2006
All the highly-placed anagrams by Meyran Kraus from the 2006 Anagrammy Awards.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, January 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Ang Lee's film 'Brokeback Mountain' ~
about menial farm blokes necking.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, January 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Oscar nominations unveiled =
Movies' list announced on-air.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, January 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Israeli PM Ariel Sharon =
He's in mortal peril, as I hear.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, January 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
"Do tell me", I asked president George W. Bush, "What's your honest opinion of Roe v. Wade?" =
"Sorry, kid", he answered, bemused, "I don't give a shit how people got out of New Orleans!"
LONG CATEGORY, January 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A Little Fun With Math
1. Pick any number from 1 to 7.
2. Double your number and add 5.
3. Multiply this new total by 50.
4. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1756. If not, add 1755.
5. Subtract the four-digit year in which you were born.
6. Only a three-digit number remains. The first digit of this number was the one you picked. The last two digits are your age.
=
The Freudian Magic Trick
1. Be totally at ease.
2. Drift within your mind's depths as you leave your body behind.
3. Try to waft by a bad memory - that darn awful time in which you were hurt, subdued or humiliated.
4. Let this day's wrath float up again.
5. Find the person you blame for this terribly degrading incident...
6. You're thinking about your mother.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, January 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Oscar Wilde sonnet, "E Tenebris"
GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2006:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
A plate of spaghettini =
Get a pile of thin pasta.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, February 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Steve Martin plays Inspector Clouseau =
Vacuous man's copy? Peter Sellers it ain't!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, February 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Danish newspaper cartoon angers the Muslims =
Seems a plain pen is much stronger than a sword...
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, February 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie =
Trade a Jen to nail Big Lip.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, February 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
vice (noun):
1. Moral depravity or corruption
2. A moral fault or failing
3. A habitual and usually trivial defect or shortcoming.
=
vice president:
1. A common fill-in
2. Valued authority or motivator for a crucial hour
3. An arrogant old US bully firing at a pal.
LONG CATEGORY, February 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
MacArthur Park (Lyrics and music by Jimmy Webb)
SPECIAL CATEGORY, February 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Below is an anagram of this very text, in which renowned men (thirteen overall) are arranged in a rather particular order, as each man's name is entirely comprised of the rear of the name preceding it and the start of the name succeeding it. Our circular chain is currently shown under some hints (the men's short descriptions, number of letters) and a small spoiler space, granting all big brains an opportunity to decipher this riddle - although any person may simply scroll down for the answer.
Enjoy!
=
1. Christian saint (6)
2. French mathematician (8)
3. US thespian ('The Odd Couple') (7)
4. US thespian and film director ('Another Woman') (5)
5. German fantasy writer ('The Neverending Story') (4)
6. US film director ('Cleopatra') (7)
7. US playwright and essayist ('Death of a Salesman') (6)
8. Jewish-Austrian psychologist (5)
9. German conductor (8)
10. English writer and essayist ('Fever Pitch') (6)
11. English poet ('Prometheus') (5)
12. US\Norwegian Antarctic explorer (5)
13. Roman emperor (4)
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
1. Robert 2. Bertrand 3. Randall 4. Allen 5. Ende 6. DeMille 7. Miller
8. Reich 9. Eichhorn 10. Hornby 11. Byron 12. Ronne 13. Nero.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, February 2006:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
O Solitude!
GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2006:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
A cure for bald males =
A dream for cue-balls.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, March 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
'On the Origin of Species' by author Charles Darwin =
Big theory which infers our ancestor is an old ape.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, March 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Media report on avian flu cases =
Paranoid tales of virus menace.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, March 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The former president Slobodan Milosevic =
Don't sob over him, after prison-cell demise.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, March 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Microsoft Help and Support Website =
Stupid patch! Problem is often worse!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, March 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. (Arnold Toynbee) =
I remain most livid over a greatly incorrect adage, as it is *I* who grovel and lick my Yankee master's loafer! (Tony Blair)
LONG CATEGORY, March 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Let's quickly survey all of the 78th Academy Awards winners:
Best Motion Picture "Crash"
Best Director: Ang Lee
Best Lead Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Best Supporting Actor: George Clooney
Best Lead Actress: Reese Witherspoon
Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz
Best Original Screenplay: "Crash"
Best Adapted Screenplay: "Brokeback Mountain"
Best Editing: "Crash"
Best Cinematography: "Memoirs of a Geisha"
Best Art Direction: "Memoirs of a Geisha" [John Myhre and Gretchen Rau]
Best Costume Design: "Memoirs of a Geisha" [Colleen Atwood]
Best Makeup: "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe"
Best Sound Editing: "King Kong"
Best Sound Mixing: "King Kong"
Best Visual Effects: "King Kong"
Best Original Score: "Brokeback Mountain" [Gustavo Santaolalla]
Best Original Song: "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" [Jordan Houston, Cedric Coleman and Paul Beauregard]
Best Foreign Language Film: "Tsotsi"
Best Documentary: "March of the Penguins"
Best Short Documentary: "A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age of Norman Corwin"
Best Animated Film: "Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit"
Best Animated Short Film: "The Moon and the Son: An Imagined Conversation"
Best Live Action Short Film: "Six Shooter"
=
But never mind these... Time to see who the new Golden Raspberry winners are:
Worst Picture: A random strand of gross-out scenes titled "Dirty Love"
Most Unbearable Actor: That ignoble Rob Schneider constantly mugging for the camera in "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo"
Most Unbearable Actress: A boob-enhanced Jenny McCarthy assuming Skank Mode in "Dirty Love"
Sorriest Supporting Actor: Hayden Christensen's stiff face attempting to emote in George Lucas's "Star Wars Episode III"
Tackiest Supporting Actress: Famous-but-talentless heiress Paris Hilton being slaughtered and somehow sucking at it in "House of Wax"
Most Boring Screen Couple: The mind-boggling mismatch of Will Ferrell and Nicole Kidman in the feeble fiasco "Bewitched"
Most Abominable Remake\Sequel: The instant box-office bomb "Son of the Mask"
Most Amateurish Script: An unspeakable draft that Ms. McCarthy has penned for "Dirty Love"
Crappiest Director: The hack John Asher for his homage to gonorrhea, "Dirty Love"
Most Tiresome Tabloid Target (AKA Biggest Douchebag): Crazed scientologist and pest Tom Cruise, for going bananas on Oprah's couch, babbling incoherently about Katie Holmes and being a freak in general.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, March 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Poisoning Pigeons In The Park
RUDE CATEGORY, March 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The nudist community =
I must not hide my cunt!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, April 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The American president George Walker Bush =
Gee, the liar's rating numbers drop each week!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, April 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes name their baby Suri, supposedly the Jewish word for 'Princess' =
Maybe I should interject (as I speak Hebrew): I fear there's simply NO such word, stupid morons!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, April 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
In An Artist's Studio
RUDE CATEGORY, April 2006:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Dominants =
Into S-and-M.
GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sumo tournaments =
Enormous mutants!
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, May 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Screen icon Fred Astaire =
One's dances are terrific!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, May 2006:
eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A Gary Griffin book, 'Penis Enlargement Methods: Fact and Phallusy'=
One fraud by a hack tells the men to find a proper magnifying glass!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, May 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Peace Proposal
RUDE CATEGORY, May 2006:
eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Lack of inches =
An elfish cock.
GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Professional lion tamer =
One's in peril of a lost arm.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, June 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Leonardo da Vinci's "The Last Supper" =
Lord Savior and pupils at the scene.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, June 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Iranians' nuclear weapons =
I can see another war in US plan.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, June 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The former president Saddam Hussein =
Punish the arrested man for misdeeds.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, June 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Michael Gerson, top speech-writer to president Bush for years, is leaving the administration =
Having inspected that report, I am basically surprised! Someone *wrote* these inferior things?!
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, June 2006:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The World Cup Finals in Germany =
Nap? Screw? Only during halftime!
LONG CATEGORY, June 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A man lives on the 10th floor of his apartment building. Every single day he takes the elevator to go down to the ground floor and goes to work. When he returns, he takes the elevator to the 7th floor and walks the remainder of the trip up the stairs, but if it is a rainy day, he proceeds to ride it all the way up. He doesn't like walking, and there is definitely nothing wrong with his mind or the elevator. Can you conclude why he does it?
[ANSWER]
This man is a dwarf and simply can't reach his desired button. If it's raining he has an umbrella and uses it to reach his floor number.
=
Officers find a short man hanging in a large, entirely empty room that's locked from the inside, and there's a puddle of water under the poor person's feet. Naturally, they believe it's a murder, observing that since the noose is too high to reach and it's a rainy day, the puddle is where the assailant stood and this murderer had to retreat through the window. However, an astute rookie thinks this isn't a murder at all but really an inventive suicide. Why would he think that?
[ANSWER]
The poor fellow took his own life by hanging himself while standing on a block of ice.
The sketch (replayed here, now somehow set in the USA), which in its heyday starred the legendary actor Peter Sellers and Michael Bentine, has, I hope, remained one of the best gags ever.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Wilfred Owen's Anthem for Doomed Youth
RUDE CATEGORY, June 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A shirt's wet? =
Saw her tits!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, July 2006:
eq2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Three Israeli soldiers are captured =
There's a prelude to a real dire crisis...
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, July 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Leader of the British Labour Party =
Blair, the toady lap-terrier of Bush.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, July 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Vatican Observatory =
Vicar, note thy star above!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, July 2006:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
'One Thousand Places to See Before You Die', an American guidebook for travellers written by Patricia Schultz =
Hey, it includes treasures to tour abroad, like Big Ben, Louvre, Tower of Pisa, Florence Cityscape and the Amazon!
LONG CATEGORY, July 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The 'American Book Review' folks had honored the readers with a hundred hailed 1st lines in literature. Here's just a peek, then, at their top 10:
10. "I am an invisible man." (Invisible Man)
9. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair." (A Tale of Two Cities)
8. "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." (1984)
7. "riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs." (Finnegans Wake)
6. "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. (Anna Karenina)
5. "Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins." (Lolita)
4. "Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice. (One Hundred Years of Solitude)
3. "A screaming comes across the sky." (Gravity's Rainbow)
2. "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." (Pride and Prejudice)
1. "Call me Ishmael." (Moby Dick)
=
As I love to roam inconceivably vile fiction, I feel I am a bit guilty of being a vicious fan of illiteracy - so I offer you, if I may, a slice of it in my official list of 10 quite cataclysmic citations I obtained from a few (mostly trivial) books:
10. "All who knew Yas, knew Yas was freakin'." (Beyond The Known)
9. "She wanted to wrap her legs around him the way a tree wraps itself around a mountain." (Bodysmasher)
8. "Their jaws ground in feverish mutual mastication. Saliva and sweat. Sweat and saliva. There was a purposeful shedding of clothing." (The Stonebreakers)
7. "No! No! No! No! Oh, God in heaven! This cannot be!" (The Scarlet Pimpernel)
6. "Pin-stripes were erotic, the uniform of fathers, two-dimensional fathers. Even Mr. Hughes's penis had a seductive pin-striped foreskin." (Tread Softly)
5. "Her ears were filled with the sound of a soft but frantic gasping and it was some time before she identified it as her own." (Charlotte Gray)
4. "She made a noise somewhere between a beached seal and a police siren." (The Matter of the Heart)
3. "Shall I compare thee to a Sony Walkman? She is his own Toshiba, his dinky little JVC, his sweet Aiwa... Aiwa." (Kissing England)
2. "It was a dark and stormy night..." (Paul Clifford)
1. "She stuck to his prime grade-A tush like shrink-wrap to a rump roast." (Nobody Does It Better)
SPECIAL CATEGORY, July 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Holy Tango of Literature.
GENERAL CATEGORY, August 2006:
Eq2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A game of Russian Roulette =
A failure's sent to a morgue.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Martin Luther King's famous "I Have A Dream" =
A valued human-rights manifesto, I remark!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, August 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
War in South Lebanon =
A whole nation burns.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, August 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The actor Mel Gibson =
Bottle in car? Gosh, me?!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, August 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
'Lord of the Rings' Fan Club =
Boring chat full of nerds.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, August 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
'Five Steps To Spiritual Growth: A Journey', written by Peter M. Kalellis=
1. Buy paper;
2. Fill with junk;
3. Sell raves to twits;
4. Get money;
5. Retire to Paris.
LONG CATEGORY, August 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
GIBSON'S APOLOGY EMBRACED BY JEWISH GROUPS
Mel Gibson has been invited to meet with three prominent American Jewish groups, after his apology for making anti-Semitic remarks when he was arrested for drunk driving last week.
Gibson is alleged to have voiced his apparent hatred of Jews as he was being questioned by California police officer James Mee after he was caught speeding through Malibu, California, while drunk.
He has apologised publicly, asking the Jewish community to assist his "journey through recovery". The 1939 Club, New York's Museum of Jewish Heritage and a Beverly Hills rabbi have all reached out to Gibson to meet with them.
1939 Club president William Elperin says. "Our members are offering that help, by assisting Mr Gibson in understanding the extremes of anti-Semitism and what they and their families - many of whom were slaughtered by the Nazis - endured."
=
MEL GIBSON JUGGLES SEVERAL FILM PROJECTS
Mel won't abide his being stamped a bible-thumping weirdo. "Because of his sparring with the law and the Jewish community, he wishes to remain a big name in show business", his agent said, "which is why he's juggling many new film projects."
Here are some of them:
"Eva and I": The rather sad WWII tale of a weary couple shut in a Berlin bomb shelter.
"Diaries of the Clerks of Zino": Investigator James Huxley (played by Gibson) uncovers a hidden plot for world domination.
"The Merchant Massacre": A modern thriller, based on the play by William Shakespeare, about a grotesque murderer in present-day Venice.
"The Kyle Kane Knights": A guard group of vigilantes formed by Kyle Kane (Gibson) becomes a huge army fighting for pure-white freedom.
"Irving": The life of the respected British historian and his most courageous war with the Austrian justice system.
RUDE CATEGORY, August 2006:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The cheap motel =
Help me to cheat.
GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The criminal defense attorney =
Man hired to set any client free.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, September 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
C.S. Lewis' "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" =
We enter a world which is behind that closet.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
'Crocodile Hunter' Steve Irwin Killed By A Stingray =
Dying diver will utter his last, ocean-borne "Crikey!"
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, September 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Pope Benedict's anti-Islam remarks in that speech have angered the Muslim world =
The Vatican spokesman pledged: "I blame it on the speechwriter, Mr. Salman Rushdie!"
SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sonnet 104 anagrammed four times
RUDE CATEGORY, September 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Male sexual dysfunction =
One climaxes unduly fast!
GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Traditional wedding ceremonies =
Two declaring "I do" need a minister.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, October 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The 'Cappella Sistina' frescoes =
Sit speechless in a place of art.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, October 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A question to G.W. that he prefers to ignore: ~
When are these troops getting out of iraq?
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, October 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The American President George W. Bush =
We can agree he's not bright, I'd presume?
SPECIAL CATEGORY, October 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Oscar Wilde poem 'Les Silhouettes'
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, November 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A McDonald's Restaurant =
Damn lardass at counter!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, November 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan =
An abnormal foreign kook realizing the brutal, racist nature of some fanatic USA folk.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Christina Rossetti's 'Listening' anagrammed into 3 poems.
RUDE CATEGORY, November 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Penis enhancement surgeries =
See puniest men garner inches.
GENERAL CATEGORY, December 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The cigarette company =
I pay them to get cancer.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, December 2006:
eq3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Royal New Zealand Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals =
Yes, plenty of men loved a certain lot of creatures... in the horizontal way.
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, December 2006:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry merchants,
May ye make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high,
Tell us to go out and buy!
=
Hey, heed a Santa at the mall,
Spooking minors big and small.
He's a groggy, eerie brute;
That's gravy on the guy's red suit!
When to them he'd turn his eye,
Every kid would run and cry!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, December 2006:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
'Twas The Night Before Christmas
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