Anagrammy Placings by Meyran Kraus in 2010

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All the highly-placed anagrams by Meyran Kraus from the 2010 Anagrammy Awards.

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, January 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Director James Cameron =
Set major cinema record.

TOPICAL CATEGORY, January 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Haitian disaster =
I hear that aid is sent.

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, January 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Hosts Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien =
So, only one can earn this job.

LONG CATEGORY, January 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Dear Ethan,

I read your letter in bed and my heart throbbed so hard it hurt! I adore you too, honey, but finishing the relationship was a mistake... I knew you'll come around and see that we are soul mates, though!
I felt so lost without you, Ethan. The flat I rented seemed so empty and cold and life seemed so hellish, but now I can simply move back in with you - so I'm ditching this place! I'm so happy I held on to your key, and I'm excited that I'll see my cute little Mittens soon... Give her a kiss from me.

I love you, my dear Ethan; You are the reason I still exist... And I certainly have to thank my sister for talking some sense into you! :)

Eternally Yours,
Jane

You wrote:

>Jane,
>I was a fool to leave
>you... I can't sleep
>or even eat, because
>I think you're quite
>amazing! I ask you to
>forget all about the
>past week and a half
>when I broke it off,
>and take this stupid
>knucklehead into your
>bed again. Please do!
>Thank god your sister
>made me realize that
>I was a total cretin
>when we were dating.
>We chatted at length
>and I have to agree,
>I think I'm in love!
>Do come back to me...
>
>Yours,
>Ethan

=

Hey Jane,

Look, you didn't read my previous e-mail right, okay? Seems half of it got truncated somehow. An ad must've blocked it. Here is the one that I sent you originally:

>Jane,
>I was a fool to leave my house key with
>you... I can't sleep in some nice motel
>or even eat, because my wallet's in there.
>I think you're quite senile. It's truly
>amazing! I ask you to return it, and you
>forget all about the damn thing like the
>past week and a half didn't happen. You see,
>when I broke it off, I meant it! Oh yeah,
>and take this stupid cat or I'll cram this
>knucklehead into your mailbox; it soiled my
>bed again. Please do. It's Satan's spawn!
>Thank god your sister took me in and also
>made me realize that I should've dated her!
>I was a total cretin not to notice her hints
>when we were dating. I made up for it now...
>We chatted at length after a night of sex,
>and I have to agree, she's WAY more bendy.
>I think I'm in love! You sure you're related?
>Do come back to me... about the key, that is.
>
>Yours,
>Ethan

P.S. Didn't I tell you this once before? You should really switch to a more reasonable e-mail service.

Ethan

SPECIAL CATEGORY, January 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sonnet 64

GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
A field surgeon =
Dangerous life.

TOPICAL CATEGORY, February 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Tiger Holds Press Conference =
Confess, regret, consider help.

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, February 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Tiger
Polar Bear
Pacific Walrus
Magellanic Penguin
Leatherback Turtle
Bluefin Tuna
Mountain Gorilla
Monarch Butterfly
Javan Rhinoceros
Giant Panda

=
Harm Flock In Fatal Pattern

Unappreciative
pertrubations
manufactured
challenging
biological
imbalance
bungling
natural
jewels
rarer
than
you
or
I
.

SPECIAL CATEGORY, February 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Short verse outlining Mount Etna in Virgil's Aeneid, Book III

RUDE CATEGORY, February 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
"Dad, tell me how kids are born!" =
"Well, dear, dad boinks mother!"

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, March 2010:
Eq1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Michelangelo's art in the Sistine Chapel =
Masterpiece shall shine on that ceiling!

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, March 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Mary Shelley's Victor Frankenstein =
"I invent scary, freaky hell-monsters!"

SPECIAL CATEGORY, March 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Snake

RUDE CATEGORY, March 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Plug in arse =
Pleasuring!

GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Dreaming about death ~
due to a bad nightmare.

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, April 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Harry Potter series' final movies =
A hero inspires for the very last time.

TOPICAL CATEGORY, April 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Poland's president =
Plane's drop ends it.

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, April 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
"But Guy's heart slept under the violets on Muriel's grave." (from Edith Wharton's "April Showers")=

My Words

O, Sun - her glow,
A vital blush!
It moderates
The fervent rush;
Ergo, the lips
Return a sip.

SPECIAL CATEGORY, April 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Easter

RUDE CATEGORY, April 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The females cast in a porn video ~
often have silicone-made parts.

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, May 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The final episode of the serial drama "Lost" =
The desolate island is a metaphor for life.

TOPICAL CATEGORY, May 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The giant oil spill disaster =
Stop drilling! It ails the sea.

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, May 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
France's emperor Napoleon I =
A person of real prominence.

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, May 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Global company British Petroleum =
Scary pollution might be a problem!

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, May 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Corporal Clegg had a medal too
In orange, red and blue
He found it in the zoo

Corporal Clegg received his medal in a dream
From her Majesty the Queen
His boots were very clean
(Pink Floyd) =

GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Italian crime boss =
A Sicilian mobster.

TOPICAL CATEGORY, June 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The environmental disaster =
Oil in streams that never end.

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, June 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Sun-filled New York =
Wonderful skyline!

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, June 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Clear-eyed, we can understand that there will be war - and still strive for peace. (Obama, the US president)
=
We'd near a total Mideast peace pact when:

- Beavers learn to fly;
- Buddha's resurrected;
- It's winter in hell.

LONG CATEGORY, June 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
How Smart Are You?

1. You're participating in a race. You finally overtake the second person. What position are you in?

2. And if you just overtook the last person, then you are...?

3. Some very puzzling arithmetic! This must be calculated in your head only. Don't use a calculator or even paper and pencil for this.
Add 40 to 1000. Now add 1000. Add 30 more. Add 1000. Now add 20 more. Add another 1000. Add 10 more. What is the total?

4. Mary's father had five lovely daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono... What's the name of the fifth daughter?

5. A mute person goes into some shop to buy himself a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and manages to buy it.
Then a blind man comes into the shop and wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how would HE indicate what he wants?

Answers to the quiz:

1. If you answered that you're first, then you're absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU'RE in second place.

2. If you answered you're second to last, then you're WRONG again. How can you overtake the LAST person?!

3. Did you get 5000? It's not very accurate... The correct answer is actually 4100.

4. Did you Answer Nunu? No! Of course it's incorrect. Her name is Mary. Read this question again!

5. It's very simple, really: He opens his mouth and ask for it...

=

How Stupid Are You?

Choose an answer for each question, then add up the numbers to determine your stupidity level:

The capital of Greece is...

1. Dwindling.
2. Athens.
3. G.
4. "Saturday Night Fever" is a lot more fun.

What's the opposite of Apathy?

1. I don't care.
2. Interest.
3. Cherokee.
4. A-dead-end-y?

Who's known as the discoverer of America?

1. Neanderthals.
2. Christopher Columbus.
3. Americus Gazpacho.
4. Captain Crunch.

Who's buried in Grant's Tomb?

1. The man who invented this "joke", hopefully.
2. Ulysses S. Grant.
3. I need more information.
4. Which one of them?

Let's say I wed your cousin and I have a cousin too; then he is...

1. Not wanted on Thanksgiving.
2. My cousin-in-law's cousin.
3. A next of kin of sorts.
4. We can't both be married to my cousin!

Let's add up your points:

5-7: You possess a negative amount of stupidity. You're a constant smartass who has no energy to try this unneeded test. Go read Kafka or something.

8-12: You have zero stupidity and answered almost every question in the test correctly. Well done, you are duller than a fourth grade history teacher. You are the person that often tells everyone when 'whom' should be used.

13-19: You maintain a healthy amount of stupidity. You are a failure, fall down a lot and are a real hazard to yourself and to others. You are probably a pet psychic.

20: You are Sarah Palin.

SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Anne Bradstreet Poem, "The Author to her Book" (the first verses)

RUDE CATEGORY, June 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
A stimulated prick =
A lick made it spurt!

GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Really bad eyesight =
Barely see daylight!

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, July 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Kubler-Ross model, also known as the five stages of grief:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance.

=

Five stages of BP drilling:

1. Get bad rig
2. Wreck an ocean shore
3. Engineer half-assed solutions
4. Sack one man
5. Repeat.

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, July 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
though all her parts be not in th' usual place,
she hath yet an anagram of a good face. =
Dashing, though has not
A partner or a pal -
Hence, a beau comes to
The half-faulty gal.

SPECIAL CATEGORY, July 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Octopus's Garden

RUDE CATEGORY, July 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The sex-change operations =
"She" organ, except it's on a "he"!

GENERAL CATEGORY, August 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Define the world in a thesis? =
Life is short and then we die.

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Mona Lisa in the Louvre, Paris =
Oh, she's a true marvel in oil paint!

TOPICAL CATEGORY, August 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A collapsed mine =
One dismal place!

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, August 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
National Geographic Magazine =
Going to an amazing place, I hear!

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, August 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A highly ruthless remark of a lad to a lady in a very good film ('Gone With The Wind'): =
"Rhett! If you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?"
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, August 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"My fellow citizens: I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors."
President Barack Obama =
The Future of Barack

When I became the president, Bush sure left for me:

 Five Oil rigs fishy,
 Four Bankers crazy,
Three Auto brands costly
  Two Mideast battles bloody
  And A busted economy!

LONG CATEGORY, August 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
A few public flashes of wit we value, by some well-known people of a bygone era:

"A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes." (Mahatma Gandhi)

"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." (Martin Luther King Jr.)

"There are no facts, only interpretations." (Friedrich Nietzsche)

"Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest." (Mark Twain)

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." (Albert Einstein)

"France does not have friends, only interests." (General Charles de Gaulle)

"Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe." (H.G. Wells)

=

And, sadly, here is this bunch of citations from the so-called stars of current times:

"YOU'RE A PAIN IN MY ASS!" (Mel Gibson to a former girlfriend)

"Walmart? Do they, like, sell walls there?" (Heiress Paris Hilton)

"Well, let's see. There's... of course, in the great history of America, there have been rulings." (Sarah Palin, the candidate for Vice President, can't think of Supreme Court decisions on CBS News)

"When you have an enemy to fight, then you can unite the entire world behind you, and you seize power. That was Hitler's plan." (Glenn Beck on Al Gore's campaign against global warming)

"German? I don't know what that means. We don't say that in America." (The teen idol Justin Bieber)

SPECIAL CATEGORY, August 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sonnet 30

TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
We've something to tell the US president, Barack Obama =
We must leave the Mideast alone. Bring back the troops!

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, September 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The messaging website Twitter =
It's the biggest new time-waster!

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, September 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The two little misconceptions that some Americans may entertain about the tricky issue of a "Ground Zero Mosque"=
1. It's not the main Ground Zero site (it's a couple of blocks away);
2. That's not a mosque, either (it's a mere community center)!

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, September 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
ary had a itte ab
Its feece as hite as sno.
And everyhere that ary ent
The ab as sure to go.
It fooed her to schoo one day
hich as against the rue.
It ade the chidren augh and pay
To see a ab at schoo.

=

Oh Barbara, she has a tot
That she has often fed;
He cannot even tie a shoe -
A catatonic head.
The guy's a dope, I do agree,
Yet it is sad to hear
A hearty country he debased
In eight atrocious years.

SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Human Seasons

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, October 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Universal Studios' movie trilogy "Back to the Future" =
Various time-travel troubles of this cute young kid.

TOPICAL CATEGORY, October 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
A trapped Chilean miner's home at last? =
It means that real miracles do happen!

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, October 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The anticipated political memoir "Decision Points" by George Walker Bush, the former president of the United States=
Yes, we consider the matter epic, but I find it surprising to see he scrapped the original title of that book, "Elmo And Me".

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, October 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"The anagram is one of the greatest follies of the human spirit; one must be foolish to enjoy them and worse than foolish to create them." (Quote by G.J. Hecart)
=
Anagram foe,
Refine that decorum!
Some jests of snobs
May bother the Forum.
A lot of the jewels here
Got high quality -
Notice the notion
At this honest plea!

SPECIAL CATEGORY, October 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A small sample from a coven's spell verses found in the play "MacBeth"

RUDE CATEGORY, October 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Teen lad's first lay =
It ends really fast!

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Leonardo da Vinci's 'The Last Supper' =
Depict all persons and the Saviour.

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, November 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Adelie Penguin Colonies of Antarctica =
I plunge into cold sea in a nice feather coat.

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, November 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Lion! Lion! Burning bright
In dark woods of scary night,
What immortal foot or hand
Could approach you and still stand?
=
Palin! Palin! Human stain!
Odd crook of no class nor brain!
Can't our only God, with might,
Rid that sad world of your blight?

SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Thanksgiving Day

RUDE CATEGORY, November 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
TSA deploys new airport body scanners =
Randy cops now peer into lady's breasts!

GENERAL CATEGORY, December 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Premenstrual =
Lunar tempers.

TOPICAL CATEGORY, December 2010:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
US president Obama's two years in office =
Enormous spirit of "Yes We Can" fades a bit.

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, December 2010:
eq3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Department of Homeland Security =
I'd protect the US from an enemy lad.

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, December 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Male puberty entails:
- Hairiness issues
- First signs of acne
- Morning erections
- A changing voice
- Wishing they were old. =

Men's mid-life crisis contains:
- Loss of hair
- Weight gain
- Cheating on spouses
- Buying newer cars
- Reliving the teen years.

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, December 2010:
eq1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"Right before Christmas eve, Santa noticed he had lost his 'Naughty or Nice' list. Would you please make a new one for him?"
=
Now, folks are much too naughty here,
So I'll provide that sad decree:
One nice man won his gift this year,
But he, alas, is me!

SPECIAL CATEGORY, December 2010:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
'All Saints' by Christina G. Rossetti

RUDE CATEGORY, December 2010:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Horse's genitalia =
This is a large one!

Table of 2010 Placegetters

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