Anagrammy Placings by Adrian Hickford
All the highly-placed anagrams by Adrian Hickford from the Anagrammy Awards.
RUDE CATEGORY, April 2001:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Empty penis? =
Yep, I'm spent.
SPAM CATEGORY, April 2001:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Send me an email
I'll send you a list
Thank you
software1for10@hotmail.com
=
Dammit! Fuck yourself, arsehole.
110 million emails?
On to a nasty death, NOW!
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, April 2001:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Stevie Wonder =
Er, doesn't view.
ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY, April 2001:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Five classic authors of the horror genre whose take on life is downright macabre and slightly loopy: =
Clive Barker: he can frighten you with his low-grade hits: cool passages on fiery Hell-rooms. Daft or not?
Fearful Stephen King - beastly car Christine: the groovy motor follows a sad high-school weirdo, Arnie.
H.P. Lovecraft wreaked chaos within terrific, insane tales of yore: horrible ghouls and gloomy ghosts.
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley wrote Frankenstein: gothic, horrific, savage - oh, poor ghoulish baddies.
Bram Stoker, Irish creator of fiendish Dracula. He goes for the nape so evilly! Got last lynching - oh wow!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, June 2001:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
The Battle of Hastings =
Not the best fight, alas.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2001:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
The
Land of Nod
GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2001:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Headstone =
One's death.
RUDE CATEGORY, July 2001:
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Cheap toilet paper =
Crap! People hate it!
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, July 2001:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Yasmin Le Bon =
Mainly bones.
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, July 2001:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Amidst the many tangl'd sheets
An anagrammist lies.
The 'gram begun, she hardly eats,
Try "northward", "snow-blind eyes".
A phrase miscast, now turn and churn
"I've finished it!" she sighs.
GENERAL CATEGORY, August 2001:
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
The General Hospital =
He operates all night.
RUDE CATEGORY, August 2001:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
So get your fingers out =
Your tongue goes first.
SPAM CATEGORY, August 2001:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Aren't you sick and tired of having to cope with side-effects
from drugs like viagra and than having to take more drugs to counter
the side-effects! Stop hurting your body! Made from the healthiest
and most potent herbs available on the planet, so never any side-effects
nor can you ever take too much. We are proud to present: Men's
Herbal Complex (60 tablets)
With saw palmetto to promote male physical vitality and a healthy prostate and urinary tract. Also, includes avena sativa for renewed libido and damiana to help energize mood. Men from every part of the world depend on this Complex.
There is of course a money back guarantee. Though in the 2 years this Complex being available, there has never been even one return.
For U.S. shipping addresses, total price including Shipping and Handling is only $39.98, $79.96 for 2, $119.94 for 3. Takes 3 - 5 business days for delivery.
Please contact us at, mens_herbal_complex@hotmail.com for out of U.S. shipping prices or for any questions.
To Order by Check or Money Order, please send to Nature's Supplements at:
402 E.3rd St. #145 Long Beach, CA 90802 To Order by Credit Card, please call Nature's Supplements at (562) 951-0737 9-7 P.S.T. If all Nutritionists are busy please leave a message and a Nutritionist will call you back the same day. PRIVACY GUARANTEED.
=
As Veronica clasped Pat's engorged phallus between her restless, rapid fingers and bent over to start to lick the pulsating mass, she soon realised her lover's penis seemed more supple than normal; it appeared to have a peculiar life of its own, seeking her busy tongue as it moved about, rather than Veronica taking authority. She tried not to bite the beast expanding in her mouth, as Veronica mumbled fretfully: "Pat, summat's different, love."
Pat moaned, yet heard nothing. The pill he'd adventurously taken earlier that afternoon was beginning to supply a steady stream of drugs, a very complex chemical cocktail into his shrinking brain. 'Complex', as it had said on the opaque bottle.
Veronica continued to tease her partner's veiny head, unaware of the snot oozing from his nose.
As Pat climaxed, syrupy semen spurted, burst out forcefully from his recently released tumescence, apparently out of control, and sprayed against the bedroom's ceiling. Pat's powerless body toppled on to the bed, his foamy Cyclopean organ a vertical column.
Veronica's eyes followed the line of Pat's knotty stump and read there, in revolting creamy script:
"Abracadabra! Yes! A fuck to die for."
Veronica's dreadful screams could be heard miles away...
LONG CATEGORY, August 2001:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme
beauty - a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture. =
Bertrand Russell duly muses that the comparison of petty arithmetic
and cheeky blow-up statuettes is vaguely beauteous.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2001:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Recent tragic events =
Enact strict revenge.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, October 2001:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Digital MediaSuite =
Add image utilities.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2001:
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
"Murder on the Orient Express" by Agatha Christie =
Hush! Poirot exercises the brain and 'grey matter'.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, November 2001:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Charles Lutwidge Dodgson =
Select odd words, laughing.
GENERAL CATEGORY, December 2001:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Sending a wrapped present =
P.S. We need paper and string.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, December 2001:
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Italy's Mafiosi =
So, it is a family.
SPAM CATEGORY, January 2002:
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Recieving over 1.5 billion page views per month, Ebay is the
ULTIMATE venue for selling virtually any goods and making huge
profits with almost no effort.
But you have to know what to sell and how to sell. That's where Ebay Marketing 2001 comes in.
This manual provides you with easy to understand and detailed instructions for maximizing your profits with selling strategies that are PROVEN WINNERS. This manual provides you with easy to understand and detailed instructions for maximizing your profits with selling strategies that are PROVEN WINNERS.
This information will make you $1000's on Ebay. Although this book was based on eBay auctions, the overall information will work for ALL online auctions. Ebay Marketing 2001 teaches you effective SELLING STRATEGIES and you don't need any specialized computer knowledge. I'm going to pass on the SECRET SELLING TECHNIQUES that I use each and every day to bring in hundreds of thousands of dollars selling my products on internet auctions.
THE INTERNET CAN BE YOUR GOLDMINE!
----------------------------------
Why aren't you digging out the gold? Because you don't have the right tools.
For more information e-mail: joshabrahams@dr.com/ "info" in the subject header.
=
Are you bored by unvarying, irritating, uninformative Internet spam and all it enthusiastically pretends to grant us? Troubled by intrusive requests to solve every problem or improve your situation at just one button's click?
Oh yes.
So, instead of wading through further aggravating inanity and triviality, I reproduce for you a selection of haiku to enjoy, some famous, some not so:
in the cicada's cry
no sign can foretell
how soon it must die
Poverty's child -
she starts to grind some rice,
and gazes at the moon.
a lovely thing to see:
through the paper window's hole,
the Galaxy.
window
wiping to find
winter's face
A sudden shower falls -
and naked I am riding
on a naked horse!
leaf drifts slowly down
Father Time takes one more step
towards vapid winter
behold the ego
set in glowing emptiness
on the edge of time
wisteria vines ambush -
killing all they touch
so beautifully
night, and the moon!
my neighbour, playing on his flute -
out of tune!
lying on my back
a column of exhaled steam
rises to the moon
I kill an ant
and realize my two children
have been watching.
in an urban realm
I discover a tigress
grazing on mulberries
a cautious youth -
hesitant - holds
new stiletto heels.
GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2002:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Radio phone-ins =
Opinions heard.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, February 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Oscar nominated actor Will Smith =
Cinema world contrasts him to Ali.
RUDE CATEGORY, February 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Feeling romantic =
Flaming erection!
SPAM CATEGORY, February 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Did you ever see the television show about the masked magician
who revealed how the magic tricks worked?
There was a huge backlash from magicians all over the country because one guy was giving away their secrets and ruining the tricks! Well, that's what I'm doing.
Internet Millionaires are going nuts because I've decided to show people how we've easily made our fortunes. They think this is going to ruin them, but I know there is enough to go around for everyone who wants it!
So, I said "to heck with them" and I decided to reveal all of the money making secrets used by the most successful Internet Moguls in the business AND guarantee that these tips can make you $1,000 in cold hard cash in 15 days or less!
His method works!
=
Dear Nitwit Spammer
What will you do with the wealth, the money? Here are some of the wittiest suggestions from the devotees of alt.anagrams:
Rent a huge chicken costume, and wander round the streets and suburbs of Washington DC (the White House, too) making clucking noises. (David Bourke)
Achieve the purchase of cute mouse-like actress Winona Ryder's two ovaries (with 115,000 eggs). Or steal them. (Larry Brash)
Discover how to give head like an emotional gigolo eunuch. (Mick Tully)
Convince George W. Bush to stand aside, and admit the election was won by the enemy: Al Gore. (David Green)
Get a gun - shoot it - use it wisely - suicide is painless... (Mey K.)
Huh? Dunno. Oh! Save the bittern? (Dick 'Einstein' Silk)
Kiss my hairy ass! Cheerio! (Adrian H.)
SPECIAL CATEGORY, February 2002:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
American comedian Steven Wright's trademark is
his brilliant dour-faced delivery and remarkably calm, off-the-wall approach to comedy.
GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2002:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Classified Document =
Found access limited.
RUDE CATEGORY, March 2002:
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
A close encounter of the third kind =
The alien confronted her, dicks out.
SPAM CATEGORY, March 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
If you are looking for niche fetish content for your site then
visit us at Modelxpose.
With such fetishes as Pantyhose, Nylons, Panties, Upskirts,
Legs, Feet, Heels, Bondage, Smoking etc we are sure that you can
find the content that will keep your members happy.
With more being added every single day!!
http://www.modelxpose.com
The Adult Webmasters Fetich Content Store
=
Ahoy there!
Alternatively, why not visit our new pet store!
Examine (then shoot) the following:
Poodle Puppies
Fluffy Kittens
Four and Twenty Blackbirds (mixed)
The Chickens
Cocks
Lengthy Serpents
Deer
Stag
Caribou
Mammoths
Sheep (with mange)
Mooses (or should that be Meese?)
Teeny-Weeny Insects
Wet Piscatory Creatures (Fish)
Tufted Toads and
The Ingenious Wolf-Pig
SPECIAL CATEGORY, March 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
I've Got a Little List
GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2002:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Funeral processions =
Person's final course.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, April 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Walt Disney's "Toy Story" =
Woody stars, tiny style.
RUDE CATEGORY, April 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Exotic Dancers =
Concise: X-Rated.
SPAM CATEGORY, April 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Welcome to the fun and excitement of Sea Scouting! Sea Scouts
is a first-class boating adventure for young adults ages 14 through
20. Sea Scouting is adventure on sea and land -- for you. Sea
Scouting is a co-education program were you will receive expert
training in Seamanship, Navigation, Rules of the Road, Safety,
First Aid, Swimming, Small and Large Boat Handling, Sailing, SCUBA,
Marlinespike, and Boat Construction, Maintenance, and Repairs.
You'll be active in camping, social events, tours, regattas, excursions,
and seamanship contests. You'll also have a chance to develop
maritime skills that can lead to careers later on.
If you are intested in learning more check out http://www.joinseascouts.com
=
Forget all that messing about on the water, get a bicycle!
Imagine, tomorrow, gallivanting across agricultural areas,
open countryside, riding on a shining bike.
Breathlessly pedalling up vast hills, just to free-wheel - *fast*
- for miles on the other side. Astonishment!
Go on an excursion on a velocipede or old tandem, cycling in steamy August for perfect picnics of delicate salad, immense Danish pastries and outrageous puddings. Heaven-sent!
Exciting adventures, too, as a titanic truck accelerates and fails to see you. A cracked cranium - a serious concussion - massive trauma - rotten pain - unconsciousness - an anxious wait - an ambulance arrives - fatal devastation...
At two-wheels-on-my-wagon.com
LONG CATEGORY, April 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Each year the Washington Post's Style Invitational asks readers
to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter and supply a new definition.
Here are the 2001 Winners:
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
=
Here is a list highlighting the New Year's Resolutions you *will* sincerely be able to keep:
- Gain a little weight. At least 100 pounds.
- Procrastinate a lot more. Starting tomorrow.
- Don't date any of the beautiful Baywatch cast.
- Singlehandedly get in a whole NEW rut!
- Start being a really superstitious paranoiac.
- Refuse to eat any genuinely cloned beefsteak.
- Watch extra TV. Yeah, I've missed some good stuff lately.
- Don't bring any lunch from home: I should eat out more.
- Get on further into debt.
- Don't unthinkingly believe high-handed grey-haired pin-headed
politicians.
- Break at least 2 traffic laws daily.
- Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.
- Don't have nine children all at once.
- Stay off the International Space Station.
- Don't swim with piranhas or endangered sharks.
- Consider stopping exercising. Yeah, it's an extraordinary waste
of time.
- Haphazardly spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep
track of them.
- Wait around for opportunity.
- Focus painstakingly on the inherent faults of others.
- Don't ever, ever make New Year's Resolutions again.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, April 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Serengeti =
Green site.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, April 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
"Katherine" by Robert Louis Stevenson
TOPICAL CATEGORY, May 2002:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Rail safety =
Fairy tales.
RUDE CATEGORY, May 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Simultaneous =
Mutual noises.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, May 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Muscovites =
Soviet scum.
RUDE CATEGORY, June 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Stretching exercise =
Christ! Energetic sex!
SPAM CATEGORY, June 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
As seen on NBC, CBS, CNN, and even Oprah! The health discovery
that actually reverses aging while burning fat, without dieting
or exercise! This proven discovery has even been reported on by
the New England Journal of Medicine. Forget aging and dieting
forever! And it's Guaranteed!
Click here:
http://web.kuhleersparnis.ch/hgh/index.html
Would you like to lose weight while you sleep!
No dieting!
No hunger pains!
No Cravings!
No strenuous exercise!
Change your life forever!
100% GUARANTEED!
1. Body Fat Loss 82% improvement.
2. Wrinkle Reduction 61% improvement.
3. Energy Level 84% improvement.
4. Muscle Strength 88% improvement.
5. Sexual Potency 75% improvement.
6. Emotional Stability 67% improvement.
7. Memory 62% improvement.
=
New experimental system of male contraception!
Revealed on BBC Radio's programme Farming Today: "Instead
of recommending environmentally unfriendly methods of child prevention
(e.g. condoms), this inexpensive routine is very much better",
Government experts recently agreed.
1. Seek, hunt even, your goat, sheep or suckling pig.
2. Shave and clean him well.
3. Tether the belligerent, shivering, yet spotless beast around
your waist.
4. Manoeuvre begun, inch your lengthening, hardening penis into
the violent creature's ovine/porcine anus.
5. Invoke the Devil.
6. Experiment with your nude, hellish love slave. Cum and rejoice!
View: http://www.bbc.co.uk/farmingtoday/goat_sheep_pig.html
Ring: (028) 168756 or (028) 168774 for more!
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, June 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
"Eagle" flips open antenna; transmits landmark signal from Moon to Earth.
GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2002:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Board meeting =
More debating.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, July 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
George Best's liver transplant operation =
To preserve genial, notable sporting star.
LONG CATEGORY, July 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
O Rose, thou art sick!
The invisible worm
That flies in the night,
In the howling storm,
Has found out thy bed
Of crimson joy:
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy.
=
William Blake's "The Sick Rose" offers the hint that
even in the young, most joyously attractive, blooms hidden horridness,
hidden sorcery within.
It's food for thought.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, July 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Doctor Harold Frederick Shipman =
Horror plan of sick medic - Dr. Death.
LONG CATEGORY, August 2002:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Invictus,
by William Ernest Henley
GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
The petrol station =
Enter that oil-stop.
LONG CATEGORY, September 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Nunc Dimittis
GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Alive =
La vie.
SPAM CATEGORY, October 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
URGENT NEWSFLASH
The government has installed BLACK BOXES into ISPs to watch your Internet surfing.
When you are targeted, the first you will know is the KNOCK AT YOUR DOOR and the JAIL SENTENCE.
If you think you have cleaned your computer - you are WRONG.
They can recover from your PC every single picture or item you have ever watched on the Internet.
You need protection. You need an Evidence Eliminator.
Click Here.
http://www.geocities.com/testee234/
=
Oi! Your mission, should you choose to accept it: to undertake my revenge!
We want you to take a wily peek into the unfortunately ugly, wicked, naive, weedy juvenile pervert's network-connected machine, execute the recovery of any genuinely revolting pornographic entertainment currently there, re-interrogate its cache for noteworthy "Hawaiian Eunuch-Boy" photos, then wreck the hard-drive.
This message will self-destruct in four seconds.
4... 3... 2... BOOM!
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, October 2002:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
The Archbishop of Canterbury =
Another church's type of Rabbi.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, October 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
The Long Category has been problematic for some time now, combining as it often does a number of shorter entries unsuccessfully competing against a few longer ones by the usual suspects. :) As such, I'd like to know what people think about possibly lowering the upper limit of Long from 1000 letters to something more modest, and shunting the longer ones directly into Special.
100 letters (with the option of going a bit over if necessary) should be a good boundary IMO. However, many of the current "short long" crop hover in the 40-60 letter region and might still be disadvantaged by any 80+ 'grams that appear. Hopefully this would be only a minor problem.
Another possibility that comes to mind is to alternate between upper limits, i.e. 100 one month and 1000 the next, with longer 'grams produced in a "short" month held over until the next competition (and vice versa). This would alleviate pressure on a fast-overcrowding Special category, but would create problems for the Grand Anagrammy.
The simplest solution would be to create an entire new category, "Medium" perhaps, but this is something we'd aim to avoid.
One last option also addresses the equivalent problem in Special, that short poems tend to be overwhelmed by the longer variety. Alternation would take place as described above but would involve short prose (limit 100) and short rhymes (limit c.150 in order to allow limericks, rubáiyát, good-sized nursery rhymes etc.). Most major genres of anagram would then be catered for without having to add more categories or cause major disruption to Grand Anagrammy voting.
[We could of course allow short prose and short poems to square off every month, but the former would most likely continue to be thrashed.]
Ideally whichever scheme is chosen should come into effect immediately, but if people prefer we can hold it off until either November or the new year.
What does everyone think?
=
Richard (and other intellectual folk who subscribe to this VoyForum)
Re: The problems with, and improvements to, our 'Long' category.
I don't particularly think I should be suggesting an even-handed solution to the problem as it stands, or attempt to come up with some sort of compromise to the schism. Faint hope :) However, I suppose I'm simply in agreement with David A. Green: "ultimately whatever is decided will be fine by me"
As a pointless example of the disparity currently evident, let me quote the two shortest ever 'long' winners (while noting that the longest ever winner contains over one thousand three hundred letters, developed by David Bourke):
Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? =
So, can he pee on ice and both of gonads not turn blue?
(Richard Brodie)
New Jersey Division of Alcoholic Beverage Control =
So enjoy a cool beer while Driving. Not clever? Fiasco!
(Tom Myers)
The babbling, bumbling, half-baked monologue reply you're currently reading, should some witless fool decide to nominate it forthwith, would immediately go into the 'Special' category (since it contains 1506 letters), but there isn't too much that's special about it. No troublesome pentameter-verse rhyming scheme to adhere to; no grotesque homeomorphic restriction to prosaic octosyllabic words; no amazingly witty, frivolous post about naked sex with a variety of filthy farmyard animals; and only the merest hint of puerile humour.
Pre-supposing that there will be unopposed metamorphosis of this category, when should this new rule become valid? We should postpone it until after the New Year, so that the Grand Anagrammies are unaffected.
Moreover, why not introduce a few new awards?
Parallelograms
Thermograms
Portmanteau-grams
Telegrams
Mammograms
Spectrograms
Holograms
Adrian - Gobbledegook spokesperson (brilliant use of twenty-odd leftover letters!)
TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
The UN Weapons Inspectors =
We search opponent's units.
RUDE CATEGORY, November 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Child molester =
Old Mister Lech.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Chopping Carrots by Jack Cannon
TOPICAL CATEGORY, December 2002:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus =
Hot Tip: Nurse's touch may cause critical illness.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, December 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Italian doctor Severino Antinori =
Revision on traditional creation.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, December 2002:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Anti-Terror Police =
Airline protector.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, January 2003:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Australian Open Tennis =
Presentation is annual.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, January 2003:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
New Year's Resolution =
Notions we rarely use.
LONG CATEGORY, January 2003:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Considered by many as the best film ever made, this is the story of Charles Foster Kane. The film opens with a long shot of Xanadu - the private estate of one of the world's richest men. In the middle of the estate is a castle. We see, inside the castle, a dying man examining a winter scene within a crystal ball. As he drops it, it smashes, and one word is heard - "Rosebud"... What follows are pieces of newsreel like footage detailing how Kane amassed his fortune, and turning around full circle at the end.
=
Orson Welles' exalted masterpiece of the life of a fearless, distinguished news magnate (based on William Randolph Hearst) was elected the greatest of any, by all the American Film Institute. It harnesses extraordinary direction and novel cinematography.
Here's what the critics said: "Flawless!", "Glorious!", "Wondrous Kick-Off!", "Effervescent!", "An Astounding Phenomenon!", "The Shawshank Who?"
(His deathbed dream: "Rosebud" was the name etched on a toy; it identifies a sled lost in the sleet of time!)
GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2003:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Remains hot ~
in a Thermos.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, February 2003:
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Gilbert and Sullivan's "Yeomen of the Guard" =
All raving old Beefeaters hum & sing on duty.
RUDE CATEGORY, February 2003:
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Prosthetic breast implants =
I'm the best (plastic) porn star.
LONG CATEGORY, February 2003:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
From http://www.voy.com/fowner.html:
"VoyForums is planning a scheduled downtime within the next few days. The downtime is for the purpose of upgrading the VoyForums software to the newest version. We expect the downtime to last hours, and may be prolonged to ensure a clean upgrade."
So if you can't get through, try again in a few hours or the next day. With luck, the delay won't be long enough to cause major disruption.
=
What an outrageous announcement! What overblown hogwash! They're going to withdraw the opportunity to post up my mixture of exceedingly dreadful, overweeningly wretched, filthy ass-powered anagrams for a few exceptional moments? I'm dumbfounded! How are we to function or survive without the system? Just how? It's shocking. You offhandedly suggest post-postponement henceforth. Well, I'd rather not!
Adrian
GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2003:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
A multiple personality disorder =
Ordeal promises plural identity.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, March 2003:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
The war correspondent =
Do a 'trench' news report.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, March 2003:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
"We must be the great arsenal of democracy" - Franklin D. Roosevelt =
"Can't anyone ever, sort of, kill Saddam? Or re-elect me, after?" - G. W. Bush
TOPICAL CATEGORY, April 2003:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Reconstructing Iraq =
Requiring contracts.
RUDE CATEGORY, April 2003:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Shitful =
Flush it!
LONG CATEGORY, April 2003:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck, Peregrin Took, Gimli, son of Gloin, Legolas Greenleaf of the Wood-Elves, Boromir, son of Denethor, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and Gandalf the Grey.
=
"Lord of the Rings": Four small, shy Hobbits (one Ring-Bearer), a common, disagreeable dwarf, a good-looking elf, two savage men (one ranger King), and an aged fogey/sorceror plan going to the Fires of Doom.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, April 2003:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
[A famous mnemonic for the digits of pi (HOW=3, I=1, NEED=4 etc.) anagrammed into another pi mnemonic.]
How I need a drink, alcoholic in nature, after the heavy chapters involving quantum mechanics.
=
Can I coin a chant equalling pi? Harken: "Three and unity sevenths." "Void-match", however formulaic.
RUDE CATEGORY, May 2003:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
She's performing fellatio =
Offering her lips to males.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, May 2003:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Admiral Horatio Nelson =
A national hero, milords.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, June 2003:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Alan Mathison Turing =
An original maths nut.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2003:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
My Garden, by
Thomas Edward Brown
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, July 2003:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Athlete Carl Lewis =
Will steal the race.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, September 2003:
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
'The Muppets' creator Jim Henson =
Then triumph on 'Sesame' project.
RUDE CATEGORY, September 2003:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Meeting the in-laws =
"I'm the new genitals."
RUDE CATEGORY, November 2003:
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
A stretch in prison =
O! Sphincter strain!
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, November 2003:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
John Cleese in 'Fawlty Towers' =
Ah! Joy of well-written scenes!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, November 2003:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
His crimes proven =
HM Prison Service.
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, November 2003:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
The fortieth anniversary of the assassination of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy =
Jets in on a
Friday in Nov... Eyes
Keen to gaze first-hand...
Rifle-shots
In the head's front
Part...
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, December 2003:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Timothy Dalton and Pierce Brosnan =
Damn pair! Connery is THE total Bond.
LONG CATEGORY, December 2003:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
People are occasionally having problems with nominations. Teething problems are common with new changes.
The most common problem is making mistake on their nomination, pressing "Post Now", rather than "Review Message", then trying to correct the mistake on their reply (not the original post). The end-result is that the anagram becomes attributed to the nominator not the author.
Helpful tips to overcome this:
1. With all nominations, please use the "Review Message" button.
2. If you have made a mistake, then use your browser's back button and correct the error, and review the message again.
3. If it is correct, then press: "Post this message"
I hope this helps and will mean less work for me to look out for and correct mistakes.
Larry
=
Thanks, Larry (our sometimes spokesperson) for the enlightenment; these three top troubleshooting tips are marvellous.
Nevertheless, more things we must remember when posting to the Forum:
1. When Meyran Kraus has an anagram nominated within a particular category, you might as well not bother posting your pointless one - as he will win the competition himself!
2. Note: please check both the archives prior to being tempted to post discoveries like "A carton of cigarettes - I got a taste for cancer", "A ten-inch dick - Nice and thick" and "Astronomer - Moon-starer."
3. Larry will prohibit, or even remove without comment, bothersome posts (like this unwholesome abomination) that attempt to anagram his messages.
Best wishes,
Adrian.
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, December 2003:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
A school nativity play =
So plan a holy activity.
GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2004:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
International Airports =
Airline transportation.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, January 2004:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Death by Chocolate =
Halted by the cocoa.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, January 2004:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary and those who don't. =
Ho ho! The sharp-eyed nerd! How wonderful not to be trained to speak in 1's and 0's.
LONG CATEGORY, January 2004:
1st - Adrian Hickford with: [A poem by George Crabbe (1754–1832)]
The Marriage
The ring, so worn as you behold,
So thin, so pale, is yet of gold:
The passion such it was to prove--
Worn with life's care, love yet was love.
=
Suppose it's Over
Though it was brilliant, yet it's tarnished now,
The wooing's gone, also the former vow.
A horoscope says "Away he'll flee."
D. I. V. O. R. C. E.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, January 2004:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Tarzan's Cheetah's Life As A Retired Movie Star
GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2004:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
A perfectionist =
I often practise.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, February 2004:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
"On the Origin of Species" by Charles Darwin =
Chronicle brings new ideas of ape history.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, February 2004:
eq.1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Ten things you didn't know:
1. Frying pan fumes can kill canaries, according to the Worldwide Fund for Nature.
2. Bill Clinton sent just two e-mails while he was president.
3. Ken Livingstone, the mayor of London, has got solar panels fitted on the roof of his Cricklewood home.
4. Whales can explode - a dead sperm whale this week exploded in Taiwan, showering blood and body parts on passers-by. Marine biologists blamed it on a build-up of gases inside the whale.
5. More than a quarter of UK households have no savings, according to statistics revealed this week.
6. Pets will be eligible for frequent flier points on Japanese airline JAL from March. The points will be exchangeable for cage rentals on board, as well as gifts.
7. The man who invented Ctrl+Alt+Delete retired on Friday. David Bradley, 55, spent five minutes writing the computer code that has helped bail out millions of PC users, while working for IBM in the 1980s. "I may have invented it, but Bill Gates made it famous," Bradley said.
8. 70% of mobile phone owners in the UK have pre-pay models.
9. Cunning bargain hunters are roaming Ebay looking for misspelled goods which attract hardly any bids because they don't turn up in text searches. One man bought three Compaq laptops at a pittance simply by asking for "Compacts" instead.
10. Brits drank 35% more champagne in bars and pubs in 2003 than in the year before.
=
Ten things that are blindingly obvious:
1. Eight out of ten sophisticated cannibals think late German towns-people taste better.
2. Regardless of wunderkind heart-throb Johnny Depp's distinguished performance, and the wonderful fight scenes within, "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Legend of the Black Pearl" is not quite as good as most people think.
3. Bird-spotters (or twitchers) are quite dull, especially when waxing lyrical about waxwings or whip-poor-wills (which are related to goat-suckers).
4. Decaffeinated coffee is an oxymoron. It is also a flavour-free, unjustifiable, damnable and wretched drink.
5. Udders (cow-boobs) are downright odd; milking cows using one's hands feels fantastic, and the cows like it, too, no doubt.
6. The shrewd, inventive Professor Colin Pillinger (who is still hoping to hear back from embattled Beagle II, abandoned on Martian earth) has incredible, offensive, unfathomably over-developed sideburns.
7. A 'quintillion' is an elephantine, mammoth number. (That's a momentous lot of pachyderm.)
8. Bloated plungers who demonstrate undisciplined belly-flopping will earn few diving medals at the Athens Olympics.
9. 85570039 is exactly divisible by 53.
10. "The Royal Shakespeare Company" is an anagram of "One may appear there as Shylock"; composed by Meyran Kraus in June 2001, this won best overall anagram in the Grand Anagrammies.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, March 2004:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Elves end a war =
Eleven awards.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, March 2004:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Tony Blair meets Colonel Gaddafi =
"Fool coming!" stated Libyan leader.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, March 2004:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
The broadcaster and writer Alistair Cooke =
Work abroad (across the Atlantic); retire; die.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, March 2004:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Castle, knight, armour... =
King Arthur's Camelot.
LONG CATEGORY, March 2004:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Anthem for Doomed Youth, by Wilfred Owen
SPECIAL CATEGORY, April 2004:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Ironic by Alanis Morissette
GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2004:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
A knight in armour =
I am no King Arthur.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, May 2004:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Surrealist Salvador Dali =
All art's a visual disorder.
GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2004:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Theological discussions =
Go inside Catholics' souls.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, June 2004:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
The Harry Potter series of movies =
Three stories, more heavy profits.
RUDE CATEGORY, June 2004:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Teenagers (boys) ~
get easy boners.
GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2004:
eq.2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Eyes naturally show ~
she really wants you.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, July 2004:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Drugs in athletics =
Suicidal strength.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2004:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
US Election Day ‡
Easily counted.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, January 2005:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Academy Award nominees =
Cinema nowadays... Dear me!
RUDE CATEGORY, March 2005:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Relationship expert =
Rotten sex? I help pair.
RUDE CATEGORY, April 2005:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Interactive porn =
Pervert in action.
GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2005:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Thai food =
A hot Fido.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, September 2005:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
"Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation" by Lynne Truss =
Bet proven author's style can train us to analyze & use the apostrophe, colons, etc.
RUDE CATEGORY, September 2005:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
See 'Hymen Reconstruction' =
Thus, restore my innocence.
GENERAL CATEGORY, November 2005:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Ancient armour on ~
a Roman Centurion.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 2005:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
An Austrian Army
GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2007:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Home brewery =
Why? More beer!
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, June 2007:
3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
America
by Samuel F. Smith
My country, 'tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing;
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrims' pride,
From every mountainside, let freedom ring!
=
Me, Me and Me
by Yours Truly
**Fanfare**
I love Me. I really do.
Wow!
I'm effortlessly perfect.
I'm different. I'm grand.
I built and finished Earth.
My Son is Christ,
The Greatest Hope.
I'm God.
The End.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, July 2008:
Eq3rd - Adrian Hickford with:
Blasphemies of ~
female bishops.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, November 2008:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
US President-elect Barack Obama =
Democrats take Republican base.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, December 2008:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
The Flat Earth Society =
Cite that false theory.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, March 2009:
1st - Adrian Hickford with:
The accordion =
Chaotic drone.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, July 2009:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
The moon landing's fortieth anniversary =
Vision of Armstrong, then Aldrin? Hey, neat!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, December 2009:
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
The gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh =
Three Kings offer damn fancy things, Lord!
Table of All-Time Placegetters
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