Anagrammy Placings by Don P. Fortier
All the highly-placed anagrams by Don P. Fortier from the Anagrammy Awards.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, August 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
George Bush =
He bugs Gore.
ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY, September 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address =
Sacred martyrs bought land a blessing.
Oh, stand gently amid rags, scars, rubble.
Battles bred such grand moral sayings.
GENERAL CATEGORY, October 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
The best laid plans of mice and men =
And sometimes blind fate can help...
SPAM CATEGORY, October 1999:
3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
My name is Ron, I'm 24 and I hate getting spammed, so this message is personalized just for you! =
Motto: Get prize inanity from spamming jughead 24 hours a day! Immense ass! Senseless idiot!
LONG CATEGORY, October 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
=
Shakespeare's truly grand romantic love poem added seasonal themes:
Told adored maid how her beauty might almost shame that of Mother
Nature.
Lush, really amorous!
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 1999:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
Disneyland's Magic Kingdom =
Mickey's singing, Donald mad.
RUDE CATEGORY, November 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
This is not spam. You are receiving this because you have sent
me information about your program or opportunity and I appreciate
it. I would like to reciprocate because many of you would like
to retire, financially, within 6-9 months, as I will. Let me keep
it short and direct. I have extremely valuable information to
share with you. It involves a private club and wealth building
along with asset preservation. The best part is you DO NOT have
to recruit or sell if you choose not to. Just being a member will
avail you to unbelievable wealth building tools and information
formerly reserved only for the rich and famous. If you want to
test me on my claim to retire with this, financially, within my
first 6-9 months, do yourself a favor and click here.
=
Okay, irate viewers, I'll concede I'm a rotten bastard. I'm a
bitch for this ridiculous crap on USENET. But I've received a
lot of moolah previously with alt.binary files of me and a goat
in "69" sex (a real rarity). Unfortunately the "69"
biting has almost ruined my penis: his teeth chewed it and it's
terribly ugly, and no woman will have me. And I use a powerful
"GLUE" to "preserve my member". Pervert jerks
will buy this stuff, but I hurt too much when I pee. If you want
to try it, I'll provide you the name of every loony moron or flaky
twit inside our circle who'll pay for that shit. Drop me a note.
Ciao!
P.S. I really love sucking that goat, but I won't imbibe urine.
I hate those animal control men or accusations of "an oral
sodomy violation"... not a violation if I have consent, is
it?
SPAM CATEGORY, November 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
Starting your own business!!!
Get Paid For Every Email Message You Receive!
a.. Earn CASH for every email you receive!
b.. Stop searching... Get email about your interests!
c.. FREE membership... Start earning money right now, today!
d.. Fun and Easy
http://www.sendmoreinfo.com
=
Accrue more of this useless shit!
You get spam in your e-mail forever!
a.. We get paid for your names, see? You never eye a cent!
b.. Program may set your browser to shitty site in Albania!
c.. Never get ANYTHING free!
d.. Deceiving and Embarrassing!
http://www.defines.moron.com
LONG CATEGORY, November 1999:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
"Ask not what your country can do for you...
ask what you can do for your country."
"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not."
=
A history: The two Kennedys, one our country's
second-youngest Commander-in-Chief, hurry away forever.
"And has any gunshot taken away,
What you two martyrs had to say?"
SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
Piano
Man
SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 1999:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
The
Gettysburg Address
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, May 2000:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
The hit musical is Andrew Lloyd Webber's "CATS" =
I beheld a cast hiss, rub, claw, stridently meow.
RUDE CATEGORY, June 2000:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
Shit! I cannot poo! =
Oh? Constipation?
LONG SPAM CATEGORY, September 2000:
3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Released by your own pituitary gland, GH starts declining in your
20s, even more in your 30s and 40s, eventually resulting in the
shrinkage of major organs--plus all other symptoms related to
old age.
THIS CAN NOW BE REVERSED!!! IN THOUSANDS OF CLINICAL STUDIES, GH HAS BEEN SHOWN TO ACCOMPLISH THE FOLLOWING:
* Reduce Body Fat and Build Lean Muscle WITHOUT EXERCISE!
* Enhance Sexual Performance
* Remove Wrinkles and Cellulite
* Lower Blood Pressure and improve Cholesterol Profile
* Improve Sleep, Vision and Memory
* Restore Hair Color and Growth
* Strengthen the Immune System
* Increase Energy and Cardiac Output
* Turn back your body's Biological Time Clock 10-20 years in 6
months of usage!!!
For MORE FREE INFORMATION or TO ORDER PRODUCT, please access the
link below, or contact us by email or voicemail anytime of day.
Find out how GH Implementation can "Reverse the Aging Process"
for you!
http://www.ghliquid.com
1-888-624-9852
goodliving2001@europe.com
goodliving2001@hotmail.com
(Distributors WANTED. We welcome INTERNATIONAL REPRESENTATION.)
=
A Million Dollar Discovery: HEALTH in GOAT SEMEN
My new incoming (bogus) investigations have been confirming the value of our GOAT CUM (GC) dietary supplement. Formerly, only third-world shepherds enjoyed the "full-blown" benefits of this miraculous substance.
GC will:
* Soothe sore throats (swallow at least 2-4 ounces)
* Clear sinus congestion (when inhaled)
* Keep vision 20-20 (gentle as water on your eyes)
* Be a rapid laxative (hold it!)
* Shrink your prostate (manual application recommended)
* Bleach skin spots (test inconspicuously for yellowing)
* Add mirror sheen to your hair (lengthen blonde)
* Attract female goats (No fooling: Free cheese!)
Don't depend on grocers, preservatives, or expensive, cumbersome refrigeration: obtain your GC directly from your OWN goats! Our trim, improved Irish breed produces a minimum of 1095 ounces yearly @ 3 per day.
1-800-462-8286 (1-800-GOATCUM)
http://www.coolmilliondollar.com/hiddenranch
Or write: goatlicking2001@hotsquirt.com
*** Caution: Suckers ruled "immoral", however, become WANTED and need LEGAL REPRESENTATION.
ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY, September 2000:
eq.3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Lee Harvey Oswald =
A sad, very low heel.
Wee shady overall.
Shall eye a red vow.
Why else a lad over?
As volley we heard.
Was hell, day or eve.
How severe a dally.
Away! Do serve hell!
Ay, he leaves world.
Yes, held a real vow.
However, a sly deal.
Oh, a lawyer delves.
Reveal ye, old Shaw?
Who lays revealed?
Real way shoveled.
Hey... we over Dallas?
LONG CATEGORY, October 2000:
3rd - Don P. Fortier with: [From Othello, Act V, scene II]
"Speak of me as I am; nothing extenuate,
Nor set down aught in malice: then must you speak
Of one that loved not wisely but too well."
=
"Look upon us: Iago gave a most potent untruth.
I, Othello, slew that innocent beauty, wife Desdemona.
Shame takes my own life next..."
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, October 2000:
3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Alfred Hitchcock, Master of Suspense =
Plot? Heck, he scared us stiff! Scream on!
ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY, October 2000:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
Oscar Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest" =
Epic reads: Two girls, mother, one absent fiancé.
Predilection for best wit as name change rose,
Breach is a rift, some secret pain to Gwendolen,
As scene tempo races on with glorified banter.
RUDE CATEGORY, January 2001:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
Autoerotic asphyxiation =
I act out sex. No air? Oh, a pity.
ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY, January 2001:
3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
DUE TO THE RECENT INCREASE OF POPULARITY & RESPECT THIS PROGRAM HAS ATTAINED, IT IS CURRENTLY WORKING BETTER THAN EVER =
Larry Brash's intent is to entice & to protect the unfettered crap. They keep recurring to provide us with anagrams. (A lie?)
So we need to probe harder, investigate the irritating & unrepentant poster (a chore!) I rather suspect crafty Mick Tully!
On the other hand, couldn't Mey Kraus possibly create & reprise transparent farce without getting erratic, repetitive? =
California student Ben Yackley reiterates that recent mad & pretentious "report" crap? Proving he's the writer is tough.
True poet David Bourke preparing a reluctant & tragic confession: he wrote the trite perennial trash. "My shitty secret."
Richard Brodie threatening to turn up a terrifying Psalms tract to stop these cute & cheeky Revelations we air. (Repent!)
Ms. Burholt & Art appreciate their inclusion here, pretending to take pride at such near-witty travesty. "Forget encores!"
SPAM CATEGORY, February 2001:
eq.3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Nymphomaniacs Out of Control
Hardcore Adult Action
Live instant XXX action is right HERE
=
Hi!
Having to coax cash from horny, stupid man?
Learn to extract a lot.
I do excel in instruction.
GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2001:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
"Are you the Messiah?" =
"Ah, so true. Yes, I am He."
LONG CATEGORY, April 2001:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
WOMEN
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving.
They are smart; knowing that knowledge is power. But know how
to use their softer side to make a point.
Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and
themselves.
Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the
loss of a family member, even when it is an in-law.
They are strong when they think there is no strength left.
A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They can drive
you wild, would fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much
they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They
give compassion and ideals. They give moral support those around
them.
And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the
same to people to whom you care.
MEN
Men are good at lifting heavy things and fixing stuff.
=
CATS
...are friendly, but aloof, independent.
Kitties have warm, soft fur... and leave it everywhere.
They jump into your lap and get comfortable.
They know good grooming and make a show out of washing themselves.
They rub against your leg, when they feel like it, and bury their
own poop, often in your garden.
They are good with high numbers: feline moms like to raise large
families.
Even when one is small in size, it has the heart of a jungle lion.
A harsh warning hiss may be harmless, but hold on...
don't forget about those sharp claws and fangs they have!
Cats know no laws, morals, or embarrassment.
They know how to chase mice in dark rooms, how to flip over in
midair, how to pounce, and how to make "meow" mean whatever
they want it to.
Envy them, the smartest animals in the world: they sleep a minimum
of fifteen hours a day.
They are content to sit in a window and watch the world go by.
DOGS
...expect you to walk them, even in the rain.
SPAM CATEGORY, July 2001:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
Pinnacle Deals is a free site that provides daily updates of the
hottest and most difficult to find deals. Additionally, we have
secret coupon codes forover 250 stores and a community where you
can exchange deal information withother users. Always check our
site before you buy something online. Chances are, we'll save
you money.
=
52 weeks each year,
Some base act crawls in here.
Almost every other day,
I could shovel stuff away.
I could see SPAM from the start:
Such an odd idiotic fart.
No one needed you around,
So bug off, cheesy clown!
Except for a simple mind,
I guarantee you'll find
0 interest, (not a whit!)
In that "secret coupon" shit.
Even *I'll* avoid... those easily annoyed. :-)
SPAM CATEGORY, March 2002:
3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Please check out 5 dollars an email...I earned over $850.00 last
month simply by using this program. This company is free to join.
You can get paid and earn prizes for surfing, reading email, taking
surveys, chatting and playing games. To read all about the program,
you must click on the link and sign up. there are no obligations
Just click on the link on the mail and it will take you to the
sign-up page in a new window. Remember to refer all your friends,
as this is how you will make more money.
GOTO
http://www.5DollarEmails.com/cgi-bin/signup.cgi?r=prowler00x@comcast.net
=
$5 an e-mail? Even 500 is peanuts! I'm extorting a real CARLOAD
of loot from online companies, simply by hacking into a website
and copying message parts they thought were erased away. Just
think: an incriminating note Ken Lay or Skilling wrote could command
a price of 50 grand or higher. Either they pay us or the mud's
slung and a CEO's looking at time in jail.
Also, during the Microsoft trial, the US government reportedly
paid for all those surprising Bill Gates memos. Will opportunity
knock again?
I'm not crazy. Call me and we'll whip up some big bucks: 800-WWW-GURU.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, February 2004:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
The Passion of the Christ =
His fine path to the cross.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, April 2005:
3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Hillary Clinton's black comedy =
"Kill My Bill" (any chance, doctors?)
GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2008:
3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
Irate insects and bugs ~
scare, bite, and sting us.
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, March 2008:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
The first Sunday after the first full moon on or after the vernal equinox =
Turn of event oft equals "Easter" : Exult, sinner! Affirm faith! Honor thy Lord!
Table of All-Time Placegetters
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