Anagrammy Placings by Rosie Perera
All the highly-placed anagrams by Rosie Perera from the Anagrammy Awards.
GENERAL CATEGORY, November 2004:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
An apple each day keeps the doctor away =
Hey, claptrap! We eat peaches and do okay.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2004:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Walt Disney's Magic Kingdom =
Long days wasted in gimmick.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, November 2004:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
New York Giants =
Towering Yanks.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, December 2004:
eq.3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The notes in a scale: do re mi fa sol la ti do =
Soloists note familial chant: "Doe, a deer, ..."
TOPICAL CATEGORY, January 2005:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
President's limo =
Simpleton's ride.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, January 2005:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
American Society of Civil Engineers =
I secretly imagine nice roof caves in.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, January 2005:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Why does George Mallory desire to climb Mount Everest? =
Gold? Glory? More wisdom? Mere novelty?
Because it's there!
LONG CATEGORY, February 2005:
eq.3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The parable of the Prodigal Son, as told in the fifteenth chapter of Luke, commencing at verse eleven, continuing through verse thirty-two =
Son rebuffed father's love, took inheritance, spent it all on hot wenching, etc., ate pig slop (that hurt!), truly grieved, then came home, forgiven.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, March 2005:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Burger King's Enormous Omelet Sandwich =
Oh, malign new grub induces more strokes.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, April 2005:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
US Office of Management and Budget =
Fudge; finance mega amounts of debt.
GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2005:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Internet addiction =
Cannot end it. I tried.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, June 2005:
eq.3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Astronaut Sally Ride =
Lure a lady into stars.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, June 2005:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
The Federal Witness Protection Program =
Tattlers get new ID, car, sniper-proof home.
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, June 2005:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The Austrian neurologist, Sigmund Freud =
And thus, listening, figure out our dreams!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, July 2005:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
"He is a person that will make all Americans proud to be a member of the Supreme Court." =
True, it seems our nice ape-fellow Bush has committed another remarkable malaprop.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, January 2006:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Canada's new Prime Minister, Stephen Harper =
This deep man renews American partnership.
LONG CATEGORY, February 2006:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
This year, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address fall on the same day. As Air America Radio pointed out:
"It is an ironic juxtaposition. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication, and the other involves a groundhog."
=
President Bush lists his leadership skills on his CV:
1. I'm fit as a fiddle, love to go jogging, and could outrun you any day.
2. I have a vacation ranch in Texas. I entertain there.
3. Half our nation elected me.
4. I am a Christian, too. Proof? I tolerate teetotalers.
5. A good negotiator? No, no, no! I win through war - no end!
GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2006:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
A marble statue =
Mute alabaster.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, April 2006:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte =
No mean peon -- a proper battle hero!
LONG CATEGORY, April 2006:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
A rabbi is on a plane with a Korean guy sitting beside him. After a couple of hours, the rabbi leans over to the guy and says, condescendingly, "You know, I've never forgiven you Chinese for what you did at Pearl Harbor." The Korean guy looks up and replies, "What are you talking about?! It was the Japanese who bombed Pearl Harbor. It wasn't the Chinese. And besides, I'm neither Chinese nor Japanese, I'm Korean!" The rabbi says, "Korean, Japanese, Chinese, what's the difference?"
=
A while later, after a brief nap, a banana, soup, a pie, a pale ale, and a wine, the audacious, tipsy, obese Korean leans over to the sleepy rabbi and says, "Ah, ahem...you know, I've never forgiven you Jews for sinking the Titanic." The rabbi looks perturbed and says, icily, "Oh, pooh! What do you mean?! The Jews didn't do any such thing! An enormous iceberg sank the Titanic, you abhorrent jerk!" The Korean shushes him and replies, "Iceberg, Rosenberg, Weinberg, so what's the difference?"
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, May 2006:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
"Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration." - Thomas Edison =
Our president, opining: "Idiocy is one percent an appointment (I ran), the rest in insaneness."
LONG CATEGORY, May 2006:
eq.2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Within the first three months of the year, G. W. Bush has been the punchline of three hundred and seven monologue jokes by late-night show hosts Jay Leno, David Letterman and Conan O'Brien, according to the Center for Media and Public Affairs, which always keeps track of such statistics.
=
Leno mainly scoffs at the idiot. Behold! Consider one such fun jab: "Savvy former Pres. Garfield could write French with one hand and Greek with the other, both at the same time! When that ninny Bush learns about this, he says, 'Jesus! A shocking concept! We once had a talking cat for president?'"
TOPICAL CATEGORY, July 2006:
eq2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Israel attacks Lebanon =
One state can kill Arabs.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, August 2006:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Cuban exiles =
Inexcusable!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, August 2006:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
The Windows Operating System =
Spyware gets in (its own method).
TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2006:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Overheard at school playground: ~
"Ever had any drugs, alcohol or pot?"
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, September 2006:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
The cartoonist Matt Groening ~
got attention tracing Homer S.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, September 2006:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
The Smart Car =
Hamster cart.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2006:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Yesterday (by The Beatles)
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, October 2006:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The International Gender Dysphoria Association =
An operation, since son had other identity as a girl.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2006:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Saddam Hussein sentenced to death by hanging =
Oddest thing! Such a nasty man needs beheading!
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, November 2006:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
United States President George W. Bush =
Unwise, desperate. Bet he's trusting God!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, November 2006:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
"As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time." - Donald Rumsfeld =
To withdraw? Why? You mount a war with the most mad, arrogant, faulty leaders you have, not ones you may or might like to have.
GENERAL CATEGORY, December 2006:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Oral contraceptive =
I can protect a lover.
LONG CATEGORY, December 2006:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Interviewer: First on the show, we've got a man who speaks entirely in anagrams.
Man: Taht si crreoct.
Interviewer: Do you enjoy it?
Man: I stom certainly od. Revy chum so.
Interviewer: And I believe you're working on an anagram version of Shakespeare?
Man: Sey, sey - taht si crreoct, er - ta the mnemot I'm wroking on The Mating of the Wersh.
Interviewer: The Mating of the Wersh? By William Shakespeare?
Man: Nay, by Malliwi Rapesheake.
Interviewer: And what else?
Man: Two Netlemeng of Verona, Twelfth Thing, The Chamrent of Venice.
Interviewer: Have you done Hamlet?
Man: Thamle. Be ot or bot ne ot, tath is the nestquoi.
Interviewer: And what is your next project?
Man: Ring Kichard the Thrid.
Interviewer: I'm sorry?
Man: A shroe! A shroe! My dingkom for a shroe!
Interviewer: Ah, Ring Kichard, yes. But surely that's not an anagram, that's a spoonerism.
=
The Anagrammy Forum regulars (or occasional posters):
First we've got Larry Brash. Then there's Tony Crafter, Rosie Perera, Horrid Stretchy Pus (aka Chris Sturdy), David Bourke, Meyran Kraus, Paul Pan, Mike Keith, Dan Fortier, Andrew, Don Rogers, Rick Rothstein, Mike Mesterton-Gibbons, View, aussie battler, ....
We like to invent jovial anagram jokes involving Monty Python, Iraq, George W & Tony, sex, movie and television stars, entertainment, faith, crime victims, memorable verses, inanity, what is in the news (whether newsworthy or not), Christmas, athletics, effeminate minority men, rainy weather, meteorite information, wine, ....
We'll anagram whatever, whenever, however -- i.e., anytime, anywhere, any way we can. One time in the month, we vote on a nominee nominated in the month to give an award to. What a great game, eh? Heh, heh, heh, heh!
GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2007:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
A child molester =
Mother calls: "Die!"
TOPICAL CATEGORY, January 2007:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
President George W. Bush's State of the Union Address =
Enough deaths, persistent snob. For we are disgusted!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, January 2007:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Hillary: "Perhaps there are better candidates for President than myself." =
Pat reply: Any fresh face is better than the present horrid, dismal leader!
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, January 2007:
eq3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Swift's Epitaph by William Butler Yeats
Swift has sailed into his rest;
Savage indignation there
Cannot lacerate his breast.
Imitate him if you dare,
World-besotted traveller; he
Served human liberty. =
No more derby racing, eating hay --
It was frail Barbaro's last day.
The needle slid swiftly into his vein;
The vet said it was ethical, humane.
Rider wept: "'Slept?' It's sure a shame."
But to live is bitter for the lame.
LONG CATEGORY, February 2007:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Bushido, meaning "Way of the warrior", is a Japanese code of conduct and a way of life, loosely analogous to the European concept of chivalry. Bushido developed between the 11th to 14th centuries as set forth by numerous translated documents dating from the 12th to 16th centuries. According to the Japanese dictionary Shogakukan Kokugo Daijiten, "Bushido is defined as a unique philosophy (ronri) that spread through the warrior class from the Muromachi (chusei) period."
The core tenets of Bushido date from as early as the 12th century as demonstrated by the earliest translations of Japanese literature and warrior house codes.
Under the Tokugawa Shogunate, Bushido became formalized into Japanese Feudal Law.
Inazo Nitobe, in his book Bushido: The Soul of Japan, described Bushido in this way. "...Bushido, then, is the code of moral principles which the samurai were required or instructed to observe... More frequently it is a code unuttered and unwritten... It was an organic growth of decades and centuries of military career."
=
Bush-ego, meaning "Way of the War President," is an American code of conduct, a swashbuckling way of life, loosely analogous to the Wild West cowboy ethic. Bush-ego developed in the run-up to the 2000 elections and became utterly intolerable in 2004. The turn of events in 2001 was quite instrumental in its ascension.
The core tenets of Bush-ego are:
- be audacious, a pious jackass, a hothead, a jerk, a fraud
- stay the course (Ha! Ha!)
- stand firm on Iraq (Ha! Ha!)
- stop a few terrorists from any attempts at jihad afoot on our territory (Ha! Ha! Ha!)
- read "Pet Goat" stories in your country's hour of terror (Duh!)
- be misunderestimated (Duh!)
- pose for photo ops (Duh!)
- decide, decide, decide! (Duh!)
- outdo Dad at war (Hee, hee!)
Under the Department of Homeland Security, Bush-ego became formalized into a distrust for the rule of law.
Karl Rove, in his book, Bush-ego II: Adieu: The Squashing of Iran, described it in this way: "Bush-ego, then, is a code of immoral principles which allows a brazen perjurer to hijack another country and inject discord and torture on its innocent residents."
GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2007:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
College graduation ceremony =
Local guy, art degree, no income.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, April 2007:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during an icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without noticing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a big heart attack. The widow decided to check her email, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I’ve arrived
I bet you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!
=
Bill Gates dies and turns up forthwith at the pearly gates (no pun intended), where he is told in an interview that they don't know whether to send him up to Heaven or down to Hell. Up for his heroic role in "a PC on every desk and in every home," or down for Microsoft software, and Windows in particular.
So while the Father and Son-Redeemer are making up their conjoined minds, they send him down for a sneak preview of Hades. It's uncrowded, a carefree society. Full of wonder; delicious food; palm trees; lovely, affectionate and erotic Hawaiian girls; camaraderie to outdo all earth camaraderie; comfy chairs; fine wine; aesthetic heirloom decor; no hotheaded war; no tedium; no outdated, humdrum, "thee-thou" church; free travel; all the coffee you can consume; riotous humour; accurate news media; infinite free education; and furthermore -- majorly awesome computers! (Steve Jobs is there, too.) Wowed, Bill does not need to see any more, and he tells them he has chosen to go to hell to settle there.
Seven days later, St. Gabriel drops in to see how Gates is doing down there, and finds the man huddled in a very dark, very hot pit, submerged up to his head in very evil smelling cow manure.
"Hi, there," says Gabriel. "How is it going here?"
"Just awful," says Bill, eyeing the messenger's crucifix. "Do breathe a whiff of this! Whew! This is nothing like what you showed me!"
"What? Oh, sorry," says the angel. "That was the beta version."
TOPICAL CATEGORY, July 2007:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Inebriated astronauts =
Nausea started in orbit.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, August 2007:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
The University of Notre Dame =
A home in it for every student.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, September 2007:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Two jumper cables walk into a bar. The freaked out bar tender says, "You two, don't start anything." =
Two fonts enter a bar and Barack the old wraith barman says, "Get out! We just don't like your type."
GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2007:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Volunteer firefighters ~
ever forfeit their lungs.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, October 2007:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The Italian physicist Galileo Galilei =
His telescope agility -- I'll hail it again!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, October 2007:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
The U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom =
I see one God in one soul. No matter if Christian or Muslim.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2007:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
American Thanksgiving =
Carving again, methinks.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, November 2007:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
International UFO Bureau =
Furore about an alien unit.
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, November 2007:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
World Day for the Prevention of Child Abuse =
Heard often: don't club or whip five-year-olds!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, December 2007:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Vladimir Putin is named Time Magazine's "Person of the Year" =
Media lionized him: repugnant, fearsome, impassive tyrant.
LONG CATEGORY, December 2007:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Confirm Facebook Account Deactivation: Please let us know why you are deactivating. (required)
* I don't find Facebook useful.
* I need to fix something in my account.
* I have another Facebook account.
* I receive too many emails from Facebook.
* I don't feel safe on the site.
* I spend too much time using Facebook.
* This is temporary. I'll be back.
* Facebook is resulting in social drama for me.
* Other
=
Please let us know why you are taking a break from the Anagrammy Forum:
* I am too addicted.
* I need to spend time doing other things.
* I like choice. (Click? No!)
* I cannot beat Mey. I'm a novice.
* The office computer is broken.
* I can't stand the effect of rude curses on me. ("You fuck off!")
* I have a social life, a beau.
* Serious coercion from Vatican officials.
(Booo! Boooo!)
* It's Advent! Next Question?
I'll be back!
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, January 2008:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Miss America Contest =
Master cosmeticians.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, January 2008:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Yosemite National Park =
Area many like to stop in.
LONG CATEGORY, January 2008:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Obama's Top Ten list on The Late Show with David Letterman:
"Barack Obama Campaign Promises"
10. To keep the budget balanced, I'll rent the situation room for sweet sixteens.
9. I will double your tax money at the craps table.
8. Appoint Mitt Romney secretary of lookin' good.
7. If you bring a gator to the White House, I'll wrassle it.
6. I'll put Regis on the nickel.
5. I'll rename the tenth month of the year "Barack-tober."
4. I won't let Apple release the new and improved iPod the day after you bought the previous model.
3. I'll find money in the budget to buy Letterman a decent hairpiece.
2. Pronounce the word nuclear, nuclear.
1. Three words: Vice President Oprah.
=
Ten Enumerable Hillary Clinton Campaign Promises...(Ten!)
10. Let talented Bill back into the White House (and he gets his own private bedroom).
9. Send that weedy outdated dolt George Bush packing back to Texas. (Heehaw! LOL!)
8. Motto: Read my lips: new taxes!
7. Mitt Romney who?
6. Rename Capitol Hill to Capitol Hillary (after dearly departed Edmund, of course).
5. Detente: Reinstate French fries in the White House cafeteria.
4. Let's make sure my photo ops are never in parachutist garb on aircraft carrier.
3. I won't babble aloud stupidly like the unimaginitive guy in there now. (LOL!)
2. Rout the overpopulation problem.
1. Toot my own horn! (Toot! Toot! Beep! Beep!)
SPECIAL CATEGORY, January 2008:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
The Gashlycrumb Tinies
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, February 2008:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
"No Country for Old Men" wins the best picture award =
Two Coen brothers dwarf opulent cinema industry.
LONG CATEGORY, February 2008:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
A mouse dies and goes to heaven. After a few days, he approaches St. Peter and says "Wow, I love this place, but it's so big! Our little legs make it hard to get around here." Peter says, "Hmm. Very well then" and gives him and all the mice roller skates.
=
Some time later a dark old starved cat dies and goes to heaven. After a few days there, St. Peter asks him subtly, "How are things going, eh?" Undaunted, he marvels, "This sweet hospitable place -- I love it! Especially your meals-on-wheels program!"
GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2008:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Theological discussions =
God, soul, sin, social ethics.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, April 2008:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Monty Python's motion picture "Life of Brian" =
Untimely birth of son of no importance. Pity.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, April 2008:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The Olympic Games Sacred Flame Protection Unit =
Chinese Communist Party police team after gold?
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, April 2008:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Chinese Government =
Vehement censoring.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, May 2008:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull =
All on set think Lucas and Ford enjoyed making this.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, May 2008:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Cyclone Nargis ~
circles Yangon.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, May 2008:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Microsoft touch-screen Windows =
I'd force consumers to switch now.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, May 2008:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
George Bush's presidency disapproval rating hits all-time high =
Poll said seventy percent gag at his horrible, rigid mishaps. Ugh!
TOPICAL CATEGORY, June 2008:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Senator McCain offers "right change" =
Rich ones among staff can get richer.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, July 2008:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
The National Candida Society =
A client had a yeast condition.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, July 2008:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI celebrates Mass in Australia =
His plan is: praise, console, and liberate the sex abuse victims.
GENERAL CATEGORY, August 2008:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Algae bio-fuels =
Usable foliage.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2008:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
A pitbull in lipstick =
But I still pick Palin.
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, September 2008:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
I respectfully request to be relieved from the command of this army =
My protest delivered, I'm off to Quebec. It's normally much safer there.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, October 2008:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Iceland to fall now, blaming ~
global financial meltdown.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, October 2008:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
An African American as President of the United States? =
Can interested enthusiasm defeat frantic paranoias?
GENERAL CATEGORY, November 2008:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The white Bengal tiger =
Being with large teeth.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, November 2008:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
President-Elect Barack Hussein Obama =
A liked senator beat McCain. He's superb!
GENERAL CATEGORY, December 2008:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Homeless shelter =
Shoes smell there.
GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2009:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Genetically modified organisms =
A farm site is meddling in ecology.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, January 2009:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Ledger now belongs in ~
Golden Globe winners.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, January 2009:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
The Central African Republic =
Interracial place, but French.
LONG CATEGORY, January 2009:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the good Lord appeared and asked, 'O my dear child, why do you cry? Why are you so upset?' The seamstress replied, 'O Lord, can you help me?' and announced that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it so she could sew for her husband to help him make a living for their family of four. However she did not know how to swim. The good Lord, ever understanding, dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a beautiful golden thimble set with fancy sapphires.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked The seamstress replied, 'No.'
The good Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with particularly interesting and beautiful rubies.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord reached down again and came up with a very plain leather thimble.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, 'Yes.'
The Lord was pleased with the womanÕs honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep for herself, and the seamstress went home very happy to tell her husband all about it.
=
Some years later, the shrewd seamstress was strolling with her twelfth husband along the riverbank, and her plump, stiff, blind, droll, dullard, screwball husband tripped (thump!), plopped into the dreaded river (splash!), and disappeared under the hellish waterÕs depth. When she cried out in shrill throbs, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' She shrieked, 'Lord, help me! My husband has fallen into the river!'
The Lord knelt down in the depth and came up with George Clooney. 'Is this your husband?' he asked.
'Yes,' cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. 'That is a lie!'
The determined seamstress replied, 'Please forgive me. It is a little misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with the blond dearie, Brad Pitt.
Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband Ben with the metal teeth. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. IÕm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of them all, so THATÕs why I premeditated and said 'yes' to the wet George Clooney there.
And so the Lord let her keep him. (The thrill!)
The moral of this story is:
Whenever a woman lies, itÕs for a good reason!
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, February 2009:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Voltaire: Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination =
Love is a brave, devoted husband, maintaining our family and career in sobriety.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, March 2009:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
The banking crisis =
Rethinking basics.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, March 2009:
eq2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Burmese pythons released in the Everglades threaten Florida Keys =
Ah, enormous snakes eat everything: birds, pets, the elderly... Flee, dear!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, May 2009:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Miss California's breast implants funded by pageant=
And it seems super big tits and small brain can pay off.
GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2009:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Social networking =
I know girls at once.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, July 2009:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Walter Cronkite =
Relic at network.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, July 2009:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The San Francisco Zoo's same sex penguin couple Harry and Pepper splits up =
Such gay partnerships in nests perplex, amaze, confound us prosaic people.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, August 2009:
Eq3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America =
I'm a real fat cat. A rapid cure can sure earn much cash for me.
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, August 2009:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." =
Oh, that penman's unbroken personal cranial brilliance is seen in an equivalent, though briefer, familiar axiom: "Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it."
GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2009:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
The airbrushing of models and celebrities =
Get rid of acne or this undesirable blemish.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2009:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Back-to-school sales =
A class book, clothes,...
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, September 2009:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The Mount Wilson Observatory, Pasadena =
Pay to view moon and solar bursts. Neat, eh?
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, December 2009:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
United Nations Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen =
Announcing one nice chance to mend planet's ice-heat grief.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, January 2010:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Conan Christopher O'Brien =
Top honor in his NBC career.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, February 2010:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Dante's Divine Comedy =
Vice, demons, and deity.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, February 2010:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
The Vancouver Winter Olympics =
I've pretty much a nil snow cover.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, March 2010:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Washington man electrocuted by urinating on power line =
Democrat wanting to pee, encountering a burn on his willy.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, May 2010:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
British Petroleum =
Brutish peril to me.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, May 2010:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Spending on the Iraq and Afghanistan wars has surpassed one trillion dollars =
Quite a lot for sparring against a lawless person hidden in harsh sand lands, no?
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, July 2010:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Paul the Prognosticating Octopus was right! =
Spain won a historic cup struggle. Go top that!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, July 2010:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Eternal manly recognition at ~
Arlington National Cemetery.
GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2010:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Computer newbies . =
IneptWebUser.com
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, September 2010:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Blessed Sacrament of the Eucharist =
Celebrate a mass, thus feed on Christ.
GENERAL CATEGORY, November 2010:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Time heals all wounds =
As well it should. Amen!
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2010:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
"Decision Points" by George W. Bush =
One big stupid cowboy signs here.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, November 2010:
eq2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Chilean miner Edison Pena =
A prominence in headlines.
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, November 2010:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Lion! Lion! Burning bright
In dark woods of scary night,
What immortal foot or hand
Could approach you and still stand?
=
Gorilla! Gorilla! Root of man.
Can you do an anagram?
Thick hands which do not shift words,
Turn up blindly, point to birds!
LONG CATEGORY, November 2010:
eq3rd - Rosie Perera with:
Anti-terrorist forces today apprehended several individuals who had planned to smuggle cans of alphabet soup onto airplanes. =
The grave president said (in a press room photo-op), "If any can had blown up on a target, it could have spelled disaster, an end for us all."
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, January 2011:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
The American actor and director Charlie Chaplin =
I cheer lad in hat and iconic tramp character role.
GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2011:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
The right to peaceful assembly =
Public has met together safely.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, February 2011:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
Libyan strongman Muammar Gaddafi =
Aging, absurd, inflammatory madman.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, March 2011:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
George Bush Intercontinental Airport =
Nice big plane-terror target in Houston.
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, March 2011:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
"An earthquake achieves what the law promises but does not in practice maintain - the equality of all men" - Ignazio Silone =
Whether it happens in Haiti, N. Zealand, or a coastline tsunami north of Tokyo, we see all victims became quite equal again.
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, April 2011:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
The famous artist Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci =
Portrait of Mona Lisa is his credited endeavour.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2011:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The Kate Middleton pregnancy rumours =
Could her tummy, so tender, parent a king?
TOPICAL CATEGORY, December 2011:
2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Downed American drone =
Do we dare condemn Iran?
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, December 2011:
3rd - Rosie Perera with:
The Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams =
Top man of British church was a wry liberal one.
ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, January 2012:
1st - Rosie Perera with:
"This plot is the best I have seen all my life
For it raises the flowers and covers my wife"
=
I've always been selfish;
So I'm sad, left to rot.
I never was perfect;
My, this hellfire is hot!
Table of All-Time Placegetters
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