Long Anagram by Dharam Khalsa

OLD ACCOUNTANTS never die; they just lose their balance.

OLD ACTORS never die; they just drop a part.

OLD ACTUARIES never die; they just get broken down by age and sex.

OLD ALCOHOLICS never die; they just lose their spirits.

OLD ARCHERS never die; they just bow and quiver.

OLD ARCHITECTS never die; they just lose their structure.

OLD ARTISTS never die; they just get the brush-off.

OLD BALLOONISTS never die; they just get higher and higher.

OLD BANKERS never die; they just lose their interest.

OLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die; they just get pitched.

OLD BASKETBALL players never die; they just go on dribbling.

OLD BEEKEEPERS never die; they just buzz off.

OLD BINGO PLAYERS never die; they just wait until their number comes up.

OLD BLASTING TECHNICIANS never die; they just lose their spark.

OLD BLONDES never fade; they just dye away.

OLD BOOKKEEPERS never die; they just lose their figures.

OLD BOOTLEGGERS never die; they just keep still.

OLD BOSSES never die, as much as you might want them to!

OLD BOTANISTS never die; they just wither away.

OLD BOWLERS never die; they just end up down in the gutter.

OLD BREAD MANUFACTURERS never die; they just lose their dough.

OLD BRICKLAYERS never die; they just throw in the trowel.

OLD BUREAUCRATS never die; they'll just waste away.

OLD BURGLARS never die; they just steal away.

OLD CARDIAC SURGEONS never die; they just get bypassed.

OLD CARTOONISTS never die; they just go into a state of suspended animation.

OLD CASHIERS never die; they just calmly check out.

OLD CHAUFFEURS never die; they just lose their drive.

OLD CHICKENS never die; they just get fried.

OLD CHINESE COOKS never die; they just wok away.

OLD CLEANING PEOPLE never die; they just kick the bucket.

OLD CLOTHIERS never die; they just lose their shirts.

OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die; they just lose their memories.

OLD COUPON CLIPPERS never die; they just expire.

OLD COWBOYS never die; they are just de-ranged.

OLD DAIRYMEN never die; they just get butter and butter.

OLD DAREDEVILS never die; they just get discouraged.

OLD DEANS never die; they just lose their faculties.

OLD DENTISTS never die; they just get down in the mouth.

OLD DOCTORS never die; they just go to the hospital.

OLD DOCTORS never die; they just lose their patience.

OLD DOUGHBOYS never die; they just get rolled out.

OLD DRIVING INSTRUCTORS never die; they just come to a full stop.

OLD EDITORS never die; they just rewrite the text.

OLD EGYPTIAN TOURISTS never die; they just go see-Nile.

OLD ELECTRICIANS never die; they just can't make connections.

OLD ELECTRICIANS never die; they just lose their contact.

OLD ELECTRICIANS never die; they just re-volt.

OLD ENGINEERS never die; they just lose their bearings.

OLD ENUMERATORS never die; they just lose their census.

OLD EXTERMINATORS never die; they just bug out.

OLD FARMERS never die; they just go to seed.

OLD FIREFIGHTERS never die; they just go to blazes.

OLD FISHERMEN never die; they just smell that way.

OLD FORGERS never die, they just leave no trace.

OLD FROGS never die; but they do croak.

OLD FULLBACKS never die; they just kick off.

OLD GARDENERS never die; they just spade away.

OLD GARDENERS never die; they just push up daisies.

OLD GEOMETRY TEACHERS never die; they just go off on a tangent.

OLD GLASS never dies; it just gets smashed.

OLD GOLFERS never die; they just lose their balls.

OLD GOLFERS never die; they just putter away.

OLD GOSSIPS never die; they just lose their confidants.

OLD GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES never die; they just work as if they had.

OLD GRUNGE ROCKERS never die; they just cut their hair and nobody recognizes them.

OLD GUNS never die; they just get loaded.

OLD HIKERS never die; they just get the boot.

OLD HUNTERS never die; they just run out of ammo.

OLD HOOKERS never die, they just get laid off.

OLD HUMAN CANNONBALLS never die, they just get fired.

OLD HUNTERS never die, they just stay loaded.

OLD HYPOCHONDRIACS never die; they just lose their grippe.

OLD INVESTORS never die; they just roll over.

OLD JANITORS never die; they just get swept up.

OLD JOCKEYS never die; they just go horse.

OLD JUDGES never die; they just lose their appeal.

OLD JOURNALISTS never die; they just get de-pressed.

OLD METEORS never die; they just burn up.

OLD PIANO PLAYERS never die; they just lose their keys

OLD PINBALL PLAYERS never die; they might flip and tilt.

OLD WOMEN'S HAIRDRESSERS never fade; they just curl up and dye.

~

OLD ASTRONAUTS never die; they just go off hitchhiking to other worlds.

OLD AUTO MECHANICS never die; they just retire.

OLD BANJO PLAYERS never die, though they just can no longer resonate.

OLD BARBERS never die; they just become cut-ups.

OLD BICYCLISTS never die; they just go downhill.

OLD BIOLOGISTS never die; they just ferment away.

OLD BLACKJACK DEALERS never die; they just gamble their life away.

OLD BOOKBINDERS never die; they just come unglued.

OLD BOOKSELLERS never die; they just go out of print.

OLD BUBBLY MAJORETTES never die; they just parade away.

OLD BUFF BODYBUILDERS never die; they just stop doing legs.

OLD BUFFALO RESIDENTS never die; they just shuffle off.

OLD CHECK WRITERS never die; they are just backdated.

OLD DATELESS BISEXUALS never die, though they double their chances for that weekly date on Saturday night.

OLD EXECUTIVES never die; they are duly executed.

OLD GASBAG POLITICIANS never die; they just run once too often.

OLD GEEKS never die, but they just cerebrate anyway.

OLD GOTHS never die; they just need less heavy makeup.

OLD JEWELERS never die; they just lose their shine.

OLD JOURNALISTS never die; they just get de-pressed.

OLD JUDO PLAYERS never die; they just flip out.

OLD JUGGLERS never die; they just drop their balls.

OLD KINGS never die; they just get throne away.

OLD LAWN CARE WORKERS never die; they just recede.

OLD LAWYERS never die; they just loose their briefs.

OLD LIBRARIANS never die; they just close the book.

OLD LIMBO DANCERS never die; they just go under.

OLD MAGICIANS never die; they just disappear.

OLD MARINERS never die; they just don't get the drift.

OLD MATH TEACHERS never die; they just disintegrate.

OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die; they just lose their functions.

OLD MUFFLERS never die; they just get exhausted.

OLD MUSICIANS never die; they just decompose.

OLD NITPICKERS never die; they just feel lousy.

OLD NOTRE DAME BOYS never die; they just get hunchbacked.

OLD OFFICE CLERKS never die; they just get de-filed.

OLD OWLS never die; they just don't give a hoot.

OLD PERSONNEL AGENTS never die; they just get hire and hire.

OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die; they just lose their focus.

OLD PIG BREEDERS never die; they just get disgruntled.

OLD PILOTS never die; they just take off.

OLD POKER PLAYERS never die; they just cash in their chips.

OLD POLICEMEN never die; they just cop out.

OLD POSTMEN never die; they just lose the zip.

OLD PRINCIPALS never die; they just lose their faculties.

OLD PRINTERS never die; they're just not the type.

OLD PROCTOLOGISTS never die; they just butt out.

OLD PRODUCERS never die; they just change the plot ending.

OLD PROGRAMMERS never die; they just go to bits.

OLD QUARTERBACKS never die; they just pass away.

OLD RABBIS never die; they just get grey at the temples.

OLD REFRESHMENT VENDORS never die; they just make a concession.

OLD REFRIGERATOR MANUFACTURERS never die; they just lose their cool.

OLD ROCK HOUNDS never die; they just slowly petrify.

OLD ROCKERS never die; they just end up at that royal Buckingham Palace.

OLD SAILORS never die; they just get a little dingy.

OLD SCHOOLS never die; they just lose their principals.

OLD SCHOOLTEACHERS never die; they just lose their class.

OLD SECRETARIES never die; they just get short-handed.

OLD SEERS never die; they just lose their vision.

OLD SEWAGE WORKERS never die; they just waste away.

OLD SOLDIERS never die...just the very unfortunate young ones do.

OLD STATUES never die; they just get busted.

OLD STEELMAKERS never die; they just lose their temper.

OLD STOCKBROKERS never die; they just lose their assets.

OLD STUDENTS never die; they just get de-graded.

OLD SURGEONS never die; they just can't cut it anymore.

OLD TANNERS never die; they just go into hiding.

OLD TIRE INSTALLERS never die; they just go down the tubes.

OLD TRASH HAULERS never die; they just get down in the dumps.

OLD TREE SURGEONS never die; they just pine away.

OLD UPHOLSTERERS never die; they just can't recover.

OLD VAUDEVILLIANS never die; they are just more dramatic.

OLD VETERINARIANS never die; they just go to the dogs.

OLD VIOLINISTS never die; they just become unstrung.

OLD WHEELS never die; they just retire.

OLD WRESTLERS never die; they just lose their grip.

OLD ZOOLOGISTS never die; they just turn roguish and grizzly.

Last:

OLD TRANSCRIPTIONISTS never die, though they get abbreviated today by Electronic Health Records!

[3,480 letters]


This anagram won an Anagrammy in September 2010 (Special Category).


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