901

If GH can stand for P as in hiccough,
And OUGH can stand for O as in dough,
And PHTH can stand for T as in phthisis,
And EIGH can stand for A as in neighbor,
And TTE can stand for T as in gazette,
And EAU can stand for O as in plateau,
The proper way to spell potato is GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU.

In such a grand language as English, with respect,
Adopting a phonetic alphabet is perfect
To decrease haphazard pronunciation,
And increase a standard intonation
Of consonants, assonants, and odd stuff --
A grand offhand thought, though tough.

(Happy that a FISH isn't a GHOTI)

902

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

By Emily Dickinson

That Hyped Myth

Love is something deathless,
The myth that sustains the heart
And enhances the experience of life,
And must never depart,
And is the last ultimate key,
And all the attributes are known;
But, bitter is the timid man,
Who dodges what is shown,
Never acknowledges any bids
To beguile his heart.
Still, pretends to interact;
He is not rich or smart.

903

MY WAY
As sung by Frank Sinatra

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friends, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
But more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each chartered course
Each careful step along the byway
But more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way

I've loved, laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh no, no, not me
I did it my way

For what is a man, what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say all the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows, I took the blows
But I did it my way

Yes, it was my way

MY WIFE'S WAY
An itchy rant by 'caring' Henry

And now, the time is near
When I may lose my Sussex title
Oh dear, I'll say it clear
That noble title is so vital
I've thrived off it and made
A load of dough, and so has my wife
And, oh, kicking the Crown
Has enriched my life!

Regrets, no I've had none
Well, after all, I am the victim
I did what had to be done
I trashed pa publicly, then kicked him
I lost grandpa, then gran
But my own pain, it counted for nought
You say I caused their stress
But that's not my fault

At that iconic interview
In which we shared our truth with you
We told the world, and made a fuss
Threw my family under the bus
They got their dues, I lit a fuse
And did it my way

I've sued most everyone
The British tabloids, our Home Office
And as you rags found out
I am not dim, I'm 'pay me off-ish'!
Ha, ha! I had last laugh
And can I say, in my own fine way
I won, I beat them all
And did it my way

Oh, what is a man, what has he got
If no talent, well... not a lot
So I will reconcile with dad
We need our titles, Meghan's said
The facts attest, my wife knows best
Ah, I'll do it her way!

Yeah, do it her way