What a month in the Anagrammy Awards! Thirty voters (a new record) selected their favourites in 11 categories. Thank you all for the great turnout. Every regular and semi-regular member voted, as well as a good sprinkling of lurkers. As usual there was much excitement in most categories with frequent changes of leader. There were 6 votes which came in in the last 24 hours and there were several Anagrammies won and lost right at the end. So, here we go with the winners. --------------------------------------------------- THE GENERAL CATEGORY Art Day took a good lead in the early days of the contest, but I had a strong run of primary votes in the middle to win comfortably. I get a bit disappointed if I miss out on a win each month, so this one made me very happy, especially has it scored the highest corrected points because of the high number of nominations in this category. This was my 3rd Anagrammy this year, giving me 34 wins in nthe last 2 years and 3rd place in the All-Time List. 1st. Larry Brash with: 42 points Gastroenterologist = I let go torrents o' gas. 2nd. Art Day with: 35 points Acetaminophen = Ache? Pain? Not me! eq 3rd. Jon Gearhart with: 18 points "He required a breathalyser test."= Larry Brash, quiet as he teetered... eq 3rd. Richard Grantham with: 18 points Economic rationalism = Is a commercial notion. --------------------------------------------------- THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY This was fairly close throughout and the leader changed with the last batch of votes. Mey Kraus led comfortably during most of the competition, but Tom had a brilliant run to pick up 12 points in the last 5 votes. Tom has had 5 wins this year, 27 overall to stay a number 4 on the All-Time List. 1st. Tom Myers with: 34 points Who was that masked man, riding on the white horse, with all the silver bullets? = Ah! An absurd kids show! It's The Lone Ranger TV show with the William Tell theme. 2nd. Meyran Kraus with: 30 points Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle's The Hound of the Baskervilles = Lurid story of hero Sherlock and an evil beast he hunts. 3rd. Jaybur with: 27 points Noddy and Big Ears in Toyland = Enid Blyton and gay androids. --------------------------------------------------- THE TOPICAL CATEGORY Another surprise change of leader at the death knell with Jaybur finishing strongly to sneak past Mey. Her 2nd Anagrammy. 1st. Jaybur with: 34 points Saint George's Day = Yes! As I get dragon! 2nd. Meyran Kraus with: 32 points Mayor Rudolph Giuliani said he has prostate cancer = Oh, US Senate chair campaign's hard? Drop it! You are ill! 3rd. Tom Myers with: 20 points Microsoft penalty = Stifle company? Rot! ------------------------------------------------ THE RUDE CATEGORY At one stage, Mey looked like winning 3 categories, but this ended up his only success with a solid win here. Mey continues to share the top of the All-Time List. 1st. Meyran Kraus with: 51 points Genital Warts = Rinse twat, gal! 2nd. Janet Muggeridge with: 39 points Sweaty bollocks = Boy lacks towels. eq 3rd. Jon Gearhart with: 26 points Dr. Alex Comfort, author of "The Joy Of Sex" = X-rated theme: Oral joy--crux of shoot-off. eq 3rd. Richard Grantham with: 26 points Tuna town = Twat [noun]. --------------------------------------------------- THE SPAM CATEGORY Only four in this category with everyone scoring well. I thought I might pull this one off, too, but Richard Grantham's little gem finished powerfully with the last three primary votes. 1st. Richard Grantham with: 43 points These girls are barely legal. = The "girls" are really beagles 2nd. Larry Brash with: 39 points For only $16.00 US dollars, we will send you the material you need to do this legally. = Well, girl, I sent you lolly ($A1600) and you sent me a turd. So, where's the folio, old lady? 3rd. Meyran Kraus with: 38 points HOW TO MAKE MONEY IN THE COMMODITY MARKETS WITHOUT LOSING SLEEP = You're mocking me with 'Hot, New' spam, idiot. Sell that to some monkey. --------------------------------------------------- THE LONG SPAM CATEGORY Richard G always has a burning desire to pick up the Double Spammy each month, but missed out in March. He made amends this month, again finishing strongly with the last 3 primary votes. 1st. Richard Grantham with: 40 points Looking for some hot young girls? [snip] 2nd . Meyran Kraus with: 32 points Here's what our customers say...[snip] 3rd. Jon Gearhart with: 23 points == > * D E A D L I N E * is this Sunday! < == [snip] --------------------------------------------------- THE LONG CATEGORY Another big finish here secured a win for Richard who led most of the way. 1. Richard Grantham with: 54 points My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun; Coral is far more red than her lips' red: [snip] 2. Jon Gearhart with: 44 points Online D'Zigns Specialists In Web Page Graphic Design & Logo Development. [snip] Larry Brash with: 36 points Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists Congress = Electrotherapy and drug fans now ignore Classical Analysis zealots. --------------------------------------------------- THE NAME CATEGORY There was no stopping Richard this month. He was a well-deserved winner here and kept a big lead with a new rendition of Shakespeare. 1st. Richard Grantham with: 36 points William Shakespeare = I'll make a wise phrase. 2nd. Bo Bielefeldt with: 19 points Philadelphia Sixers' guard Allen Iverson = Holds in evil lies, sex, drug paraphernalia. eq 3rd. Tom Myers with: 18 points NASA Administrator Dan Goldin = Idiot and a rat. No Mars landings! eq 3rd. Mick Tully with: 18 points Prime Minister Tony Blair = I'm Britain's Tory peril, men! --------------------------------------------------- THE PLACE NAME CATEGORY "Dr Andre Nolen" led easily until the very last vote and was beaten by one point by the man of the month, Richard Grantham. 1st. Richard Grantham with: 48 points Quarter Pounders with Cheese = It's queer how the crap endures. 2nd. Dr Andre Nolen with: 47 points National Geographic = Hop on a giant glacier. 3rd. Meyran Kraus with: 22 points City of Nazareth, Israel = Christ-zone? A fairy tale! --------------------------------------------------- THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY April 2000 marked the sudden death of one of our regulars, Dan Etter, and it was only fitting that his only nomination won a posthumous Anagrammy. This was Dan's 5th and, sadly, his last Anagrammy Award. He will be missed by us all. 1st. Daniel F Etter with: 36 points Fetal tissue research= I curse heartless fate! Rare fetus sale! Ethics? Sees their fatal cures. Safe, stealthier cures. Her freest casualties. 2nd. Tom Myers with: 32 points Sodom and Gomorrah = Hard-on mood. Orgasm! God roars. Damn homo. Honor God or madams? Gonads, ramrod, homo. or God do so harm man. eq 3rd. Richard Grantham with: 23 points Dawson's Creek = So screw naked! We'd ask censor. Keen ass crowd. eq 3rd.. Kevin Hale with: 23 points Popeye, The sailor man = A sloppy heroine mate Happy elite sea moron Ahoy! Inept male poser A happy, one-time loser Oh my! No pirate, please! --------------------------------------------------- THE SPECIAL CATEGORY Another amazing collection of special anagrams this month and yet another dramatic win to Richard G with 22 points in the last 8 votes. Mike Keith's own finish with 10 votes in the finishing run secured a good second place and his 14th Anagrammy. Richard Brodie was consistent throughout and picked up third and another Anagrammy to keep him at equal leader of the All-time List. Richard Grantham's amazing month racked up 6 wins, a new record. This moved him up to 5th on the All-Time List. Well done! 1st. Richard Grantham with: 39 points Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, [snip] 2nd. Mike Keith with: 27 points Foolish About Windows Carl Sandburg [snip] 3rd. Richard Brodie with: 25 points 83:1 Keep not thou silence, O God: hold not thy peace, and be not still, O God. = Speak thou, Holy One: note and stop the cold, blood-letting genocide. --------------------------------------------------- THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE AWARD FOR THE BEST NON-WINNING ANAGRAM Prior to the start of voting, David Bourke asked me to move his massive Ballad of Redding Gaol to the Rude Category as it was certainly rude. I declined his request as I felt that it would be against the spirit of the rules to put it up against the small rude anagrams. I reassured him that it was a very good chance to win one of the three Angarmmies in the Special Category. It looked very likely to do this until Richard G's and Mike Keith's power finishes bumped David back to 4th. It's amazing size alone would warrant recognition, but with the wit and crudity it also contains, made me decided to award it with my choice in this category. --------------------------------------------------- There being no objections, I have decided that the Anagrammatist of the Year Award given at the Grand Anagrammy be called the Daniel F. Etter Memorial Award. It is calculated by totalling all the corrected points during the year rather than me making a subjective choice. The corrected points are the number of votes per category multiplied by the number of nominations in that category, then divided by the total number of voters that month.