Here are the winners of the Anagrammy Awards for May 2000. 29 voters turned out, one off last's month record of 30 voters. Thanks for another great turnout. Having a good number of voters, like this, makes for a more exciting competition. THE GENERAL CATEGORY This was quite a close event throughout, with at least 5 leaders at different times. Tom Myers hit the front about three quarters of the way in, holding off a late run from Mick Tully. Tom's 28th Anagrammy, and, as always, is Mr Consistency. 1st: Tom Myers with: 30 points Lesbian perversity! = Britney Spears live! 2nd: Mick Tully with: 26 points 'The Daily Record' = Deadly rhetoric. 3rd: Richard Grantham with: 24 points Forensic evidence = Science over fiend. --------------------------------------------------- THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY Most of the way though this category, Don Fortier looked like winning by a small margin over newbie, Whitney Cohen. However, a great finish from another newbie, Brenden Preece decided the contest. 1st: Brenden Preece with: 36 points Pokemon Trading Cards = Kids mad on great PR con. 2nd: Don P Fortier with: 26 points The hit musical is Andrew Lloyd Webber's "CATS" = I beheld a cast hiss, rub, claw, stridently meow. 3rd: Whitney Cohen with: 25 points Weird Al Yankovic = Liven wacky radio. --------------------------------------------------- THE TOPICAL CATEGORY The first three categories were all fairly close. A three way contest delevoped here with Richard G, Janet B and myself. Richard had a stronger finish on the last day. A correction on recounting the votes dropped me back to 3rd. 1st: Richard Grantham with: 27 points The actor Douglas Fairbanks dies. = A big star had fucked a lot o' sirens. 2nd: Janet Burholt with: 25 points The actor Sir John Gielgud dies at ninety-six = O, exit stage: rich airs did suit gentle Johnny. 3rd: Larry Brash with: 22 points Legionella from the Melbourne Aquarium = Queue here for abnormal lung. O, I'm ill, mate. --------------------------------------------------- THE RUDE CATEGORY Was there anyone here who did not give Mey's gem a vote? Just about everyone did. I have told a lot of people at work about it and they all thought it was hilarious. 1st: Meyran Kraus with: 54 points Inflammatory Bowel Disease = My ass blew fire, I moaned a lot. 2nd: David Bourke with: 35 points Clitoral stimulation = "It is all to oil a cunt, Mr!" 3rd: Tom Myers with: 29 points Will U.S. President Clinton be disbarred? = Rude, sordid act. Intern blew Bill's penis. --------------------------------------------------- THE SPAM CATEGORY The spam categories have been so competitive in recent month that I never thought that I would win one again. This was one of better recent efforts and it gave me my 35th award. 1st: Larry Brash with: 42 points You can earn $50,000 or more in the next 90 days sending e-mail. Seem impossible? Read on for details.= Dear friends, I lost all my money, i.e. exceeding $9,500,000, on this one spam. I am one true-born sad-arse. 2nd: Richard Grantham with: 32 points Do ya like watching Lesbians? = See a bint-licking-a-lady show! 3rd:.Tom Myers with: 24 points Naked Lolitas from 7 to 18 years o.! Pictures of Hymen! Defloration performance - MPEG Video! www.ginecology-photo.com = Ripoff! Depraved wimp! Women 71-8 years old lacking of teeth - not young girls. Women are roomy too. Cool if the cops came! --------------------------------------------------- THE LONG SPAM CATEGORY Early on, I thought that I might manage the Double Spammy, but Mey's recipe for success beat my tale of woe. This was Mey's 2nd win this month and gave him his 38th overall award to continue sharing the laed of the All-Time Winners Board. 1st: Meyran Kraus with: 39 points Here's how we prepare our e-mail lists: [snip] 2nd: Larry Brash with: 33 points Dear Friend, Today, I became a Member of one of the most amazing sites on the Net, TargetShop.com. [snip] 3rd: Richard Grantham with: 25 points L.E,G.A,L C,A.B,L.E T,V D,E-S,C.R,A.M,B.L,E.R [snip] --------------------------------------------------- THE LONG CATEGORY How many awards must an anagrammer pick up before you call him a champ? The answer, my friend, is Richard has 24 and so is definitely a champion. 1st: Richard Grantham with: 39 points How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? 2nd: Graham Perkins with: 31 points How many dyslexic persons does it take to change a light bulb? = One holding weighty steps, sixty chums to read a label on back. 3rd: Meyran Kraus with: 20 points You will not hear from us again; as a matter of fact, you do not need to ask us to delete your name from the list since we will not contact you ever again. --------------------------------------------------- THE NAME CATEGORY Another very close one. Mick powered into a good laed at the half way point, but was overhauled by a better finishing Graham Perkins who has made a recent return to alt.anagrams. A nice way to celebrate his return. His 2nd Anagrammy. 1st: Graham Perkins with: 31 points The actress, Jamie Lee Curtis = Er .. here's a clue: majestic tits! 2nd: Mick Tully with: 29 points Field Marshal Montgomery = Doom! This German army fell. 3rd: Whitney Cohen with: 27 points King Arthur Pendragon = Run pagan knight order. --------------------------------------------------- THE PLACE NAME CATEGORY When you look at the result here, it is hard to conceive that this was actually a quite close event until the last 2 days. Richard powered home with 18 poiints in the last 7 votes received. He's still at No. 1 on the All-Time Board. 1st: Richard Brodie with: 53 points The great pyramid of Cheops = My God! Perfect Pharaoh site! 2nd: Ormasyna with: 31 points Slimfast Bars = Trims ass flab. 3rd: Meyran Kraus with: 29 points The big ocean-liner, 'The Titanic' = Hit one iceberg in the Atlantic. --------------------------------------------------- THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY Mick has always been one of the most prolific posters in alt.anagrams, but is not in the winner's circle as much as he deserves. This month, he narrowly missed General and Name categories, but came through here with the goods, in his strongest category. This was his 10 th win and he is among a select group of 6 of us who have won awards every year of the Anagrammies. 1st: Mick Tully with: 41 points Legalise prostitution= It's legislature option. Touts tip: girlie on sale. Log stilettoes up in air! Regulate, list position. Priest: 'Out, legislation!' 2nd: Janet Burholt with: 31 points Temporary tax increase = Exacts monetary repair. A rampant Tory exercise. Extra year's importance. 3rd: Richard Grantham with: 29 points Television advertising = Egotists in na•ve drivel. Invites revolting ideas. Strives to inveigle an id. Invasive, to instil greed. Vivid genitals in stereo! --------------------------------------------------- THE SPECIAL CATEGORY The standard remains high in our Special category. Richard G had only one nomination here this month, as opposed to his usual three. Richard B look very strong early on, his namesake charged in with 12 points in the last 5 votes received. Mike Keith pulled into second for his 15th award. There was a tie for 3rd, between David Bourke and Richard B winning their 10th and 38th awards respectively. 1st: Richard Grantham with: 43 points THE SOLDIER 2nd: Mike Keith with: 21 points Lo as a careful huswife runs to catch, Eq 3rd: David Bourke with: 20 points How Many Richard Granthams does it take to change a light bulb? Eq 3rd: Richard Brodie with: 20 points [Psalm 148] --------------------------------------------------- THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE AWARD FOR BEST NON-WINNING ANAGRAM There were several good ones from which to choose. I went with Don Fortier's Cats anagram which was unlucky to miss out in Entertainment. Don P Fortier with: The hit musical is Andrew Lloyd Webber's "CATS" = I beheld a cast hiss, rub, claw, stridently meow. ---------------------------------------------------