This month's turnout of 32 voters was the best in several months. I was pleased to see some many new members and lurkers dropping in to vote. I think that the new voting form has been well-received, given the positive comments added by several members. Over the two months I hope to come up with a major revision of the voting page, exploring the possility of having one category per page and displaying the anagrams (not just the numbers) on a summary page. This coming month, I have some major family commitments, so it will be 2 months before, it will be up and running. Here are the winners of the August 2001 Anagrammy Awards. ---------------- GENERAL CATEGORY With 13 starters, this category was always going to be close and the leaders changed with every batch of votes received. As most of you know, the first three placegetters win an award in the General Category, but only the winner goes on to the Grand Anagrammies in January 2002. Any of the first four could have won this competition and all led at different times. The last vote push SpursKevin from third to first, with the anagram that I rated the best. Well done, Kevin, on your first Anagrammy. 1st. SpursKevin with: 23 An eating disorder = I'd eat orange rinds. Eq 2nd. Jaybur with: 22 The dental surgeon = ÊNursed teeth along. Eq 2nd. Adrian Hickford with: 22 The General Hospital = He operates all night 4th. Maurice Goddard with: 19 Taser gun = Stun-gear. 5th. Allan Morley with: 18 Electric guitars = Let circuits rage! ---------------- ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY Another category where I picked the winner and another win to a new member, Allan Morley. Allan started strongly from Day One and never looked in trouble. I was happy to have kept within 10 votes of him. 1st. Allan Morley with: 43 William Butler Yeats = Sit, write me a lullaby. 2nd. Larry Brash with: 35 The Ancient Greek Fabulist, Aesop = ÊKeeping the tales of nature basic. 3rd. Jaybur with: 21 Sir Anthony Hopkins in The Silence of the Lambs = Hannibal cooks his men, then, in his steel fry-pot. ---------------- TOPICAL CATEGORY Like the General Category, this was another cliffhanger finish. Janet looked like the most likely winner, Zoran was always in touch and led near the end. The last 2 voters pushed Janet and myself past him for a tied win. Frankly, I thought Christopher Skase would not be well-known outside Australia and I had no idea that this anagram would pick up many votes, let alone win. Two wins for Janet this month, after both of us thought we had little chance. Janet is having a good year with 12 wins so far and 24 all up, putting her just one win behind the great Mike Keith. Eq 1st. Larry Brash with: 28 Christopher Skase = He has sick reports. Eq 1st. Jaybur with: 28 The Code Red computer virus = Drive seemed touch corrupt. 3rd. .Zoran Radislavlevic with: 27 Singer and actress Aaliyah killed in Bahamas plane crash = Alas ! R&B princess has had a charity and a smile like an angel. ---------------- RUDE CATEGORY This month's Rude Category had a very high standard and was a well fought competition. David started strongly, but a good run on Day Three gave Adrian the lead which he kept comfortably to the end. 1st. Adrian Hickford with: 43 So get your fingers out. Your tongue goes first. 2nd. David Bourke with: 36 Erectile dysfunction = Sorely cunt-deficient. Eq 3rd. Richard Grantham with: 26 Sexual relations = Latex on, as is rule. Eq 3rd. Spurs Kevin with: 26 The lesbian couple ~ Êplace tube in holes. ---------------- SPAM CATEGORY Long spamagrams still have the advantage here, provided they are well-written and funny as these were. David had a big lead throughout the competition until the last day, when a fast-finishing Adrian almost caught him. I was happy with my distant third place 1st. David Bourke with: 42 Your Dating Life Might Be Great Right Now, But What If It Could Be Even Better?! [snip] 2nd. Adrian Hickford with: 41 Aren't you sick and tired of having to cope with side-effects from drugs like viagra and than having to take more drugs to counter the side-effects! [snip] 3rd. Larry Brash with: 31 Anybody wanna read their e-mail and get paid for it? [snip] ---------------- LONG CATEGORY Only five in Long this month and only three of them were in the votes. David had a solid lead most of the way and fought off a strong finish from Jaybur to win by just 2 points. 1st. David Bourke with: 54 An Essex girl is crossing the road, when she gets hit by an XR3i. [snip] 2nd. Jaybur with: 52 Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; [snip] 3rd. Adrian Hickford with: 43 Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty - a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture. [snip] ---------------- PEOPLE'S NAME CATEGORY It was a big field of twelve starters, and no one anagram stood out from the pack. Predictably then, it was a close contest with David Green the early leader. Late votes had a strong influence here, lifting Wayne Baisley and Walter Newboldt into equal first place. This is Wayne's second win this year and fifth ever. A special congratulations to Walter on his first Anagrammy. I know I take the piss out of you from time to time, Walter, but well done, mate! Eq 1st. Wayne Baisley with: 26 William Sherman = I'm "War is Hell" man. Eq 1st. Walter Newboldt with: 26 Sinead O'Connor = Croon and noise 3rd. .David A. Green with: 23 The late Lord Longford (Francis Aungier Pakenham) = A gallant prison reformer - and he loathed fucking! ---------------- OTHER NAME CATEGORY There are those who disagree with self-nomming, but when a good anagram is overlooked hidden at the bottom of a post, I think it is reasonable to self-nom it. This is not the first time one of my self-noms has won this category (see June 2000). SpursKevin gave me a run for my money towards the end of the contest, narrowing the gap to 4 points. This was my 11th win this year and 59th win over the last three and a half years. 1st. Larry Brash with: 45 United States of America = Mac and Fries Eat-out Site. 2nd. Spurs Kevin with: 41 The pen is mightier than the sword = The Times. Power in the right hands. 3rd. Jaybur with: 26 The Renault Espace = Please tune the car. ---------------- SPECIAL CATEGORY This was a quiet month for this year's leaders, with Mey being away for some of the time and Richard Grantham concentrating on this category. David and Richard started closely, but Richard polled very strongly in the second half and won by a commanding margin. Richard has had 27 wins this year and 83 altogether. David had a strong month with 3 wins, giving him a dozen this year and 30 on the All-Time Table. Richard Brodie's win was his third this year and 45th all up. 1st. Richard Grantham with: 63 A selection of poems by Wendy Cope. [snip] 2nd. David Bourke with: 41 Bourke's Parakeet Facts [snip] 3rd. Richard Brodie with: 28 Gringotts Equity [snip] ---------------- AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE AWARD FOR THE BEST NON-WINNING ANAGRAM. Normally this is a hard choice, but not this month. The one I chose lost by just one point, was beautifully written, very witty and had a hilarious punchline. It is worth a reread: Adrian Hickford with: [snip the spam about herbal aphrodisiacs. Now, read on...... ] = As Veronica clasped Pat's engorged phallus between her restless, rapid fingers and bent over to start to lick the pulsating mass, she soon realised her lover's penis seemed more supple than normal; it appeared to have a peculiar life of it's own, seeking her busy tongue as it moved about, rather than Veronica taking authority. She tried not to bite the beast expanding in her mouth, as Veronica mumbled fretfully: "Pat, summat's different, love." Pat moaned, yet heard nothing. The pill he'd adventurously taken earlier that afternoon was beginning to supply a steady stream of drugs, a very complex chemical cocktail into his shrinking brain. 'Complex', as it had said on the opaque bottle. Veronica continued to tease her partner's veiny head, unaware of the snot oozing from his nose. As Pat climaxed, syrupy semen spurted, burst out forcefully from his recently released tumescence, apparently out of control, and sprayed against the bedroom's ceiling. Pat's powerless body toppled on to the bed, his foamy Cyclopean organ a vertical column. Veronica's eyes followed the line of Pat's knotty stump and read there, in revolting creamy script: "Abracadabra! Yes! A fuck to die for." Veronica's dreadful screams could be heard miles away... This gave Adrian three wins this month, eight for the year, which jumps him to 15th on the All Time Table in a mere five months