The Special Category

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An optional explanation about the anagram in green, the subject is in black, the anagram is in red.

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901

LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS
by
The Beatles

Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,
And she's gone.

{REFRAIN}
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Ah... Ah...

Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain
Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies,
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers,
That grow so incredibly high.
Newspaper taxis appear on the shore,
Waiting to take you away.
Climb in the back with your head in the clouds,
And you're gone.

{REFRAIN}
Lucy in the sky with diamonds ...
Ah ... Ah ...

Picture yourself on a train in a station,
With plasticine porters with looking glass ties,
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile,
The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

{REFRAIN}
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Lucy in the sky with diamonds
Ah... Ah...

BROKEN GLASSES

Picture yourself there outside the Dakota,
With Yoko, in west-side Manhattan, N.Y,
Suddenly someone appears from the shadows,
The man with the far-away eyes.

In this weird moment, the world stands quite still,
Everything's drifting away,
I look at the man who's extending his hand ...
With a gun.

{REFRAIN}
Is this really how I will die?
Is this really how I will die?
Is this really how I will die?

Follows behind you, cries out, "Mr Lennon!"
You look back, his gun kicks, you feel burning pain,
Somebody screams as you drop to the sidewalk;
You pray he won't shoot you again.
Cop-car with siren arrives on the scene,
Waiting to take you away,
Lie in the back while your life drips away,
Then you're gone...

{REFRAIN}
Is this truly how I shall die? ...

Picture yourself looking down on a sidewalk,
At shattered, red spectacles lying close by,
Yoko prays, clasping your head to her breast while
The man reads The Catcher In The Rye.

+ + +

ON DECEMBER EIGHTH, NINETEEN EIGHTY, SOLITARY PSYCHOPATH MARK DAVID CHAPMAN SNUFFED OUT 'MR. LENNON'.


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902

[This "Double Feature" (a song and a poem each entitled "THE END OF THE WORLD") contains a hidden "Double Feature": The last two letters of the anagram's rhymes consecutively spell out the title twice, i.e. TH-EE-ND-OF-TH-EW-OR-LD.]

THE END OF THE WORLD

Why does the sun go on shining
Why does the sea rush to shore
Don't they know it's the end of the world
'Cause you don't love me any more

Why do the birds go on singing
Why do the stars glow above
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when I lost your love

I wake up in the morning and I wonder
Why everything's the same as it was
I can't understand, no, I can't understand
How life goes on the way it does

Why does my heart go on beating
Why do these eyes of mine cry
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when you said goodbye

THE END OF THE WORLD

As I brave the notion hiding beneath,
I watch the gnashing of youth's teeth.
Strengthened, you show consent, agree
To every new boy who's free.

Soon dishonesty takes my hand;
Suddenly, it's time you understand.
You've become snooty, aloof!
Do you need more twisted proof?

Does shadowy dignity have worth?
Oh, how the wind destroyed the mirth,
The intended thousands we grew
In the wintry gardens we knew.

Nightgowns down on the floor,
Twoness waylayed out the door...
Like destined highwaymen on hold,
Shoddily waking in the snowy cold.


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903

In the ice sculpture
reflected bar mitzvah guests
nosh on chopped liver

Brazen circumcision!
Halved penis!...Theft, eh?
Let's get proved help - cut ours!


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904

Good friend for Jesus sake forbeare,
To dig the dust enclosed here.
Blessed be the man that spares these stones,
And cursed be he that moves my bones.

Beneath these stones, see Shakespeare's bed
Our Stratford bard rested his head
Scribed on the uneven tomb
See faceless judgment of ghostly doom.


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905

A lady goes on a safari, taking her aged poodle, Timmy, along for company.

One day Timmy is chasing butterflies and soon discovers he's lost. Roaming around, he sees a lion heading quickly in his direction, looking for lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Hell! I am in deep poo!" Then, noticing some bones on the ground, he begins to chew them with his back to the lion. Just as the cat is about to leap, Timmy says, "Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder if there are any more around?"

Hearing this, the cat halts in mid-strike and slinks away into the trees saying, "Phew! "That was close! That old dog nearly had me to eat!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had seen everything, figures he can put his knowledge to use and trade it for protection. He heads off after the lion, but the poodle sees him and figures something must be up. The monkey catches up with the lion, tells all and strikes a deal.

The lion is furious at being fooled and replies, "Hop on my back, and just see what happens to that darn poodle!"

Timmy sees the lion coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What'll I do now?" But instead of leaving, he sits with his back to them, pretending he hasn't seen them, and just when they are close enough to hear, he says.

"Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!"

Leo the lion was drinking from a stream with his bottom in the air, just as Coco, a baboon, was passing by. From the monkey's viewpoint, the lion looked like Leonora (a lioness who had acquired a certain reputation for having loose morals) so the cheeky monkey crept up noiselessly from behind, intent on a bit of slap and tickle.

On feeling the monkey's sudden touch, the startled lion let out an almighty roar, and the monkey, now realising his mistake, took off like greased lightning, running goggle-eyed, through the jungle with the lion in hot pursuit.

The lion was gaining on Coco by the minute, and the monkey was just resigning himself to the possibility of a gruesome fate at the paws of his assassin, when he suddenly came across a hunter's camp.

Without further ado, the monkey dashed into the camp, donned a safari suit, whipped on a pith helmet, then nimbly threw himself into a chair, grabbed a copy of The Times and hid behind it as though he was reading.

The lion bounded into the clearing and screeched to a halt. As soon as the dust had settled, he asked, "Hey man, have you seen a monkey come dashing past here?"

"What monkey is this?" said Coco, "not the one that goosed the lion down by the stream?"

"Oh hell," said the lion, "don't tell me it's in the newspapers already."


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906

Get Here

You can reach me by railway,
You can reach me by trailway,
You can reach me on an airplane,
You can reach me with your mind.
You can reach me by caravan,
Cross the desert like an Arab man,
I don't care how you get here,
Just get here if you can.

You can reach me by sail boat,
Climb a tree and swing rope-to-rope,
Take a sled and slide down the slope,
Into these arms of mine.
You can jump on a speedy colt,
Cross the border in a blaze of hope,
I don't care how you get here,
Just get here if you can.

There are hills and mountains between us,
Always something to get over,
If I had my way, surely you would be closer,
I need you closer.

You can windsurf into my life,
Take me up on a carpet ride,
You can make it in a big balloon,
But you better make it soon.
You can reach me by caravan,
Cross the desert like an Arab man,
I don't care how you get here,
Just get here if you can,
I don't care how you get here,
Just get here if you can.

Yo, Bush! Get elsewhere!

You can ride on your cowboy's nag,
Leave the White House in an E-Type Jag,
Career from an ejector seat,
Launch a rocket to the moon.
Bugger-off on a unicycle,
Burn rubber with Schumacher. (Michael).
Sure don't care how you do it
- You journey far away, and soon.

Rise to the sky in a chopper,
Bounce home sweet home on a Spacehopper,
A flying saucer, maybe a steer,
Cherokee Jeep, commute by subway train.
You can sit on any camel,
Truck off in ten-wheel Scammell,
I don't really give a damn,
Retire...and don't come back again!

Don't you misunderestimate me,
Because you truly outstayed your welcome,
Yessirree! Bye-bye, you stupid cretin!

In a wheelchair, by seafreight,
Horizontal in a wooden crate,
On a donkey, a racehorse, a tram,
A yacht, a Greyhound bus, a Transit van.
A yellow cab, an elephant ride,
A Harley Heritage Electra-Glide.
Man, I don't care how you do it,
- I mean, just GO! (Read this...if you can).