901

STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT
by
Frank Sinatra

Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wond'ring in the night
What were the chances we'd be sharing love
Before the night was through.

Something in your eyes was so inviting,
Something in your smile was so exciting,
Something in my heart,
Told me I must have you.

Strangers in the night, two lonely people
We were strangers in the night
Up to the moment
When we said our first hello.
Little did we know
Love was just a glance away,
A warm embracing dance away and -

Ever since that night we've been together.
Lovers at first sight, in love forever.
It turned out so right,
For strangers in the night.

Love was just a glance away,
A warm embracing dance away -

Ever since that night we've been together.
Lovers at first sight, in love forever.
It turned out so right,
For strangers in the night.

Dooby dooby doo
doo doo dee la la
da da da da da

STRANGER ON MY FLIGHT
(A Terror Intention In A Toilet?)

Stranger on my flight, weird nervy glances,
Scanning left and right,
What were the chances he'd explode a bomb
Afore the flight was through?

Something in my brain was darned suspicious,
Something in his eyes was darned malicious,
Sweating constantly,
Just like a whore in church.

Stranger on my flight, lone, introverted,
Sitting over on my right,
And that next moment as he
Went off to the loo,
I viewed his velvet shoes,
Were the heels trigger devices?
What's the odds we won't survive this?

Nagging in my head, a voice unnerving
Said, 'We'll soon be dead, everyone burning,
Sure as eggs are eggs,
We're gonna get bloodshed.'

Death was but a jot away
An evil terror plot away.

One thing niggled me ... I knew that guy! Who-
Ever can it be? Then recognition
Hit with a fast woosh!
It was ...
That git George Bush!

Terror? Var na na!
Terror, ta ta ta!

902

MacARTHUR PARK
Sung by Richard Harris
Lyrics and music by Jimmy Webb

Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed,
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down...
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds, like tender babies in your hands
And the old men playing checkers by the trees

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down...
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one.

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky.
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
I'll be thinking of you
And wondering why.

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down...
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh NO!!

Originally written as an intended oratorio (cantata?) indifferently turned down by The Association, "MacArthur Park" was first recorded by a theatrically insentient, king-like Richard Harris on his otherwise not entertaining album "A Tramp Shining."

Throughout the recording, the inebriate can be heard flakily singing the inappropriate possessive form, "MacArthur's Park." (Will they know? Tee-hee! Headache recollection: The intelligently skilled, thorough, even lenient Webb said he kept tweaking him during re-takes, but eventually walked away, miffed, when the non-kowtowing fellow would not follow and willingly sing the right words. Tee-hee!)

More than seven minutes in length, with a long, lively orchestral break, the work is labelled after a park in Los Angeles, California.

The work's lyrics, which contain the memorable line "Someone left the cake out in the rain," are more symbolic than descriptive, mellifluently beginning as a poem about a kindled lifelong love, then evolving into a wallowing lover's lament. (Here's a link worth bookmarking: Talkative English poet W. H. Auden jokingly said, "My face looks like a wedding-cake left out in the rain.")

An international hit (yes, twentyfold nationwide too!), "MacArthur Park" is elaborate for a pop song. The work is divided into four themes: The first involves the verses and chorus; the second is a slow grieving melody; the third is a sweetened rock-like instrumental with the theme chords climbing diatonically; and the fourth is similar to the initial theme. The finale ends with a phrase like the opening hook.

And if you were to ask opinionative teetotal me? I feel it's infantile offal, all effete hogwash!

903

THE ELEPHANT
Hilaire Belloc

When people call this beast to mind,
They marvel more and more
At such a little tail behind,
So large a trunk before.

THE DONKEY
G.K. Chesterton

When fishes flew and forests walked
And figs grew upon thorn,
Some moment when the moon was blood
Then surely I was born;

With monstrous head and sickening cry
And ears like errant wings,
The devil's walking parody
On all four-footed things.

The tattered outlaw of the earth,
Of ancient crooked will;
Starve, scourge, deride me: I am dumb,
I keep my secret still.

Fools! For I also had my hour;
One far fierce hour and sweet:
There was a shout about my ears,
And palms before my feet.

THE REPUBLICAN / THE DEMOCRAT

The Republican and a Democrat,
Will clash, of the coming Fall;
Who's taking over the U.S.,
From some ape numbskull with a drawl?

There's the honored fine war hero's
Duteous, soldierly campaign,
Of the obsolete old fogey;
Furrowed, wrinkled, stiff McCain!

We observed, at the start:
Oh, she was sparklin'! She was glintin'!
But soon faded...for she regressed,
To lofty harridan, Ms. Clinton!

There's the ebony redeemer,
Full of utterly memorable drama.
History in the making!
The sweet-talking underdog, Obama!

For key political assessment,
We deserve a leader, not a monkey.
We want a lion in the White House!
Not an elephant or donkey!

904

THE POPE AND THE RABBI

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a great outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal.

He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a "silent" debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that his adversary was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

"Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

"I pulled out the wine and water to show that God absolves us from all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.

"He bested me at every move and I could not continue."

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.

"I haven't a clue," the rabbi said. "First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.

"Then he told me that all the country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here."

"And then what?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said the rabbi. "He took out his lunch so I took out mine.

THE POPE AND FRANK PERDUE

Frank Perdue went to meet the Pope for an audience, and while having the papal blessing bestowed upon him, he whispered, "Oh, Your Eminence, just between we two, do I have a whoopee deal for you! If you just change the words to The Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread...' to 'give us this day our daily chicken...' we'll donate five hundred thousand dollars to the Church! Phenomenal, eh?"

The Pope replied, "That is indeed generous, but impossible. The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and that may not be changed. The matter is not negotiable".

"Ok then," rejoined Frank, "We do appreciate the position, so we are prepared to donate a mammoth one million dollars to the Church if you change the words to The Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread...' to 'give us this day our daily chicken...'"

Again the Pope admitted, "That is most benevolent. However, The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and must not be changed".

"Ooh, but Your Eminence! Just between us - I bet it's a temptation!" heehawed Frank, jabbing the air. "Ok - how about a billion! Admit it, that is a good bid! It's the highest we can go."

The Pope smiled as he stated, "Just between us, I have to repeat that the matter is not negotiable. Oh, I heed not the heathen money. Keep it! The Faith shall withstand the highest temptation."

Frank's jaw dropped, and he appealed to the Pope, "Oh, no, we are not heathens! To prove it, we will donate a phenomenal five billion dollars if you will change the words to the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread...' to 'give us this day our daily chicken...' That is as high as we go. I'll await the papal decision." With that, he bowed and withdrew from the chamber.

The next day the Pope met with the College of Cardinals. "I have some good news, and I have some bad news," he told them. "The good news is that the Church has just been donated five billion dollars ..."

There was a heated babbling from the Cardinals. "Then, what is the bad news?" one of them entreated.

The bad news," replied the Pope, "is that we are losing The Wonderbread Account"

905

There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God I know I'm one

My mother was a tailor
Sewed my new blue jeans
My father was gambling man
Down in New Orleans

Now the only thing a gambler needs
Is a suitcase and a trunk
And the only time he'll be satisfied
Is when he's all a-drunk

Oh mother, tell your children
Not to do what I have done
Spend your lives in sin and misery
In the house of the Rising Sun

Well I've got one foot on the platform
The other foot on the train
I'm going back to New Orleans
To wear that ball and chain

Well there is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God I know I'm one

There is no house in New Orleans
They named the Rising Sun.
O, home ruined and no girls!
If playboy back, await to none.

My mother 'gewgaw' - a slut
(No one wears her jeans)
Flabby malt-man my dad,
I swim in new New Orleans.

Only thing inebriated needs -
Nice malt and whiskey glass,
He 'fluent' when he harassed kids -
Brutal emotional nut... Alas!

Oh, parents, hold in! Your honeys!
Don't smite them, ward is done.
Your children alive; not in the evil
House of the Rising Sun.

That pond - town New Orleans - thrall!
We fight hotfoot. Gone,never back!
'NO!' to that home of illegal,
To inebriate or to maniac.

There is no house in New Orleans
They named the Rising Sun.
Heal it! Only power of beauty wins!
Look, bad and criminal gone!