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GORDON IN TROUBLE
Based on THE RAILWAY SERIES by The Rev. W. Awdry
One morning, Thomas was being cleaned when Gordon arrived, covered in mud. "Hello, Gordon," said Thomas. "You need a wash."
"I don't have time," said Gordon. "Anyway, I'm not a fussy little engine like you." And he puffed away.
James was at the next station. He had just been cleaned. "Come on, Gordon," said his Driver. "Time for a wash. It'll make you feel better."
"Pah!" said Gordon, and he let off steam. Mud flew everywhere, and James was dirty again. "You are a naughty engine," said Gordon's Driver.
Gordon finished his journey and steamed into the Big Station. He was still covered in mud.
When the Fat Controller saw him, he was cross. "You can't pull the train like that! James will have to do it," he said.
At last, Gordon was getting a wash. He was so grubby that it took lots of men to clean him. "Mind my eyes," he moaned.
James was on his way to pull the Express. "Be careful," warned Gordon, "The hills are slippery."
The sea brings strong winds to the Island, so it makes it hard for the engines to climb Gordon's Hill. Today, there were wet leaves on the line as well.
As James came up to the Hill, he went faster and faster. "I can do it. I can do it," he puffed. But halfway up, he was not so sure.
His wheels began to slip on the leaves. "Help!" whistled James, as he started slipping back down the Hill.
Gordon saw everything. "I'm coming to help," he called. "I'll push from behind." Together, they reached the top, safe and sound.
When they arrived at the station, James asked the Fat Controller, "Please, Sir, can Gordon pull the coaches again now?"
"Only if you wash, Gordon, said the Fat Controller, firmly. "Thank you, Sir. I promise I will," smiled Gordon.
One day, a jowly fellow named Gordon "Glass-Eye" McHaggis awoke to find that he was Prime Minister.
So, Gordon had his yellow teeth fixed. As he beamed, he sold all the State gold reserves for ten shillings, and he raided pension funds to pay for the idle to sit on their backsides all day, and for everyone in the whole world to come and live high-on-the-hog in the "chavvy" ghettoes of Britain.
Schools deteriorated...hospitals were shut, although the N.H.S. was awash with "tsars" and managers.
The Fat Controller, Michael Martin, had to step down, for spending hundreds of thousands of pounds concealing naughty MPs' lavish expenses.
A jolly Gordon appeared on YouTube, grinning away like a maniac. Oh, how Gordon jealously, shamelessly sucked-up to President Obamessiah!
Labour suffered their worst election results in a hundred years. Why, somehow even Wales went blue! Many disloyal Ministers left like rats from a sinking ship. Following this, Gordon slammed his big clunking fist on his office table, then threw a telephone across the room.
"Can I stay in power?" asked Gordon, dejectedly. "Why, only if we have that Lisbon Treaty referendum that you promised us." said the electorate.
Anglophobe Gordon, laughing away, just said "No!". But nationwide, there were riots in the streets, and Her Majesty at last dissolved Parliament. Ultimately, there was a drawn-out General Election, and that nice dimwit David "Call Me Dave" Cameron became new Prime Minister with a mammoth majority, while the defeated Gordon was beheaded, and his ghastly New Labour thieving weasels were never heard of again. With that, there was joy and jubilation!