The Special Category

Anagrammy Awards > Voting Page - Special Category

An optional explanation about the anagram in green, the subject is in black, the anagram is in red.

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Elton John

It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

Elton John

It's a teeny bit eerie, how I'm sixty-three,
Yet I want a family for David 'n' me,
I've got lots of dough, boy I've earned a few quid,
Yet what I need now is one designer kid.

So I found us some donors, with eggs and with sperm,
I got this surrogate mother, she bore it full term,
Delivered it Yuletide, it was quite a plus!
The gift is this fine boy - the gift is for us.

Now we can tell everyone, this is our cute son,
It may shock the public, but now it is done,
I hope they won't mind,
I hope they won't mind, and they won't cause a fuss,
This baby is Life's tiny gift unto us.

I'll need to change nappies... yet, maybe I won't,
A nanny's more versed in the do's and the don'ts,
Thank you celebs, you've been tweeting you're thrilled,
Can you Beckhams help out with your parenting skills?!

I've a whole US tour booked, feel over the moon!
Oh, it'll be huge fun, I'm going quite soon,
Yes, without the boy, hell, he won't be in tow;
Hey, a son is for Christmas, not for life, you know!

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[It's no Krausian poem, but it's my first try, and I think it worked out well. The anagram text uncovers the true artist of Thriller, Rod Temperton, in an acronym spelling out ROD TEMPERTON SONG.]

By Michael Jackson

Darkness flows across the land.
The midnight hour is close at hand.
Creatures crawl in search of blood,
To terrorize y'alls neighborhood.
And whosoever shall be found
Without a soul for getting down,
Must stand and face the hounds of hell,
And rot inside a corpse's shell.
The foulest stench is in the air.
The funk of forty-thousand years,
And grisly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom.
And though you fight to stay alive,
Your body starts to shiver,
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the THRILLER.

By Me

Ruthless society bothers me,
Orderless, oh, I shall agree.
Disgracefully absurd and dumb,
They're shoving us to a chamber of glum.
Each day's an effort to shorten trees.
Millions have Foolish Disease!
Please hold color in your hands.
Everyone misunderstands!
Reflect on then; construct now,
Tomorrow's different; ask how.
Oh, efforts eventually hold alright,
National flavor's outdoor tonight!
So thorough a tradition; friendly, rich,
Oh, flush by; call firmly, "It's no itch!"
Now, a tattoo of antitrust! Who's the rat?
GEORGE BUSH the droll knocker, has crazied that!

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A girl asks her boyfriend Graham to come over Friday night to meet her parents and to have dinner with them.

Since it is such a momentous event, the girl announces to him that, after dinner, she would like to go out somewhere romantic and make love for the first time.

Graham is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he goes to the pharmacy to buy some condoms.

He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps him for about an hour, telling the boy everything there is to know about condoms and about sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks Graham how many condoms he would like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy settles on the family size because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, Graham turns up at the girl's parents' house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Ooh, I'm so excited about you meeting my parents,' she says; 'come in!'

Graham goes in and is led to the dinner table where the girl's parents are already seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. About a minute passes and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head bowed.

Ten minutes pass and still no movement from him.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girl leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were so religious.'

The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

Three McDonald's trade Executives are captured by tribesmen deep in an Amazon rainforest and taken to their chief.

"You very bad men!" says the chief, "destroy our forests. You shall be punished."

The 3 men look at each other apprehensively.

"You!" says the chief, pointing aggressively at the first man. "I let you choose. Death... or bum-bum!"

"I don't want to die!" shrieks the quaking man. "I don't know what this bum-bum is, but I'll take it!"

With that, 10 of the biggest, most strapping warriors grab the helpless man, throw him over a log and continue to roger him mercilessly for half-an-hour until he is a sad, bloodied wreck, then drag him away.

The chief looks at the second McDonald's man and says, "I give you same choice as him. Death or bum-bum!"

"Heck, what you did to my pal was horrific," gasps the distressed man, "but... I don't want to die either. I shall take bum-bum."

With that, 20 eager, strapping warriors grab the man, throw him over the same log, and roger him in the same, senselessly appalling manner for an hour, leaving him in a worse state than the first man.

The chief then turns to the last exec, who is the most senior of the three, and before he can speak, the man spits defiantly, "Kiss my ass! I will not experience the same sordid indignity as those spineless idiots! Death before dishonor, say I! Yes... I choose death!"

At that, a great cheer goes up from the tribe as they all roar as one: "Hooray! Death by bum-bum!"

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[After being lost at sea for almost two years, the Aviatrix Amelia Mary Earhart was finally declared legally dead in JANUARY 1939. The subject is a poem by Dylan Thomas; and the similarly-titled anagram, which contains an acrostic of her name, is dedicated to her memory.]

by Dylan Thomas

Because the pleasure-bird whistles after the hot wires,
Shall the blind horse sing sweeter?
Convenient bird and beast lie lodged to suffer
The supper and knives of a mood.
In the sniffed and poured snow on the tip of the tongue of the year
That clouts the spittle like bubbles with broken rooms,
An enamoured man alone by the twigs of his eyes, two fires,
Camped in the drug-white shower of nerves and food,
Savours the lick of the times through a deadly wood of hair
In a wind that plucked a goose,
Nor ever, as the wild tongue breaks its tombs,
Rounds to look at the red, wagged root.
Because there stands, one story out of the bum city,
That frozen wife whose juices drift like a fixed sea
Secretly in statuary,
Shall I, struck on the hot and rocking street,
Not spin to stare at an old year
Toppling and burning in the muddle of towers and galleries
Like the mauled pictures of boys?
The salt person and blasted place
I furnish with the meat of a fable.
If the dead starve, their stomachs turn to tumble
An upright man in the antipodes
Or spray-based and rock-chested sea:
Over the past table I repeat this present grace.


Azure as the sky and the sea on this journey;
Vast like the never-ending watery landscape.
I plunge from the open clouds
And drift on the cerulean ocean.
Truths to be swept about tirelessly.
Receding from the dishonoured purpose in life
I look beyond the traitorous, the white-crested waves.
X to mark that stark historian's spot too.
As the spray of the salty water startles
My mind sinks, buffeted by death's blowing wind,
Ebbing, falling, trusting in no one.
Lost in the submerged steel soul of a tattered Lockheed Electra
I stutter and take the unfathomable tide with someone,
A blue bottomless void of cold brine awaits me.
My kind heart to trouble me
As I suffer like a piece of cork bobbing up and down to the sound of the
Rough damp weather's growl.
Yesterday, I saw fish and dolphin in flight;
Even withstood the splash of tortured afterthoughts.
A sunset of copper-colored shafts replaces the hope of dawn ahead,
Reminding me of the breath-stopping dark that threatens.
Howland Island fades in the distance.
Adieu, as the desperate bubbles rise to the surface,
Rescuers abandon their search.
The two-year vigil is over.

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two poems by e.e. cummings

now all the fingers of this tree (darling) have

now all the fingers of this tree (darling) have
hands, and all the hands have people; and
more each particular person is (my love)
alive than every world can understand

now you are and i am now and we're
a mystery which will never happen again,
a miracle which has never happened before ---
and shining this our now must come to then

our then shall be some darkness during which
fingers are without hands; and i have no
you: and all trees are (any more than each
leafless) its silent in forevering snow

-- but never fear (my own, my beautiful
my blossoming) for also then's until

luminous tendril of celestial wish

luminous tendril of celestial wish

(whying diminutive bright deathlessness
to these my not themselves believing eyes
adventuring, enormous nowhere from)

querying affirmation; virginal

immediacy of precision:more
and perfectly more most ethereal
silence through twilight's mystery made flesh-

dreamslender exquisite white firstful flame

-new moon! as (by the miracle of your
sweet innocence refuted) clumsy some
dull cowardice called a world vanishes,

teach disappearing also me the keen
illimitable secret of begin

i'll write my poem all in small-letter mode, which brags 'ahem, i am humble', and
hopefully, might make as much sense as these worthy poems:

squirrel finding acorns high in an oak to signal winter's imminent arrival
bearing the burden with dedication to his family and species survival
yet, equal reverence (honey) shared for daughter, son, and wife
i admire the selfless grace which affirms loyalty and drive for life

fruit trees blooming anew (honey) to announce spring's annual arrival
with their unreserved dedication to all humanity's survival
with uncomplaining commitment to man's wholesome health
never a miserly thought to their own economy, finance or wealth

wildflower meadows maturing (honey) to welcome summer's arrival
seemingly concerned for newborn wildlife's survival
embellished in fresh honey-yellow perfection for all to see
supplying the sweetness to nourish finch, insect and bee

fall foliage descending to announce (honey) autumn's dismal grey arrival
hewn hedge leaves, hay, weeds decompose to enable hibernators' survival
not unaware of dependency with the exhausted defenseless beasts
securely asleep underneath them dreaming of their springtime feasts

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A thorough list of ten lively masterworks nominated for the Best Picture Academy Award:

10. Winter's Bone: A muddled mark, though it's totally worthy of a fair reverence it's come past.

9. Toy Story 3: Would remarkable animation captivate me? Render how the stuff's so great, child!

8. The Fighter: Stood around a pressed elementary combat; it actually works in favor with me.

7. The Kids Are All Right: Today, comfort was best employed in attractive new humor. No fears, watch it!

6. True Grit: Standard cowboy film. Heavy framework, plus that theater second-aisle emotion. =

5. Black Swan: The R-rated films are too many, however, a precious statue entry might do. Fold it?

4. 127 Hours: How far Danny Boyle pledges uttermost theoretical drama-craft! No mistake, view it!

3. Inception: Totally massive breakthrough twentyfold. The famous director "dreams" aware!

2. The Social Network: Primarily featured a witty man's valor become sodden...? The star fought!

1. The King's Speech: May the best film win! Rates to award. No dratted formula or foul. Clarity!

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One day, Andy was playing with his toys. The evil One-Eyed Bart was robbing a bank! What could happen?

Sheriff Woody comes to the rescue! "Reach for the sky!" One-Eyed Bart goes to jail and gets attacked by Andy's baby sister, Molly. Andy goes on to play with Woody downstairs.

But something's wrong. Andy is moving to a new house. His birthday party also happens to be about now. He puts his cowboy friend in his bedroom.

He starts to blink. He's alive! Woody calls up a staff meeting, because Andy will get many presents; TOYS. And the moving journey will be difficult. So he orders Sarge and the other Bucket o' Soldiers to carry a walkie-talkie over to Andy's birthday party.

At first, the presents are boring, a lunchbox, bedsheets, etc. However, Andy's mom has a surprise present in a closet. Sarge tries to make out what it is, but Rex the dinosaur gets impatient and knocks the batteries from the walkie-talkie. Everyone fumbles to put them back, but children come into the room, so the toys go back to their dead, normal-toy forms.

Once the children leave, Woody finds himself on the floor, and that the surprise present is on the bed. He goes and climbs up and finds a space toy. The space toy wakes up and looks around, believing he is on an alien planet. Woody quickly finds out that Buzz Lightyear is deluded. He really thinks he is a Space Ranger. But the others believe his tall tales about Star Command, Zurg, and the Galactic Alliance. Woody makes a deal with Buzz to see him fly with his plastic wings. But Buzz does it with his eyes closed and luckily doesn't hit the ground, making him still think he can fly. Woody still wants to be Andy's favorite toy.

Over the days, Woody's wish goes oppositely. He gets severely agitated by this. So one day, he orders Buzz to "stop with this Spaceman thing". Buzz threatens to call up Star Command, but Woody knows Buzz is deluded.

"HAHAHA!" Next door is a psycho kid named Sid Phillips. He ruins toys for fun! Everyone crowds around, worried at what will happen to the poor Combat Carl. Sid lights the fuse on Carl's back, and BOOM! He's history!

The next day, Andy gets to go to Pizza Planet. He can only bring one toy. He, of course, would choose Buzz. Woody, however, gets out the Eight-Ball and asks it: "Will Andy pick me?" The Eight-Ball replies "Don't count on it." Woody then throws the Eight-Ball into a hole between Andy's desk and the wall.

Suddenly, Woody thinks, well what if that racecar toy pushes him into the hole? So he pretends he's so worried about the Eight-Ball. Woody then drives RC to knock Buzz down, but he jumps out of the way, and through a series of unfortunate events, falls out of the window. Everyone notices.

RC rats out to Mr. Potato Head that Woody pushed Buzz out the window on purpose. This is, of course, false, but no one knows. They completely hate Woody for this, and the only ones who believe Woody are Slinky Dog, the most loyal (of course) and Rex, who is not on either side.

Andy then takes Woody to Pizza Planet, who is remorseful about Buzz's disaster, but Buzz escapes in the back of the car.

At a gas station, Buzz gets into the car. Woody is relieved. However, Buzz is not. Buzz and Woody start to fight very violently in the gas station.

Andy and his mom get into the car, leaving the two toys behind. Buzz does some more deluded talk to "Star Command", causing Woody to shout "YOU ARE A TOY!!!" and even want to commit suicide.

Suddenly, another vehicle arrives at the gas station. A Pizza Planet truck! Woody gets Buzz into the truck having called it a "spaceship".

Woody and Buzz get into Pizza Planet and find Andy. Before Woody can get there, though, Buzz goes into a skill crane machine, thinking it's a spaceship that will get him home.

The skill crane machine is filled with Squeeze Toy Aliens. They are also deluded, believing that "The Claw" is a god that decides who shall go and who shall stay. Woody gets into the skill crane machine, but before he can get Buzz out, a familiar figure comes by. Sid Phillips!

Sid grabs an Alien right on top of Buzz, revealing his head. Sid dives for it, but Woody pulls him to the back to escape. He fails, as the Squeeze Toy Aliens believe that "The Claw has chosen him!" Now, Woody and Buzz are in Sid's clutches.

Sid's room is very scary. All the toys are made of parts from different toys, and he has a lot of explosives and an "I Heart Explosives" sign on his wall.

Meanwhile, Andy comes back from Pizza Planet without Woody. The toys back at Andy's house are flabbergasted.

Sid starts to torture Woody and Buzz, but not very far yet. Woody's forehead is burned, and Buzz has been shot with suction-cup darts. Woody sees the door is open! With the help of Buzz's karate-chop gadget in the back, he dodges the mutant toys and makes it outside the room. However, Sid's dog, Scud, who is just as bad, is sleeping guard downstairs. Woody's pull string accidentally wakes him up, so the two toys hide.

Buzz sees a commercial of himself on television, and learns that the "World's greatest superhero's now the world's greatest toy!" and that he's "NOT A FLYING TOY."

Depressed, but not deluded anymore, Buzz walks to the stairs and tries to fly out the window. He fails and loses an arm.

Sid's sister, Hanna comes by, finds Buzz, and starts to play with him.

Woody, tangled in a closet, pushes himself out. He overhears Hanna playing with Buzz, and calling him "Mrs. Nesbitt".

Woody gets Hanna to leave, but finds Buzz more depressed than ever. He really thinks he is Mrs. Nesbitt. But he mentions "out the window" and Woody rushes there with Christmas lights.

He tosses the lights to Andy's other toys with success, however, they ask him to show Buzz. However, being a depressed Buzz, he refuses, and tosses his broken arm up. He tries to fool the toys at home, but Mr. Potato Head makes him show Buzz's severed arm. Now, not even Slinky believes him.

The mutant toys surround Buzz. Woody is certain they want to eat him. However, all they are doing is fixing his arm. He is relieved.

Sid goes into the room, jolly and merry. He has a rocket called "The Big One". He puts it on Buzz to launch the next day, and leaves a toolbox on top of a crate that Woody is hiding in, leaving him trapped. Sid goes to bed.

Woody calls Buzz to help him, but Buzz thinks that because he's a toy, he can't help anyone. Woody tries to tell him that being a toy is better than a Space Ranger. However, Woody feels defeated to Buzz. Eventually, Buzz believes Woody. He gets Woody out of the crate... right as Sid wakes up. He grabs Buzz to blow up.

The mutant toys come out, and Woody commences an elaborate plan to save Buzz.

Eventually, Scud is locked out of the house, and Woody makes it into the backyard. Sid sees him and puts a match in his pocket to light later. A second before Buzz is lighted, Sid's experiment is erred; he hears something. "Reach for the sky!"

It's coming from Woody. He might as well be broken. "It's busted," says Sid.

"Who are you calling busted, Buster?"

The toy is actually talking to Sid! It's impossible! Suddenly, more live toys come from the backyard and surround Sid.

"We toys can see everything, SO PLAY NICE!" says Woody, live.


Sid has been defeated!

But a familiar sound comes, of Andy's car! They're moving right now!

Woody scrambles; the car is in easy reach. But not for Buzz. He still has the rocket on, and can't get through the fence. Woody helps him, but misses the car. However, there's another ride for them, the moving truck! Woody and Buzz scramble for it, unfortunately waking up Scud. Buzz runs fast, but Woody gets caught in the horror of Scud's teeth! He can't hold on! But Buzz does something unimaginable; he jumps off the truck and attacks Scud. Woody climbs up the truck, getting an idea. He opens a box... containing the toys that didn't trust him. He pushes them aside and opens the next toy box, holding RC. He grabs hold of his remote control and kicks him off, intending to rescue Buzz. The other toys, however, believe he is trying to get rid of another toy. They start to attack him!

Buzz, however, is perfectly safe from Scud. RC is too fast for him.

All the toys get into a big pile, getting ready to toss their ex-friend onto the street. They do just that. "Hooray! So long, Woody!" they cheer.

Woody is defeated. He can't catch up to the truck now... until Buzz catches him on RC! Woody puts RC on Turbo Mode to catch up to the truck.

From a distance, a binoculars toy sees them. Now the toys know that Woody never was evil. Now one problem remained: Just how to get him into the truck?

One toy decides to try the truck ramp. It fails horribly. Slinky tosses himself to Woody, who almost dies in the process. However, this just looks like playtime in a rear-window view from Molly. Eventually RC runs out of battery, and they are stranded. But Woody still has the match to light Buzz's rocket!

He lights it, but a passing truck ruins it. Now there is NO hope left, beyond the sun's energy.

The sun's energy! It's burning him through Buzz's helmet, this time in a good way. Woody gets the idea and lights the fuse. Only when he discovers the rocket will explode and kill them, it goes off, sending them at an overwhelming speed. They catch up to the truck and almost crash, but Buzz flies using the rocket. RC is safely returned, but death is at hand.

"Not today!" says Buzz. He opens his wings, freeing himself from the rocket. The rocket goes up and explodes, while Woody and Buzz go down.

But they do not fall to their death. The air seems to catch them and they start flying!

"To infinity and beyond!" says a joyful Woody.

But they go so fast they pass the truck. Then Buzz makes a stop through Andy's car's sunroof. Andy is so happy to find them.

Andy goes to his new house just in time for Christmas. Now everyone is happy, and the soldiers are going to the party to check out the new presents. Mr. Potato Head has the present he's been dreaming of... a Mrs. Potato Head! Woody and Buzz are happy together. But they hear Andy opening a present. It contains a puppy!

Buzz Lightyear is on an adventure! He zooms along the landscape of an alien planet. An assembly of creatures imprison him, but Buzz has dexterity: he reflects his laser at all of them!

The ground starts to break. Buzz disappears inside. It looks like a dark hallway. He goes by.

At the end, he is in a bigger room; at the end is the Source of Zurg's Power. With much trouble (he almost falls to his death) he intercepts it.

Zurg appears... it was a fake! "So, we meet again, Buzz Lightyear! For the last time!"

"Not today, Zurg!"

Buzz leaps over Zurg, who kills him.


Rex was playing a video game all along.

Woody gets out of his drawer with no hat. In an hour, Andy, a four-year-older kid now, will leave for Cowboy Camp. Everyone is looking hard.

However, Rex is arguing over the video game controller, turning on a TV to an Al's Toy Barn ad.

After this blizzard, Slinky passes by; he has Woody's hat! But Andy's dog, Buster, all grown up, charges in. Don't worry, he's a kind dog. Andy comes in to put him away. He'll go to Cowboy Camp soon.

Shortly after, the kid gives his static toys another adventure. In the end, Woody triumphs, but he's abused in an arm! Woody is left behind, then, while Andy goes by himself to camp.

Later, Andy comes back and plucks Woody up. But with Woody's scratch, he can't play with him anymore. So he puts him in the trash.

Woody gets up from his bizarre doze, frightened. He hears screeching. It's Wheezy, an old, broken toy. He tells him that he's one step from "over here, to over there," pointing at... a yard sale! Woody is shocked.

Woody accumulates his compatriots in an emergency assembly, when Andy's mom enters. She grabs some old toys... and Wheezy!

Woody whistles for Buster to rescue him. The two make their way outside. Woody then recognizes Wheezy amidst the worthless items!

Wheezy is saved, but Woody does not make it back. Oof! He falls, and a hunchbacked, lazy, lackadaisical, uncivilized, unhealthy, unwealthy, unwise collector named Al McWhiggin finds him and seizes him.

Everyone studies this, and Buzz goes down to get him back. He fails, but he notices two things, the license plate (LZTYBRN) and some feathers.

Back in Andy's room Buzz investigates the license plate with Mr. Spell, and everyone else is investigating the crime, without luck, but someone shouts "toys" making Buzz find the distinct solution:

"Al's Toy Barn."

Al's Toy Barn! From the advertisement! The chicken is the one!

In the meantime, Woody makes it into big-belly Al's apartment. He can't break out. What will he do?

BAM! Some noise distracts him. A crazy horse has picked Woody up! He's puzzled and dizzy. What in the world is going on? "YEEEEEHAAA!" A cowgirl toy named Jessie is so fascinated to discover him.

She gets out a box. It has a potent Prospector in mint condition. He is also ecstatic.

Bulls-Eye, the horse, shows Woody the Roundup Gang's dazzling awards and prizes, and then inserts an old video into a VCR. Woody even has his own television show!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the toys seek distasteful Al's commercial. Upon catching it, Etch-a-Sketch draws the given map. It's unbelievable he said it, but Woody had once saved Buzz once, and he must thoroughly do something in return. Buzz, Mr. Potato Head, Slinky, Rex, and Hamm scramble to save Woody.

He is watching Woody's Roundup. At the end of a healthy episode right before the conclusion, the TV is turned off. That conclusive episode was canceled because of Sputnik, and the space toys' popularity.

Woody plays with his merchandise, and has so much fun.

"Now it's on to the museum!" says Prospector, blissfully.

Oh, no! And it's far away... in Japan! Woody can't go there, with Andy at home, but the Gang needs him for the museum, or they'll go back into storage, which Jessie fears more than anything else.

Al comes in to take group pictures of the toys. But getting Woody from his case, his whole arm is removed badly. Al leaves, and Woody is saddened, but terrified, at having a single arm.

Buzz comes out of a bush, going block-to-block to Al's Toy Barn. The toys start to slack off, weakened, but Buzz, persistent, motivates them with a short, passionate speech honoring Woody's notable achievement.

Al turns off Buzz's boring TV broadcast and goes to sleep. His Cheetos bowl topples.

Woody wakes up to retrieve his arm and leave, but a somewhat bad landmine field of cheese puffs is stopping him. Bulls-Eye is also awake, and he starts to bother Woody. With much distress, he gets his severed arm and turns around.

But then, the TV turns on without caution. Woody is puzzled, but Al-of-fatness wakes up, grabs the remote near Jessie's locality, and leaves with the arm. Jessie and Woody fight over this, until Prospector breaks it up.

At that time, Buzz and friends reached Al's Toy Barn. But one block remains. The street! Buzz gets an idea to masquerade as traffic cones.

This is very tough. Many cars get abused, and even a bad, heavy tube almost kills them. But they ultimately get to the store.

DING-DONG... Geri the Toy Cleaner sees fastidious Al to organize Woody. He gets started on a lengthy occupation. "You can't rush art," he says.

Buzz and his allies make it into the market to find Woody. Unbeknownst to them, Woody is across the street. While they are scanning, Rex finds a guidebook for the Zurg game, and Buzz finds an updated construction of himself.

Geri seals Woody's arm, and the job, soon. He is tidy, healthy, safe, and sound.

Buzz, looking at the other handsome Buzz's belt, seizes it, causing this bad, deluded Buzz to try to break him. Buzz is shocked at his previous deluded conduct, but loses to his double, and gets packed inside a box.

The others, in a toy car, fancy a bunch of showy, snazzy Barbie dolls at a night party. Hamm tries to ask for directions, but a crazy Tour Guide Barbie takes them on a tour. Rex ruins it badly and loses the mighty Zurg book.

They meet up at Hoax Buzz and whisk him away.

"HELP! You have the wrong Buzz!!" babbles Real Buzz, inefficiently.

Now, Nasty Al takes the group photography. Woody sees his stitching intact and identifies Andy in his thoughts. Certain of packaging now, a skittish Jessie goes to the window to look at the sun one whole last time.

Woody goes up to her and she tells him the soft, pathetic story of her forgotten owner, Emily, who was exactly like Andy. But Emily grew up, ignored toys, and several years later, packed her cowgirl adherent away.

She says, "You never forget kids like Andy or Emily, but - but they forget you!"

Woody is ready to leave, but the Prospector shows Woody didactic, philosophical hints, "Would Andy take you to college? Or on his honeymoon?" Which optant hemisphere should Woody be in?

Woody, hesitant, shifts back to his kinsfolk. "Who am I to break up the Roundup Gang?"

Buzz unbolts himself from the container. Considerably fast, he dashes and makes it at the automatic door - but doesn't get through. Lucky to Buzz, it's across the street. He knocks some boxes down, letting him step out. But then, a certain packet opens.

"Destroy Buzz Lightyear!" says a bad Zurg, trying to catch him.

Now, at the time to travel to Tokyo, the triumphant Roundup toys dance, party, and shout.

CLANG! Deluded Buzz rises up the tall elevator shaft with his magnets, while the rest of the toys hold onto a rope. This doesn't apply well. So "Buzz" badly lets go of the wall: fortunately, he gets on the moving elevator.

The toys appear at fatty Al's, and thrust the door down with Rex's head. REAL Buzz appears now to rid the crazy hoax. They start to attack the stranger toys, but Woody stops them and specifies the truth of his recent enthusiastic attitude to the exhibit. Buzz uses Woody's words, "You are a toy!" but Woody opposes, and the rest of Andy's toys (plus Deluded Buzz) travel back to Andy's home.

"You've got a friend in me..." the old video shows Woody his destiny; the true, honest, substantial, sweet instinct of childhood. He's soothed; he changes his mind about the museum.

Then he gets a striking apprehension. Why doesn't the Gang come with them?

But a bad Prospector totally wrecks it, and locks up the vent door. He was evil at the start! The TV "incident", too! A tool of Beelzebub!

Heavy-weight Al gets in there to pack his cash (toys) to the airport. The other toys try and hatch a tactic plan.

While traveling down, Zurg appears! The batty "Buzz" tries to battle him, but misses, to have Zurg capture him. Rex turns around, scared, and knocks the bad, harsh toy to the bottom of the shaft. He really did defeat Zurg! Ha-ha-ha!

At the end of the duel, they waltz out of there; they left "Buzz" behind. Bad-daddy Al's in a car, so they have theft of a Pizza Planet truck, to find... Squeeze Toy Aliens! "Strangers! From the outside! EOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" they say. Potato Head saves them from going out the window; they are intensely thankful. From this, they are now uniformed; Andy's toys!

At the airport, the toys board a suitcase platform. It's incredibly large.

They dash to find Woody. It's hard. Someone discovered camera things in a duplicate.

Buzz sees the actual one, but the bad, harsh Prospector knocks the "space toy" down.

Woody, then, is beaten down, weakened, and injured anew, but Prospector is dazzled by very flashy cameras. He is defeated!

Jessie is the last business. She is trapped. Woody and Bulls-Eye try to catch her on a truck; she's distant and far ahead.

Being loaded on to the plane, time's nearly up. Woody takes her out of the box.

"On three: One, two -"

Too late. It's moving! They'll be in Japan soon! How bad! Woody's hat has fallen, but a dependable, wholehearted friend collected it. Buzz!

Woody slips! But an idea hits.
The two toys swing on Woody's string amazingly to security... successfully! All's well. Al's ABSOLUTELY not well.

"Let's... go home."

At dawn, Andy dashes fast cheerfully back. He discovers...

"Oh, wow, New toys!"

All day, he's content. He fixed Woody, too, neat, tidy, and okay.

Now everyone is happy. Wheezy has a new squeaker, and Buzz starts to be attached to Jessie.

Woody isn't worried about Andy out of childhood, and abandon. It's a beatific delight while it lasts, "for infinity and beyond!"

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Understanding Engineers
Two engineering students were walking their bicycles across the university campus when one asked, "Where did you get such a great bicycle?"

The second replied, "Well, I just was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful girl rode up on this bicycle, threw it onto the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers ahead.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golfers!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Bob, what's up with that group ahead of us? They're incredibly slow!"

The greenskeeper answered, "Those are blind firemen. They all lost their sight saving the clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play anytime."

The entire group fell silent. The priest said, "That's sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

Next, the doctor said, "That's a great idea! I'm going to contact an ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do to help them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they golf at night?"

To the happy optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the glum unhappy pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the critically-thinking engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.

The graduate with a physics degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree prefers, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with the arts degree asks, "So, do ya' want fries with that?"

Normally, many people believe the theory that if it ain't broke, don't fix it--why worry?
Oddly, engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

A group of engineering students who study together pondered who designed the human body.

The first offered, "Presumably, it was a mechanical engineer, considering all those powerful joints."

The second responded, "Wrong! It was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has thousands of superb electrical connections throughout."

The final fellow, stopping to think for a long moment, answered dryly, "Oh, actually, it would have to be the civil engineer who designed the human body. What other foolhardy moron would run a hydrodynamic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

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Married in white, you have chosen all right.
Married in green, ashamed to be seen.
Married in grey, you will go far away.
Married in red, you will wish yourself dead.
Married in blue, he will ever be true.
Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow.
Married in black, comforts you'll lack.
Married in pink, your spirits will sink.
Married in brown, you'll live out of town.
Married in pearl, you'll live in a whirl.

(A Traditional Rhyme)

Wed a pediatrician; he'll worry bringing up your kids.
Wed a university librarian; he'll be informed.
Wed a military air warrior; he'll star in a lofty mission.
Wed a rich millionaire; he'll burn money.
Wed a voyeur; he'll be vigilant.
Wed a nonconformist; he'll remain immature.
Wed a murderer; he'll kill for you.
Wed an improviser; he'll make do.
Wed a religious fanatic minister; he'll irk you.
Wed a martyr; sorry, he'll die for you.