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A man walks into a small Irish pub and orders three beers. The barman is surprised at such an unusual request, but he serves him the drinks anyway. An hour later the same guy orders another three beers.
The following day the same thing occurs: the man orders three beers again and drinks them quietly in the corner. This occurs many times and soon all the town is talking about the man who is ordering three beers at once.
A couple of weeks later, the curious bartender decides to clear up the mystery and inquires: "Hey, I don't wish to pry, but could you explain just why you order three beers every time?"
The man replies, "Oh, yeah, it does seem weird doesn't it? You see, my two brothers - Jake and Quincy - live abroad: one in Italy and one in France. We have an agreement that every time one of us goes into a pub he'll order a beer for each of the other two and so keep up the family unity."
Soon, the whole town had heard the man's story and liked it. He quickly became a local celebrity and the Irish townfolk were telling his story to newcomers and tourists and inviting them to the inn to show them ‘Three Beer Man'.
One day the man comes to the pub and orders only two beers, not the usual three. The barman serves him with a bad feeling.
All that night the man orders and drinks only two beers. Next day, the whole town is dejected and is talking about the sad news; some praying for the soul of one of the departed brothers, some quietly grieving.
When the man comes to the pub and gets only two drinks again, the barman says: "I would like to offer you my condolences on the sad death of your brother. Is it Jack, or Quincy who died?"
The man considers this quietly for a moment, and replies: "Ah, I see! You're obviously surprised that I buy only two drinks now. Well, my two brothers are alive and well, thank you - it's just that I myself have given up drinking!"
George W Bush said to the Queen, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can let me have?"
"Well, Mr Bush," said the Queen, "The most important thing is to surround yourself with really intelligent people."
Bush frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know which of the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen took a sip of her Bollinger champagne. "That's easy; one merely asks them to answer an intelligent little riddle. Watch this..."
The Queen pressed a button on her intercom and said. "Please send Tony Blair in."
Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?"
The Queen smiled and replied, "Answer me this please, Mr Blair. Your mother and father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Blair answered: "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good, Mr Blair." smiled the Queen.
Bush went back home to ask Dick Cheney the same question. "Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"Well, I'm not sure about that," said an embarrassed Cheney. "Let me get back to you later, okay?" He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give an answer. Frustrated, he went for a workout in the congressional gym, where he bumped into John Kerry.
Cheney went over to him and asked, "Hey John, see if you can answer this question for me. Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Kerry answered, "Hell, that's easy: it's me of course!"
Cheney beamed, and said, "Excellent! That's a really good answer!" He then went back to see President Bush. Babbling with excitement, he said: "Mr Bush, I did some research and I've got the answer to that riddle. It's John Kerry!"
Bush got up, stomped over to Cheney, and angrily yelled into his face, "NO, you moron! It's Tony Blair!"