Anagrammy Winners by David Bourke in 2000
All the winning anagrams by David Bourke from the 2000 Anagrammy Awards.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, January 2000:
eq.2nd - David Bourke with:
[A group of George Michael themed anagrams.]
"No Y-fronts? Let's shag rectum!"
= Songs From The Last Century
A hairy gay Greek go-go musician. (Police sore too!)
= Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou (George Michael)
Up in Rio, to goose a gay
= Georgios Panayiotou
Gay ring glee: 'Wham!' idol career ended
= George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley
I'm Harrow sex-menace... giggle, eh?
= Ex-'Wham!' singer George Michael
G.M. led cop in, let penetrate asshole!
= The Los Angeles Police Department
Who, me? I'll stalk, rim, roger, rape!
Or: "I'll arrest limp 'Wham!' greeko!"
= The Will Rogers Memorial Park
A cop lubricant
= Club Tropicana
A Public W.C. marathon
= 'Club Tropicana' - Wham!
Wowee! A gay Greek homo bum-pouf
= 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go' - Wham!
I help screw arses
= Careless Whisper
God! I want that fairy!
= Waiting For That Day
Gay News thrives, then?
= Everything She Wants
Get fairy in romp
Merry? Not if a pig!
Er, fit in gay romp
= Praying For Time
Fag fruit here
= Father Figure
SOS! Lewd gay can nob!
= Cowboys And Angels
Anal-sediment legend
= Ladies And Gentlemen
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, February 2000:
1st - David Bourke with:
Leonardo DiCaprio =
Ocean idol, or a drip?
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, March 2000:
1st - David Bourke with:
Madonna Louise Ciccone =
One cool dance musician.
AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, April 2000:
David Bourke with:
THE
BALLAD OF READING GAOL
SPECIAL CATEGORY, May 2000:
eq.3rd - David Bourke with:
HOW MANY RICHARD GRANTHAMS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
NONE. (BUT LIT THE AWARDS CHART! HAIL THE BIG SHOCK ANAGRAMMY
GOD!)
HOW MANY JON GEARHARTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
DO JUST GET ONE RHYME KING (WHO CAN BOAST/BRAG A LITTLE - HA HA!)
HOW MANY LARRY BRASH'S DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
"G'DAY ALL! IT'S ONE!" - MR. L.B. (BY THE BUSH - WATCH
THE KANGAROOS AIR).
HOW MANY WILLIAM TUNSTALL-PEDOES DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT
BULB? =
BE ALIGHT? AH WELL, AT MOST, IT WILL TAKE ONLY ONE SUCH MAD, BAD,
TOP GENIUS.
HOW MANY JANETS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? =
AH, JUST BE TWO - BOTH LADIES CAN LET GO, MAKE ANY NIGHT!
HOW MANY MIKE KEITHS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? =
"I BET ON HIGH, BUT DO I KNOW MATHEMATICALLY?" ASKS
THE GEEK.
HOW MANY WHITNEY COHENS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
"CHANGE, EH? WHY, GLAD TO (THAT'S THIS ONCE), BUT I'M ONLY
A NEWBIE, OK!"
HOW MANY MICK TULLY'S DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
ONE, MAYBE? (A DUMB HUNCH) - GO ASK THAT LOWLY SICK LITTLE GIT.
HOW MANY DANIEL F. ETTERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
BUT WHY? IN FACT, HE DOES NOT NEED TO A BIT. (EG: ALL A MAKER'S
LIGHT)
HOW MANY MEYRAN KRAUS'S DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
ASK D.B. - "ONLY ONE ISRAELI (BUT OY, WHAT A GEM! MUCH GREAT
THANKS!)"
HOW MANY RICHARD BRODIES DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
=
WHY, ABOUT ONE. O HARK! BIBLE SAID "CHRIST, MAN! GOD CREATED
LIGHT!"
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, July 2000:
1st - David Bourke with:
Want cleaner bowels? =
Newcastle Brown Ale.
RUDE CATEGORY, September 2000:
1st - David Bourke with:
The menstrual cycle =
"My cunt creates hell!"
SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2000:
1st - David Bourke with:
The
Monty Python Dead Parrot Sketch
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2000:
1st - David Bourke with:
The Traveling Wilburys: Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne and Roy Orbison =
An angry Jew / the Beatle / blond boy / sorry prat in ELO / stiff guy... in short, very boring old men.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 2000:
2nd - David Bourke with:
The
Ten Commandments
LONG SPAM CATEGORY, December 2000:
1st - David Bourke with:
Romance Coupons.com - is the place for fresh ideas that put the
variety back into your relationship - announced new Christmas
& Kwanzaa Romance Coupons. Check them out at:
http://www.romancecoupons.com
=
No chance to score? NoMates.com is THE site for a noncy chap without a fuck. Cripes! Horror! Ain't that a shame? (Plus not very nice). Come on up, wanker, and unzip the old chap!
Cock up & masturbate!
www.NoMates.com
LONG CATEGORY, December 2000:
1st - David Bourke with:
Now, I don't want you to think I expect acknowledgements for all
of my posts, but I've posted what I consider to be some strong
anagrams during this month and have received very few comments.
Take this last week for example. My newsreader shows I posted
28 anagrams (some of which I *really* like) since, and including,
December 16th (and not including this one, of course) and yet
there have only been 3 responses. Since I've experienced connection
troubles with my ISP during the earlier part of this month (mostly
email problems with several emails lost to the ether) and since
I've been using a new, for-pay newsgroup server this last month,
I'm wondering if all that I send is actually getting to the newsgroup.
If so, well then, I guess I'm just over-estimating the "brilliance"
of my work and so be it. But I'd hate to think I'm doing all this
typing and that not everyone is seeing them.
So, could a maybe 3 or 4 of you (no need for the whole group to respond), assuming that you can even see this message, please do an experiment for me? If you have Outlook Express as your newsreader, or if you know how to do this in whatever newsreader you have, please select Edit/Find from the menu bar and type in Rick Rothstein into the "From" box (alt.anagrams should already be in the "Look in" box), click the check mark box in the "Received after" box and select 12/1/00 for the date on the calendar that pops up. Finally, press the "Find Now" button. In the status bar at the bottom of the window, does it say "113 message(s) . . ."? If so, then all my messages are getting through and I'll have to work harder to perfect my anagrams. If not, then I need to contact ?someone? to report the problem. Either way, I'd like to know.
Thank you and a Happy Holiday to all,
Rick
=
Hey, now I don't want you to think I'd expect all my net purchases to land on the mat, but this month I have ordered online (indeed, paid for on my American Express card): 6 gerbils, 3 hamsters, 1 tube of KY Jelly, 3 gross of cardboard toilet-tubes, the Lifetime Membership of the Richard Gere Appreciation Society, a vacuum cleaner, a shoehorn, a donkey, a llama, 12 leather whips, some stirrups, 14 pairs of crotchless pants, 10 pairs of Latex examination gloves, 28m of electric flex, a tub of chocolate body paint, new sheets, some Swarfega industrial hand cleaner, 10-denier fishnet stockings, a sexy negligee, Y-Fronts (furry-lined inside), a kilt, new felt merkin, the complete set of Baywatch videos, some Viagra, 3 boxes of shiny wet-look lipstick, new teeth, eye shadow, some nail varnish, meths, a nipple-piercing kit, The Toe-Sucking Handbook, a 'King Dong' heavy-duty twin-ended monster vibrator, a pound of sliced liver, the Tina Turner 'Nutbush' wig (with dayglo-tinted extensions), some new white stilettoes, 'Men! Men! Men! - The Complete Nude Photographic Works Of Robert Mapplethorpe', the new Village People's Greatest Hit Songs boxed-set Anthology, then the new-out hot 'Divine Naked!' video, a bottle of amyl-nitrate, the 'Diana' colonic irrigation kit, a set of seven hypodermic needles, the new 'Dominant S-and-M Bondage For Gents (Beginners)' book, a toothbrush, some 'Minty Menthol' mouthwash, some semen-stain remover, (ditto, shite), and then a copy of the Anagram Genius Windows software. Now thus far, it seems, only the Anagram Genius has actually arrived. I would therefore advise that you only order goods on the Internet from known, trustworthy, reputable sources.
Thank you, you sweet little honeys! Love,
Rick.
Mwah!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, December 2000:
1st - David Bourke with:
'Twas
the night before Christmas
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