Anagrammy Winners by Meyran Kraus in 2000
All the winning anagrams by Meyran Kraus from the 2000 Anagrammy Awards.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, January 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The battle for Elian's custody =
Oh stay, little fostered Cuban!
SPAM CATEGORY, January 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
You Can Easily Stop "Incurable" Herpes Outbreaks Now =
Ah, Can You Eat A Boner, Silly Web-Poster? Suck Our Penis!
AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, January 2000:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
New York, USA =
You wankers!
SPAM CATEGORY, February 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
<seecups@excite.com>
Best Flesh in the West Found at this Tasty Site!!
No Bull At This Site--Just Raw and Pure Pleasure! Over 18 Only
http://3626174393/Pluto/aarne
=
I wish a jury of 12 poor, sexually used teens will sentence that
obese pervert pest, cut his testicles and then put 1,837,439,366
tarantulas up his fat bottom.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, February 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
France's Capital =
Clean fact: Paris.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, February 2000:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The
Ten Commandments, each anagrammed separately.
GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Wearing a toupee =
I tape a wee rug on.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, March 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Pope's speech in Israel, grieving for the Holocaust dead =
The perished group? He apologised for the Vatican's silence.
SPAM CATEGORY, March 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Here's an idea... (81058)
If you think FREE PORN on the net is hard to find, think again...
We've got thousands of FREE XXX pics and FREE VIDEOS waiting for
you!
=
To (81058):
I *think* you pissed off the wrong person.
I won't visit an XXX site even if I had gonorrhea and you had
a cure.
Here's a different ending: Take off!!!
LONG SPAM CATEGORY, March 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
TRANSYLVANIA (IT) - Two attractive young women have disappeared
while vacationing in the Transylvanian Mountains. Their garments
have been found stained with partially digested blood and bat
and human saliva. This and similar occurrences are causing international
concern. Detective Iulia Popescu of the Transylvanian Police has
concluded that the missing people are now slaves to the infamous
Count Dracula.
Does this news article frighten you?
=
TEL-AVIV, ISRAEL - An unsuspecting (and cute) twenty-year-old opened his mail, only to discover tedious spam (Aaaahhh!) about an undead pervert in a Romanian castle. Tel-Aviv PD has confirmed it's a product of "Cruel net-thieves, biting the world-wide-web's veins, feeding on the innocent and persuading others ('WEALTH! CASH!!!') that electronic harassing is a normal activity that results in an actual financial uprise."
Will this anagram convince you to not annoy me again?
RUDE CATEGORY, April 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Genital Warts =
Rinse twat, gal!
RUDE CATEGORY, May 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Inflammatory Bowel Disease =
My ass blew fire, I moaned a lot.
LONG SPAM CATEGORY, May 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Here's how we prepare our e-mail lists:
1. We clean and eliminate all duplicates.
2. Next, we use a filter list of 400+ words/phrases to clean even more. No address with inappropriate or profane wording survive!
3. Then, a special filter file is used to eliminate the 'Web Poisoned' e-mail addresses from the list. Our EXCLUSIVE system reduced these 'poison' addresses to near zero. You may have seen CD's with 30, 40, 50 million addresses, not only do they contain may undeliverable addresses, but most are notorious for millions of these 'poisoned' email addresses.
4. Next we used our private database of thousands of known 'extremists' and kicked off every one we could find. NOTE: We maintain the world's largest list of individuals and groups that are opposed to any kind of commercial e-marketing... they are gone, nuked!
5. We sorted the list into easy-to-manage packets of 20,000 addresses in a simple text (.txt) format.
6. All domains have been verified as valid.
=
Here's how to prepare Sweet and Sour Spammer:
1. Hunt the eerie little shit using a dollar bill as bait.
2. Next, kill it! Use whichever method you want: suffocation, decapitation, poison, AIDS or even 500 stabs to the kidneys.
3. Time to fill our dead spammer!
Slice it open using a chain saw and remove insides with a spoon.
Fill the empty cadaver with EXPLOSIVES, a zillion dead red-ants
and fleas, mayo-dip, fried sea-weeds, turkey dressing, some dried
olives, dental floss, a handful of poison oak leaves, deer excrement
and lard for some extra aftertaste.
4. Next, make the sauce: Boil some red wine in a pot; gradually add 40cc of your own spit (Sweet) and pee (Sour). Slowly stir for 40 seconds. NOTE: Add some more beverages (like soda) or even standard water to maintain moisture.
5. Insert the dead stiff in the oven for 200 minutes in 3000F degrees, or wait 'till the oven explodes. Finally, pour sauce and sprinkle some sesame seeds.
6. Serve cold to your sworn enemies.
SPAM CATEGORY, June 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
MAKE SURE YOUR RETURN ADDRESS IS ON YOUR ENVELOPE IN CASE OF ANY
MAIL PROBLEMS!
=
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You're a porn-spammer ninny
And slime, so FUCK YOU!
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, July 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Mel Gibson, "The Patriot" =
He is promoting battle!
ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY, July 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Victoria's Secret Catalogue =
Got actual erotica services.
Cool, cause I crave great tits.
Our static, erotic cleavages.
It's our erotic cleavages act.
Covet a girl: "A cute, erotic ass!"
SPAM CATEGORY, September 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Jack be Nimble
Jack be Quick
To See the Hottest Porn
You Have to Click
http://www.smutserve.com
=
Jerk be Shitty
Jerk be Sick
Love-Act? Cum-Bath?
No! Shove a Stick!
http://www.CuteEloquentPoem.com
SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2000:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Three
anagrams of A Daughter of Eve by Christina Georgina Rossetti
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, October 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Wile E. Coyote and The Roadrunner =
Try a cartoon duel where none die!
LONG CATEGORY, October 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Winter
Nightfall by Robert Bridges
SPAM CATEGORY, November 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
OLD FRIENDS
OLD CLASSMATES
MILITARY BUDDIES
DEADBEAT DADS & MOMS
SIBLING'S
RELATIVES
LOST LOVED ONES
WITNESS LOCATING
=
LAME MORONS,
SAD CRETINS,
BAD-ASS IDIOTS,
BRAIN-DEAD CLODS,
EVIL DOLTS,
VAIN DWEEBS,
SILLY OLD GITS,
FALSE NET-DUMMIES:
Get lost.
ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY, December 2000:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Biggest and Most Creative Painters of All Times =
Da Vinci: Artist left protégés the best gem, 'Mona Lisa'.
Van Gogh: Became mad; titles 'Self Portrait' - it is tense.
Michelangelo: Artist's 'Pieta' met finest, bravest god.
Matisse: Five Trotting Girls became the top 'La Danse'.
Monet: Aged master's soft 'Lilies' brighten, captivate.
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