Anagrammy Winners by Larry Brash in 2001

All the winning anagrams by Larry Brash from the 2001 Anagrammy Awards.

LONG SPAM CATEGORY, January 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
ARE YOU READY TO GET $40,000 IN 6 WEEKS WITH ONLY 6 BUCKS!!?? THIS IS REAL AND ITS UNBELIEVABLE HOW MUCH MONEY YOU CAN MAKE IN SUCH A SHORT TIME
GIVE THIS A TRY...PLEASE READ THE STEPS... IF YOU LIKE MONEY AND WANT TO GET RICH FAST... THIS REALLY WORKS YOU DONT HAVE MUCH TO LOSE... BUT ALOT TO GAIN... I PROMICE
=
Yeah?
Bull!
This is how to really make money!
Attend the high school for 6 years.
Move to university for another 4 years.
Maybe with some postgraduate training (Ph.D.?)
Duly obtain a position.
Make $60,000 initially.
Work consistently, week in week out.
Budget.
Accumulate.
Thus, achieve success.

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, February 2001:
eq.1st - Larry Brash with:
Antonio Stradivarius of Cremona, Italy =
Famous or rare violins in an attic today?

SPAM CATEGORY, March 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
Consolidate all your Bills into One Monthly Payment
Slash you credit card interest rates down to zero =
More bloody rancorous spam! Who'll end it?
Today's latest count is another ninety trillion deletes. Crazy!

LONG CATEGORY, April 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
Two households, both alike in dignity

SPECIAL CATEGORY, May 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
Minister Charles Simpson has the power to make you a LEGALLY ORDAINED MINISTER within 48 hours!!!! 1st 20 BE ORDAINED NOW!

As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!!

WEDDINGS
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER, or your BEST FRIEND!!
Don't settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES' MAID
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

FUNERALS
A very hard time for you and your family
Don't settle for a minister you don't know!!
Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

BAPTISMS
You can say "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!"
What a special way to welcome a child of God.

FORGIVENESS OF SINS
The Catholic Church has practiced the forgiveness of sins for centuries
**Forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and willingness to change for the better!!

VISIT CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES
Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need!!
Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed from the flock.

WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH??
After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own congregation!!

At this point you must be wondering how much the Certificate costs. Right? Well, let's talk about how much the program is worth. Considering the value of becoming a CERTIFIED MINISTER I'd say the program is easily worth $100. Wouldn't you agree? However, it won't cost that much. Not even close! My goal is to make this life changing program affordable so average folks can benefit from the power of it.

Since I know how much you want to help others, you're going to receive your Minister Certification for under $100.00... Not even $50.00... You are going to receive the entire life-changing course for only $29.95.

For only $29.95 you will receive:
1. 8-inch by 10-inch certificate IN COLOR, WITH GOLD SEAL.
(CERTIFICATE IS PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED BY AN INK PRESS)
2. Proof of Minister Certification in YOUR NAME!!
3. SHIPPING IS FREE!!!

Larry Brash, Awardsmaster of the Anagrammy Website, will transform you into an award winning anagrammer in 2 hours, not 2 days or 2 months!

As a worthy practitioner of this ancient art, you will soon be creating terrific new rearrangements of everything from simple words through to huge bodies of verse, such as the Complete Works of William Shakespeare.

Surprise your friends! Realize your worth! Get your true recognition. Be a terrific success! Get that promotion at work! Become a red hot lover! See dotty women fight over you!

You can win every category yet, yes, all 9 of them, on your first attempt!

GENERAL
Create beautiful fun cognate gems of 10 letters or less, one that nobody, not even Treesong will find in his archives, even going back to 1893. No corrections!

ENTERTAINMENT
Your terrific efforts crucify Mey Kraus's clever art critic 'grams. By now, he seems quite a total Philistine.

TOPICAL
Tom Myers is now completely chronic, Yesterday City, too out of date, at least 1992 or longer, after you get through with him.

RUDE
Be more disgusting than David Bourke, criticising idiotic fruity poofters and insulting women's genitalia with every winner. Concoct erotic, dirty, itchy-crotch, orifice-fornicating shit.

SPAM
Oh, boy! Turn those unwanted corny advertising cons and horrifying Get-Rich-Now schemes into nice nutritious spamagrams.

LONG
If it is 40 letters or 1000 letters, it will make no difference, you will astound even Richard Brodie.

PEOPLE AND OTHER NAMES
Coy Ms. Burholt will eat her heart out, too, when she sees the efficient concoctions that you could come up with here in these two categories.

SPECIAL
Now this is where you will really outshine the rest. Come first! Mike Keith and Richard Grantham, they are a choice pair of buffoonish semi-literate fools compared to you.

This offer is genuine. No hidden conditions.

How do I do it? Do you have to pay up before I can give you the forty or fifty scientific secrets, which I hold?

What would you consider this would cost? Is this $5000? $850? $50? $10?

No! It's FREE!

Read the FAQ!

RUDE CATEGORY, June 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
Ladies' underpanties =
Splendid arse, Auntie!

SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
Accident-proneness - Psychopathological Theory. Mythology or reality?

W. K. Dunbar (1900-59) found that 500 people who had more than one work accident were more likely, statistically, to experience another one than those who never had accidents. Other early research, with outmoded methodology, showed why some people are more prone toward this than others (D. W. Wood, 1930).

Tom Woulf looked at why the "accident-prone person" often was foolhardy, impulsive, drawn to adventure, thrill seeking and excitement. Woulf proved that "he is often in search of immediate pleasure, and was rarely able to postpone gratification".... "He does not know how to look ahead, follow a plan and often harbours projection or strong resentment against authority figures" (Woulf, 1950). This rebellion, one response to strict upbringing in mid-childhood, is "likely to stem from punitive parenting, too" (Don Poweth, 1990): "He grows up being thwarted, unable to tolerate discipline, not even when that self-discipline is required for one's own safety". His inner rules and failed self-control provoke him to "a powerful fight-flight reaction" (Woulf).

Many studies (P. Meek; B. Welpe; V. Mupa; L. Hoi) with a badly designed methodology, demonstrated that most, if not all, accidents are unconsciously intended. In other words, many of these accidents were "undoubtedly a form of acting out" (Meek). The most frequent underlying negative motive might be "guilt, a death-wish or guilt-related self-punitive rage" (Woulf) The physical injury, psychological suffering, low mood, general discomfort and inconvenience, brought about by the accident, are experienced as punishment and will relieve the guilt feeling, at least temporarily (D. B. Wooten, 1923). That type of defence may be interpreted as the primary gain. The secondary gain may be the need to avoid responsibility or work, to be looked after, to obtain money or profit, or just to get attention from other people.

Woulf and Wood both recommended psychotherapy as the preferred treatment method, but, as yet, there is no good thoughtful study to confirm the benefit of these attempts.

My insurance company asked me for more information regarding my work related accident claim. This was my response:

"I can explain why I put down 'poor planning' as the main cause of my accident.

I was working on the top of a 190-foot tower. I had just completed my work, when I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of assorted tools. Rather than carry all of them back down by hand, I decided to lower these items using a pulley. Securing a rope at ground level, I went to the very top of the tower and then loaded the tools into a small barrow. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in question 19 of the accident report that I weigh 159 pounds.

Due to my complete surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 95-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until my fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. I regained my presence of mind and I was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in question 19.

As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 95-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. That encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools, so only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 190 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope..."

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, July 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
The Impressionist painter, Claude Monet =
He attempts intense colour. I am inspired.

SPECIAL CATEGORY, July 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
Dear Friend:

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The Word Bible CD offers are simply amazing.

The wide range of resources on the CD are valued at over $1500 if purchased separately.

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** Homeschool Resource Index
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** More than 660,000 cross references
** Complete Manual With Index

Also:

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** Create links to favorite scriptures and books.

Try it. No Risk. 30-day money-back guarantee [excluding shipping & handling]

If you are interested in complete information on The Word CD, please visit our Web site: http://vortexwebzone.com/ppc2/index.htm

US and International orders accepted. Credit cards and personal checks accepted.

If your browser won't load the Web site please click the link below to send us an e-mail and we will provide you more information.

mailto:biblecd2001@netscape.net?subject=Please-email-Bible-info

Your relationship with God is the foundation of your life -- on earth and for eternity. It's the most important relationship you'll ever enjoy. Build your relationship with God so you can reap the life-changing benefits only He can provide: unconditional love; eternal life; financial and emotional strength; health; and solutions to every problem or challenge you'll ever face.

May God Bless You,
GGII Ministries, 160 White Pines Dr., Alpharetta Ga, 30004
E-mail address: biblecd2001@netscape.net
Phone: 770-343-9724 Fax 770-772-9925

Dear Disciple of the Evil One,

Get your copy of "The Best of the Witches' Evil Spells" CD-ROM from Satanic Software, out now for every evil crone, intern wizard and occult practitioner, associate or pupil.

Create special spells to put a hex upon your enemies. Impress your business associates. Use your own initiative to become an ace expert in any black magic, Voodoo, sorcery, witchcraft, necromancy, devil worship, demonology, vampires, spirit possession, goblins, and pixies at the bottom of our garden.

The CD contains an impressive incantation list, including every spell to do in rich ill Uncle Ernie, who remembered you in his will, but who's too slow at dying. It won't appear to be a murder. It'll seem this old nonentity had a painless heart attack.

Caste a spell on any ninny. Yes, even Elvis Presley.
Permanently cripple your insane nephew or slip one's penis in your nice cute niece, nineteen.
Poison your myopic grandmother, ninety.
Damage your vile ex-husband's new sports car.
Slip Elle McPherson a love potion.
Recklessly immolate your useless spouse.
Turn your clueless little brother into Richard Grantham's pet llama.

Create an entire new career as an eerie sorcerer. It is easy as sin!

No, it is not expensive. Yes, this is exceptional value for just $666.00

Here is one easy demo piece to evaluate:

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
Fillet of a fenny snake.
In the cauldron boil and bake:
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing.
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf,
Witches mummy, maw and gulf
Of the ravin'd salt-sea shark,
Root of hemlock digg'd i' the dark,
Liver of blaspheming Jew,
Gall of goat and slips of yew
Sliver'd in the moon eclipse,
Nose of Turk and Tartar's lips,
Finger of a birth-strangled babe
Ditch deliver'd by a drab,
Make the gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a tiger's chaudron,
For the ingredients of our cauldron.
Cool it with a baboon's blood,
Then the charm is firm and good.

TOPICAL CATEGORY, August 2001:
eq.1st - Larry Brash with:
Christopher Skase =
He has sick reports.

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, August 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
United States of America =
Mac and Fries Eat-out Site.

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, September 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
Osama bin Laden =
A bad man (no lies).

SPAM CATEGORY, November 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
UNIVERSITY DIPLOMAS
Obtain a prosperous future, money earning power, and the admiration of all.

Select your field of study from business, computers, engineering, education, the sciences, liberal arts, fine arts, social sciences, history, literature, languages, or any other discipline.

No required tests, classes, books, or interviews.

All levels of diplomas awarded - including bachelors, masters, PhD's, and MBA's.

Save Thousands on Tuition Fees!!!

Open enrollment means that you are already accepted into this unique program.

CALL NOW to receive your diploma within days!!!

1-212-465-3248

Call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, including Sundays and holidays.

ALL CALLS KEPT CONFIDENTIAL.

Let's get this plan quite clear in my mind.

What you're supposedly saying is:
You'd give me completely fake qualifications, the holders of which fraudulently use to seamlessly obtain valued, well-paid positions, suspiciously false awards and it'd earn considerable income?

I'll order one for a brain surgeon.

There's a Mayo Clinic consultant neurosurgeon position vacant and I'd like to obtain it, even in the absence of a basic medical degree or the knowledge of functional and structural central nervous system anatomy, the diseases and syndromes, pills, doses, radical Swiss head operations, surgical procedures, instruments, or paraphernalia.

"Dr" Larry.

LONG CATEGORY, December 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
Angram research

Single-Letter Retrieval Cues for Anagram Solution. (Statistical Data Included) KENNETH L. WITTE; JOEL S. FREUND.

ABSTRACT. Anagram solution, as related to single-letter retrieval cues and first letter of the solution word (consonant or vowel), was examined. In Experiment 1, college-aged solvers were presented both types of 5-letter words and either the first letter of the solution word as a cue, or no cue. In Experiment 2, the effects of four types of retrieval cues (first, middle, or last letter or no cue) upon solving consonant-beginning words was examined. Finally, Experiment 3 examined the solution of both types of solution words as related to the preceding four types of retrieval cues. The results of all 3 experiments showed that a single letter can be an effective cue. For consonant-beginning words, the middle and last letters were as effective as the first letter. For vowel-beginning words, the first letter was more effective than either the middle or last letter. It was concluded that solvers select one letter of the anagram, typically a consonant, to serve as the first letter of the solution word, and then rear range the remaining letters.

I don't believe it!

We went to the trouble of doing this exciting postdoctoral research on anagrams, then when we sent it to alt.anagrams, I spelt the most important title word (anagram) wrong! A horrendous typo! How embarrassing!

Except the little regretful error, I still felt that the devotees of alt.anagrams would find it an exceptional article and, in effect, a good learning experience. I'm eager to read everyone's opinions. Feel free to tell us:

Larry Brash: "Now, which of you useless overeducated college idiots wrote this moronic stuff?"
David Bourke: "Well, it'll need a ton of effing rude ones. None? Then shove off, fat tosser!"
Richard Grantham: "Utter nonsense! Results of the all tests contain errors."
Walter Newboldt: "i felt its terrific wonderful clever droll stuff except i fell asleep reading it. Still need volunteers?"
Dan Fortier: "It's rotten, total crap, feces, etc. etc. etc."
Janet Burholt: "An extreme time waster. Never send any further ones of these."
Ernesto Guiraldes: "It's academic claptrap. The worst test I've seen; no contest."
D.A. Green: "Some ass fondler gave a grant to study this over-rated excrement?"
M. Tully: "It's awful senseless shit! Expect very little talent there!"
O. bin Laden: "Suffer, troll! 135,223,001 curses on the infidel!"

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, December 2001:
1st - Larry Brash with:
The late George Harrison =
Singer: Altogether a hero.

Table of 2001 Winners

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