Anagrammy Winners by Allan Morley in 2003
All the winning anagrams by Allan Morley from the 2003 Anagrammy Awards.
LONG CATEGORY, January 2003:
1st - Allan Morley with:
You are Loved
I want you to know that there is someone who loves you very much. That's important to know in the "dog eat dog world" in which we live. We spend our lives trying to earn love and respect and somehow we never seem to "measure up". It's wonderful to be loved without reservation, without having to earn it. We are loved, not because we are good, not because we have lived up to expectations, and not because we've tried to live a good life, but we are loved just like we are... faults and all. God has put a high value on our lives in that He gave His son to die on a cross to pay the penalty for all our sins. He has a very high purpose for yor life!
After 42 years of struggling with the meaning of life and what the purpose of my life should be, I met a man named Jesus and He changed my life. It has been wonderful to be loved unconditionally and to finally realize the meaning of life itself. I'm writing you to share this love and to let you know that you are a very special person in the sight of God. He only wants good for you and wants to help you in all of your trials.
=
You are Hated, Unlovely Spammer
I want you to know that there is someone who hates you very much. Very, very much. In fact, I'd judge that a whole lot of people would find these unsolicited words less of an invitation to salvation, and more of a potential reason to organize harsh, ungodly deeds that involve gleefully flogging your obese anal end and misshapen thighs with a huge wooden club.
Don't get me wrong, it's not your views I have a problem with - I've been a faithful and devout follower of Jesus my whole life. However, to invade and pollute inboxes with ANY unsolicited view, good or bad, is altogether inconsiderate, wearisome, often repulsive and villainous. Even televangelists wouldn't stoop so low.
Anyway, it defeats the purpose altogether. In essence, your futile digital entreaties are far more likely to turn secular people further away from God than vice versa, which as a believer I take offense at. Now frankly, I hope you have the opportunity to go and see God sooner rather than later - though I somewhat doubt He'd want you now.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, February 2003:
1st - Allan Morley with:
Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask) =
Wise textbook does analyse every awkward thing about a fun way to rut.
GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2003:
1st - Allan Morley with:
Vegetarian meals =
Never get a salami.
RUDE CATEGORY, April 2003:
1st - Allan Morley with:
A Penthouse centerfold =
Cunt of one stapled here.
GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2003:
1st - Allan Morley with:
Cigarette addiction =
I did it to get a cancer.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, July 2003:
1st - Allan Morley with:
The Apple Macintosh =
I plan to shame the PC.
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