Anagrammy Winners by David Bourke in 2004
All the winning anagrams by David Bourke from the 2004 Anagrammy Awards.
GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2004:
3rd - David Bourke with:
Meal for one ~
for me, alone.
GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2004:
1st - David Bourke with:
Pure animal lust =
Natural impulse.
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, March 2004:
1st - David Bourke with:
That is *a* way...another's ammo through his chest!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, April 2004:
1st - David Bourke with:
The RSPCA (The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) =
If (in error) a vile person flattens your cat Sooty, they help to catch 'em!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, April 2004:
2nd - David Bourke with:
[A "two-dimensional" anagram using all the (non-blank) Scrabble®
tiles on a Scrabble® board, making a sentence as you follow the words from top-left
to bottom-right.]
AAAAAAAAA BB CC DDDD EEEEEEEEEEEE FF GGG
HH IIIIIIIII J K LLLL MM NNNNNN OOOOOOOO
PP Q RRRRRR SSSS TTTTTT UUUU VV WW X YY Z
=
(Opinion: Our square Scrabble boards are extreme,
too-crazed game places steady and tedious halfwits, we
all have, via fine fun, enjoying win with the ego OK).
LONG CATEGORY, May 2004:
1st - David Bourke with:
I, George Walker Bush, do solemnly swear that
I will faithfully execute the office of President
of the United States and will, to the best of my
ability, preserve, protect, and defend the
Constitution of the United States
=
I, Tony Blair, swear I will ignore the wishes of
the electorate, veto, not listen, feed the media
tittle-tattle/hype, suck up to Bush, fix-up student
fees, defeat the lefties, and stuff Gordon Brown.
Democracy? Totally finished!
GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2004:
1st - David Bourke with:
A domestic housecat =
Does it catch a mouse?
LONG CATEGORY, July 2004:
1st - David Bourke with:
"I think I did something for the worst possible reason
- just because I could. I think that's the most, just
about the most morally indefensible reason that anybody
could have for doing anything. When you do something
just because you could. I've thought about it a lot.
And there are lots of more sophisticated explanations,
more complicated psychological explanations. But none
of them are an excuse. Only a fool does not look to
explain his mistakes."
- William Jefferson Clinton
=
I toppled Saddam Hussein "just because I could". That's
the best excuse I can think of. OK, so no major "weapons
of mass destruction" were found, exactly. Many U.S.
military innocently lost their lives to buy oil. So? I
feel Baghdad is now a safer place. No, I haven't thought
it through at all. Others did. It seems to them that the
only possible explanation's that I'm congenitally one damn
'stoopid' fool. Officially moronic in the extreme. A drunk
lunatic joke. Out soon, no job. Boo hoo!
- George Bush
SPECIAL CATEGORY, August 2004:
1st - David Bourke with:
PREPARING FOR EMERGENCIES: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2004:
1st - David Bourke with:
The Presidential election =
Select the perennial idiot!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2004:
2nd - David Bourke with:
Piano Man
GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2004:
1st - David Bourke with:
The cosmetic dental practitioner =
I implant nice teeth at record cost.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2004:
1st - David Bourke with:
A Christmas number one ~
means abhorrent music.
LONG CATEGORY, November 2004:
1st - David Bourke with:
A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.
The bartender says, "But you're a duck."
"Yep, that is very true," says the duck.
"And you talk, too!" exclaims the bartender."
"Indeed I do," says the duck, "I'd like a large beer, and one of your finest sandwiches."
"Certainly," says the bartender, "it's just we don't get to see too many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around these parts?"
"I'm working for a builder in this area," replies the duck.
So then the duck has his beer and sandwich, pays up and leaves.
One day, the ringleader of a circus comes into the pub, and the bartender tells him about his clever friend, the talking duck.
"Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "ask him to come over and see me."
The next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says, "Hey, Mr Duck, you're in luck. I lined you up with a top job paying really good money!"
"Yeah?" says the duck, "where?"
"At the circus," says the bartender.
"The circus?"
"That's right," replies the bartender.
"That place with all those animals? With the great big tent?"
"Yes, that's right," says the bartender.
The duck looks confused.
"So what do they want with a plasterer?"
=
A man, a flamingo, and a black cat enter a bar. The man says to the bartender: "Hey, I'd like a bottle of Bud!" The flamingo says: "Ooh, you know, I'd just LOVE a pina colada, please sir, if that's not too much trouble." The cat cussed: "Hey! I want a double scotch whisky. Buckshee. Heck, I sure ain't paying! And hurry, OK!" The bartender was utterly speechless!
The next night, these same three characters venture back in. The man orders a Bud, the flamingo a pina colada, and the cat a scotch, curtly adding: "Hey! Damn sure I AIN'T paying, OK!" Rather shocked, surprised, and pretty perturbed, the bartender can't contain his curiosity, and asks about these creatures (the bird and the very rude pesky cat).
"OK..." the customer says, "...I was out on the links yesterday, when I missed a shot, well crooked into the bushes. I went to retrieve the ball, there was this hundred-year old muddy bottle lying there. As I opened it - 'Eureka!' - out came this genie, who expressed he'd grant any wish I desired."
"Like, sure buddy! Heck, just what did you ask for?"
Red-eyed, he answers: "A pretty cultured bird with very long legs and a dark, tight pussy!"
SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 2004:
3rd - David Bourke with:
'Do They Know It's Christmas?' - Band Aid
SPECIAL CATEGORY, December 2004:
1st - David Bourke with:
How The Grinch Stole Christmas!
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