Anagrammy Winners by Meyran Kraus in 2004
All the winning anagrams by Meyran Kraus from the 2004 Anagrammy Awards.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, January 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Peter Jackson, the director of the LOTR series =
Three hits recreate Tolkien's Frodo projects.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, January 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Images from the NASA Spirit rover =
Impart great visions of Mars here.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, January 2004:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A Jonathan Swift poem, which can be presented as a riddle when its title is obscured, anagrammed (with a twist) into another riddle poem whose subject is hidden.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, February 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Director Peter Jackson's 'The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring' =
First of three long hits which respect the prose of long-dead J.R.R. Tolkien.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, February 2004:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Smart
RUDE CATEGORY, March 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
"So, would you like to go up to my flat for some coffee?" =
"To follow, I must see you offer a *good* ploy to fuck me."
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, March 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Collection of Tragedies by William Shakespeare =
Weepy as I detail crises of Othello, Macbeth, King Lear...
SPECIAL CATEGORY, March 2004:
eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
[I saw fit to honor the Oscars, held a month ago, by extracting all 5 Best Picture nominees from the same base phrase. However, I couldn't ignore the Oscar's evil twin - The Golden Raspberry (or 'Razzie'), an award ceremony held 24 hours before the Oscars which dishonored the *worst* of 2003 cinema... The winners are at the bottom of each set.]
A list of the five films that are Academy Awards nominees in the Best Picture category: =
A feisty MASTER AND COMMANDER gives life to the rich tale of the wisest captain Aubrey.
Why, I see Murray's bit as a cheap-act made the gifted LOST IN TRANSLATION more effective.
MYSTIC RIVER's genuine performances deal with that base idea of the state of calamity.
View SEABISCUIT, my imperfect-yet-fine racehorse that ran to fame, against all the odds.
A massive LORD OF THE RINGS finale piece, sated with beauty, came first at that ceremony.
A list of the five films nominated for the joke-award Golden Raspberry in the Worst Picture category: =
Big, tragic Dr. Seuss rip-off CAT IN THE HAT transformed that loopy feline we love into a mere rowdy jerk.
Another CHARLIE'S ANGELS trifle provided brisk joy of trampy women for the target audience of twits.
At parts of FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY, even the best 'American Idol' fan grew tired of its weird choreography.
The MTV-style THE REAL CANCUN joined the merry parties of Spring Break for raw footage of wild idiots.
Reporters' reviews of our winner GIGLI say that the attempt of Ben Affleck and J-Lo at comedy is horrid.
[Also, to make these a bit more appealing, the above anagram sets were shaped as the actual symbols of these award shows:]
GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A Siberian tiger =
It is a rare being.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, April 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The impressionist landscape =
This sad place inspires Monet.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, April 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The White House Daily Press Briefing =
Hey, I air the lies of president G.W. Bush!
RUDE CATEGORY, April 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Her best asset =
These breasts!
LONG CATEGORY, April 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Ironic by Alanis Morissette
SPECIAL CATEGORY, April 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
[A sample from an Astrology site, anagrammed into 12 weekly predictions. I don't know if it comes through, but I'm not a fan of horoscopes.]
(Quoted from the Astrodienst site)
Introduction:
Astrology sees mankind as being not only influenced by hereditary factors and the environment, but also by the state of our solar system at the moment of birth. The planets are regarded as basic life-forces, the tools we live by as well as the basis of our very substance. These planetary forces take on different forms, depending on their zodiacal position and on the way they relate to one another.
=
Pisces:
A keen Mars settles above the Moon, so Neptune and Uranus may soon be in a very fiery trine, but it's not as dirty as it sounds.
On Friday, strolling in the street can be fatal, so better stay indoors and clip the letters off of the cover of a magazine to create terribly obscene death threats for the neighbor.
On Wednesday, you'll find the answer to the age-old question: What'll my employers do if I toss them to the floor and breakdance on their faces?
=
Aquarius:
Three terrific events shall bless your essence soon, so don't be daft and drop that razor blade. For now, Neptune's position alters all planetary alignments, which means it's fifteen beers before noon yet again.
It's best to take the advice of someone close to you and try to battle the obsession for Dan Aykroyd statuettes made entirely of lard.
The mystery of the vanishing cat ends when you trace the odor coming from behind the air filter.
=
Aries:
Not only do you let loved ones walk all over you, you grant a bag of cleat shoes beforehand. Quite oddly, Moon retreats and Mars settles in - can it afford rent?
On Monday, a teensy surprise is to be discovered where it's least anticipated, or you can take what's behind Curtain No. Three.
Note: A family member's consent to stay off booze feels less than honest in light of their arrest by the FBI for the attempt to baste the President in French dressing.
=
Scorpio:
Do your friends find the tendency to glorify Astrology "senseless"? Order a Personalized Star Chart! In a minute, every one of these boobs will tremble at your feet.
Soon, you'll note that your red car has been dented. Beat innocent pedestrians for catharsis.
At work, it seems that a 'confidant' has been squealing to the boss, so follow them around and take notes. If they spot it, baffle them by imitating a ferret, then advance on them assertively.
=
Sagittarius:
Do you often question horoscopes' earnestness? Order the Personalized Star Chart to destroy all brain matter left.
An instance that involves a red Toyota's steel fenders has benefits, no need to be frightened!
At work, a feeble-brained buffoon from your floor, at which you nodded maybe once, starts to stalk you, often settling behind the pillar by the elevators and emitting insane noises. If they come any closer, spray them with mace.
=
Gemini:
On Monday, it seems that Venus, affected by the Moon, shall retire to London, set up a toffee store and regress idly into senility.
Hobbies: In a bizarre turn of events, trying to dabble in Oriental stencil art shall set off an epidemic of yeast infections across North Dakota. You'll soon start to wonder if your seventh grade art teacher went for sarcasm when she heatedly equated your paper-mache tasks to "the best of the best done by Leonardo".
=
Libra:
An old flame resurfaces in your life, only to flee three seconds later, along with your mother's silverware and an autographed copy of 'Systems Analysis For the Incontinent' by the esteemed Dr. Typen Stainem.
On Monday, it'd be sad to see that Byron the Robot, created to conquer the world, is a rather bookish stiff that sports dozens of nose bleeds, but finding an attractive beret set of Einstein's valet in the flea market soothes you once again.
=
Virgo:
Your fate hosts bitterness, resentment and pain - Collect all three!
An amatory, flimsy offer leads to an unforeseen month of passion; that's a bit botched as one test proves that you're blood-related. Things slide even farther into the 'sordid' definition as it becomes quite clear that when you were a tender baby, they were bayonetting Nazis. Only some sort of freaky, stroke-inducing plan can end all of this, so you'd better do some research, fast.
=
Taurus:
Efforts to make deer season shorter are clearly done by the sissy-signs Libra and Virgo. Ah boy, I bet'ya that when the Lord handed out the best star icons, those seedy queers were last in line.
Soon, it'll be time to abandon UFO-spotting and marry the fondest of farmer Two-Toed Zeke's steers.
On Friday, cheery and ecstatic emotions blossom, till they prove to actually be the aftereffects of opening a can of paint thinner in an unventilated room.
=
Capricorn:
Soon, the ants and the rats will seize the entire flat; sadly, they'll take better care of it than you ever did.
Break the tense life of trying to bring Barbies and Cheetos to breed; Set off on a trip, but preferably one to a bolted institute. For now, the moon may retreat due to a squad of cows, dishes and spoons.
(So sorry if any of these are half-assed, even inane; I've lost my notes and had to consult smirches on my ceiling to summon the astral energy.)
=
Leo:
On Wednesday, you'll press the snooze button and stay in bed for another ten minutes. This may lead to your position at the Bagel factory being restaffed. Bereft, you'd enlist in the North Brooklyn Secret Cantors Clan for the Liberation of Iraq. After the clan's separate losses to a few tumbleweeds, you'd be stranded, sore and lost, in the Mohave desert. Salvation may come in the shape of Syrian officers giving the directions to the nearest K-Mart.
=
Cancer:
Certain events shall stir emotions, and may even lead to actions, but that's not written in stone. Annoying flyers on your windshield might boast too many barren offers, and theatres might boast profane sequels.
The color for today - Borscht-Red, and the active planet - oh, let's say the globe.
It would often seem that your life breezes by, like a 'Friends' teaser, yet treads on the same spot, like a 'Friends' episode.
Oh, and you're out of fabric softener.
GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2004:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Cigarette machines =
The aim is 'Get cancer'.
TOPICAL CATEGORY, May 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Olympic Games in Athens =
Ah, hasten! Gym is incomplete!
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, May 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Senator Kerry claims that Bush's foreign policy is "Ineffective" =
So sorry if I'm coarse, but try asking if the chief can even *spell* it.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, May 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A Tribute to the Month of May
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, June 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The American President Ronald Wilson Reagan =
A real moron, in acting AND western leadership.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2004:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
William Shakespeare's Sonnet 19
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, July 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Microsoft products =
Third of computer's cost...
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, July 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The new Bond girl in Lee Tamahori's 'Die Another Day' =
I admit, I had to see renowned Halle Berry in a thong!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, July 2004:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
If by Rudyard Kipling
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The DreamWorks Studio =
Our team did two 'Shreks'.
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, August 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Abstinence Education Program =
Campaigned to ban intercourse.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, August 2004:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A poem by Wilde about Shelley;
one by Shelley about Wordsworth; one by Wordsworth about Milton; and one by Milton about Shakespeare
GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2004:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A speeding car =
Daring escape!
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, September 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Ceiling murals of the Sistine Chapel =
Hail Michelangelo's finest pictures!
AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, September 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sonnet Number Two by
William Shakespeare
RUDE CATEGORY, September 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The bikini model =
"I'm, like, hot in bed!"
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, October 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The movie 'Apocalypse Now' =
How Coppola eyes Vietnam.
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, October 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Bill Clinton, the former president of the USA =
On reflection, I'd still prefer the man to Bush!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, October 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Microsoft Internet Explorer =
Expect online terrors from it.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, October 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Mad Hatter's question to Alice: "Why is a raven like a writing-desk?" =
Ah, I got it! I created an answer: "It seems the two have inky-dark quills!"
SPECIAL CATEGORY, October 2004:
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Shakespeare's 76th sonnet
anagrammed into a paraphrase (up to a point), its theme being the Baconian controversy
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, November 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The ingredients of a McDonald's Shake =
Gee, that's odd - a scan finds no 'Milk' here.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Remember me when I am gone away
PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, December 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
General A. Pinochet =
Great Chilean? Nope.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, December 2004:
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Paddy's Song (The Bricklayer's Lament)
RUDE CATEGORY, December 2004:
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The airport security guard =
Stretch a digit up your rear.
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