Anagrammy Winners by David Bourke in 2007
All the winning anagrams by David Bourke from the 2007 Anagrammy Awards.
SPECIAL CATEGORY, January 2007:
2nd - David Bourke with:
The Tale Of Peter Rabbit
PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, February 2007:
1st - David Bourke with:
William Henry Gates and Melinda French =
Really damn rich gentleman and his wife.
ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, March 2007:
1st - David Bourke with:
The long-playing record 'Dark Side of the Moon' =
Another old Pink Floyd gem...Roger's on the acid!
OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, March 2007:
1st - David Bourke with:
The Sydney Mardi Gras =
They may dress in drag.
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, April 2007:
1st - David Bourke with:
The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists ~
help irrational nutcases and crazy fools get well. Sanity ahead!
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, May 2007:
1st - David Bourke with:
It is better to say nothing and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. =
Proved by Tony Blair (at the long, monotonous "Adieu!" monologue) that that's the bona-fide truth!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, May 2007:
3rd - David Bourke with:
Tony Blair was visiting a primary school, when they were in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings. The teacher asked the Prime Minister if he would like to lead the discussion on the meaning of the word "tragedy".
So the illustrious Labour leader asked the class to give him an example of tragedy. One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend who lives on a farmyard is playing in the field and some tractor runs him over and kills him then that would be a tragedy".
"Actually, no," said Blair, "...that would just be an accident."
One little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff killing everybody inside would that be a tragedy, then?"
"No, I'm afraid not," explained the Prime Minister, "that's just what we would call a great loss. The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Tony searched the room.
"Look, is there not someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the classroom, a small boy raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "Please sir...if the airplane carrying you and Mrs Blair was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown completely to smithereens that would be a tragedy".
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Tony Blair. "That's absolutely right. And can you please tell me why that would be a tragedy, young man?"
"Well," says the boy, "...it has to be a tragedy, because it wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either!"
=
One day Tony Blair, who was out jogging along the side of a river, accidentally fell backwards from the bank, and, alas, crashed headfirst downwards into the cold waters.
Three schoolboys playing by the river saw the accident. Without a second thought, the boys waded into the water and pulled the careless Prime Minister out of the river, soaking wet. After drying himself off and cleaning himself up, an ashamed and rather embarrassed Blair breathlessly
exclaimed to the schoolmates: "Well done, boys! Today, you saved the life of the elected Right Honourable Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland...a heroic, unselfish achievement! It's extremely important that you all get a reward...you each deserved it. You name it, and
I shall give it to you!"
"Well, I'd like some new trainers...some Nike Air Turbos," the first boy said.
"Of course. I shall go and buy them myself. In fact, allow me to present them to you in my Downing Street headquarters!" gabbled the grateful Blair.
The second boy said, excitedly, "Please Tony, I'd very much like a ticket to go on vacation in Disneyland Florida!"
"Fantastic! I shall personally hand it to you," said Mr. Blair, beaming.
"I want a wheelchair" said the third boy.
"Certainly! No problems, I shall personally get one, and...like, just a minute...you're not handicapped!", Blair exclaimed, aghast.
"Well, no...but I will be when my dad finds out that I saved you from drowning, you useless little bastard!"
GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2007:
1st - David Bourke with:
Breastfeeding in public places =
Presenting babies a filled C-cup!
SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2007:
3rd - David Bourke with:
My Favorite Things
MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, November 2007:
1st - David Bourke with:
Britney Spears lost her virginity at fourteen years old =
Noisy stereotype trailer-trash duly given a first boner!
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