Anagrammy Winners by Andrew Brehaut

All the winning anagrams by Andrew Brehaut from the Anagrammy Awards.

GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
A watched pot never boils =
Observe the cold pan....wait!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Metamorphosis =
Promises a moth.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, August 2006:
Eq2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Undisputed Top Eleven Reasons Not to Fire Donald Rumsfeld.

11. The ongoing and eccentric fear of absolute retribution.

10. His epic written memoirs say he was the only collaborator of the captain's orders.

9. He knows where the all bodies are rumoured to have been buried and what specific parts have been removed to keep Dick Cheney alive.

8. That the administration's investigation of Abu Ghraib only justified fault with the "Office of The Secretary of Defense," so it's really got to be the damn building's fault.

7. Donald Rumsfeld is one of the few people with a portfolio in the entire administration with actual military service (albeit non-combat) and he is needed for credibility.

6. As George Dubya always says: You can't blame the good guy in the big leather seat for the bad behaviour of his bloody subordinates.

5. He's the best hitter on the George's Dubya's administrations' softball team.

4. He only approved the uses of erotic torture that he wants applied to his very own body and mind.

3. The staff need to keep Donald Rumsfeld around to take the hard rap for some really bad stuff that is to be revealed.

2. Hasn't he suffered enough already?

1. If anyone in the administration loses his job, those damn Jihadi Muslim terrorists would have won the war.


=

The Undisputed Top Eleven Other Pathetic Things Dubya Bush Did While Hosting a Special Screening of the Film "United Ninety-Three."


11. Tried hard to fully remember what he was doing when they heard the very abominable news of all the plane hijacks.

10. Telephoned everyone to foolproof the administration's fictitious and old official story.

9. Boosted up his deteriotarive poll numbers through promotional bribery.

8. Stayed out of the esteemed and old Mr Cheney's way.

7. Thought about if JuJu Fruits are essentially made by anti-semitic voodoo businesses.

6. Waited for the agreeable movie star Harrison Ford to save the day.

5. Persevered with trying out different moves onto an undefended and tense rookie, Condi Rice.

4. Intermittently blubbered a babyish and obsolete warning like "O! Look out!" at the screen.

3. Resolved irrefutably that his flight-suit is less pleasurable after a couple of hours in a theatre than it was after a few minutes flight across San Diego Harbor.

2. Wondered what the hell had happened to that damn ambassador Osama Bin Laden.

1. Edited storyboard in his notebook for a beaut movie idea called, "Stay Out of Harm's Way." that defended his specific Nine-Eleven flights from Sarasota to Offutt Air Force Base to Washington, D.C.

GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2006:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned =
Her hormones can kill any who default!

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, October 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Captain James T Kirk of the Starship Enterprise =
The finest skipper in Star Trek, a major space hit.

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, October 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The President of the United States of America =
Incompetent, hated head of state terrifies us.

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, October 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
A ham sandwich goes into a bar and the bartender declares "We don't serve any food here." =
A horse wandered into a bar. Soon the bartender came, served and said "Why the long face?"

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, October 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Genesis

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Pirates of the Caribbean Two: Dead Man's Chest =
Sparrow's team does find cabinet at the beach.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 2006:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
A Recipe for Eggs Benedict

INGREDIENTS

4 egg yolks
3.5 tablespoons lemon juice
A pinch ground white pepper
0.125 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon of water
1 cup butter, melted
1.25 teaspoon salt
8 white eggs
1 tspn distilled white vinegar
8 strips of Canadian-style bacon
4 English muffins, split
2 tablespoons of softened butter

METHOD

To Make Hollandaise Sauce:

1. Fill the bottom of a double boiler part-way with water. Make sure that the water does not touch the top pan.
2. Bring water to a gentle simmer.
3. In the top of a double boiler, whisk together all egg yolks, lemon juice, white pepper, Worcestershire sauce, and one tablespoon water.
4. Add in the melted butter to an egg yolk mixture 1 or 2 tablespoons at a time while whisking yolks constantly. If hollandaise begins to get too thick, then add on a teaspoon or two of hot water.
5. Continue whisking until all of the butter is incorporated in the mix.
6. Whisk in the salt, then remove from heat.
7. Place a lid on pan to keep sauce warm.
8. Preheat oven on broiler setting.

To Poach Eggs:

8. Fill a large saucepan with 3 inches of water.
9. Bring water to a gentle simmer, then add vinegar.
10. Carefully break eggs into simmering water, and allow to cook for 2 1/2 to 3 minutes. Yolks should still be soft in center.
11. Remove eggs from water with a slotted spoon and set on a warm plate .
12. While eggs are poaching, brown the bacon in a medium skillet over medium-high heat and toast the English muffins on a baking sheet under the broiler.
13. Spread toasted muffins with a line of softened melted butter, and top each one with a slice of bacon, followed by one poached egg.
14. Place 2 muffins on each plate and drizzle with hollandaise sauce.
15. Sprinkle with chopped chives and serve immediately.

=

Recipe for Disaster from Andrew Brehaut's Cookbook

INGREDIENTS

1 US President
1 Pathetic British Hobgoblin
1 Little Australian Whippet
1 Saudi Child
2 Towers
4 United Airlines Planes
1 Fundamental Political Group
1 War Torn Nation
1 Oil Rich Nation
123 458 US Personnel
60 111 580 Unsuspecting Civilians

METHOD

To make super power:

1. Make two towers promoting values of hedonism to the world.
2. Elect to the Whitehouse a hotheaded madman whose famed feeble cowboy dad was pathetic.
3. Make sure he has a southern drawl and intelligence way less than a sock.
4. Add huge shot of 'short man syndrome".

To make Islamic Fundamentalist:

5. Raise newborn Saudi child.
6. Reject from rich family.
7. Transfer child to war torn nation.
8. Teach radical ideologies of the Koran on the way.
9. Allow teenage fellow to grow into western hating Muslim.

Creating the Conflict:

10. Get grown fundamentalist to coach young pledgees to be extreme Anglophobes.
11. Emigrate these foreign pledgees to Boston.
12. Let excitable pledgees integrate into US society.
13. Get pledgees to flight lessons.
14. Somehow get on and hijack United Airline flights.
15. Blow up awesome landmarks with the planes.

Starting the apocalypse:

16. Write emotive keynote speech with thoughts of revenge for the president.
17. Piggyback bedfellows (hobgoblin and whippet) to battle.
18. Release 123 458 "peacekeeping" troops to seize outmatched nation that happens to have bankrupt Muslim government.
19. Bomb thousands of weak gentle people.
20. Engineer transfer of awful blooDavid Bourkeath to overpopulated oil rich country.
21. Repeat bombing of thousands of weak gentle people.
22. Keep fighting non-winnable battle.


It is foreseeable that this battle will break Vietnam's record as the craziest war of all time.

GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2007:
eq3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Shapely girl =
Largely hips.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Three Pyramids of the Giza Necropolis =
Head for Egypt's prime historical zone.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, February 2007:
2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
'My Country' by Dorothea Mackellar

GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Grieves at ~
grave site.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, March 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Israel contains ~
racial tensions.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, March 2007:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Seven Haikus Anagrammed

LONG CATEGORY, April 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Dash by Linda Ellis

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, July 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
West Holland =
The lowlands.

 

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, July 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The New Seven Wonders of the World
1. Brazil's Statue of Christ Redeemer
2. Peru's Machu Picchu
3. Mexico's Chichen Itza pyramid
4. The Great Wall of China
5. Jordan's Petra
6. The Colosseum in Rome
7. India's Taj Mahal

=

Meet Seven Famous Heads

1. Exotic Mahatma Ghandi
2. Sacred Jesus Christ
3. Compact Friedrich Nietzsche
4. War-wooer Adolf Hitler
5. Armoured Winston Churchill
6. Smart Albert Einstein
7. Wheezy Pope John Paul

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, July 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Inauguration Speech by George Bush

GENERAL CATEGORY, August 2007:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
A plea of temporary insanity =
Attorney: "I apply for amnesia."

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
These Boots are Made for Walkin' =
Footwearin' dame trashes bloke.

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, August 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Charles, The Prince of Wales =
Aware of the Spencer's chill.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, September 2007:
2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Germanic physicist Albert Einstein =
Elite brainy scientist phrasing e=mc...

 

RUDE CATEGORY, October 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
A silent fart =
An art itself!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, November 2007:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
British Telecom Company's customer service line. =
Mercy! Victim's ear is sore but no client help comes!

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Spice Girls reunion =
This "reopening" is cruel.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Hillary for President =
Her friends payroll it.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, December 2007:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Night Before Christmas

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, January 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
William Shakespeare's "The Tempest" =
Will's theme is "Sea keeps them apart!"

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, January 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Democrat Senator Barack Hussein Obama =
A rare, honest American asked to combat Bush.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, January 2008:
3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Material Girl

GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
A Monday morning =
Man in angry mood.

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, February 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Venus de Milo sculpture from Ancient Greece =
Item's got centre place in French Musee du Louvre.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, February 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
France's Arc de Triomphe =
Charmed centre of Paris.

 

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, February 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The funny little groundhog
Digs a home in the fall,
And hides there all winter
Rolled up in a ball.
On February second
He comes out of there
To look at the sky
And to sniff the air.

=

Dear Old Man Winter,

Time is nigh likely to ease your harsh hold
On this one little plug of turf
And assign the unbearable and lonely cold
To the other end of the Earth.

Fuck off!

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, February 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Lady of Shalott

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, March 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The fiction novel writer Arthur C Clarke passed on at ninety years of age =
A Space Odyssey inventor left within a racing rocket to lunar hereafter.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, April 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Charlton Heston is dead =
The old actor ends in ash.

 

RUDE CATEGORY, April 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Childhood sweetheart =
We did her at the school.

 

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, May 2008:
Eq1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
THE ELEPHANT
Hilaire Belloc

When people call this beast to mind,
They marvel more and more
At such a little tail behind,
So large a trunk before.

=

The Sardine
Andrew Brehaut

Like all the local, small school here
I can't sob or move a fin
Let me breathe. Be a little dear.
Help open up my tight tin.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Macro lens =
Closer, man!

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, July 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
An anagram crossword puzzle.

GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2008:
eq2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Overwound bankers =
Nervous breakdown

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, October 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Rodgers and Hammerstein hit musical "The Sound of Music" =
Fond Miss teaches smug Austrian children to hum "Do Re Mi"

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, November 2008:
2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Man steps on the Moon =
One 'snapshot' moment!

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2008:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
US presidential campaigns =
Pleasing stupid Americans.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, June 2009:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Normandy landing site =
A silent morning then... D-Day.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, August 2009:
Eq3rd - Andrew Brehaut with:
Teen reactions ~
create tension.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, January 2010:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
McDonalds Restaurant chain =
Standard lunch to Americans.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, September 2010:
Andrew Brehaut with:
Pirate's goal =
A great spoil.

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, October 2010:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Saint Mary of the Cross =
History of sacraments.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, October 2011:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
The Apple founder Steve Jobs has died =
Dad's leftover iPhone just shed a beep.

 

LONG CATEGORY, February 2012:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
I was a very happy person.

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me .. it was her beautiful, voluptuous, younger sister.

My future sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini-skirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly wink and then bend right down when she was near me, and I always got more than a full pleasant look at her delectable private parts.

It had to be deliberate. She never exhibited herself when she was near any other males.

One day, my cute "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check all of the wedding invitations. She was all alone when I got there, and she whispered to me that she had so many suppressed emotions and desires for me that she could not deny.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

=

Well, I was in shock, and couldn't breathe a word. She said, "I'm going to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, come and get me, sweetheart."

I was stunned and reeling in shock as I beheld the jewess travel up the stairs. When she reached the top, the vixen sleekly leant over, pulled at her shoestring bikini panties baring her flawless arse and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there mindlessly for a moment, then reversed and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and maneuvered straight towards my VW Beetle.

Lo and behold, my entire new family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law to be hugged me and uttered, "We are very happy that you have resisted our little sensory test.....we believe we couldn't ask for a sweeter man for our dearest daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of the story is:

Always keep all your condoms in your car.

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, April 2013:
2nd - Andrew Brehaut with:
The intern Monica Lewinsky =
Whiter stain on my neckline.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2013:
1st - Andrew Brehaut with:
Giant hornets =
Another sting.

 

Table of All-Time Winners


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