Anagrammy Winners by Christopher Sturdy

All the winning anagrams by Christopher Sturdy from the Anagrammy Awards.

GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2004:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Week ashore =
Seek a whore!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2004:
eq.2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
No doubt =
Bound to.

 

RUDE CATEGORY, October 2004:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
A woman having triplets =
Won't ma split her vagina?

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, November 2004:
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Someone who says "rubber" in England =
Nobody's blushing. No, we mean "eraser".

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, July 2005:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
pan·gram (n): A sentence that uses all the letters of the alphabet. =
chal·lenge (n): An attempt at utter helplessness before that "Aha!"

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, August 2005:
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
A beauty from The Sound of Music

GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2005:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
A nasty derailment ~
meant train delays.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2005:
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Blowin' in the wind by Bob Dylan

RUDE CATEGORY, January 2007:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
a huge pair of breasts =
Ah, grasp for beauties.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2007:
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
What is the capital of Samoa? =
Fetch atlas to show I am Apia.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, May 2007:
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Lafayette Ronald Hubbard =
Bar that dreadful baloney.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2007:
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Please do not disturb =
Don't be a loud pest, sir.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, August 2007:
Christopher Sturdy with:
General anaesthetic =
The neater analgesic.

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, September 2007:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
American seismologist, Charles Richter =
Historic log scale term carries his name.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, September 2007:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
The Disney Corporation =
Deep in cartoon history.

 

LONG CATEGORY, September 2007:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls


AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

=


WHEN IS A WOMAN WRONG?
Man has often been critical of the fairer sex, yet seldom brave enough to point out a perceived failure, preferring to make remarks to other men.
Areas of particular contention:

1 driving
2 her parking
3 nagging a lot
4 her dear mother
5 A phone bill that totals over £155
6 at least 254 pairs of shoes
7 mascara/eye makeup
8 post-coital conversations
9 size of my nob
10 having to bear a grudge
11 soap operas
12 tutting at sport
13 channel-hopping
14 PMT
15 commitment
16 furnishing
17 her friends
18 handbags
19 chocolate
20 fellatio
21 pot-pourri
22 flatulence
23 not lifting the toilet seat
24 vegetables
25 anal sex
26 barbecue
27 mice
28 sexy underwear
29 rock music
30 DIY
31 her desire to procreate
32 musicals
33 eating
34 poetry
35 heavy metal
36 surgery
37 diets
38 road rage
39 a fat belly
40 eye-wateringly hot food
41 sobriety
42 attraction to a tart
43 daytime TV people
44 depravity
45 my mates
46 silent treatment
47 pollution
48 a total veto
49 all to pot age 35
50 pay

WHEN IS A MAN WRONG?
A woman is less circumspect and soon lets a man know she can't tolerate elements of his behaviour.
And those 'things' are...
1. EVERYTHING he says.
2. EVERYTHING he does.

SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2007:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
From a translation of Dante's Divine Comedy

GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2008:
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
See no evil;
Hear no evil;
Speak no evil.
=
Rash in love?
Ease in love;
Keep in love!

 

RUDE CATEGORY, February 2008:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
A lack of preparation =
A fool.. a prick.. a parent

 

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, March 2008:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
The first Sunday after the first full moon on or after the vernal equinox =
Easter's lunar, not fixed. I very often fall in quarters of the fourth month.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, March 2008:
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Sonnets are full of love

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, April 2008:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
[A complete set of Scrabble tiles]
AAAAAAAAA BB CC DDDD EEEEEEEEEEEE FF GGG HH IIIIIIIII J K LLLL MM NNNNNN OOOOOOOO PP Q RRRRRR SSSS TTTTTT UUUU VV WW X YY Z [C] [T]

=

Late one night over a board
I use one last vowel - reward
I'm banking 'zygotic'
exhale, quite erotic
and jump up, a fifty is scored

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, June 2008:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
The Democrats and Republicans in America =
Obama and McCain rule this President race.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2008:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
What is forgetfulness? =
Losing where stuff's at.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2008:
eq2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Antique furniture =
Quainter in future.

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, October 2008:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Bruce Palin =
Republican.

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, January 2009:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
President Obama - so good they inaugurated him twice =
George Bush - a dimwit idea you'd spit at more than once!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, February 2009:
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Press Control-Alt-Delete ~
and tell loser PC to reset!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2009:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Smoking can damage your health =
A toke on a cig has harmed my lung!

 

RUDE CATEGORY, December 2009:
eq1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
An utter poser I knew... =
Pretentious wanker!

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, January 2010:
Christopher Sturdy with:
A controlled substance =
Collect, snort and abuse.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2010:
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Nepotism =
Me in post!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2011:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
I abhor vegetarianism =
I'm against a herbivore.

 

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, February 2011:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Fly in a hot air balloon
Witness a solar eclipse
Learn to juggle with three balls
Be an extra in a film
Visit a nudist beach
=
Sponsor a well in Africa
See an Italian football match
Deliver a baby
Settle in Sussex,
Though with brilliant girl (JaneE)

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, March 2011:
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Spread your legs =
Red pussy galore!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2011:
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
At the confessional =
Halt to face one's sin.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, June 2011:
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Fruit and vegetables =
Fibre (and a svelte gut).

 

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, July 2011:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
"It was a splendid summer morning and it seemed as if nothing could go wrong." - John Cheever =
Phone rang.
Demanding mother-in-law just coming for a sudden long visit.
Oh, see I'm screwed!

 

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, September 2011:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
"Man would sooner have the void for his purpose than be void of purpose." - Nietzsche =
I've a hunch the poor souls who'd favour Emptiness above Hope do not prize friends.

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2011:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
To make the dish delicious ~
I'd use the cook Delia Smith.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, February 2012:
eq3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whose misadventur'd piteous overthrows
Doth with their death bury their parents' strife.
=
I reached once more this date in February,
How vivid is the hurt of last year's farce;
I looked to well-intentioned poetry
And with poor use, to fall right on my arse.
I suffer words like 'geek', their heartbreak throw,
It's rough I suffer from this woman's scorn;
Saint Valentine himself with Cupid's bow,
Could not have saved the love that ne'er was born.

GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2012:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Sticking to the speed limit =
This implied 'get no tickets'.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2012:
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
About three-hour set lifespan =
The usual for phone batteries.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2012:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
One with a mischievous sense of humour =
I have so much fun with someone serious!

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, July 2012:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
'Smile, you're on Candid Camera' =
Comedy ruse and malice on air.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, December 2012:
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Her fault =
Half true.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2013:
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery =
I'm the lad that you must control.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, May 2013:
eq1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Many courts call the man an opportunistic predator =
Commentary on Stuart Hall's inappropriate conduct.

 

RUDE CATEGORY, May 2013:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
A woman's sighs matter =
It's what Orgasm means.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, August 2013:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Malnourishment =
The norm in a slum.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, September 2013:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Air strategy =
Target Syria.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2013:
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:

Being old with mum - A verse to fifty-nine (which I now am)*

My mother died this date ten years ago
And much of me is drawn toward the loss
'X' is the mark of how I feel, to know
It meant absent or ten or even cross.
No child is wont to think when one is small
Each human life is precious but so brief.
Loss which occurs, have no regret at all
Let not the soul be e'er consumed with grief.
So thus can Sir, which art a reaper grim
Then rob the widower of his wife dear;
Unabashed job, horrid even for Him.
Raise the bowed head and face a future where,
Dare to be true, be quick, be good, be brave;
You're worth your mother's pride beyond the grave.

=

Sonnet LIX by William Shakespeare

If there be nothing new, but that which is
Hath been before, how are our brains beguiled,
Which, labouring for invention, bear amiss
The second burden of a former child!
O, that record could with a backward look,
Even of five hundred courses of the sun,
Show me your image in some antique book,
Since mind at first in character was done!
That I might see what the old world could say
To this composed wonder of your frame;
Whether we are mended, or whether better they,
Or whether revolution be the same.
O, sure I am, the wits of former days
To subjects worse have given admiring praise.

TOPICAL CATEGORY, October 2013:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
The brilliant, prized results: 4-1 Montenegro, 2-0 Poland =
Thrilled England supporters on to meet in Brazil, 2014

 

ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY, October 2013:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Life is like photography - we develop from the negatives.=
Rightly kept, this image of people who I love never fades.

 

RUDE CATEGORY, October 2013:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
"I can please her four times a night" =
Hearing it puts a smile on her face :-)

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, January 2014:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
The Dyson Airblade =
i.e. able to dry hands

 

RUDE CATEGORY, February 2014:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
I am instantly orgasmic =
Man against my clitoris.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2014:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Accident waiting to happen =
Tap-dancing on ice with a pet.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2014:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Twenty six letters of the alphabet =
Best of all, they shape written text.

 

RUDE CATEGORY, June 2014:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Kids are the future of this country =
In short, if that's true, you're fucked!

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, October 2014:
Christopher Sturdy with:
Used car salesman =
See, lad runs a scam.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2015:
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
The religious fanatics =
Cause I fight is not real.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, March 2015:
2nd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Happy scorer ~
pops a cherry.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2015:
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
She reveals the condom ~
and he removes clothes.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, July 2015:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
Trump's position... ~
it's opportunism!

 

RUDE CATEGORY, August 2015:
1st - Christopher Sturdy with:
A horse kick that finds the groin, man. =
Damn! It's a hoof right in the knackers!

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2015:
Eq3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
VI. Autumn Song

Now the leaves are falling fast,
Nurse’s flowers will not last,
Nurses to their graves are gone,
But the prams go rolling on.

Whispering neighbors left and right
Daunt us from our true delight,
Able hands are forced to freeze
Derelict on lonely knees.

Close behind us on our track,
Dead in hundreds cry Alack,
Arms raised stiffly to reprove
In false attitudes of love.

Scrawny through a plundered wood,
Trolls run scolding for their food,
Owl and nightingale are dumb,
And the angel will not come.

Clear, unscalable, ahead
Rise the Mountains of Instead,
From whose cold, cascading streams
None may drink except in dreams.

A poem taken from the series Twelve Songs by W H Auden

A loving message to my mother, Maxine Sturdy
September 2015

=

12 Terms, Gentle Mum

Is it really on to say that loveliness has won the day
If too much dreadful stuff occurs? I'd think it all rather absurd
If all is sorrow, horror, grief, dry one's tears, grit one's teeth
No one's even, all is odd, nothing save the fear of God
As spirits sank to sub zero; sad nadir reached, grim all-time low
Remember mum's love will never cease; son all thankful, on bended knees
Set out sturdy, kept going strong, cheerful laugh and sung a song.
Her life cut short, felt incomplete as an unripened sheaf of wheat.
Pub's now shut, landlord's rung time, wenn man fragt, sagt er 'nein'.
No beer, cigar or sugared tea, GP's max vino per day, 50cc;
Slowed down, becalmed, not very well, once Big C defiled a cell,
Maxi, I mourn a mother dear and so ends now another year

Table of All-Time Winners


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