Anagrammy Winners by Don P. Fortier

All the winning anagrams by Don P. Fortier from the Anagrammy Awards.

PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY, August 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
George Bush =
He bugs Gore.

 

ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY, September 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address =
Sacred martyrs bought land a blessing.
Oh, stand gently amid rags, scars, rubble.
Battles bred such grand moral sayings.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, October 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
The best laid plans of mice and men =
And sometimes blind fate can help...

 

LONG CATEGORY, October 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
=
Shakespeare's truly grand romantic love poem added seasonal themes:
Told adored maid how her beauty might almost shame that of Mother Nature.
Lush, really amorous!

 

RUDE CATEGORY, November 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
This is not spam. You are receiving this because you have sent me information about your program or opportunity and I appreciate it. I would like to reciprocate because many of you would like to retire, financially, within 6-9 months, as I will. Let me keep it short and direct. I have extremely valuable information to share with you. It involves a private club and wealth building along with asset preservation. The best part is you DO NOT have to recruit or sell if you choose not to. Just being a member will avail you to unbelievable wealth building tools and information formerly reserved only for the rich and famous. If you want to test me on my claim to retire with this, financially, within my first 6-9 months, do yourself a favor and click here.
=
Okay, irate viewers, I'll concede I'm a rotten bastard. I'm a bitch for this ridiculous crap on USENET. But I've received a lot of moolah previously with alt.binary files of me and a goat in "69" sex (a real rarity). Unfortunately the "69" biting has almost ruined my penis: his teeth chewed it and it's terribly ugly, and no woman will have me. And I use a powerful "GLUE" to "preserve my member". Pervert jerks will buy this stuff, but I hurt too much when I pee. If you want to try it, I'll provide you the name of every loony moron or flaky twit inside our circle who'll pay for that shit. Drop me a note. Ciao!
P.S. I really love sucking that goat, but I won't imbibe urine. I hate those animal control men or accusations of "an oral sodomy violation"... not a violation if I have consent, is it?

 

SPAM CATEGORY, November 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
Starting your own business!!!
Get Paid For Every Email Message You Receive!
a.. Earn CASH for every email you receive!
b.. Stop searching... Get email about your interests!
c.. FREE membership... Start earning money right now, today!
d.. Fun and Easy

http://www.sendmoreinfo.com

=

Accrue more of this useless shit!
You get spam in your e-mail forever!
a.. We get paid for your names, see? You never eye a cent!
b.. Program may set your browser to shitty site in Albania!
c.. Never get ANYTHING free!
d.. Deceiving and Embarrassing!

http://www.defines.moron.com

 

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 1999:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
Piano Man

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, November 1999:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
The Gettysburg Address

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, May 2000:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
The hit musical is Andrew Lloyd Webber's "CATS" =
I beheld a cast hiss, rub, claw, stridently meow.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, January 2001:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
Autoerotic asphyxiation =
I act out sex. No air? Oh, a pity.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, April 2001:
2nd - Don P. Fortier with:
"Are you the Messiah?" =
"Ah, so true. Yes, I am He."

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, February 2004:
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
The Passion of the Christ =
His fine path to the cross.

 

Table of All-Time Winners


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