Anagrammy Winners by Don Rogers

All the winning anagrams by Don Rogers from the Anagrammy Awards.

1st - Don Rogers with:
Eldrick "Tiger" Woods =
Stick wielder, or God?


LONG CATEGORY, February 2008:
Eq1st - Don Rogers with:
An atheist was walking through the woods. "What majestic trees do I see before me!", he thought. "What noble icy rivers do I survey! Such beautiful animals come before my eye!"

He proceeded along the river. As he did, he noted a rustling in among some nearby bushes. Turning to look, he was vexed to see a seven-foot bear on the attack, charging exactly toward him.

Did I say vexed? Of course he immediately ran, panickingly, as rapidly as he could, up the tortuous path. Looking backward, he saw the bear as it closed in on him. His heart beat frantically, he tried to run even faster, and at once he tripped and fell onto the rocky ground. As he crawled over to pick himself up, he saw the bear raising a thick paw to swipe at him.

Then the atheist cried out despairingly, "Oh my God!"

Time stopped.

The bear froze its motion in mid-swipe.

The forest was suddenly, utterly silent. ~

Then a very bright light shone on the man, and a Voice from the sky said, "Here, trespassing, you denied awareness of My very existence all these years -- taught children I don't exist -- amazingly, credited creation itself to a cosmic accident. I ask, do you now expect Me to just help you wriggle out of this predicament? Am I supposed to count you as a believer, as a worshipper even?"

Strengthening somewhat, the paling atheist looked forward, straight into the bright light, and remarked, "I see it would be hypocritical of me to ask You to treat me as a Christian now. But perhaps," he bargained feebly, "could you make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Ahhh... Indeed. Very well," answered the Voice.

The light went out, and the sounds of the park resumed.

The bear lowered his paw, bowed his head, and spoke:

"Lord, bless this food I am about to receive, for which I am truly thankful. Amen."

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