Anagrammy Winners by Jason Lofts

All the winning anagrams by Jason Lofts from the Anagrammy Awards.

SPECIAL CATEGORY, June 2013:
3rd - Jason Lofts with:
Anthem For Doomed Youth

What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle
Can patter out their hasty orisons.
No mockeries now for them; no prayers nor bells;
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,
The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;
And bugles calling for them from sad shires.

What candles may be held to speed them all?
Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
Shall shine the holy glimmers of good-byes.
The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;
Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.

=

Hymn: The Fight for Martyrdom

What pealing tolls for those condemned as bulls?
Is most hellishly angry gunshot.
Resonating trench gunfire’s deathly prattle
Detonates non-melodious laments.
Why no hopes go forth, no lilting orisons?
Pay no vocal remorse bar these, the choristers,
Their mad trilled echoes of howlin’ salvoes;
Trumpets blow in distress on far-off hillocks.

What tapers can be held to hasten all the slain?
Held not by brash youths, but in these orbits
How flicker shimmering god images of adieus.
Her pale forehead’ll be terror’s able friend;
Why, floral softness seen as patience,
Night, where mild days, wound down, end.

SPECIAL CATEGORY, July 2013:
2nd - Jason Lofts with:

Stufen

Wie jede Blüte welkt und jede Jugend
Dem Alter weicht, blüht jede Lebensstufe,
Blüht jede Weisheit auch und jede Tugend
Zu ihrer Zeit und darf nicht ewig dauern.
Es muss das Herz bei jedem Lebensrufe
Bereit zum Abschied sein und Neubeginne,
Um sich in Tapferkeit und ohne Trauern
In andre, neue Bindungen zu geben.
Und jedem Anfang wohnt ein Zauber inne,
Der uns beschützt und der uns hilft, zu leben.

Wir sollen heiter Raum um Raum durchschreiten,
An keinem wie an einer Heimat hängen,
Der Weltgeist will nicht fesseln uns und engen,
Er will uns Stuf' um Stufe heben, weiten.
Kaum sind wir heimisch einem Lebenskrise
Und traulich eingewohnt, so droht Erschlaffen,
Nur wer bereit zu Aufbruch ist und Reise,
Mag lähmender Gewöhnung sich entraffen.

Es wird vielleicht auch noch die Todesstunde
Uns neuen Räumen jung entgegen senden,
Des Lebens Ruf an uns wird niemals enden...
Wohlan denn, Herz, nimm Abschied und gesunde!

Hermann Hesse

=


Für immer so, nach oben

Blumen wurden welk und faul, wir junge Burschen
Wurden älter. Und fest im Leben stehend
Wiesen sie gute Eigenschaften auf,
'ne Zeit lang in Fülle, jedoch nicht für immer.
Sei beherzt, jedem ruft das Leben zu:
Bitte verabschieden, um neu zu beginnen.
Kühn und nicht traurig begeben
Wir uns in andere, neuartige Richtungen.
Und über jede Phase weht eine Hand,
Die uns das Leben untermauert. Fleht euch an!

Während wir durch's Zimmer gehen,
Soll kein Mensch aus Unwissen was machen!
Die geistige Welt engt und bindet uns - nein -
Eher uns fall- und stufenweise zu erheben.
Kriselt’s im Leben, sind wir manchmal zu stumm,
Einschlafen ist just Drohung und daher wende ab!
Jedweder, der zum Reisen aufbricht,
Kann sich leidigen Gewohnheiten entziehen.

Echte Mühe bereitet uns nur die Stunde des Todes,
Sendet uns Jungen in neue Zimmer.
Endlich ruft uns das Leben, nie endend...
Auf dein Wohl, Herr! Ade! Juhu, werde heil und gesund!

Jason Lofts

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, September 2013:
Jason Lofts with:
Here comes Antichrist =
The incorrect Messiah.

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2013:
1st - Jason Lofts with:
Cary Grant outed =
Actor turned gay.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, August 2014:
2nd - Jason Lofts with:
Low salaries? =
Allow raises!

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, November 2014:
1st - Jason Lofts with:
New York's weather =
Rather snowy week.

 

MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY, December 2014:
1st - Jason Lofts with:
Last six Presidents of the USA:

1. Carter
2. Reagan
3. George H. W. Bush (Senior)
4. Clinton
5. George W. Bush; and
6. Obama
=
1. Peanut grower
2. A "B" actor
3. Made cash boring oil
4. He had sex with a fast intern
5. Useless bugger
6. Negro's son.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, December 2014:
2nd - Jason Lofts with:
La Belle Dame Sans Merci
by John Keats


O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
Alone and palely loitering?
The sedge has withered from the lake,
And no birds sing.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The squirrel’s granary is full,
And the harvest’s done.

I see a lily on thy brow,
With anguish moist and fever-dew,
And on thy cheeks a fading rose
Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the meads,
Full beautiful—a faery’s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.

I made a garland for her head,
And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She looked at me as she did love,
And made sweet moan

I set her on my pacing steed,
And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
A faery’s song.

She found me roots of relish sweet,
And honey wild, and manna-dew,
And sure in language strange she said—
‘I love thee true’.

She took me to her Elfin grot,
And there she wept and sighed full sore,
And there I shut her wild wild eyes
With kisses four.

And there she lullèd me asleep,
And there I dreamed—Ah! woe betide!—
The latest dream I ever dreamt
On the cold hill side.

I saw pale kings and princes too,
Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;
They cried—‘La Belle Dame sans Merci
Hath thee in thrall!’

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gapèd wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hill’s side.

And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely loitering,
Though the sedge is withered from the lake,
And no birds sing.

=


Raising Bedlam with Mademoiselle Miley Cyrus
- A Sordid Tale
Jason Lofts


A deranged girl is on a wrecking ball,
Lonely and lewdly twerking:
An underdressed shepherdess
Masquerading in a string.

She suggestively licked a sledgehammer,
This degenerate Disney lass,
Swaggering and unashamedly
Showing off her ass.

With pasties plastered on her tits,
Half-naked, lewd and willing,
Young Miley gyrated flirtatiously,
Her followers a-thrilling.

Serenaded by Robin Thicke on MTV,
She twerked and enthralled.
Though others such as Will Smith
And young family were appalled.

We watched her shuddering in flagrante,
The dishevelled sweaty jezebel;
Brandishing a tasteless foam dildo,
A much desired titillating belle.

O how heedless and wholehearted,
She degenerated even more,
Middle-aged fathers and mothers
Called her a loathsome hoidenish whore.

O, her wanton naked tawdriness
Caused an infinite outrage.
Had she been inhaling on a hashish pipe
Before installing herself on stage?

A wholesome paragon of womanhood, oh not!
Bleating Sinead O'Connor was interviewed,
Entreated her to stop her deviant fantasies,
Uneffeminate, witless old Irish prude!

Once more, dear Miley, andante!
She twerked and thrashed away like mad,
Little did she know she'd created
The year's hottest new fad.

All together now, twerk it up:
Ooh-aah-aah, harder, ooh-aah-ooh!
A wild and fallen maiden,
The trashier the better, it's true!

(Refrain: Ooh-aah-aah, ooh-aah-ooh!)

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, January 2015:
1st - Jason Lofts with:
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards =
Shrill geriatric into drugs takes no shit.

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, January 2015:
1st - Jason Lofts with:
Codebreaker Alan Mathison Turing =
So that rare brain unlocked Enigma.

 

RUDE CATEGORY, May 2015:
1st - Jason Lofts with:
Peter violating Anna =
Vaginal penetration.

 

PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY, June 2015:
1st - Jason Lofts with:
Thomas Cruise Mapother IV =
He triumphs as movie actor.

 

Table of All-Time Winners


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