Anagrammy Winners by Paul Pan

All the winning anagrams by Paul Pan from the Anagrammy Awards.

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, June 2002:
3rd - Paul Pan with:
NASA pranks planet! Terrestrial men shot a film montage of "Moon Landing".

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2002:
eq.3rd - Paul Pan with:
Casting =
Sing, act!

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, August 2002:
2nd - Paul Pan and Nanaea with:
Over 3,800 anagrammed first names from around the world.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, September 2002:
3rd - Paul Pan with:
How boys 'rub at meats':

Bash The Candle
Batting Practice
Beat Off
Beating The Bishop
Beating The Snake
Beating The Stick
Beating Your Meat
Being Your Own Best Friend
Boppin' Your Bologna
Box The Jesuit
Burping The Worm
Butter Your Corn
Changing Your Oil
Choke Kojak
Chugging 'N' Hugging The Felicific Rooster
Clubbing The Uninhibited Collie
Draining The Mirthful Moose
Entertaining The Cunning Tidbit
Fiddling The Gigantic Guitar
Fist Curriculum
Flogging 'N' Drilling The Tittering Caribou
Flogging The Dilettantish Grouse
Frugal Auto-Copulation
Fulfilling Bubba
Gagging The Long Vivid Reptile
Gagging 'N' Grilling The Itching Terrier Bitch
Levitating The Amphibian Prick
Liquidating The Gleeful Sardine
Meeting Oneself Ltd.
Mutating The Cheering Poodle
Peel The Carrot
Pitching The Uninhibited Serpent
Playing With Dick
Playing With Susi Palmer And Her Five Friends
Polishing The Chrome Dome
Polishing Your Bayonet
Polishing Your Helmet
Popping The Purple Pimple
Pugging The Libidinal Mastiff
Punchin' The Munchkin
Ropin' The Long Horn
Roughing Up The Suspect
Rounding Up The Tadpoles
Scraping Your Carrot
Scratching The Itch
Seasonin' Your Meat
Self Love
Shaking Hands With Abe Lincoln
Shaking Hands With The Governor
Shaking Hands With The Unemployed
Shifting Gears
Shine Your Pole
Shining The Helmet
Slam The Hammer
Slap My Happy Sacks
Slapping The Cyclops
Smacking Your Sister
Spank The Frank
Spank Your Monkey
Squeezing The Burrito
Staff Meeting
Stir The Soup
Stroking Your Giggling Goat
Tame The Wild Hog
Tease The Weasel
Tenderise The Meat
Threading A Needle
Throwin' Down
Tickle The Elmo
Tiffing 'N' Miffing Mr Griffin
Toss Off 'N' Gnarl
Toss The Boss
Toting The Invincible Viper
Tug Of War With Cyclops
Tugging The Enchanted Beagle
Tugging Your Tapioka Tube
Tugging Your Toobsteak
Tuning The Antenna
Turning Japanese
Tussle With Your Muscle
Unwrapping The Pepperoni
Vacillating The Gargantuan Drill
Varnishing The Titanic Cane
Whipping The One-Eyed Wonder Weasel
Winding The Jack In The Box

=

How girls 'strum a beat':

A Night In With The Girls
Airing The Orchid
Auditioning The Finger Puppets
Beat The Beaver
Beating Around The Bush
Brushing The Beaver
Buff The Weasel
Carpet Bumping
Cat Got Tongue
Checking For Squirrels
Clam Bake For One
Cleaning Your Fingers
Clitters
Coming Into Your Own
Countering Cunts
Creamin'
Cunt Cuddling
Dialing The Rotary Phone
Digging A Trench
Doing Your Nails
Dousing The Digits
Drilling For Oil
Engaging In Safe Sex
Erasing The Problem
Fanning The Fur
Feeding The Bearded Clam
Feeding Your Slot
Fiddling The Bean
Finger Blasting
Fingerbating
Fingerpainting
Flickin' The Bean
Flit Your Clit
Fucking Without Complications
Gagging The Clam
Gagging The Lips Of Love
Genital Stimulation Via Phalangetic
Get A Date With Slick Mittens
Get A Stinky Pinky
Going Mining
Greasing Your Hips
Grissle Rub
Groping The Grotto
Having Sex With Someone You Love
Hee-Haw With Wrinkled Mee-Maw
Hitchhiking South
Hitchhiking To Heaven
Hitchhiking Under The Big Top
Jillin' Off
Jocelyn Eldering
Let The Fingers Do The Walkin'
Lube Job
Making Soup
Manual Override
Motor-in
Muffin Buffin'
Nulling The Void
Paddling The Pink Canoe
Pampering The Pussy
Parting The Red Sea
Pearl Fishing
Pet The Petunia
Pet The Pussy Cat
Play Couch Hockey For One
Play Poker
Play The Clitar
Play The Silent Trumbone
Playing With Her Pineapple
Playing With Mrs. Palmer's Five Daughters
Playing With The Man In The Boat
Polishing The Nugget
Polishing The Peanut
Polishing The Pearl
Pushing The Button
Pussy Soccer
Riding The Unicycle
Rolling The Dough
Rubbin' The Nubbin
Rubbing The Donut
Rubbing The Red Pussycat
Scoring The Hoop
Soaking The Whisker Biscuit
Spearing The Bearded Clam
Spelunking
Squeeze The Peach
Strumming
Strumming The Banjo
Surfing The Channel
Teasing The Kitty
Teasing The Tuna Taco
Testing The Plumbing
Three Point Shot
Tickling The Taco
Tiptoe Through The Twolips
Toggling The Bit
Tossing Pink Salad
Trolling The Bermuda Triangle
Two Finger Taco Tango
Washing Your Fingers
Wooing in my Crouton

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, October 2002:
2nd - Paul Pan with:
Communist Manifesto =
Not immune to fascism!

 

RUDE CATEGORY, December 2002:
1st - Paul Pan with:
Genital piercing =
Get a nice lip-ring.

 

SPECIAL CATEGORY, March 2003:
3rd - Paul Pan with:
It was heartbreaking to find out about the death of Rachel Corrie run over by an Israeli bulldozer in Gaza. What is troubling about it is that a young woman with a fiery personality would travel to a combat zone to put her and others in a very dangerous situation. What was Rachel Corrie doing in front of a bulldozer in Gaza from all places? Israel is an American ally and an American passport does insure a preferential treatment in that country. Unfortunately, when the bullets are flying it is hard to check the identity of a person. Our president, George W. Bush, has said that in a war "some unintended casualties are inevitable".

Gaza is the hotbed for the Hamas, Islamic Jihad, Hezbollah, etc. terrorists, homicide bombers that perpetuate the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. The demolition of houses, as unfortunate as it is, happens to be a necessary deterrent in the conflict against the terrorists. America has gone halfway across the world to fight the terrorist evil. Israel is fighting that evil right in her own backyard. It is known that Israel gives the civilians residing in the buildings an advance notice. The innocent Israeli and even some American citizens who were blown up into pieces by the homicide Palestinian Arab terrorists did not get such notices. The Palestinian Arab leadership has integrated the killings of the innocent civilians into their strategy to defeat and destroy Israel. This is a conflict that is being waged not just on the battlefield but also in the media. In fact, it is expected that Iraq will do exactly the same.

Activism is great! However, it must be combined with a good common sense of reality. Just because Israel is a democratic, open society with more reporters per square mile than any other place on this planet, there is no guarantee of safety when one departs for Gaza, the hub of the Hamas terrorists.

There are many other troubled spots in the world like Chechnya, the Indian province of Kashmir, Columbia, the Philippines, Nigeria, Somalia, etc., that require the activists' attention. However, the networks cannot afford the liability insurance rates that are required to sent the reporters in there. Consequently, the reporting from such places is limited and does not generate the strong emotions.

The late Rachel Corrie had great and honorable intentions. Unfortunately she channeled them in the wrong direction.

=

This pathetic propaganda blitz merits an anagrammatic retort!

The late Corrie's astonishing heroic act *was* quite disquieting and irresponsible; as are the shiniest heroic altruistic feats; as are outbursts of the heart during hostilities. Her antithetical actions contain the titanic, heroic, ingredients separating man from a beast.

Criticising her faith, her infinite heart? Let's not incite, taint, incriminate, nor castigate the victim: that is too irritating, acerbic, indecent a tactic, I attest, quite in rage!

No sinister mafia-chief institution militia shotguns hit or bat Corrie; no heathen Palestinian terrorist thief beat, stoned or hit her. She was intentionally throttled afoot to tatters, liquefied to death, by an obscene sadistic occupation-authorities' bulldozer tractor operator, a bitter, inapt eradicating *putz* sans IQ! Let's not lose perspective!

A titanic peace architect, a spirit afire, was she; a riant US citizen, a peripatetic tigress hit at heart. Rest in peace!

I present her swan song, an attestation to all those who belittle her act:

"I ...have ... few words to describe what I see. ... I don't know if ... the children here have ever existed without tank-shell holes in their walls ... an occupying army surveying them ... The children ... get me to practice my limited Arabic ... asking ... "Kaif Sharon?" "Kaif Bush?" and ... laugh when I say "Bush Majnoon" "Sharon Majnoon" back. (How is Sharon? ...Bush? Bush is crazy. Sharon is crazy.) But once you have seen the ocean and lived in a silent place, where water is taken for granted and not stolen in the night by bulldozers, and ...once you....spent an evening when you haven't wondered if the walls of your home might suddenly fall ... and ...met people who have never lost anyone ...the reality of a world that isn't surrounded by murderous ... tanks, armed "settlements" ... a giant metal wall, I wonder if you can forgive the world for all the years of your childhood spent existing... ... the people here are themselves or are descendants of people who were relocated here from their homes in historic Palestine ... Currently, the Israeli army is building a fourteen-meter-high wall between Rafah ...and the border... a no-mans land from the houses along the border. ...homes have been ... bulldozed ...I am just beginning to learn, from ... a very intense tutelage, about the ability of people to organize against all odds, and to resist against all odds."

(e-mail from Rachel Corrie to her parents on February 7, 2003)


GENERAL CATEGORY, May 2003:
3rd - Paul Pan with:
Fad diet? ~
Died fat!

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, March 2004:
1st - Paul Pan with:
Spiritual leader Ahmed Ismail Yassin =
An Israeli raid slayed him, upset Islam.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2005:
1st - Paul Pan with:
An equal opportunities employer =
I put some inept queer on a payroll!

 

RUDE CATEGORY, November 2005:
1st - Paul Pan with:
A fag + a fairy =
A gay affair.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, February 2006:
2nd - Paul Pan with:
The Twentieth Winter Olympic Games =
We compete in thermal tights, yet win!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, March 2006:
1st - Paul Pan with:
Heel claims ~
me, Achilles.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY, June 2006:
eq.1st - Paul Pan with:
The World Cup finals in Germany =
Champions win, feel truly grand!

 

RUDE CATEGORY, June 2006:
1st - Paul Pan with:
Penis reduction =
cut in one's pride.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, January 2007:
2nd - Paul Pan with:
Tony Blair's ~
a sly Briton!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2007:
3rd - Paul Pan with:
Firework displays =
Risky if spread low.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, November 2007:
1st - Paul Pan with:
Hard disc ~
did crash...

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, April 2009:
1st - Paul Pan with:
Pandemics =
Meds panic!

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, September 2011:
3rd - Paul Pan with:
Una famiglia =
Mafia lingua.

 

Table of All-Time Winners


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