Anagrammy Winners by Toby Gottfried

All the winning anagrams by Toby Gottfried from the Anagrammy Awards.

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, January 2003:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
Cartoonist Hirschfeld passed away =
His specialty: drawn heads of actors.

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, March 2003:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
Goldilocks and the three bears =
Girl had cereals, then took beds.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, April 2003:
eq.3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
United States Congress =
No guts - secrets instead.

 

LONG CATEGORY, June 2003:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
=
In the name of national security,
we people of 'freedom' (Bush, Cheney, Ashcroft), without an able ounce of sense,
just love to enter into agreement
to help our rich friends belittle democratic institutions,
toss out the 'outmoded' Bill of Rights,
imprison 'terrorists' after speedy secret trials,
defraud some deportees, and invade Iraq.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, August 2003:
3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
You can't teach an old dog new tricks =
Can't change our end - stick to old way.

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, August 2003:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
Gone with the Wind? =
Then weigh it down!

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, October 2003:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
Where is Saddam Hussein? =
Assume he was hidden, Sir.

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, November 2003:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa =
A smile adorns a vain old icon.

 

LONG CATEGORY, February 2004:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
Fourscore and seven years ago,
our fathers brought forth
on this continent a new nation,
conceived in liberty and dedicated
to the proposition that all men
are created equal.
-- A. Lincoln
=
Last year I listened to internal people,
and invaded Iraq to overthrow that Hussein character.
France ranted.   Fine.
It's about free oil --
no connection to democracy.
Don't no-one laugh.
-- G. Bush

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, March 2004:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
Beethoven's Eroica Symphony =
Oh yes ... by the Vienna composer.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, April 2004:
2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
William Shakespeare, the Bard of Avon ~
knew Hamlet favors Ophelia as a bride.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, May 2004:
2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
The President of the United States =
The nut pretends to defeat Shi'ites.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2004:
eq.2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
Enemy combatant =
Cannot be my team!

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, August 2004:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
The Republicans' National Convention =
Bush live on CNN. I note total, inane crap.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, October 2004:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
November second, two thousand four =
And we counted Morons-for-Bush vote.

 

TOPICAL CATEGORY, January 2005:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
The Second Bush Inauguration =
In truth, USA, once is bad enough.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, July 2005:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
Spaghetti & meatballs =
Best light pasta meal.

 

ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY, July 2005:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
A Steven Spielberg film: "War of the Worlds" =
H.G. Wells: Beware of visits from Red Planet.

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, October 2005:
2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
An apple a day keeps the doctor away =
So why not add a papaya, pear, leek, etc. ?

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, November 2005:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
The National Geographic Society =
A great lion photo is eye-catching.

 

AWARDSMASTER'S CHOICE CATEGORY, December 2005:
2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
"It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas." =
Tell Santa, "Come in! Bring those gifts I like!"

 

GENERAL CATEGORY, January 2006:
2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
Unsolicited commercial emails =
Mad, malicious, electronic slime.

 

LONG CATEGORY, January 2006:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
Six Jewish gentlemen were once playing poker in their condo's rec room, and one of them bet and lost five hundred dollars on a single hand, and died right there at the table. They fell quiet, and, showing respect for their fallen pal, finished that poker hand standing up.

But who was going to tell his wife, Mimi ?They drew straws, and Reuben, always a loser, picked a short one. They told him to be discreet, gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. He said, "Gentlemen! I am the most discreet guy around. Leave the task for me."

So he went on over to the apartment, and knocked at the door.

The wife answered, asking him, "What do you want?"

He said, "Mimi, your husband did just lose $500 at cards."

She screamed, "HE - SHOULD - DROP - DEAD!"

"My fine lady," Reuben calmly replied, "... from your lips ... to God's ears."

=

Back in the 60's, a U.S. Navy ship pulled into a town in Mississippi for shore leave. The Admiral was decidedly surprised to get this request from a wealthy cotton plantation owner:


Dear Admiral,

On Wednesday next, the Nineteenth, it will be my daughter's birthday.

We would like you to send eight of your well-mannered, good officers to a night of polite dance and Southern charm with young ladies at our home.

They should arrive at 8:00 p.m., on the dot.

And, please, don't send Jews.



At 8:00 o'clock on the Wednesday, there did come, dressed in uniform, eight perfectly-mannered ensigns - DARK BLACK. The woman's jaw hit the floor, but she did gather herself together and barely whispered, "There has been a dreadful mistake!"

"No Ma'am," soothed one ensign,
"Admiral Goldberg, he don't make mistakes!"

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, April 2006:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
The United States Postal Service =
Cost put aside, I have sent letters.

 

OTHER NAMES CATEGORY, June 2006:
1st - Toby Gottfried with:
The American Dental Association =
To attain each smile and no caries.

 

Table of All-Time Winners


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