Tom Myers

Anagrammy Awards > Literary Archives > Tom Myers

Original text in yellow, anagram in pink.

A song by Paul Simon.

"The problem is all inside your head," she said to me
"The answer is easy if you take it logically.
I'm here to help you if you're struggling to be free;
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover."

She said, "It's really not my habit to intrude;
I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued.
But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude;
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover,
Fifty ways to leave your lover."

Just slip out the back, Jack.
Make a new plan, Stan;
You don't need to be coy, Roy,
Just get yourself free.
Hop on the bus, Gus;
You don't need to discuss much;
Just drop off the key, Lee,
And get yourself free.

Just slip out the back, Jack.
Make a new plan, Stan;
You don't need to be coy, Roy,
Just listen to me.
Hop on the bus, Gus;
You don't need to discuss much;
Just drop off the key, Lee,
And get yourself free.

She said, "It grieves me now to see you in such pain;
I wish there was somethin' I could do to make you smile again."
I said, "I appreciate that, and could you please explain
About the fifty ways?"

She said, "Why don't we both just sleep on it tonight;
I'm sure in the morning you'll begin to see the light."
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right;
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover,
Fifty ways to leave your lover.

She says "You do have a problem in the bed I seem to see."
She offered to assist me, I guess O-so skillfully.
I've just laid behind and she took up the lead.
I'd bet there are fifty ways to please your lover.

It is true that I am not licensed in any way.
No science exists to back up what I have to say.
I pounded inside her pussy, for just under one full day.
I'd say there must be fifty ways to please your lover.

Give her a good lay, Jay.
Lick upon her twat, Scott.
No need to be slow, Mo.
Just you listen to me.
Deploy a nice toy, Roy.
Watch her go pee, Lee.
Just fuck up in the butt, Mutt.
Tie-up, seize, and jism me.

Give her a good lay, Jay.
Lick upon her twat, Scott.
No need to be slow, Mo.
Just listen, fuck me!
Deploy a nice toy, Roy.
Watch her go wee-wee, Lee.
Just fuck up in the butt, Mutt.
And let your sperms out free.

Her huge libido, it desired more than only me.
i.e. -- could I take her back home to Duke, meet in my fraternity?
And then all of us fine brothers would also finally see,
There must be fifty ways to please your lover

So she gang-banged fifty-five of us in our frat house that night.
But by day-fall her young pussy was no longer very tight.
So, soon, I began thinking she is O-so absolutely right.
I'd say, there must be fifty ways to please your lover.

Tom I. Myers

Return to Tom Myers Index

Return to Poem Page


Updated: May 10, 2016


Home

 | The Anagrammy Awards | Enter the Forum | Facebook | The Team

Information

 | Awards Rules | Forum FAQ | Anagrams FAQ | History | Articles

Resources

 | Anagram Artist Software | Generators | On-line | Books | Websites

Archives

 | Winners | Nominations | Hall of Fame | Anagrammasia | Literary | Specials

Competition

 | Vote | Current Nominations | Leader Board | Latest Results | Old Results | Rankings

Miscellaneous

 | Tribute Page | Records | Sitemap | Search | Anagram Checker | Email Us | Donate

Anagrammy Awards

  © 1998-2024