OCTOBER 2003 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2003


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - View with:
ABC is ~
Basic.

eq.2nd - Richard Grantham with:
Religious fundamentalism =
Defiant rage in Muslim soul.

eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Mental Disturbance =
Unclear mind, at best.

David Bourke with:
A psychiatric consultation =
Cranioscopy? That is lunatic!

Larry Brash with:
Unidentified Flying Objects =
Once filed, FBI just denying it.

Larry Brash with:
Psychiatric consultation ~
on an altruistic psychotic.

Joe Fathallah with:
Chat-up lines =
Cheap insult :)

Jesse Frankovich with:
Argumentative person =
I've anger upon matters.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The skateboarding hoodlums =
Some hard-looking buttheads.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Venus, Earth, Mars, Saturn, Neptune, and Pluto =
Planets turn around, maneuver past the sun.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Spades, hearts, diamonds, clubs =
Pass me cards and behold suits!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Self-deprecation =
Felt despair once.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The pianos =
Oh, a spinet!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The avian migrations =
Haste at moving in air.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Religious fundamentalism =
A God fuels men in ritualism.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Long-term relationships =
Man... girl... priest... hotel... son.

Scott Gardner with:
Man does not live by bread alone =
Lo! One bemoans a very bland diet!

Scott Gardner with:
Honesty is the best policy =
They note ethics, possibly?

Scott Gardner with:
Spades, hearts, diamonds, clubs =
Deals hand. Aces, so bids trumps.

Toby Gottfried with:
Internet addiction =
An idiotic net trend.

Adrian Hickford with:
Mass hypnosis =
Synopsis: Sham!

Adrian Hickford with:
Chemical formulae =
I'm a molecular chef.

Jaybur with:
Earthmovers =
Have tremors.

Jaybur with:
The politicians =
Itch to spin a lie!

Jaybur with:
Train delay =
Late in yard.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The enlargement =
Lengthen a metre!

sundogg99 with:
Elvis Presley found dead on toilet seat =
Fat, dissolute personality needed love.

View with:
Any suggestions ? =
Yes, gain guts, son !

View with:
The road to hell is paved with good intentions =
DOING leads to LORD, not "I wish it, even hope that ..."

View with:
Hot water =
Worth tea.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Jaybur with:
Italian Antonio Stradivari =
A violin is an art, a tradition.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Cartoons featuring Tom and Jerry =
Rodent runs from a cat in great joy!

3rd - David Bourke with:
The flamenco guitarist Paco de Lucia =
Delicate, magical touch of true Spain.

David Bourke with:
'The English Roses' by Madonna =
Her almighty nonsense, so bad!

David Bourke with:
The murals in the Sistine Chapel, Vatican City, Rome =
Catholic: "Is an achievement that truly inspires me!"

Richard Brodie with:
Bohemian great, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. =
An aesthetic here: a true, bold Moulin Rouge.

GOLDFERN with:
The Summer Olympics =
Prime my hot muscles.

Toby Gottfried with:
Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift =
Jaunt brings vastly fresh view to all.

David A. Green with:
Nancy Calthorpe's "Begin the Harp" =
Oh, play A then B string, perchance.

Adrian Hickford with:
Pierce Brosnan as Bond =
Inane 'Cops and Robbers.'

Meyran Kraus with:
"Popeye the Sailor Man" cartoons =
So, a real yen to promote spinach?

sundogg99 with:
Batman, Gotham City =
A mighty combatant.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Toby Gottfried with:
Where is Saddam Hussein? =
Assume he was hidden, Sir.

2nd - Jaybur with:
This year's Labour Party Conference =
Carry-on features Tony Blair speech.

3rd - David Bourke with:
The supersonic airplane Concorde =
Perilous, accident-prone? ONE crash.

David Bourke with:
The Staten Island Ferry =
Falters, shattered in NY.

Richard Brodie with:
Davis recalled on a strong "No!" to career. =
Arnold, an actor, is elected as governor.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Battle for California =
Certain of fair ballot?

Jesse Frankovich with:
The case against Kobe Bryant =
One-nighter attack, says babe.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Halloween costumes =
Now cut lame sheet holes.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Yankees/Marlins Series =
See a real tense NY skirmish.

Toby Gottfried with:
California governed anew =
i.e., given a farce, Arnold won.

David A. Green with:
Microsoft internet chat rooms =
So, confirm threat to minors, etc.

sundogg99 with:
The Terminator is now governor =
In short, overgrown marionette.


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - View with:
Tee-shirt =
Tits here.

2nd - Richard Grantham with:
The Family Planning Association =
I cannot shag many if I eat no pills.

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
The sexual positions =
I exult as she is on top.

David Bourke with:
Anal retention =
No latrine - neat!

David Bourke with:
Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger =
Graz asshole clear winner? God!

David Bourke with:
The production of sperm =
Scrotum piped one froth.

Richard Brodie with:
The usual causes for people contracting AIDS =
I fondle her ass, copulate. Crap! it's cunt-ageous.

Joe Fathallah with:
The Houses of Parliament =
Them anuses fail the poor.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Sexually extra-explicit =
Typical XXX leisure tale.

Scott Gardner with:
Beauty is only skin deep =
Pink, sensual body--eye it!

Adrian Hickford with:
A side effect =
Fetid faeces.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Sexual position =
So, I exploit anus!!

sundogg99 with:
The annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue =
Impulse? Sure, whistle at our sunlit tits and ass.

sundogg99 with:
For a bigger penis, take a pill =
Organ felt like a bagpipe, sir!


THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald's =
Cooked my order for lunch, and fast!

2nd - Jaybur with:
Nurse Florence Nightingale, Lady with the Lamp =
Recall the duty of this angel, helping men in war.

3rd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Spanish dictator Franco =
A darn rich fascist on top!

David Bourke with:
Camilla Rosemary Shand =
Silly dream as a monarch.

Larry Brash with:
Sir Roger Moore =
Egoism or error?

Larry Brash with:
Late Antonio Stradivari =
A violin? It's not a tad rare!

Richard Brodie with:
The late President Dwight David Eisenhower =
What deeds! The general is voted in with pride.

Toby Gottfried with:
William Henry Gates =
Hi. I try all new games.

Jaybur with:
Nobelist Shirin Ebadi =
She is bold in Iran, I bet!

Jaybur with:
Monroe =
No more.

Matjaz Pihler with:
The flamenco guitarist Paco de Lucia =
Flame, action - a pure acoustic delight !

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Italian composer Antonio Vivaldi =
I'm a poetic star on violin and viola!

View with:
Claude Monet =
On calm etude.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Hans-Peter Reich with:
Alpine glaciers =
Large ice plains.

2nd - Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Caspian Sea =
Asian space.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Norton AntiVirus (a Symantec product) =
Instant auto-scan on my corrupt drive.

David Bourke with:
The Tate Modern gallery =
Dangle motley 'art' there.

David Bourke with:
Massey-Ferguson tractors =
Rusty one gets across farm.

Larry Brash with:
American Psychiatric Association =
I treat chaos, crisis, panic, & coy mania.

Richard Brodie with:
The American Declaration of Independence =
Indeed a decent, heroic, free man action plan.

Joe Fathallah with:
The World Trade Organisation =
To gain orders to drain wealth.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The South American endpoint =
Note thus: I named it Cape Horn.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Pentium Processor Dealer =
"Please order in computers."

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Salvador Dali Art Museum =
Had surreal value, most admit.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Southern Floridian's Agriculture =
Orange citrus fruit nourished all.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Greater Antilles =
Enter that large isle.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Sky and Telescope Magazine =
Gaze at dim speckles, anyone?

Toby Gottfried with:
USA TODAY: The Nation's Newspaper =
Neat when it appears - Sundays too.

Toby Gottfried with:
International Business Machines =
It's seen in less human brain action.

Jaybur with:
Cussons Imperial Leather =
Our simple cleanser's a hit!


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun. =
See obese people eat a cocktail of canine tissue, beetle muscles, weasel nuts and chips.

2nd - Larry Brash with:
It is easier for a camel to through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. =
Something of a cheeky mistranslation there, eh? If not a fine animal of the desert, it ought have read "coarse rope".

3rd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Granted one victory in ease, authority is hereby bestowed to this immigrant, Arnold, to revamp California. =
It certainly is an interesting career path, to go from bodybuilder, to movie star, to man in way over his head!

David Bourke with:
The National Organization For Albinism and Hypopigmentation =
An amazing abnormality, if paler in toning. (I *do* hope to tan... no shit!)

David Bourke with:
Yang Liwei, the first Chinese person launched into space =
Yellow chap seen up in his shining craft needs rice to eat.

Richard Brodie with:
The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People =
I too have a dream, of fallen cocoa-toned persons' ethnic potential.

GOLDFERN with:
M&M's Chocolate Candies:
The milk chocolate melts in your mouth - not in your hand =
Clean hand & cocoa mouth - hint:
elicits more tummy,
hello tooth decay,
skin mourns.

David A. Green with:
"A Complete Guide to Learning the Irish Fiddle" by Paul McNevin =
To be sure, I'll find I can play at demented, piercing-high volume.

David A. Green with:
American doctors operate on the Egyptian twins Ahmed and Mohamed Ibrahim =
Handicapped minors admit: IMHO, two heads are nice, or better than a gammy one.

David A. Green with:
'Lectures on Conditioned Reflexes' by Ivan Petrovich Pavlov =
Fix event so every bell provided saliva content in pooch & cur.

David A. Green with:
"The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" by William L. Shirer =
Herr Hitler - it'll half-describe how his tin army failed.

Matjaz Pihler with:
Mercury, Venus, Earth,
Mars, Jupiter, Saturn,
Uranus, Neptune and Pluto
=
Pearls turn
in vacuum up there;
Just one sun
put Men
under star array.


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
[Office of the Press Secretary, October 24, 2003]

The President's Ramadan Message

I send greetings to Muslims in the United States and around the world observing the holy month of Ramadan.

Ramadan is the holiest season in the Islamic faith, commemorating the revelation of the Qur'an to Muhammed. This month of introspection provides Muslims a time to focus on their faith and practice God's commands. Through fasting, prayer, contemplation, and charity, Muslims around the world renew their commitment to lead lives of honesty, integrity, and comion.

Throughout our history, people of different faiths have shaped the character of our Nation. Islam is a peaceful religion, and people who practice the Islamic faith have made great contributions to our Nation and the world. As Americans, we cherish our freedom to worship and we remain committed to welcoming individuals of all religions. By working together to advance freedom and mutual understanding, we are creating a brighter future of hope and opportunity.

Laura joins me in sending our best wishes. Ramadan mubarak.

George W. Bush
=
[Translation from Arabic of the actual message]

Could the camel-fornicator that finds our memo please it along to the People of Iraq?

Hi, Arab maggots! It's me, Mr. G. I just wanna inform you of them funds heading your way - and of the conditions them funds involve. Nope, our dime sure doesn't come cheap. There's a reason we're the world's richest nation, and I intend to maintain this title.

First: Give me my nuclear weapons back. Our army slaved on them top-notch pieces of arsenal; Saddam bought them from America for a fair price and promised to trigger them when we give him the order. Not only this traitor didn't come through, now you are claiming this prime nuclear goodness disappeared into thin air? C'mon, Donald begs for his uranium to return - be fair to him, the man can't live without it.

Second: Does the phrase 'Christ Is Your Friend' ring a bell? Get used to it.

And last one: Capitalism. Nuff said.

George

P.S. Laura is curious: why would someone want to celebrate the Ramada Inn? She reminded me of that night we spent there and got a stomach flu virus from their room service. I think she has a damn good point.

 

2nd - David Bourke with:
'The Bagpipe: A Complete Tutor With A Selection Of Irish And Scottish Tunes' compiled and arranged by Pipe Major Bill Cleary
=
A: Calmly blow in it and fill it right up.
B: Prepare reed.
C: Attempt dismal screech.
D: In pain, go "och aye the noo!". (Or "bejasus!").
E: Stop it.

 

3rd - Richard Brodie with:
The General Assembly, Security Council, Secretariat, Economic and Social Council, and the International Court of Justice of the United Nations =
Let the elite club of China, France, Russia, England, and America join others to cut out contentious countries' tense, anal, idiotic, acrimony cycles.

 


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Mike Keith with:
A triply-true anagram

 

2nd - David Bourke with:
'Underneath The Arches' - Flanagan and Allen

 

3rd - Richard Brodie with:
An anagram of an excerpt from Othello, in which the names of some of the play's principal characters have been hidden.

 

Richard Brodie with:
From Intimations of Immortality by William Wordsworth

 

Meyran Kraus with:
When I have Fears that I may Cease to Be

 


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