David Bourke

Anagrammy Awards > Literary Archives > David Bourke

Original text in yellow, anagram in pink.

'My Way' - Frank Sinatra

And now, the end is near,
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.
I've lived a life that's full,
I've traveled each and every highway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do,
And saw it through, without exemption.
I planned each charted course,
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up, and spat it out.
I faced it all, and I stood tall,
And did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill, my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that,
And may I say, not in a shy way,
"No, oh no not me, I did it my way."

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels,
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows,
- And did it my way!

'My Way' - Gary Glitter

And now, parole's near,
And the career's gone for a burton,
Now my hard drive's virus-checked,
I'll start afresh, of that I'm certain.
I've had my whole life ruined,
I've acted in a shady, sly way.
At least I'll tell them all:
"I did it my way."

Rug rats, I've had a few,
Followed by legal intervention.
These days, I'm fat and bald,
And almost ready for a pension.
Downloaded a lot of stuff,
Off the Information Superhighway,
I know that because of this,
The law came my way.

I have done time. (Which I'm sure you knew.)
My record's sick, indeed it's true.
Through it all, I'd pose and pout,
A little time, and then be out.
In shiny ten-inch high-heel boots,
- I did it my way.

I have done time inside,
For hundreds of child sex sites using,
Now I'm off, with my head low,
Hand-in-hand with a chum to Thailand, cruising.
To think that I was caught!
(In an about-to-undo-the-fly way.)
Each and every time, I did it my way.

What is a nonce? What has he got?
- A bit of cell-time, but not a lot.
The hunt, the chase... that I have missed,
A shame, I had use the wrist.
In a month or two, out anew,
- I did it my way!

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'Underneath The Arches' - Flanagan and Allen

Underneath the arches
We dream our dreams away
Underneath the arches
On cobblestones we lay

Every night you'll find us
Tired out and worn
Happy when the daylight comes creeping
Heralding the dawn

Sleeping when it's raining
And sleeping when it's fine
Trains travelling
By above

Pavement is our pillow
No matter where we stray
Underneath the arches
We dream our dreams away

"Lovely melody, Bud. Do you remember when we first sang it?"

"Yes, Ches. We used to sit on a seat with the Thames Embankment behind us. You had a newspaper and read the headlines"

"That's quite right, Bud. I've still got that paper. Do you remember the date? Nineteen hundred and twenty-six!"

"Ches, read those headlines again.

"Ah, here's one. Gertrude Edderley, eighteen-year-old American. First woman to swim The Channel".

"Listen to this. Cricket. Ashes for England after fourteen years".

"Irish woman, Violet Gibson, shoots Mussolini in the nose".

"Oh! listen. Churchill's unpopular budget. Five per-cent tax on all legal bets".

"Charlie Chaplin not to retire".

"Second time in history, Atlantic flown by three Spaniards".

"Here's one. Death of Barbara La Marr, film actress with five husbands".

"BBC asks for nine shillings instead of seven-and-six for wireless licence".

"Hopes of return to penny post".

"Listen to this, Ches. Bookmakers in a bad way".

"Ah, that'll be the day, Bud!"

"Well, things are a little different now, aren't they?"

"They certainly are and if they keep on improvin' like they're doin' now, you'll know where we'll be...back again...

Sleeping when it's raining
And sleeping when it's fine
Trains rattling by above

Pavement is our pillow
No matter where we stray
Underneath the arches
We dream our dreams away.

'Underneath The U.N.' - Bush and Blair

Underneath the U.N.
No matter where bombs stray
Underneath the U.N.
We blast Saddam away.

Every night we sit out
On the White House lawn
Plotting Saddam's downfall
'Til the break of dawn

Sleeping hardly ever
Sleeping not at all
When planes fly high above

Dimpled chads our pillows
To God we nightly pray
To put scheming A-rabs
In Guantanamo Bay...

"...lovely tune, Dubs. Remember the night when we first bombed Iraq?"

"Hell, yes I can, Tone...when we used to sit in Washington with our countries behind us. You had that nice Alastair Campbell chap spin the party line".

"That's right, Dubs! You know, I still have that sexed-up dodgy dossier! Remember the date? Two-thousand and three!"

"Well I never! Wanna read some of them ol' news headlines again, Tone!"

"Ok, here...'SADDAM CAN DEPLOY WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION IN FORTY-FIVE MINUTES'...(I wish!)"

"Yeah, even I remember reading that one! Hey, listen to this:

'BIN LADEN ALIVE, STILL EVADES CAPTURE...TALEBAN REGROUP'..."

"I like it! Here's another...'SADDAM STILL FREE'..."

"Neat! - 'FRANCE, GERMANY AND RUSSIA EXERCISE VETO'..."

"Nice! - 'FRIENDLY FIRE KILLS TROOPS'..."

"Listen here, then...'SHOCKING AND AWFUL!"

'Not half! - 'THE HIGH PRICE OF THIS INFERNAL WAR - IN BILLIONS'

"Perfect! - 'NORTH KOREANS DEVELOP NUCLEAR ARMS CAPABILITY, CHINA WARNS'..."

"Here's one! - 'GORDON BROWN WINS AND HE REPLACES BLAIR'..."

"Ace! - ANNAN WARNING ISRAEL IN FRESH WAR CRISIS'..."

"And? Any real new news? - 'DEMOCRATS TAKE WHITE HOUSE"

"Hey, exactly right! Here's one more...'NEW TORIES SWEEP TO POWER IN ELECTION LANDSLIDE'...yes sirree! Man, those were the times! Heck, things are very different these days, aren't they, Tone?"

"Yes, they certainly are, Mr Reagan...I mean, er, Dubs...and if they don't get any better, we'll be...

(together):

"Underneath the arches..."

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Updated: May 10, 2016


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