MAY 2004 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2004


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome =
Enter and thus find my son dead.

2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
A knight in armour =
I am no King Arthur.

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Cigarette machines =
The aim is 'Get cancer'.

David Bourke with:
Predatory animals =
Portray ladies' man.

David Bourke with:
May I have this dance, please? =
Hey, I'm a naive dateless chap.

David Bourke with:
Rudeness for the sake of it =
Ask, it's sure to offend here.

Larry Brash with:
Satay Chicken and Pilau Rice =
Dip real cat in a chinky sauce.

Tony Crafter with:
WEB SITE FOUND, WAITING FOR REPLY =
Fed-up wail of eternity browsing.

Tony Crafter with:
A smoker's cough =
Gosh, muck arose.

Tony Crafter with:
Heart bypass operation ~
boasts artery pain hope.

Tony Crafter with:
Self-expression =
Person's sex-life?

Tony Crafter with:
Curling tongs ~
clung to rings.

Tony Crafter with:
Prison cellmates =
Close pals in term.

Tony Crafter with:
'Fortysomethings' =
Gosh! Y-fronts time!

Tony Crafter with:
Drunk and disorderly =
red, odd 'n' kinda slurry.

Crispy with:
Homesickness =
Seems in shock.

Crispy with:
Mobile phone ringtones =
No more bleeping on this!

Crispy with:
A dock had ~
a haddock!

Crispy with:
Sense of humour =
Oh, sure, some fun!

Chris Doyle with:
A cellular phone =
Alone? Call her up!

Chris Doyle with:
Grade inflation =
I'd get an 'A' for nil.

Chris Doyle with:
Sport-utility vehicle owner =
Twice-hourly petrol invites.

Joe Fathallah with:
Home Secretary =
Some treachery.

Joe Fathallah with:
Telephone ~
then elope.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Server-side security =
Yes, redirect viruses!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Loyal subjects ~
just obey calls.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Grenade launcher =
Danger! Hear "Uncle!"

Toby Gottfried with:
Capital punishment =
this plan can impute.

Toby Gottfried with:
Unlimited internet access ~
meant client in crude sites.

Toby Gottfried with:
April showers bring May flowers =
Wow! Spring bore fresh amaryllis.

Adrian Hickford with:
The dragon =
Hot danger.

JNC with:
The "LoCarb" Diet Fads =
Ditch Bread.....Lose Fat!

Meyran Kraus with:
A sense of humour =
Oh, fun arouses me!

Paul Lusch with:
Roller coaster =
Terror's locale.

Paul Lusch with:
Sliced turkey
Lucky dieters.

Paul Lusch with:
Crude oil prices =
Periodic ulcers.

Paul Lusch with:
Insurance agents =
Strange nuisance.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Fast break =
Far basket.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Gregorian chants =
Choir sang that genre.

Rick Rothstein with:
Born-again Christians =
Abhorring satanic sin.

Chris Sturdy with:
Congestion charge =
Accent is on hogger.

View with:
Last wish =
With lass.

View with:
Fashion designer =
Fine rig and shoes.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
"It's been a Hard Day's Night" =
And, hey, this band is great!

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Final episode of the show 'Frasier' =
Oh, weep - 'Friends' is also off the air!

3rd - David A. Green with:
The Sunday Telegraph Sports Section =
Thus they printed scores on last page.

David Bourke with:
The tenor Enrico Caruso =
So, a true hero in concert!

Larry Brash with:
Tenor Enrico Caruso
A cretinous crooner.

Larry Brash with:
Eric Burdon and the Animals =
I lead a northern music band.

Tony Crafter with:
'Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me' =
Elton tended to hum own song.

Tony Crafter with:
Westlife and Mariah Carey =
Wet Irish and a racy female.

Tony Crafter with:
Song 'As Time Goes By' from 'Casablanca' =
A name of Sam's bygone Bogart classic.

Tony Crafter with:
The Walt Disney movie 'Fantasia' =
His animated fantasy - we love it!

Tony Crafter with:
'Mr Nastase: The Autobiography' by Ilie Nastase =
A batty hero; big nose; alias 'Nasty' - umpires hate!

Crispy with:
anagramgenius.com =
Cor, an amusing game!

Chris Doyle with:
Tolkien's "The Lord of the Rings" =
Note: Frodo kills things there.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Olympic Games in Athens =
Elite champion gymnasts, eh?

Scott Gardner with:
Disney's Cinderella =
Is nice slender lady.

Toby Gottfried with:
The Athens Olympic Games =
Some athlete-chaps in gym.

Toby Gottfried with:
The last episode of 'Friends' =
Finale feted this dope, Ross.

Adrian Hickford with:
The French Open Tennis Tournament =
Henman runs in to the net. Perfect, no?

Adrian Hickford with:
The American Idol results ~
startled musical heroine.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes =
Sleuth soon checked any small horror.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
The actress Naomi Watts =
Cinema star was hottest.

View with:
Motion picture 'From Russia with love' =
True mush of virile patriot in Moscow.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Olympic Games in Athens =
Ah, hasten! Gym is incomplete!

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
The President of the United States =
The nut pretends to defeat Shi'ites.

3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
The Middle East Peace Talks =
Ditch deals, keep stalemate.

David Bourke with:
US Private Lynndie England =
Evil. (And, sadly, unrepenting ).

David Bourke with:
The abuse of the Iraqi prisoners of war =
Photo horrifies Arabs... we enquire fast.

David Bourke with:
Stockline Plastics in Glasgow =
Topical news: 'Gas' killing Scots

David Bourke with:
Piers Morgan, the editor of The Daily Mirror, is sacked =
More fake shots in his mediocre 'red-top' rag. Dirty liar.

Larry Brash with:
Abu Ghraib prison =
I bash or burn a pig!

Tony Crafter with:
The US abuse of Iraqi prisoners =
Bush requires a safer position.

Tony Crafter with:
The Deepcut military barracks shootings =
English army report. Suicide? Attacks? Both?

Chris Doyle with:
The trickle-down theory of economics. =
Note the cool story of wicked rich men.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Prisoner abuse scandal =
Unpardonable cases, sir.

Toby Gottfried with:
Odd Couple star Tony Randall =
And all respond duly to actor.

Richard Grantham with:
The roadmap to Middle East peace =
America pleaded me to stop death.

Adrian Hickford with:
The Champion's League winners, FC Porto =
Perfect win; three goals punish Monaco.

Paul Lusch with:
Windows vulnerability =
Obtain newly wild virus.

Paul Pan with:
USA Army Reservist Lynndie England ~
snarled a very sly grin: "inmate's nude"!


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Surrealist Salvador Dali =
All art's a visual disorder.

2nd - View with:
The astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus =
Space motion; our Earth circles Sun, no?

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes =
One sly hero shall crack this murder soon!

David Bourke with:
The Formula One motor racing driver Ayrton Senna =
In front, Imola curve, horror. Ten... TEN damn years ago!

David Bourke with:
Sonia Antonia Maino (Gandhi) =
"Oh god! I am in an Asian nation!"

David Bourke with:
Lesley Ash's lips =
Shapeless, silly.

Larry Brash with:
Roman emperor Caligula
Normal marriage couple.

Larry Brash with:
Gordon "Sting" Sumner =
"Me snorting drugs? NO!"

Tony Crafter with:
Dramatist Oscar Wilde =
A sordid, smart-alec wit.

Chris Doyle with:
Condoleezza Rice =
Coerce? No, I dazzle.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The sonnets of William Shakespeare =
A fan, I think these poems are so swell.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Second President Bush =
He sends the debt up; I scorn!

Scott Gardner with:
USA President George Bush =
Assures debt going up here.

Toby Gottfried with:
Charles, the Prince of Wales =
He felt place as Crown's heir.

Meyran Kraus with:
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes =
He'll use a sly mind to corner harsh crooks.

Chris Sturdy with:
Baroness Thatcher, The Iron Lady =
Sad that Tony Blair cheers her on.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
A McDonald's restaurant =
Standard U.S. carton meal.

2nd - David A. Green with:
Grecian Plus Gray Control Foam ~
May return color of aging scalp.

3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
Harley-Davidson motorcycle ~
calmly drove on the icy roads.

David Bourke with:
The Weizmann Institute of Science, Rehovot. =
Fun? None whatsoever, to the Semitic citizen.

David Bourke with:
The White House, Washington D.C. =
Oh God! Watch the swine in the U.S.!

Larry Brash with:
Coronary artery bypass graft operation ~
can repair party boy's sore or fatty organ.

Larry Brash with:
The Prudential Assurance Company Limited =
and minute rules meant Death Policy is crap.

Tony Crafter with:
Worm: Netsky.P ~
knew my ports.

Tony Crafter with:
The Asda & Wal-Mart supermarket chain =
What, I am a dual Marks & Spencer threat?

Crispy with:
Land Rover Discovery =
Very old car drives on.

Chris Doyle with:
The Volkswagen Touareg =
We gather, look, get an SUV.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The Chicago Tribune Sports Section =
Hint: I prognosticate the Cubs score.

Toby Gottfried with:
Los Angeles, California =
I call a long fire season.

David A. Green with:
The Dorset and Wiltshire Archery Association =
Incident arises: idly shot arrows at each other.

David A. Green with:
The United Association of Crane Operators =
So, does raise a ton of that concrete up in air.

Adrian Hickford with:
International Space Station =
Not an airplane (to a scientist).

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Russian revolution =
Oui, our Lenin vs. Tsar!

Rick Rothstein with:
The Prudential Assurance Company Limited =
Client orders 'pay in a nice lump sum' at death.

Rick Rothstein with:
The Medical Journal of Australia ~
held out a major Asian Flu article.

View with:
The Weizmann Institute of Science, Rehovot =
New chemists often active out there in Zion.


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
The late John Lennon, Sir Paul McCartney, the late George Harrison, and Ringo Starr =
In long careers, they all once sang major hits in a rather talented Northern group.

2nd - GOLDFERN with:
TAPS
Day is done
Gone the sun
From the hills
From the lake
From the skies
All is well
Safely rest
God is nigh
=
GENESIS
Let light effuse
OKAY!
Form the world
A hilly spa
Form the man
This his likeness
God's all done
Rest

3rd - David Bourke with:
The President of The United States of America, George Walker Bush =
"Seek Bin Laden!" He set out after Osama, he screwed right up. Forget it!

David Bourke with:
The Serbia and Montenegro Eurovision Song Contest entry, 'Lane Moje' by Zeljko Joksimovic =
Jeez, no! Come on! This song, just some Balkan joke?
It's one very boring drone! Me, at vote, I cry "Nil!"

David Bourke with:
The Sydney Opera House, situated at Bennelong Point. =
Outstanding boat-shaped eye-opener, then you listen!

Tony Crafter with:
'Don't sleep in the subway darling, don't stand in the pouring rain' =
Hit by Petula warning: 'No dossing under the road; it isn't planned!

Jesse Frankovich with:
President Bush recently said that Michigan roads need a lot of improvement =
And yet the Commander in Chief *vetoed* (emphasis urged) transportation bills?

Toby Gottfried with:
From the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli ... =
The US Marines zoom off to patrol this hot hell for me.

David A. Green with:
A Murder Mystery Weekend at Dunalastair Hotel, Loch Rannoch =
Amateur sleuths mean to try and crack who'd really done her in.

David A. Green with:
Hackworthy and Sons, the office removal specialists =
They come in a van to shift a fellow's PC, desks or chairs.

David A. Green with:
Ruslana from the Ukraine wins the Eurovision Song Contest =
So, Russian singer in tunic of leather won more votes than UK.

David A. Green with:
'The New Encyclopaedia of Stage Hypnotism' by Ormond McGill =
Becoming sleepy... dopy... then my God, how I fall into scam trance.

David A. Green with:
The Royal Horticultural Society Chelsea Flower Show =
Hear they cut a whole lot of lilacs or curly white roses

Adrian Hickford with:
Davy Jones, Mike Nesmith, Micky Dolenz and Peter Tork. =
It's "The Monkees" on TV: Dimple-Kid, Crazy-Man, Jokey, Nerd.

Adrian Hickford with:
Paris, London, Madrid, New York, Rio de Janeiro, Moscow, Leipzig, Istanbul and Havana =
Rival Olympic bid organizations now seek a dear, splendid win and a major honour.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Tarantino action film "Kill Bill: Volume Two" opens in theaters across the United States =
So, attractive blonde within it can tolerate more fists to the skull than a Minnelli spouse?


THE AWARDSMASTER'S CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Senator Kerry claims that Bush's foreign policy is "Ineffective" =
So sorry if I'm coarse, but try asking if the chief can even *spell* it.

2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
Earth Day: April twenty-second =
Hardy planet? We CAN destroy it!

3rd - Chris Doyle with:
Paris Hilton =
Hi! (Loins part.)

David Bourke with:
The leader of the Hamas organisation Abdel Aziz Rantisi is assassinated by Israel =
Easy Gaza death satisfies Ariel Sharon's bloodthirstiness, anti-Arab zeal in media.

Larry Brash with:
Should the Iraq War be continued? =
Hear a blended chorus: "Quit it now!"

Larry Brash with:
Mujahedin =
Menu? Jihad!

Chris Doyle with:
One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. =
Or one Bible nation, riddled with injustice for all uninvited gays?

Jesse Frankovich with:
The increasing war budget =
G. W. Bush created it in anger.

Toby Gottfried with:
The Iraqi Governing Council =
Acquiring oil, then covering.

Toby Gottfried with:
Special commission investigates terrorist attacks =
Strong testimonies critical over CIA's past mistakes.

Richard Grantham with:
Porn Company to Release the Paris Hilton Video =
Noisy lovers happen to procreate in a dim hotel.

Richard Grantham with:
President George W. Bush ('Dubya')=
Bugger washed up by desertion.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Kevin Garnett, player of Minnesota Timberwolves =
NBA voters may like new generations for MVP title!


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - David Bourke with:
I, George Walker Bush, do solemnly swear that
I will faithfully execute the office of President
of the United States and will, to the best of my
ability, preserve, protect, and defend the
Constitution of the United States
=
I, Tony Blair, swear I will ignore the wishes of
the electorate, veto, not listen, feed the media
tittle-tattle/hype, suck up to Bush, fix-up student
fees, defeat the lefties, and stuff Gordon Brown.
Democracy? Totally finished!

 

2nd - Toby Gottfried with:
The Statue of Liberty
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door
=
The Statue of Li-bush-ty
Give me your ire, your war,
Heated fears of Moslems help elect me,
Obey the Bushes: I need order - they restore.
Please, Egypt, do send demented terrorists to me,
I lift my guns high to send freedom out the door.

 

3rd - Larry Brash with:
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith; neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion. Defile not ye yourselves in any of these things for: in all these the nations are defiled which I cast out before you.

=

Leviticus 18: 22-24

Hate the shirtlifters, the gay bar ninnies, the rent boys. Don't simulate a ladylike fashion when with one's fellow men. This is a detestable union! We intend to do it while with hetero dames only.

No bestiality, eh? HELLO! It is sick! When one has a heifer, doe, buffalo, hen, or any sort of fauna, don't touch it in that sort of intimate way.

 

Tony Crafter with:
"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up; live out the true meaning of its creed" =
Martin Luther had a one-time vision: to value life, unite a race. Yet the sight's now dead. R.I.P.

 

Chris Doyle with:
I, George Walker Bush, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States and will, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States.
=
We, Karl Rove and G.W. Bush, do solemnly swear that we'll faithfully disinfect this here tainted office of President and, to the best of our ability, update the effete Constitution to help us to get elected next time. Yes, sir.

 

Adrian Hickford with:
Syzygy:
The straight line configuration of three celestial bodies (as the sun and earth and moon) in a gravitational system. =
It also means that amazing heavenly attitude is the astonishing coincidental synergy of our fiery star and other globes.

 


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A Tribute to the Month of May

 

2nd - Scott Gardner with:
[A loose rendition of Jesus' life in anagrams of "The Gospel According to Saint Matthew."]

The Gospel According to Saint Matthew =

[Birth:]
Chaste mother got digs at place in town [Luke 2:7]
O, we spot child in that cottage's manger [Luke 2:7]
Magi potentates, on go, watch child rest [2:9-11]

[Ministry:]
Cite how Satan tempted Christ long ago [4:3-11]
Theologian attempts teaching crowds [4:23-25]
Was teaching; that epic sermon got told [5-7]
Oh, no! Castigating crowds at the temple! [21:12-13]

[Last Supper:]
Gal tops head with scarce-got ointment [26:6-7]
Apostles gotta go catch dinner with me [26:17-19]
Iscariot gang now plotted that scheme [26:14-16]
Owing to tips, catch Lord at Gethsemane [26:49-50]

[Passion:]
Aghast, we got Pilate to condemn Christ [27:24-26]
Watch Pilate cage, hit, torment God's son [27:27-31]
Wept... Gang acted to nail Him to the cross [27:27-36]
We can depict His torments at Golgotha [27:33-50]

[Resurrection:]
Light... Women to accept that God's arisen! [28:1-7]
Magdalene wept; Christ to act soothing [28:9-10]
Watch God teach, noting apostles' merit [28:18-20]
Now then, come sit at place at God's right [Mark 16:19]

 

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Elegy for a Bachelor Uncle

 

David Bourke with:
The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores

 

Joe Fathallah with:
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

 

GOLDFERN with:
Invictus by William Ernest Henley

 


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Rick Rothstein with:
An incestuous act =
Eat a cousin's cunt.

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
General erotica =
A large erection.

3rd - Chris Doyle with:
Oh, it's Pamela Anderson! =
Ah, it's melons on parade.

David Bourke with:
George Best - 'Scoring At Half Time' =
To celebrate merits of shagging.

David Bourke with:
The lead singer in Bad Manners, Buster Bloodvessel =
Slender? In truth, gross, believe me! Bald as a nob's end.

David Bourke with:
Rectum pain =
Input cream.

Tony Crafter with:
Urinary tract infection =
Acute irritancy in front.

Tony Crafter with:
Sexually transmitted diseases =
Let's examine dastardly tissues.

Tony Crafter with:
Menage a trois =
An orgies team.

Tony Crafter with:
No excuse suits ~
incestuous sex.

Tony Crafter with:
Bondage and discipline =
"Bind gonads!" I plead. Nice.

Tony Crafter with:
Telephone sex =
Hotel expense?

Tony Crafter with:
'Sixtysomething' =
I'm sexy sight - not!

Crispy with:
Osama Bin Laden =
Alas, I'm a nob end!

Jesse Frankovich with:
Porn e-mails =
Impersonal.

Toby Gottfried with:
Extremely fashionable =
Sexy female in a brothel.

Richard Grantham with:
A sexually transmitted disease =
Latex stymies anus-related AIDS.

Rick Rothstein with:
Prison cellmates =
Cons still rape me.


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