JANUARY 2005 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2005


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

eq.1st - Richard Grantham with:
A breathalyser test =
That says "Beer alert!"

eq.1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Coins kept ~
in pockets.

3rd - Hans-Peter Reich with:
Astonishment =
"That son's mine???"

David Bourke with:
Rape allegations =
Legal separation.

David Bourke with:
Eradicating global poverty =
All very poor, a gigantic debt.

David Bourke with:
London's public transportation system =
Plot trip? Damn costly! No trains, no buses!

Tony Crafter with:
A) A typical woman. B) A typical man =
A) A compliant way? B) Napalm a city!

Tony Crafter with:
Internet Providers =
Dirtiest porn? Never!

Tony Crafter with:
Trace the moron? =
Enter chatroom.

Tony Crafter with:
Alien spaceships ~
in special shapes.

Tony Crafter with:
Trips abroad =
Bad airports.

Tony Crafter with:
Signature =
A true sign.

Scott Gardner with:
Zero degrees Fahrenheit =
Heard the region freezes!

Toby Gottfried with:
Wet behind the ears =
Er... he'd be new at this.

Adrian Hickford with:
A falsetto voice =
Feat to vocalise.

Paul Lusch with:
Military personnel =
Ten million prayers.

Paul Lusch with:
Personal hygiene =
Hey, soap inner leg!

Paul Lusch with:
Pantywaist =
A pansy twit.

Paul Pan with:
Romantic song =
Mating croons.

Rosie Perera with:
A new year dawns =
End War sane way.

Rosie Perera with:
Registered trademark =
Marketers regarded it.

Rosie Perera with:
Her face could launch a thousand ships. =
She had acne, foul rash, and (ouch!) cut lips.

Rosie Perera with:
"Tobacco rule" sign: ~
Close but no cigar.

Rosie Perera with:
Always look on the bright side of life =
Think of how agreeable silty flood is.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
A strategy =
Say target!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
Attention Deficit Disorder =
Tried to define distraction.

Don Rogers with:
Marriage counseling =
Encouraging realism.

Don Rogers with:
Marriage counseling =
Arguing; remain close.

Rick Rothstein with:
Lopsided =
Odd piles.

Rick Rothstein with:
I have no regrets, ~
the anger is over.

Rick Rothstein with:
Marriage counseling =
A romance is grueling.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Parental Advisory - Explicit Content =
To print sex and violence. Typical art!

Christopher Sturdy with:
Growth hormones =
Oh, short men grow.

View with:
House arrests ~
assure others.


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Adrian Hickford with:
Academy Award nominees =
Cinema nowadays... Dear me!

2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
"The Last Supper" (Leonardo da Vinci) ~
pictured the lone Savior and pals.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Heavy metal bands ~
have blasted many.

David Bourke with:
The singer Paul David 'Bono' Hewson =
Unshaven bighead, no polite words.

David Bourke with:
The actress Imelda Staunton =
Talented. Oscar is a must, then!

Tony Crafter with:
The female chess Grandmaster Maria Manakova =
Hmm! Camera's near a half-naked Soviet game-star.

Dan Fortier with:
Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston =
Join 'n' part: bet ain't "Friends"!

Scott Gardner with:
The Academy Award nominees =
Saw an animated comedy here.

Scott Gardner with:
'The Incredibles' =
Bit children see.

Toby Gottfried with:
Cyrano de Bergerac (Edmond Rostand) =
Grand romance cratered by odd nose.

Meyran Kraus with:
'The Water Lily Pond' by Claude Monet =
How learnedly talented... but myopic!

Meyran Kraus with:
The Leonard Bernstein musical, "West Side Story" =
So, desires couldn't last in the enemy tribes' war.

Rosie Perera with:
"The Last Supper" by Leonardo da Vinci =
Disciples have no party round table.

Christopher Sturdy with:
The documentary, Bowling for Columbine =
"Gun-owner Cult, Don't Fib" by Michael Moore.

View with:
New reality show 'The Will' =
I see who'll try & win wealth.

stephanemot with:
David Beckham is too stupid =
Avoid shot at dumb Spice Kid!


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Toby Gottfried with:
The Second Bush Inauguration =
In truth, USA, once is bad enough.

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
President's limo =
Simpleton's ride.

eq.3rd - Larry Brash with:
Voters turned out for the Iraqi elections =
A violent terrorist foe not quite crushed.

eq.3rd - Rick Rothstein with:
Sumatra, Indonesia =
O damn! A sea ruins it.

David Bourke with:
Henry Charles Albert David Mountbatten-Windsor =
No, the armband (and suit) wasn't terribly clever. Doh!

David Bourke with:
The anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz =
Nazi holocaust wish rather beaten in 'forty-five.

Tony Crafter with:
No parents, no home, so what is there left for us? =
One felt the sorrow of these tsunami orphans.

Joe Fathallah with:
Barry Ferguson =
Buy for Rangers?

Dan Fortier with:
Search fit Homeland chief... =
and he is Michael Chertoff!

Dan Fortier with:
California landslides =
Nice soil; add rain... falls!

Scott Gardner with:
The European Space Agency Saturn mission =
Huygens cruises, can see moon Titan appear.

Meyran Kraus with:
Year Two Thousand Five =
You favor this new date!

Meyran Kraus with:
The tsunami disaster =
Mad nature hits sites.

Meyran Kraus with:
Man Against Nature =
An anger at tsunami.

Rosie Perera with:
Last-minute anagrams =
Let's anagram 'tsunami'

Rosie Perera with:
Tsunami aid needed =
USA intended a dime.

Rosie Perera with:
Pinochet placed under house arrest ~
thus a pure Chilean despot cornered.

Rosie Perera with:
Newt Gingrich for President of USA? =
E.g., far right nut in power, I'd confess.

Rosie Perera with:
President Bush inaugurated in the second term =
Thus I predict huge unrest and more insane debt.

Zoran Radisavlevic with:
Sumatra, Indonesia =
Tsunami raid on sea.

Rick Rothstein with:
Storm surge ~
mugs resort.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Fifty wonderful years of Scrabble. Happy Birthday =
Fired by this fab half century of wordplay by Spear.


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - View with:
Actor Sylvester Stallone =
Very cool talentless star.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
CEO William Henry Gates the Third =
He cried: "Wealth, that's my religion!"

3rd - Larry Brash with:
The entertainer Michael Jackson =
Eliminate that jerk... he's a concern.

David Bourke with:
Adriana Iliescu, the world's oldest mother =
Toothless old dear: "Er, I'm sure I want a child!"

Tony Crafter with:
The US cult leader Charles Manson =
Consensus: Lethal, mad, cruel hater.

Tony Crafter with:
His Royal Highness, Charles, The Prince of Wales =
We hope he'll chastise his self-caring son, Harry.

Scott Gardner with:
Senorita Catalina Sandino Moreno =
So, Latina earned Oscar nomination?

Toby Gottfried with:
Achilles: Hero of the Greeks =
He rages! He kills foe, Hector!

Prof. K. Mascarenhas with:
Insane Saddam Hussein =
Indeed! Human Assassin!

Rosie Perera with:
Fashion designer Oscar de la Renta =
He adorns leaders in fine rag coats.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The late William Carson =
"I'm a show talent", I recall.

Don Rogers with:
Ross Perot =
SS trooper.

Rick Rothstein with:
The prophecies of Nostradamus =
Forecasts hide upon metaphors.

Christopher Sturdy with:
Alex Inglethorpe =
All Exeter hoping.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Leaning Tower of Pisa =
I spot one giant flaw here...

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
The Syrian Desert =
It's... er... sandy there.

3rd - Rosie Perera with:
American Society of Civil Engineers =
I secretly imagine nice roof caves in.

David Bourke with:
BMW - The Ultimate Driving Machine =
But, within vehicle:- German, dammit!

Tony Crafter with:
Ted Lapidus =
Dead tulips.

Joe Fathallah with:
Reebok =
BO reek!

Toby Gottfried with:
Harley-Davidson motorcycles =
Honda lovers decry 'toy' claims.

Paul Lusch with:
The Food and Drug Administration ~
had dogmas for nutrition and diet.

Rosie Perera with:
U.S. Tax Guide for Aliens =
Useful data: sex, origin.

Rosie Perera with:
Cheerios, Grape Nuts, Corn Flakes, Bran Buds? =
No, spurned such boring breakfast cereals.

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Seven Wonders of the ancient world =
Evidence shown: tetrahedron's now left!

Hans-Peter Reich with:
The Corel Draw Graphics Suite =
Do large picture with crashes.

Don Rogers with:
Compaq Presario personal computers =
Square, man. Top microprocessor: Apple!

Rick Rothstein with:
The Palestinian Authority =
Unity in path to hate Israel.

Christopher Sturdy with:
The League against Cruel Sports =
Great pleasure: I close stag hunt.


THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

1st - Scott Gardner with:
The children's classic Alice's Adventures in Wonderland =
Discusses a rich, enchanted land Lewis Carroll invented.

2nd - Rosie Perera with:
Why does George Mallory desire to climb Mount Everest? =
Gold? Glory? More wisdom? Mere novelty?
Because it's there!

3rd - Toby Gottfried with:
"To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer." =
This popular quote is true: great trouble from unruly machines.

David Bourke with:
The Hollywood film star Bradley William Pitt and the actress Jennifer Aniston have announced that they are separating. =
A statement read:
"Rachel from 'Friends' and Troy's truly vain Achilles not happy". (As in: "He went to bed with that Angelina Jolie".)

David Bourke with:
The Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp, Oswiecim =
War-Two Nazi concept: "Sub-human Semitic race" choke in it.

David Bourke with:
His Royal Highness Prince Harry of Wales (Henry Charles Albert David Mountbatten-Windsor) =
He's a Royal handful, Diana Spencer's wayward, not-very-bright son. (Tell him his brother's nicer!)

Larry Brash with:
His Royal Highness Prince Harry of Wales (Henry Charles Albert David Mountbatten-Windsor) =
All fresh reports say how rich charming boys with no brains rarely invade the Sudetenland.

Tony Crafter with:
The end of 'Strawberry Fields'. (That long-famous, Liverpool-based orphanage is to close.) =
Goodbye. It's sad - children's home of popular Beatles' hit song was not 'forever' after all.

Scott Gardner with:
"The Aviator," "Finding Neverland," "Million Dollar Baby," "Ray," "Sideways" =
Yes, all did brilliantly and have nominations for every big award.

David A. Green with:
'The Little Mermaid and Other Tales' by Hans Christian Andersen =
At bedtime his neat children's stories may enthral and enthral.

David A. Green with:
The English suffragette campaigners Emmeline, Sylvia, and Dame Christabel Pankhurst =
Half-demented females creating rumpus by chaining themselves against the park rails.

Meyran Kraus with:
UN General Assembly's Special Session honoring the Sixtieth Anniversary of the Liberation of Auschwitz death-camp =
Hoping that the exodus is the last nail in a Nazi tyranny's coffin, we believe no more such massacres are possible... right?

Christopher Sturdy with:
It is so very amusing to look up "boring" in the telephone directory. =
Grin a lot. In this dour book they prompt you to: See Civil Engineers.

Alan Yoshioka with:
The new Oxford Dictionary of National Biography from the university press =
I find arcane, noteworthy British figures from pilot to envoy, spy, and hoaxer.


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Richard Grantham with:
Piano

 

2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. There are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mother or father or it's my older brother Colin or it's my younger brother Ho Cha Song Sa Chu. But I think it's Colin.
=
Inferior logic. It obviously can't be my mom or my pop, for neither venture anywhere near the Chinese restaurant. Furthermore, my brother Colin (timid poof) likes pie 'n' chips. Ho politely doesn't say a thing. Therefore it has to be... Oh hell! It's me!

 

3rd - Paul Pan with:
Acknowledging the seven wonders of the ancient world:

Great Pyramids Egypt
Hanging gardens of Babylon
Statue of Zeus at Olympia
Temple of Artemis at Ephesus
Mausoleum at Halicarnassus
Colossus of Rhodes
Pharos of Alexandria

=

Hi, let us assess famed examples of our age's opuses:

Channel Tunnel
CN Tower
Empire State Building
Itaipu Hydrodam
Golden Gate Bridge
North Sea Protection Works
Panama Canal

Had enough? Lofty avatars my ass! Forgo sleazy show-offs!

 

David Bourke with:
The leader of the Conservative and Unionist Party of
Great Britain, and the Member of Parliament for
Folkestone and Hythe, the Right Honourable Michael Howard.
=
O, that arrant Tory Dracula! "Something of the night", I
believe. I recommend a plan to drive a stake in his heart,
and then run off. (Preferably before he'd howl at the moon!)

 

Toby Gottfried with:
Charles Philip Arthur George,
Anne Elizabeth Alice Louise,
Andrew Albert Christian Edward, and
Edward Anthony Richard Louis.
=
The children born to Elizabeth II and Philip are one wretched gang, and it's clear, dear, Airhead Harry, will, as usual, screw around.

 

Rosie Perera with:
"We are the first visitors to Titan and the scientific data we are collecting now shall unveil the secrets of this new world."
=
"We concoct tool, now have seen harsh, cold Saturnian satellite with its elevated terrain, fields strewn with stiff ice grit."

 


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Mike Keith with:
To Helen by Edgar Allan Poe

 

2nd - David Bourke with:
A Peter Cook/Dudley Moore sketch

 

3rd - Richard Grantham with:
The Ode to the Amoeba

 

Tony Crafter with:
Three pieces of advice for men who are aged sixty (as told to Billy Connolly)
1. Never miss an opportunity to have a piss.
2. Never trust a fart.
3. If you are lucky enough to get an erection, use it - even if you're on your own!
=
A very wet plea to sixteen-year-old boys:
1. Never miss any opportunity to go on the piss.
2. Never fart on your first date.
3. If you're unlucky enough to have an unwelcome erection - avoid lecherous self-gratification!

 

Meyran Kraus with:
A Monty Python rant, anagrammed into another rant

 

Christopher Sturdy with:
A poetic verse in an anagrammatic acrostic
=
Manic actor.
A part.
Game
I
Conceive
Is
As
'N art.

 


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
The Guinness Book of Records =
Fuck! So boring! Needs hooters!

2nd - David Bourke with:
I just came in my sleep =
Untimely jism escape!

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Stained motel sheets =
See that it's old semen.

David Bourke with:
The singer Melanie 'Sporty Spice' Chisholm =
Horny Spice Girl? I mean, she's complete shit!

David Bourke with:
Melania Knauss =
Anus like a man's.

Larry Brash with:
Less onanism to incur ~
nocturnal emissions.

Tony Crafter with:
German porno flicks =
Perform! No slacking!

Meyran Kraus with:
Chili and Tofu Stew recipe =
I need to crap -- I flush twice.

Rick Rothstein with:
It's her cum-filled slot ~
Christ! It smelled foul!

Christopher Sturdy with:
A mother-fucker ~
from the UK race.

View with:
Menstrual cycle =
Care, smelly cunt!


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